Too Much of a Good Thing

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Curtis, not again.”

  “Baby, I can’t help it. You know I went to an evening service on Sunday, I saw you on Monday, and then I was with Alicia all yesterday. I even stayed with her last night at the hospital, and Tanya and I brought her home this morning.”

  He hated lying about his own daughter being admitted to the hospital, but he couldn’t think of anything else to tell Adrienne.

  “I don’t have a problem with that, but why was she there that long?” she asked. “Was she severely beaten? Because they don’t usually keep rape victims for two nights. A coworker of mine was raped a few years ago, and she was treated and released the same evening.”

  “Everybody’s different, and he did hurt her pretty badly,” Curtis said.

  “Maybe. But you mean to tell me you have all those associate ministers and all those deacons and not one of them can stand in for you?”

  “No, so please try to understand.”

  “I’m trying, but it’s hard when I have memories of how it used to be before. You would cancel on me and go places with Tanya. Remember the time I followed you and wanted to know why you were sneaking around behind my back? And you told me that you didn’t have to sneak to do anything with your own wife?”

  “Baby, why are you bringing up the past? I thought you said you weren’t going to do that anymore.”

  “I know. But when you cancel on me, it makes me wonder.”

  “Well, I’m not doing it because I want to. I just don’t have a choice.”

  “Then what about after prayer service?”

  Curtis wondered why she was so adamant about seeing him. Especially since he’d been with her just two nights ago. Plus, she never wanted to meet him too late on weeknights because of the deacon.

  “I won’t be finished until around nine or nine-thirty,” he said.

  “That works for me, so are we meeting at Tyler’s or somewhere else?”

  Ohhh Lord. Definitely not at Tyler’s. That’s where he was meeting up with Charlotte and Matthew. He knew he wouldn’t be having sex with Charlotte tonight, not with his son being there, but he still didn’t want to take the chance of Adrienne bumping heads with them. It was too risky.

  “Why don’t we just wait until tomorrow? I have a meeting with the deacons, but I can meet you after that.”

  “Fine. If that’s what you want.”

  “It’s not, but it can’t be helped.”

  This time she didn’t respond.

  “I’ll call you first thing in the morning, okay?”

  “Fine.”

  That was two too many “fines” in one conversation, but he was sure she’d get over it soon enough.

  “I love you,” he said.

  “Talk to you later,” she said, and hung up.

  She was still angry, but after he bought her something special and made love to her, everything would be okay again.

  Chapter 22

  Curtis was on pins and needles waiting for Charlotte and Matthew to arrive. He felt the way most children feel on Christmas Eve. He could still remember how excited Alicia used to be when he and Tanya were still together. The memory of it all sort of saddened him since he and Alicia were so far apart now. He tried to believe that it wasn’t his fault, but he knew he had to accept most of the blame. He just hadn’t found enough time for her since he’d become a pastor again. It was no excuse, but the church and gaining control of it, little by little, had become his priority. But he did feel guilty about all of the nights he’d been spending with Adrienne, and now the two nights he’d spent with Charlotte. Three if you counted this evening. He also hated admitting another truth he knew he couldn’t deny. Their relationship wasn’t the same now that Alicia wasn’t living with him. He’d tried to spend as much time with her as possible when Tanya first married James, but he could never accept the fact that James was the one in the house with Alicia. James was the one who saw her every day and took her places, just the way he’d told Curtis the night Alicia was raped. Curtis knew it was wrong of him, but to a certain degree he also envied James and Tanya’s relationship. He could tell they were in love with each other and that they were genuinely happy together, and he had a problem with it. Tanya was his first wife and not ever had he planned on losing her to someone else. He’d never planned on her sleeping with someone else while they were still married. How dare she do that to him. How dare she break her marital vows like they were nothing. Yes, he’d done the same thing, but the difference was he would never have left her for anyone. He’d planned on being married to her for the rest of his natural life. He knew they’d had problems, but what couple didn’t?

  Curtis turned the TV to the Disney Channel and left it there. He didn’t know what channels his son enjoyed watching, but Disney had to be one of them.

  He felt like loosening his tie, but he wanted to impress Matthew. He’d removed his jacket, but he still wanted to look fairly dressed up. Curtis couldn’t wait to take Matthew to his tailor, too, and have him fitted for a couple of suits. He was only five, but he deserved the best of everything. Curtis wanted him to learn at an early age the difference between quality and the lack thereof. He never wanted Matthew to go without anything. He didn’t want his son living the way he once had.

  He heard the doorbell and took a deep breath. He walked over to the door and opened it.

  “Hello, my name is Matthew,” the boy said, reaching out his hand to shake Curtis’s and stepping into the condo. “What’s yours?”

  “Curtis Black.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Black.”

  “Well, it’s good to meet you, too, Matthew.”

  “How are you?” Charlotte said, hugging Curtis.

  “I’m good. Both of you come in and have a seat. I think I’ve got on the Disney Channel, but you can watch whatever you want, Matthew.”

  “Okay,” he said, dropping down on the floor as close to the television as possible.

