Too Much of a Good Thing

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Do you realize how serious this could have been?” he continued. “Do you realize we could be arranging your funeral right now or that he could have killed all of us? And on top of that, Alicia, we find out this thug is a drug dealer.”

  “But I didn’t know that,” she finally said.

  “Well, from what I can see, all the signs were right in your face. You said yourself that people kept ringing the doorbell.”

  “But I already told you, I thought he was selling CDs.”

  “Well, you thought wrong. And if you couldn’t simply look at that Negro and tell he was a drug dealer, you have a lot to learn. I knew what he was as soon as he walked in for that lineup.”

  “Daddy, I said I was sorry, so what else do you want me to do?”

  “I want you to tell me why you made such a reckless decision.”

  Alicia looked at her mother, silently begging for help.

  “Honey, why don’t you tell him exactly what you told me,” Tanya said.

  “I’ve already told him that a hundred times,” Alicia said, looking toward the window.

  “Told me what?” Curtis asked.

  “That you don’t care anything about me. That you act like you don’t even have a daughter.”

  “Now, Alicia, you know I love you more than anything in this world, and I would give my life for you if I had to. But I also have a church to run, too.”

  “Daddy, why do you do that? Why do you make excuses for everything?”

  “I don’t, Alicia. It may seem like that, but I don’t do that on purpose.”

  “You couldn’t even pick me up for my dance on time.”

  “I know I messed up with that, but I told you I would make it up to you. And that’s still beside the point, because that has nothing to do with this Julian situation.”

  After all that had happened, he still didn’t get it. But Alicia wasn’t going to keep whining and complaining about something that was never going to be. She was starting to sound like a broken record, a pitiful little child who had nothing, and she didn’t like it. But it was just that she loved her father so much and truly wanted a relationship with him. She’d always been a daddy’s girl, but it was finally time to accept things the way they were. Which wasn’t so bad, because she still had her mother and James. She still had two people who genuinely loved her.

  She looked at her mother and regretted every smart comment she’d ever made to her. She was sorry for every time she’d come home later than she was supposed to. Sorry for purposely skipping class and not doing homework. Sorry for not cleaning up her room when she was told. She was sorry for being raped.

  Her father ranted for another twenty minutes and then made more fake promises. Today Alicia took all of his words with a grain of salt. She’d been doing that all along, but this time his lies didn’t matter so much.

  As soon as he left, Alicia went over and lay in her mother’s arms.

  She closed her eyes.

  She mentally asked God to forgive her.

  She prayed she would get past what had happened to her.

  She thanked God for James and her mother.

  She thanked God for making them a family.

  Chapter 21

  At Curtis’s request, Whitney had scheduled an impromptu meeting that afternoon with Deacon Thurgood and Deacon Winslow, and now Curtis couldn’t wait for the next hour to pass. He’d finally spoken to Deacon Taylor this morning and learned that both Deacon Thurgood and Deacon Winslow weren’t the holiest men alive. They talked a good talk, but Curtis was sure they would never want some of the incidents from their pasts exposed to the congregation. And if they played their cards right, Curtis wouldn’t tell a soul what he knew. His lips would be sealed. That is, if they dropped their opposing views. They would have to agree with everything Curtis proposed from here on out.

  He walked out of his study and told Whitney he was on his way over to the educational center but would be back in plenty of time to meet with the deacons. Each week he tried to drop in and speak to the members, mostly women, who volunteered in the soup kitchen, the food pantry, and the clothing bank. They loved seeing him, and he wanted them to know how much he appreciated their efforts. All three programs were extremely important to him, because he knew firsthand what it was like, going without food and clothing. He rarely thought about his childhood, though, and hadn’t called his mother in years. Sometimes he wanted to, because he truly loved her, but he’d decided a long time ago that it would be better if he didn’t. Better if he tried to forget how poor they’d been and how his father had spent all his money on other women. It was better because when he didn’t talk to his mother, he didn’t have to blame her for not taking him out of that horrible situation.

  But Mother’s Day was just over two weeks away, and the one thing he did do every year was send her a card and a check for one thousand dollars. Maybe this year he would even call to talk to her.

  When he went into the clothing bank he saw ten homeless men over in the men’s section and twenty or so women on the other side of the room.

  “Hi, Pastor,” Sister Waters said. She was seventy-something, the oldest of the volunteers and the best cook at the church.

  “How are you, sister?” he said, kissing her on the cheek.

  “I’m just happy to be alive and in my right mind,” she said, smiling.

  “I hear you. So am I.”

  “And how’s Sister Black?”

  “She’s good. She’ll be here later for her YGM gathering.”

  “I heard from Sister Fletcher that Sister Black has really motivated her foster daughter. She says that girl has a whole new attitude since she started meeting with Sister Black’s ministry.”

  “It really is a blessing, isn’t it?” Curtis said, and realized Mariah was going to be missed by many when he divorced her. But they would just have to get used to his son’s mother instead.

  “How are you, Pastor?” Sister Davis, a fifty-something wealthy widow said.

  “I’m fine, sister. And you?”

  “I can’t complain. And this is Sister Harris,” she said, introducing a woman who looked to be in her early thirties and whom Curtis hadn’t seen before.

