The Bewitched Box Set

by W. J. May

  I have to give him credit; he’s not as clueless as he looks. “For the short commute.”

  He laughs. “Yep, to food.”

  Dad could be funny when he wanted to. “Seems I’m not the only smart person in the family.”

  He beams ear-to-ear, then leads me to the administration building. He opens the door to the counselor’s office. A forty-something short woman with perfectly styled bleach-blond hair greets my father with a huge smile. “Good to see you, Joh...Mr. Warren.”

  My Dad’s cheeks actually turn red. “Ms. Crandy, this is my daughter Esme.”

  She reaches out her impeccably manicured hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Esme. Your father has told me so much about you.”

  “Really?” The irony hits me. What could he tell? He doesn’t even know me. Dad taps out a tune on the doorframe. I look back at Ms. Crandy beaming. Is she actually batting her eyelashes? Jeez. I suck in a breath. “I think Dad must be—”

  He cuts me off. “The first period bell is about to ring. I’m going to leave you in good hands. Ms. Crandy will get you all squared away.”

  I sit in the chair while my dad and the counselor huddle by the door. I’d bet Ms. Crandy is in the running for Mrs. Warren number four.

  She pops back inside and closes the door. “After reviewing your records, I took the liberty of setting up your courses for the year.” She hands me a sheet from a stack of papers on her desk. “Your grades are quite remarkable. Well, except for that slump last quarter. You’ll have no problem handling this schedule.”

  She would have to bring up the dip because of my breakup with Chris. My mouth goes dry when I read the list. First period: AP Calculus. Nothing like starting the day off with a headache. Second period: AP Botany. Maybe smelling flowers will ease my throbbing head. Third period: AP Literature. At least I can read something pleasant after my lunch. Fourth period: AP Government. Nothing like capping off the day with a bunch of BS. I smile up at Ms. Crandy. “All AP classes. Awesome. I feel tears of joy coming on. Do you have a Kleenex?”

  She laughs. “Oh, you’re just as funny as your father.” She stops and texts someone. Then Ms. Crandy points to a large stack of textbooks on the corner of her desk. “Here are your books for the semester. Your father has excused you from classes this morning so you can familiarize yourself with your courses.”

  A tiny bit of good news amongst the bad. “Terrific. Where do you want me to study?”

  She puts her hand under her chin like she’s an author posing for a back cover photo. Somehow her gesture makes me think of Jin. I hope he’s behaving himself and staying put in my room.

  “Let me see.” Ms. Crandy absently runs her fingers along the edge of her desk. “You could stay here but I have a meeting in ten minutes.” She glances at her phone checking for messages. “How about...”

  She’s the poster woman for blond jokes. “The library?”

  “Yes. Perfect.”

  I get up from my chair and just miss hitting a tall, athletic blonde girl striding through the door. “Hey, Mom. I got your text. Is this the newbie I’m supposed to show around?”

  Ms. Crandy clears her throat. “Um...Courtney, this is Principal Warren’s daughter, Esme.”

  What? Her name is Courtney Crandy? Oh come on, really? Then I look at her Barbie doll perfect blonde hair, long legs, glowing tan, and fake smile. She deserves the name.

  “I heard you’re from LA.” She checks out my nondescript outfit. “Thought you’d be tanner.”

  Her mother does the cut sign across her throat. I take in Courtney’s pleated navy skirt and white blazer with a gold shield. “Let me guess. You’re the class president.”

  “Yes, I am.” She seems oblivious that it’s not a compliment. I may be an A student but I haven’t drunk the academic Kool-Aid. Ms. Crandy moves over and stands between us. “Courtney, why don’t you give Esme here a tour of the campus? Then drop her off at the library.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Okay, but no more favors today, right?”

  Her mother nods and scoots Courtney closer to me. “You girls run along now. I have a parent conference any second.”

  I stuff the ton of textbooks into my backpack and heft it over my shoulder. Ms. Crandy practically shoves us out the door when a bell rings. As soon as her mother can’t see, Courtney pushes my arm aside. “Let’s get this straight right now. I’m going to show you around and drop you off at the library and never see you again.” She puts her hands on her hips. “Got it?”