  Curtis and Charlotte sat down on the sectional. “He’s the most handsome little thing I’ve ever seen,” Curtis said.

  “I told you he looks just like you.”

  “I just can’t believe he’s right here in the same room with me. Right here with both of us.”

  “Look, Mommy, that’s the remote control truck I asked Paw Paw to get for me,” Matthew said, pointing at a commercial.

  “I know, sweetie,” Charlotte acknowledged.

  “Who’s Paw Paw?” Curtis asked her. “Your dad?”

  “Yeah, that’s what Matthew calls him, and he calls my mom Nana.”

  “Oh,” Curtis said, not able to take his eyes off the miniature “him” sitting just a few feet away.

  “So who did you tell him I was?” Curtis spoke softly.

  “I told him you were someone real special and that you wanted us to come visit you. But that’s it.”

  “Man,” Curtis said, blinking back tears.

  “It’s five years later, but you’re still a proud father, aren’t you?”

  “That I am. And I’m so sorry I missed so much of his life. But as God is my witness, I won’t miss any more of it. Not as long as I’m alive.”

  Matthew turned around when the credits rolled for the program he’d been watching.

  “Mr. Black, can we turn to the Cartoon Network?”

  “Of course,” Curtis said. “But you’ll have to tell me what channel.”

  “On our TV it’s one seventy-six.

  “We have Dish Network,” Charlotte added.

  “I think that’s the same satellite system on this one, too.”

  Curtis switched it to the channel his son told him.

  “Thank you,” Matthew said.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “So are you sure this is what you want?” Charlotte asked him again.

  “Yes. I’m positive.”

  “Matthew, sweetie,” she said. “Come sit up here for a minute.”

  Matthew stood, walked over to the sofa, and sat between his parents. He looke
d at his mother, clearly wondering what she wanted.

  “Honey, remember when you asked me if you had a dad?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “And I told you that you did, but that I hadn’t seen him in a long time?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, sweetie, this is your father,” she said, pointing at Curtis.

  Matthew looked at Curtis but turned away, blushing. “He is?”

  “Yes. He’s your dad.”

  “I always wanted a dad,” Matthew said, looking at Curtis. “Just like all my friends.”

  “Well, now you have one,” Curtis said, tears dripping from his eyes.

  “Why are you crying?” Matthew wanted to know.

  “Because I’m so happy to see you.”

  “Oh,” Matthew said, looking back at his mother, smiling.

  “Why don’t you give your dad a hug,” Charlotte told him.

  Matthew reached toward Curtis, and Curtis squeezed him extra tight, trying to recapture all the lost years. He didn’t want to let go of his little boy.

  But when he did, Matthew asked him a question.

  “So does this mean I can call you Dad?”

  “That’s exactly what it means,” Curtis answered.

  “And does it mean you’re going to take me to baseball games this summer just like my friend Terrance’s father does?”

  “Yes, if that’s what you want.” Curtis had never gone to see the White Sox or the Cubs, but he was going to see what tickets he could get tomorrow.

  “Do you want to play my Game Boy with me?” Matthew wanted to know.

  “Yeah, but you’ll have to show me how.”

  “Mommy, can I see it?”

  Charlotte pulled out the purple Game Boy from her purse and gave it to him.

  “It’s Super Mario, and I’m real good at it,” Matthew boasted.

  Curtis looked at Charlotte and said, “Thank you.”

  “No, thank you. My baby really needed his father.”

  Curtis and Matthew talked about what he liked, what he didn’t like, his friends, what he wanted for his birthday, and the fact that he loved school but always got in trouble for talking too much. He told Curtis that preschool was kind of boring, and that he couldn’t wait to be in kindergarten this fall.

  They talked about a lot of things and Matthew tried to teach Curtis how to play Super Mario. Curtis still didn’t quite have it, but Matthew told him he’d get better and better every time he played.

  When it was half past nine, Curtis told Charlotte he wanted to talk to her.

  “Sweetie, I need to talk to your dad, so we’ll be right back, okay?”

  “Okay,” Matthew said without looking up from his game.

  Curtis and Charlotte walked into Tyler’s master bedroom. Curtis pulled Charlotte toward him and held her.

  “I’m speechless,” he said. “For the first time in my life I really don’t know what to say.”

  “Just say you’re going to do everything you can to make us a family as soon as possible.”

  “There’s no doubt about that. Mariah and I haven’t spoken much over the last few days, but I’m going to apologize to her and tell her that I think it would be best if we end our marriage. And if everything goes okay, maybe she’ll go with me before the deacons when I tell them.”

  “How long do you think this will take?”

  “I don’t know, but after seeing that beautiful little boy out there, it won’t be long. But I don’t want to push Mariah, so you’ve at least got to give me a month to work this out with her and the church.”

  “That’s not a problem.”

  “You know, you’ve really done a wonderful job with him. He’s such a good kid, and he’s so outgoing. And he has a whole lot to say, too.”

  “Well, I wonder where he got that from?”

  They both laughed.

  “So when are you going to tell your parents?” Curtis asked.

