Too Much of a Good Thing

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

Curtis hesitated but finally stormed out. James and Mariah followed behind him.

  “Now, Alicia,” Tanya began. “I know you’re afraid, but you have got to tell me what happened today. We need to know as soon as we can so the policemen can do their jobs.”

  “But he said he would kill you and Daddy if I told,” Alicia said, sitting up. “And I believe him, Mom, because he showed me his gun.”

  “He had a gun?” Tanya asked, sitting down.

  “Yes.”

  “Well, regardless of what he said, you have to tell me who he is and what he did to you.”

  “But you’re going to be so mad at me, Mom. And Daddy is going to be even madder.”

  “No I won’t, Alicia. All I want is for you to help the police find this boy.”

  Alicia turned away from her mother and stared at the wall.

  “Alicia, please?” Tanya begged. “You have to tell me everything.”

  “His name is Julian, and I met him on-line.”

  “And?”

  “He lives right here in Hazel Crest, and his AOL name is JMoney1.”

  “Do you know what street?”

  “No, but it was a tan apartment building.”

  “How did you get over there?”

  “He picked me up in front of the school.”

  “In what?”

  “One of those black Cadillac pickups.”

  “What did he do when you got to his apartment?”

  Alicia’s eyes filled with tears again.

  “Come on, honey, you have to tell me.”

  “Mom, I told him I didn’t want to, but . . .”

  “It’s okay, Alicia,” Tanya said, sitting on the bed holding her daughter.

  “Mom, he hurt me so badly when he did it . . . I mean it really, really hurt. And then he told me he never wanted to see me again.”

  “We have to tell the police.”

  “No, Mom,” Alicia cried, reaching for her mother, trying to stop her from moving away from the bed. “He said he would kill you.”

  “Honey, we have to. And the police will protect all of us when we do.”

  Tanya asked one of the nurses to get one of the police officers, but two of them came to Alicia’s room. One tall and one much shorter. Tanya told them everything, but when they attempted asking Alicia more questions, she refused to say a word. She wouldn’t even give them a physical description.

  “We have all of your information, ma’am,” the taller one said to Tanya. “And we’ll be in touch as soon as we have something.”

  “Thank you, officers.”

  Tanya turned to Alicia. “Let me go out and get everybody, and I’ll be right back.”

  “No, Mom, please don’t leave me.”

  “Honey, it will only take a minute.”

  “No, let the nurse go get them.”

  And that’s what Tanya did. But as soon as Curtis heard the entire story, he lost it.

  “I’m going to kill that little bastard,” Curtis said. He was so furious, and while he knew that of all people, a minister shouldn’t consider murdering anyone, he couldn’t help it. That little thug had violated his daughter, and he was going to have to pay for it. It would be better for this Julian if the police found him first.

  “Daddy, just leave him alone,” Alicia begged. “He said he would kill you and Mom if I told.”

  “He’s not going to do anything. I promise you that. Because if any killing goes on, I’ll be the one doing it.”

  “I know how you feel,” Mariah finally said. “But, Curtis, nobody is worth killing or going to jail over.”

  Curtis looked at her like she didn’t have a brain in her head. She knew better than to disagree with him in front of people, so he wondered why she was opening her mouth now. He gave her a dirty look, though, and she focused her eyes back on Alicia.

  “Mariah is right, he’s not worth it,” Tanya added. “The police are going to handle this, and they’ll probably have him locked up by morning.”

  “I agree, because there can’t be that many Julians who own a black Cadillac pickup and who also live in Hazel Crest,” James said.

  Curtis was sick of all of them.

  “Mrs. Howard,” a thirty-something Asian nurse said. “We really need to examine Alicia now.”

  Curtis saw the nervous look on Alicia’s face.

  “That will be fine, but will it be okay for me to stay with her while you do it?” Tanya asked.

  “Sure, but everyone else will have to step back out to the waiting area.”

  “I love you, baby girl,” Curtis said, kissing his daughter. “And I’ll be right here when they finish.”

  “I love you, too, Alicia,” James said, and Curtis wanted to backhand him.

  Mariah looked like she’d swallowed a canary, and Curtis knew it was because she didn’t know what to say. She knew Alicia couldn’t stand her, so telling Alicia she loved her wouldn’t have been the best choice of words. Instead she said, “I’ll be back to see you when they say it’s okay.”

  When they left, two nurses and a resident physician did a thorough examination. Tanya swallowed hard when she saw all the dried-up blood and thought she would have to leave the room when she saw Alicia jerking in pain. She couldn’t help picturing the way Julian had raped her baby. Alicia was only fourteen, but now she’d lost her virginity in a violent and devastating way. Tanya wondered what she could have done to prevent it, and wished she had monitored Alicia’s daily Internet usage. She’d seen a story on one of the nightly news programs about how dangerous Internet chatting could be, but she’d never imagined that her own child would become a victim. The reporter had discussed teenagers and how easy it was for certain predators to gain their trust. He’d even talked about a sixteen-year-old who’d gone to meet a man in his fifties, even though he’d told her he was twenty. But that little girl wasn’t as blessed as Alicia, because when the police had found her two months later, she’d been raped, beaten, and strangled to death.