  “It’s good to meet you,” Curtis said, shaking her hand, but had to catch himself when he realized he was staring at her. She was tall, shapely, and had perfect skin. She was beautiful, and he didn’t have to ask her or anyone else if they were attracted to each other. The chemistry between them was immediate.

  “It’s good to meet you, too,” she said, smiling.

  “Are you a member here?” Curtis asked, and for the first time recognized the disadvantage of having so many members. It prevented him from seeing and meeting gorgeous women like Sister Harris. But maybe it was best because he didn’t need any other temptations. He had to stick to his new policy about only dating women outside of the church.

  “Yes, but I’ve been traveling pretty extensively on the weekends for my company and usually only get to church maybe once a month. But since I decided to take off a couple of weeks, I promised myself I was going to volunteer at the church a couple of days.”

  “Well, I’m glad to hear that,” he said, checking to see if there were any wedding rings, but there weren’t. “We truly need more people like you in the church.”

  “I’m just glad to be helping out,” she said, folding some shirts.

  “Well, I do hope to see you again, sister . . .” Curtis said when Sister Davis stepped away to answer someone’s question.

  “It’s Leah Harris, and I’m sure you will,” she said.

  Curtis made his way around to all the volunteers and took one last look at Leah before walking out.

  Lord have mercy, was all he could think. He wanted her badly, but he knew he had to focus on this situation with Charlotte. He had to stay focused on being with his son. He already had too many irons in the fire, but maybe Leah could take Adrienne’s place. Especially since it sounded like she traveled a lot. Which probab
ly meant she would never be interested in a permanent relationship. But then there was the problem of her being a member of the church. He just couldn’t violate his new strategy, but maybe she’d be willing to leave Truth and attend somewhere else if he asked her to. He’d have to give all of this serious consideration.

  When he walked back up to his study, he saw the two deacons waiting outside his office. Whitney looked up at him, and Curtis knew she was wondering why he’d asked to meet with them. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, but he’d decided it was best that only he and Deacon Taylor knew about this particular scenario.

  “Come on in, Deacons,” Curtis said, walking near them. “And, Whitney, please hold all my calls.”

  “Of course, Pastor,” she said. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

  Curtis closed the door and both Deacon Thurgood and Deacon Winslow sat down in front of his desk. Curtis sat behind it and leaned back in his chair.

  “Well, I’m sure you’re both wondering why I called you here,” Curtis began.

  “As a matter of fact, we are,” Deacon Thurgood answered.

  “Yeah, because you usually don’t call individual meetin’s without the rest of the board,” Deacon Winslow said.

  “No, but I really don’t think you want anyone else to be here for this one,” Curtis said.

  “Well, I guess you know best,” Deacon Thurgood said.

  “I do. But ever since I came here, the two of you have been acting like I don’t. You’ve been acting as if I don’t know anything.”

  “That’s not true, Pastor,” Deacon Winslow said. “Because we wouldna agreed to hire you if we felt that way.”

  “That’s a fact,” echoed Deacon Thurgood.

  “Maybe, but at the last meeting the two of you shot down all three of my proposals. The ATMs, direct deposit, and the financial planners.”

  “But no one else agreed with you either,” Deacon Thurgood explained.

  “Only because the two of you influenced them.”

  “That’s just not true,” Deacon Winslow said. “Those men all know how to speak for themselves and we never try to stop ’em.”

  “Well, I really didn’t call you here to argue, and the bottom line is this: I want you both to stop opposing everything I have to say. And at the next meeting I want you to tell the board that you’ve reconsidered your positions, and that you think it would be smart for us to install ATMs, set up direct deposit accounts, and hire financial planners.”

  “Man, you can’t be serious,” Deacon Thurgood said. “You must think we little boys or somethin’.”

  “No, but this is the way it’s going to be,” Curtis said.

  “No it’s not,” Deacon Thurgood argued. “We don’t believe in all this mess you trying to get us to do, and nothin’ is going to change that.”

  “You got that right, Fred!” Deacon Winslow exclaimed.

  “No, Fred doesn’t have anything right, but I’ll tell you what he does have,” Curtis said. “Fred Thurgood has a criminal record. Fred Thurgood killed a man down in Clarksdale, Mississippi, back in 1958.”

  “That was self-defense,” Deacon Thurgood admitted.

  “Not according to some of the people who lived down there. No, according to them, you went looking for that man when you found out your wife was sleeping with him. And then you made it look like self-defense.”

  “Now that’s a lie,” Deacon Thurgood said, sliding to the edge of his chair.

  Curtis was loving every minute of this. He knew he had the deacon just where he wanted.

  “Whether it’s a lie or not, how do you think the rest of the board and the church as a whole are going to feel once they hear about this?”

  “This just ain’t right, Pastor,” Deacon Winslow interrupted. “You know it ain’t.”

  Curtis clasped his hands together. “And Deacon Winslow, it wasn’t right when you stole all those envelopes out of the collection plate at that church you used to attend on the West Side. I hear you had a real good time, until somebody busted you.”