  “Not until you and Mariah have filed for a divorce. My father is going to be angry no matter what, but if he knows that you really are going to marry me, it will definitely soften the blow. My mom will be upset, too, but she’ll be fine with it in the long run.”

  “Do you think Matthew is going to say anything?”

  “I’m going to tell him not to, but you still need to be prepared just in case.”

  “This is going to be a tough road for all of us, but Matthew is the person we have to keep happy.”

  “I agree.”

  Curtis tilted her chin upward and kissed her. They kissed intensely, and while Curtis couldn’t say he was in love with her, his feelings for her were a lot stronger than a few hours ago. He couldn’t explain it, but there was a certain love he had for her because she was the mother of his son. He felt connected to her.

  “I don’t know if you’ll ever love me the way I want to be loved,” she said as if she was reading his mind. “But even if you don’t, my main concern is Matthew. I want him to know what it’s like to grow up with both his parents, I want him to be loved, and I want him to have every opportunity in life we can give him.”

  “Trust me when I tell you that you won’t ever have to worry about his well-being. I realize I just met him, but I love him from the bottom of my heart.”

  “I’m really glad to hear that.”

  When they walked out of the bedroom, Charlotte told Matthew it was time to go.

  “Do we have to, Mom?”

  “Yes, because it’s way past your bedtime, young man.”

  “I’m sorry for keeping you here so late, Matthew, but it was good to finally see you,” Curtis said.

  “It was good to see you, too, Dad.”

  “Can you give me another big hug?” Curtis leaned down and held him closely. “I love you, son.”

  “I love you, too,” Matthew said, but Curtis knew he was probably only saying it because he thought he should. Which was fine, because Curtis would accept those words any way he could get them.

  “Let me walk you guys out,” he said, opening the door.

  Matthew climbed into the backseat of Charlotte’s car and buckled his seat belt. Charlotte pecked Curtis on the lips and told him she would call him tomorrow.

  He watched them drive away. They were hardly out of sight when Adrienne blasted into the driveway.

  Curtis jumped onto the grass.

  She jumped out of her car, leaving the door open.

  “Why, Curtis? Why couldn’t you just leave me alone?”

  “Look, Adrienne, I can explain. It’s not what you think.”

  “It’s not what I think? What the hell do you mean, it’s not what I think?”

  “It’s not.”

  “First you lie to me about being at the church tonight, and then I come over here and find that girl Charlotte walking out with you and your son. Because I know you don’t think I’ve forgotten what she looks like.”

  “No, but, Adrienne, I had to see him. But I didn’t have sex with her if that’s what you’re thinking. I just wanted to see my son, and I couldn’t tell her no when she called to say I could see him.”

  “You think I’m a fool, don’t you? You think I’m the same fool I was the last time we were together?”

  “No, I don’t. And if you come inside with me, I’ll explain everything to you,” he said, hoping he could make her believe him.

  “I’m not coming anywhere, Curtis,” she screamed. “You make me sick. I hate that I ever even met you, and I’m not about to let you get away with this. If it means my life, I’m going to make sure you never hurt another woman ever again.”

  “Adrienne, please,” he said, looking around to see if any neighbors had their doors open.

  “No. Just leave me alone,” she said, walking back to her car.

  Curtis followed her and grabbed her arm.

  “Don’t.” She spoke deep from her throat. “Don’t . . . you . . . ever . . . try . . . to . . . touch . . . me . . . again.”

  “Baby, you’re really blowing t
his way out of proportion.”

  “No. I’m not. I saw what I saw, and no matter what you say, I know you’ve been sleeping with that girl. You probably had to in order to see your son.”

  Curtis didn’t say anything.

  “And just a couple of days ago I gave you ample opportunity to tell me if you wanted out, but you lied the same as always.”

  “That’s because I—” he tried to get a word in.

  “Just save it, Curtis,” she interrupted. “Save it for someone who truly gives a damn.”

  “Adrienne, all I’m asking you to do is come in for a few minutes,” he tried again.

  “You know, Curtis,” she said, ignoring his plea. “People get killed for less than this every day. So if I were you, I would be very careful. I would watch every single thing I did, and I would pay real close attention to my surroundings.”

  She got back inside her car and drove away at normal speed, acting as though nothing had happened.

  Curtis stood there for a few minutes, wishing she hadn’t followed him. He’d known she was capable of it, but he’d been so caught up in the excitement of meeting Matthew, his judgment had become cloudy.

  He wasn’t sure if he should take Adrienne’s threats seriously or not, but either way, their relationship was over. He hadn’t wanted it to end this way, but at least she was one problem he no longer had to deal with.

  So now all he had to do was handle Mariah.

  Chapter 23

  Right after leaving the church, Mariah had driven home, done a Pilates tape, and taken a hot bath in the Jacuzzi. But now she was leaning against a stack of king-size pillows reading the Tribune. She was also wondering where Curtis was and who he was with.

  She was so tired of shedding tears, tired of living in fear, tired of being married to him. Which was why she’d decided tonight that she wasn’t going to take it anymore. She wasn’t going to keep pretending. Not about their happiness or about Curtis being a true man of God.

  It was time she told Vivian.