  Wow, she must be ticked that our parents are dating. I plaster a fake grin on my face. “You mean we’re not going to be BFFs?”

  Courtney looks like she’s going to throw up. “No. Not ever.”

  How I wish Jin could make her disappear. I’d love to see Courtney vanish into a giant poof of air just like the monkey. To bad he can’t grant a remote wish. Why didn’t I think to bring him to school with me?

  She quickly walks ahead. Guess she made her position perfectly clear. Sure she would be devastated to know I’m thrilled to be free of her. I start to walk the other way.

  She grabs my arm. “Stop playing around. Follow me.”

  Somehow I’m not surprised she can’t cut me loose. Courtney takes her role as class president way too seriously. I reluctantly follow behind as she points out the various campus highlights. “Over there is Science and Math.” She motions toward a large building shaped like a turtle shell. “Of course, that's the auditorium.”

  A voice rings out as we pass the football field. “Hey, Cort. We still on for Friday?”

  She increases her pace and practically runs to a tall hunky guy dressed in a team jersey leaning against the fence. “Of course, babe!”

  I rest my backpack against a pillar as they flirt back and forth. He raises an arm the size of an Easter ham and points in my direction. Courtney pushes his hand aside. “Her? She’s just some newbie loser.”

  I hoist my backpack over my shoulder and head back toward the main part of campus. Like I need this kind of crap. I hear the sound of Courtney’s high-heeled Mary Janes clanking behind me. “Hey, where do you think you’re going?”

  “The library.”

  She grabs my arm. “You’re going the wrong way.” Her finger points to an older two-story brick building. “It’s over there.”

  “Thanks. You go back to your jock boyfriend.”

  She beams. “Isn’t he hot?”

  Like she really cares what I think. Yet I nod and head toward the library. Just what I need—a safe refuge. I yank on the heavy wood paneled doors trying to keep my loaded-down backpack from falling off my shoulder. Classes are in session so there is no one inside but a pretty coffee-haired woman sitting behind the massive front desk. She greets me with a smile. “Pass please.”

  “Sorry, I’m new here, don’t have one yet. Principal Warren sent me here to study.”

  Her pleasant smile fades just a little. “Oh.” She waves her hand at the empty tables lining one wall. “Choose whichever one you want. If you need help with anything let me know.”

  I nod and pick a table in the very back next to the reference stacks. The smell of ink and paper fills the air—comforting and familiar. Brings back memories of my grandmother’s study. How I miss her. My thoughts drift to the time I planted roses in her English garden. Grandma had quite the green thumb. How I loved to breathe in the fragrance of roses mixed with climbing jasmine. The loud chirping of my phone breaks my daydreaming. I click on the button and duck behind the stacks. At first I don’t recognize the number. Then it hits me. It’s Dad’s home phone. “Hello, Jin?”

  “Yes, Mistress, it is I.”

  “I told you not to call me unless it was an emergency.”

  “I understood you.”

  He sounds like Grandma when she lost patience with me. “Chill out. What’s the big problem? My Dad is coming to get me any sec. Can’t it wait until we head home for lunch?”

  “I am not cold, Mistress, quite the opposite. And no, you must return at
once. I must confess I disobeyed your orders. I went exploring the house and found an amusing miniature contraption and could not resist the temptation to...”

  “Spit it out Jin!”

  “I assure you I did not consume anything.”

  If only I could strangle him through the phone.

  “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  He coughs so hard I think he’ll drop the phone.

  “Jin are you okay?”

  The coughing stops.

  “Mistress—the kitchen is—on fire.”

  * * *

  Chapter Three

  Where There’s Smoke There’s Fire

  ––––––––

  Thank God for nosy neighbors. They called Dad so I didn’t have to break the news about the fire. He texts me to meet him in the parking lot ASAP. I throw my backpack over my shoulder and race over to the lot. I’m greeted by total silence as we pile into the GTO. I think we’re both too scared to talk. Dad revs the engine and we speed toward the house. My heart sinks when we pull up behind the fire truck. A thin veil of smoke covers the side where the kitchen is—or is it?