  So now Tanya knew she’d taken the story much too lightly and that from now on she was going to pay attention to everything Alicia was doing. She was going to make sure their lines of communication were more open so that Alicia wouldn’t be afraid to come to her about anything. She was hoping that Alicia would never have to resort to meeting on-line strangers again.

  When the examination was complete, the doctor spoke to Tanya and Curtis alone.

  “I don’t know if you’re interested, but just to be on the safe side, you might want to consider giving Alicia what we call the morning-after pill,” the resident said.

  “I’ve heard about it, but I’m not that familiar with what it actually does,” Tanya said.

  “It’s a method of contraception that will not end an existing pregnancy, but it does reduce a woman’s chance of getting pregnant by seventy-five to eighty-nine percent. So, basically, she would take a series of pills and would have to begin doing so within seventy-two hours of the incident. I suggest starting right away, though.”

  “Are there any side effects?” Curtis asked.

  “She might experience some nausea, may start vomiting, and she might have some irregular bleeding, but she should be okay in general.”

  “Well, unless you have a problem with it, I think we should do it,” Tanya said to Curtis.

  “No, I agree, because the last thing we want is for her to end up pregnant by some rapist. And on top of that, she’s just a baby herself,” Curtis said, realizing he and Tanya hadn’t agreed on much of anything in years and he was glad they hadn’t argued about this.

  When they arrived back at Tanya and James’s house, Curtis and Mariah came in to make sure Alicia was settled. But Curtis couldn’t help grilling her.

  “Alicia, just tell me one thing. Why did you have that boy pick you up when you know you’re supposed to come straight home from school?”

  “I dunno,” she said.

  “You do know, and I also want to know why you let him rape you.”

  Alicia fell in
to her mother’s arms.

  “Curtis, we’re all upset, it’s been a very trying day, and I think it would be best if we all get some sleep.”

  Curtis wanted Alicia to answer his questions tonight, but against his will, he decided to let her rest.

  “I’ll be over here first thing in the morning,” he promised. “Let’s go, Mariah.”

  “Tanya and James, please call if you need anything,” Mariah offered. “No matter what time it is.”

  “We definitely will, and thanks for being with us all evening,” Tanya said, smiling at her.

  Curtis and Mariah walked out of the house, got into their respective vehicles, and drove home. After a few miles, Curtis realized he’d forgotten to call Deacon Taylor. It was too late now, but he would call him first thing in the morning to see what information he’d been able to find.

  He continued driving and his thoughts came back to Alicia. He didn’t know whether to be sad, mad, or thankful that she wasn’t hurt any worse. During the course of the evening he’d felt all three emotions, but now he was leaning toward fury. He hadn’t understood how she’d been so naïve as to become mixed up with the likes of this Julian person. Especially since she had everything any child could want. No, she didn’t have both parents living under one roof, and no, he hadn’t been there for her as much as she wanted. But still, none of the above justified her recent behavior.

  He would let her know that tomorrow. He would make sure she never did something this stupid ever again.

  Chapter 20

  Alicia cuddled the teddy bear her father had given her years before and flipped through the channels on her television. When she arrived at the Nickelodeon channel, she sat the selector down. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d watched anything so childish, but already she felt a sense of comfort. She felt like a small child and not at all like the seventeen-year-old she’d pretended to be. It had been such a mistake, her allowing Julian to pick her up from school, but he’d seemed so friendly each time they’d chatted. He’d seemed even nicer when she’d spoken to him on the phone. He’d even told her how beautiful she was and that he was in love with her. So she couldn’t understand at all how everything had gone wrong. She couldn’t understand why he’d forced her to have sex with him. She could still feel his body weight on top of her. She could feel the awful stinging and the actual tearing between her legs. She’d trusted him like she’d known him all her life.

  Alicia was so embarrassed, and she was very sorry that she’d ever gone into that singles chat room. But she’d needed someone to talk to. She needed someone who was paying attention to her. She needed someone to give her the love her father wasn’t giving. She told herself over and over again that this was the reason, and it was.

  She was gazing at the TV when she heard knocking. She knew it had to be James, because her mother had already come in to check on her. Plus, her mother never waited. She always knocked and walked in simultaneously.

  “Yes?”

  “Hey, pumpkin, it’s me. Can I come in?” James asked.

  “Yes.”

  “So how are you feeling?” He walked toward her with his arms folded, already dressed for work.

  “Not that good,” she said.

  “But you do know we’re going to get through this, right?”

  Alicia nodded yes.

  “And no matter how bad things may seem and no matter what happens in the future, I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you. I know I’m not your real father, but you will always be able to count on me.”

  Alicia believed every word he said and tears rolled down her face.

  James hugged her. “I love you, pumpkin, and I’ll see you this evening.”

  He strolled to the doorway, looked back at her, and smiled.

  “I love you, too, James, and I’m glad Mom married you,” she said, and was relieved he wasn’t angry with her. She knew he was disappointed, though, but just hadn’t showed it. Now she was even more embarrassed.