  “The Lord done forgave me for that,” Deacon Winslow tried to defend himself. He looked like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

  “I’m sure he has, but you never can tell how church people are going to react to something like this. They don’t like thieves handling their hard-earned money,” Curtis said. Deacon Winslow was weak, and Curtis enjoyed taunting him.

  “I just can’t believe you would do this,” Deacon Thurgood said. “Not a man of God.”

  “Well, it’s not like I have to. Not if you do what I ask. If you agree with everything I propose from now on, your little secrets will be safe with me. You won’t ever have to worry about anything.”

  “Pastor, I’m really disappointed in you,” Deacon Thurgood said. “I just wouldn’t have expected you to try and blackmail us like this.”

  “And I wouldn’t have had to if you would’ve recognized from the beginning that this is my church. You and the rest of the deacons help govern what goes on, but I’m the head Negro in charge around here. There’s only room for one chief, and I’m it. I’m the chief until I leave here.”

  “Lord, Lord, Lord,” Deacon Winslow said. “I just don’t know what to say.”

  “Well, you’d better figure out something before our meeting tomorrow,” Curtis promised.

  The two deacons sat quietly. Curtis could tell they were in a definite state of shock. He could also tell they didn’t understand who they were dealing with, but Curtis wasn’t about to let two old-timer deacons stand in his way. He’d tried to be polite to the entire board, but with his one-year anniversary less than three months away, it was time he took charge.

  “Unless you have something else, that’ll be all,” Curtis said.

  Deacon Thurgood stood and walked toward the door. Deacon Winslow followed behind him. Curtis knew they would never debate him again. Not now, not ever.

  Curtis highlighted some scriptures he wanted to use during next Sunday’s sermon. He wrote a few additional notes and then smiled when he thought about the deacons. He’d phoned Deacon Taylor right after they’d left, and the two of them had laughed about the whole situation. Curtis had told him how surprised the deacons were and how they’d hightailed it out of his office without looking back. Curtis knew Deacon Thurgood would die if he found out his own sister-in-law was the one who’d told about him killing a man. Deacon Winslow would be mortified if he knew another deacon had blabbed about his former theft practices.

  Curtis took a sip of water and heard his cell phone ringing.

  “Pastor Black,” he said, even though he recognized Charlotte’s number.

  “How are you?” she asked.

  “Great, now that I’m hearing from you.”

  “Is that right?”

  “You know I wouldn’t lie to you. Especially not after last night.”

  Charlotte laughed. “I wore you out, didn’t I?”

  “That you did. But you always do.”

  “So how is Alicia?”

  “I called her again this morning, but she didn’t have much to say. And that argument we had after coming back from the police station yesterday didn’t help things.”

  “Well, she’s really been through a lot, but I’m sure she’ll eventually come around.”

  “I hope so. And soon, because I don’t like this wedge we have between us.”

  “I can imagine. But hey, the reason I’m calling is because I thought tonight might be a good night for you to meet Matthew. But only if you meant what you said.”

  “Of course I meant it. I would never joke about something like that.”

  “Curtis, I hope you are, because that’s the only way I can let you meet him. And if you change your mind about leaving your wife and you don’t marry me like you’re claiming, you won’t ever get to see your son again. I hate giving you an ultimatum like this, but I have to protect both him and me.”

  “And I understand that,” Curtis said.

  “Then whe
re do you want to meet?”

  “The same place as Saturday?”

  “No, because the last thing I want is for your wife to show up there again.”

  “She won’t, but if you don’t feel comfortable, we can go somewhere else.”

  “I think that would be better.”

  “Then why don’t we meet over in Barrington. It’ll be a little bit of a drive for you, but a friend of mine has this nice condo he entertains at sometimes. But I need to call him to see if it’s okay.”

  “Well, just let me know as soon as you can.”

  “I’ll call him now. And, Charlotte?”

  “Yes?”

  “Thanks.”

  “For what?”

  “For giving me a son.”

  “I’m sure he’ll be just as happy as you are when he sees you.”

  Curtis hung up, wishing there was another way. But he knew Charlotte wouldn’t accept anything less. He almost had to laugh at how strangely the tables had turned, though. She was so different now that she was in her twenties. She was a woman who knew what she wanted and knew how to get it. But what she didn’t know was that he couldn’t have cared less about her new way of thinking. What she didn’t know was that he was only going along with her little arrangement because he wanted to be in the same household as his son. In return, she would have to become the perfect first lady of Truth Missionary Baptist Church. She would have to recognize that his son and church were his priorities.

  Curtis checked with Tyler to make sure the condo was available and then called Charlotte back. But now he had to call Adrienne, because he’d promised her they could spend the evening together. He wasn’t sure how he was going to break the news to her, but he would figure out something as he went along.

  “Adrienne Jackson,” she said.

  “Hi, baby,” he said.

  “Heyyy. How are you, sweetheart?” she said, and Curtis dreaded canceling on her.

  “Well, I sort of have this schedule conflict,” he said.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “I thought one of my associate ministers was going to lead Bible study and prayer service tonight, but it looks like he can’t. And I’ve even tried to contact some of the others, but most of them have other obligations I’ve already assigned them. So it looks like I won’t be able to see you until tomorrow.”