  I try to hop out of the car but my dad grabs my shoulders. “Stay here, Esme. It could be dangerous inside.”

  I fidget in my seat as he stands in the doorway talking to a fireman. I’ve got to get to Jin! As soon as Dad enters the house to survey the damage, I race out of the car and head blindly toward the side door. I hope Jin was smart enough to pop back into the vase.

  I run up to the door but stop dead in my tracks. A fireman blocks my way with his massive arm. “Stay right there, little girl.”

  Ugh. I don’t know what ticks me off more. Being called a little girl or not being able to reach my bedroom to find out if Jin is safe. “Excuse me, I have to get to my room.” The fireman’s arm still blocks my path. I need to think of an excuse. Lie. “Please...I need to make sure my cat’s okay.”

  He glares down at me. “Where is it?”

  I point to the far side of the house. “There.” Before he can say anything I duck under his arm and race for my room. I hold back the urge to cough. Jin—I need to get to him. Throwing open the door, I hope to see his bowler hat and charming smile but he’s not there. The vase. He has to be inside. I run my finger along the dragon’s tail to summon him. “Jin, it’s your Mistress. Come out now!”

  Nothing. Of course it’s hard to tell when my room is filled with a thin veil of smoke. Crap. Where is he? I hear my dad’s voice just outside the door. “Esme, I told you to wait in the car.”

  I grab the vase just in case Jin is inside. “Sorry, Dad. I just wanted to keep Grandma’s vase safe. ”

  “You act like it’s alive.”

  If only he knew.

  “Esme, it’s not safe here.” He shoos me away like a chicken. “Go out to the car and let the firemen do their job.”

  A deep voice booms from the kitchen. “That’s right. It’s not safe until I give the all clear.”

  Outnumbered, I dart back toward the car when I hear a strange whistling noise coming from the bushes that line the east side of the house. I recognize the tune-—the same one my grandmother’s mantel clock chimed every hour. The one Grandma told me rings out from Westminster tower in London. It has to be Jin. Just in case, I carefully creep next to the hedges. I let out a sigh of relief when I spy a bowler hat floating above the middle bush. “You’re one bad genie. What happened?”

  He pops his head up just far enough to see me. “Mistress, I apologize profusely. I had no idea modern contraptions could be so dangerous.”

  I clutch the vase to my chest like somehow it will be the next casualty. “What did you do?”

  He hangs his head. “The exact opposite of what you requested. I went exploring the house and found a strange device in the kitchen. It was dark as night—shaped like a pistol grip on a gun. I depressed a red button on the side of the handle and a flame shot out.”

  I rack my brain, trying to think of what he found. “What happened next?”

  “An unfortunate calamity. The flame grazed the kitchen curtains and then the wall covering caught on fire.” He took off the bowler hat and wiped his brow. “Mistress, I tried to put out the flames. I filled pots with water but the kitchen curtains were quickly consumed by fire. I proceeded to open a window and—”

  The one thing I learned from safety class at school is never open a window. Oxygen is a fire’s best friend. “The flames went higher.”

  He nods. “I closed the window and telephoned you immediately.”

  I should be furious with him. But I’m just grateful a neighbor called the fire department in time. From what I could see there seems to be only minor damage. “This is why I told you to stay in my room!”

  Jin’s eyes drift to the vase. “Esme, please do not banish me.”

  The firemen gather up their hoses and head toward their truck. I grab Jin’s hand and pull him out of the hedges. I spy the storage shed by the back gate and practically jog up next to it. I tuck Jin safely between the shed and the fence. “Stay here until you see me do this.” I hold my hand up and do a beauty pageant wave. “When Dad leaves I’ll give the signal, okay?”

  He nods his head. “Thank you for understanding, Mistress.”

  I don't understand anything except having a genie is one royal pain in the ass.

  ***

  I stare up at the charred curtains blowing through the open kitchen window and the soaking wet wallpaper and smile. Despite the fact that the house smells like burnt toast, Jin did me a favor. At least Dad will have to order out until he gets the kitchen fixed.