  When he left, Alicia painfully eased out of bed and walked over to her window. The sun was shining brightly, but it did nothing for her depression. Still, she stood there, replaying the day before and wishing she could talk to Danielle. Alicia hadn’t been very nice to her when Danielle said she didn’t want to cover for her, and Alicia wanted to apologize. She hadn’t found the nerve to call her this morning, but she would try to after school. Maybe Danielle would even come over to visit her.

  After Alicia slipped back into bed, Tanya walked in with orange juice and oatmeal.

  “They caught him, baby. I just hung up from the detective, and he told me they picked him up this morning.”

  “How did they find him?” Alicia asked, since they didn’t know what he looked like or exactly where he lived.

  “One of the officers took a chance on running the license plate JMoney1, and sure enough it was registered to Julian Miller.”

  Until now Alicia hadn’t known what his last name was.

  “So we can all thank God that that boy was foolish enough to use his on-line name for his personalized plates,” Tanya said.

  “Will they wanna ask me more questions? Because I don’t wanna have to talk to them again.”

  “Honey, they need you to come identify him.”

  Alicia felt a wave of terror.

  “But what if he gets out and comes looking for me?”

  “He won’t. At least not for a very long time, because when I asked the detective what he thought would happen to him, he told me he couldn’t say for sure, but that he did know Julian will be charged with a felony. And it’s all because he’s more than five years older than you.”

  “But I’ll be fifteen next month, and he’s only nineteen.”

  “No he’s not,” Tanya said, sitting down on the bed. “He’s twenty-one.”

  Twenty-one? That meant he’d lied about his age, too. It also meant she’d been with more of a grown man than she’d thought.

  “Will they make me come to court?”

  “They can’t make you because you’re a minor, but, Alicia, I really think you should go. You need to do whatever you can to help the state put Julian in prison.”

  Alicia didn’t know if she could do that. She didn’t know if she could face the man that she’d trusted—the man that had raped her. What she wanted was to forget that any of this had happened, but now the police wanted her to come identify him, and her mother wanted her to testify. She’d seen a lot of testifying in movies, but she still didn’t want to do it herself.

  Tanya rubbed Alicia’s back and said, “I know you’re afraid, but I’ll be with you every step of the way. We’ll all be there with you until this is over.”

  “I’m so sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry I snuck behind your back to go be with him.”

  “Well, I just hope you realize how serious this is and how much you let all of us down. We’re all very hurt by what happened.”

  “I know, Mom, and I won’t ever do anything like that again.”

  “I’m happy to hear that, because you could have been killed, and we still have to pray that you’re not pregnant.”

  Alicia felt like dying. As soon as they’d given her that first pill at the hospital, she’d pushed the idea of being pregnant completely out of her mind. There was no way she could have a baby. Her friends would drop her, the same as they did that girl Robyn when she had hers in eighth grade.

  “But what if I am, Mom? What am I going to do?”

  “We won’t even think about that right now.”

  “Well, when do the police want me to come in?”

  “As soon as we’re dressed. I know you’re not feeling up to it, but the sooner we can get this over with, the better. Okay?”

  Alicia nodded.

  “And I’m also going to call your father to go with us.”

  Alicia dreaded seeing him. Especially since he’d seemed so angry with her before going home last night. She hoped he wasn’t planning to yell at her again, because she could
n’t take it.

  “So why don’t you eat your oatmeal and then go take a shower,” Tanya said, standing up.

  “Okay,” Alicia said, but she still wasn’t hungry. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to eat again.

  “Oh, and another thing.” Tanya turned to look at Alicia. “Even though I’m disappointed about what happened, I want you to know how much I love you. And you will always be the most important person in my life. I don’t quite understand why you did what you did, but—”

  “I did it because I felt all alone,” Alicia interrupted.

  “But why?” Tanya said, sitting back down on the bed. “James and I always try to do things with you. We always try to make you happy.”

  “But Daddy doesn’t. He always says he’s gong to do stuff with me and then he never does. I don’t even get a chance to talk to him that much anymore.”

  “Maybe not, but confiding in a stranger wasn’t the answer.”

  “But Julian didn’t seem like a stranger. He listened to me, and he told me he loved me. He made me feel important.”

  “Well, as much as I wish I could, I can’t change the way your father is.”

  “But why does he treat me like that when I love him so much?”

  Tanya was speechless.

  “I don’t know, honey. Sometimes life isn’t fair, and all we can do is pray for things to get better.”

  Alicia had already tried that, but it hadn’t worked. She’d even tried messing up in school, but that hadn’t worked either. Although she wondered if being raped by a twenty-one-year-old man would make him finally pay attention to her.

  “Things won’t ever get better with him,” Alicia said.

  “Well, even if they don’t, you’re still going to be okay. And from now on I want you to start coming to me whenever you feel sad or lonely or when you’re having any problems at all. I don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t tell me everything.”

  Tanya hugged Alicia, and Alicia felt protected. The same as when she was a little girl.

  “Alicia, do you realize how senseless this was?” Curtis lectured. But Alicia sat quietly in the leather chair with her legs resting on the ottoman, trying to tune him out. Tanya was across from her on the love seat and Curtis sat on the sofa. They’d just returned from the police station, and now Alicia wished he would leave her alone.