  Dad glowers at me. “If I didn't know you were in the library I’d swear you did this on purpose.”

  “Not funny, Dad. I had nothing to do with it.” Only a white lie.

  “Then why weren’t you surprised when I told you about the fire?”

  Crap. He won’t let it go. “I... have a sixth sense about disasters.”

  “Really? Didn’t you play with matches as a kid? The fireman said they might have started the fire.”

  “Wow. Thanks for the trust.” I spy the instrument of the crime by the sink, drowning in a pool of water, and pick it up. “What about this?”

  “Don’t change the subject.”

  “Looks like some kind of torch or something.”

  He grabs it from my hand. “It’s for melting sugar on crème brulee.”

  “Since when do you make fancy desserts?”

  “It’s Ms. Crandy’s.” He holds the melted handle in his hand. “I don’t know how I’m going to explain what happened to it.”

  I can’t help but crack a smile. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

  He doesn’t budge. “Esme, if I find out you had anything to do with this you’re grounded for life.”

  Who knew having a genie could get a girl in so much trouble? “Really, Dad. I know you’re upset, but to blame me...”

  He opens all the windows in the living room. Then he gently takes my shoulders and points to the avocado-green vinyl sofa in the living room. “Go over there and sit down.”

  I slowly trudge over to the sofa and do what he says. Dad stands over me nervously running his fingers through his hair. Terrific, here comes a lecture.

  “I’m sorry, Esme. It’s just that I’m a bit confused. You knew about the fire because you have a sixth sense?”

  I take a deep breath and prepare to lie again. “Ever since I was little I get these hunches about things.”

  “I’m not buying it, Esme. Remember, I’m a principal. I can smell a lie a mile away. You’re hiding something.”

  Yikes. This conversation isn’t going the way I planned. “Don’t you remember? Mom was the same way.”

  He stops fidgeting with his hair. “Your mother did say something about having a sixth sense.”

  I hold my hand over my mouth to stifle a laugh. Mom had a sixth sense all right—about Dad’s cheating. “She did. I have it too.”

  A look of relief
crosses his face. “What a crazy day. We need some lunch. How about I order a pizza.” He gives me a quick smile. “Not like I’m going to be cooking for awhile.”

  The last thing I feel like is food. Most of my friends back in LA lied all the time—makes my stomach churn. Grandma raised me to be honest. With Jin around I see a lot of Tums popping in my future.

  I smile back at Dad. “Let’s order up a pepperoni & cheese from Vinci’s and eat outside. Still stinks in here.” My hand flies to my face. What am I saying? Jin is still in the backyard hiding behind the shed.

  “Esme, are you okay?”

  “I’m good.” I swat at the air. “Just trying to kill some darn bug the firemen let in.”

  The lies were stacking up so fast I could hardly keep my story straight.

  Dad orders the pizza and I snag some napkins from the kitchen. “Meet you at the picnic table.”

  “Lunch should be here in about ten minutes.”

  Great, enough time to move Jin.

  I find him right where I left him behind the shed. “My dad is going to be here any sec. You need to jet back inside the house.”

  “Jet? What does it mean?”

  Not again. “It means move your ass now.”

  “But I do not possess a donkey.”

  OMG. Kill me now.

  Before he can do anything Dad comes striding toward the picnic table, pizza in hand. Darn. It really only took ten minutes. The downside of having a pizza parlor at the end of the street.

  “Come and get it.”

  Jin ducks back behind the shed as I sit on the bench. Despite my nerves, I wolf down two pieces of pizza like it’s the first food I’ve seen in months.

  “Teens.” Dad laughs. “Amazing how much you can eat.” He finishes off his slice and pats his hard earned flat stomach. “Once you reach my age your pigging out days are over.”

  I take in his crooked smile. No wonder women like Ms. Crandy still fall all over him. I spy Jin creeping along the fence. His foot tangles in the ivy and he hits the fence post. A loud cry rings out.

  Dad’s shoulders tighten up. “What’s that? Dexter better not be messing up the yard again. I told Mr. Plummer to tie him up.”