Heartbeat

by Belinda Williams

  I smiled to myself. “Yes, I did.”

  Two months later, Prior Chaos, which was what they were called, released another song. By then I was finished performing on Broadway and was training with Gavin, who was a scary looking personal trainer. He’d been hired to turn me into a killing machine for my upcoming action movie.

  “Ow!” I completely missed the punched he’d thrown at me.

  “Shit, Chloe! Sorry! I thought you were ready.”

  I rubbed my shoulder. Well, that was going to bruise. “It’s OK. I got distracted. Can you turn it up?”

  I’d recognize Gabe’s voice anywhere. This time the song was about not being good enough. It was called Yesterday’s Man.

  “Hey, you used to go out with the lead singer, didn’t you?” Gavin asked. “Did you know he was this good?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  Their third single was released while I was in Prague filming the action movie. I was having my make-up done. Not just any make-up. The last hour had been spent making it look like I’d just been in a fistfight. When I heard Gabe’s voice in the background, I turned my head in the direction of the speaker.

  Sasha, the make-up artist, swore.

  I cringed. “Sorry. Can you turn it up?”

  This song was about betrayal and loss of faith. It was called The Game. No guesses who this one was about.

  “Oh, wow. Do you think he’s singing about his old bandmate?” Sasha asked.

  I shrugged.

  “He’s really good, isn’t he?”

  “He is.”

  Later that week, Damon messaged me to tell me I was coming to their first concert in three months time. It was back home in LA and the idea was to test the waters to see if there was enough interest for a longer tour. The first two concerts had sold out and they had just released dates for a third.

  I blinked when he sent me the date. I messaged him.

  That’s my birthday.

  D: Yeah, I know.

  What if I’ve got plans?

  D: You have. You’re coming to the concert. We got you a box with room for your friends. Happy birthday ;)

  I WAS QUIET ON THE journey from the Hollywood Hills. As we neared the edge of Griffith Park and the Greek Theater, where Gabe’s concert was to be held, I toyed with the zip on my leather jacket. The early spring evenings were still cool, so I’d gone rock-chick tonight with matching leather pants and the bright red top I’d worn for Gypsy Hour’s video last year.

  Last year. Gosh, had it been that long? It was almost nine months since I’d seen Gabe. It felt like a lifetime yet my hectic work schedule had kept me busy. Everything was different yet still the same. I still loved him. I hadn’t met the ‘man of my dreams’ I’d joked about, because I suspected I already had.

  “You need another drink,” Faith informed me. She started pouring me a champagne but I shook my head.

  “Please, no more. I feel sick already.” My stomach was churning from the first glass and I felt light-headed.

  Faith shrugged and sipped from the glass herself.

  Mama, who was sitting beside her, gestured to it. “Give me that. I need something to calm my nerves.”

  I smiled as Faith passed the glass to Mama and watched as she threw half of it down in one mouthful. She was so nervous about Damon’s first show tonight and so incredibly proud, too.

  Lena reached over and squeezed my leg. “Nervous?”

  “Nervous doesn’t really cover it,” I admitted. Of course I was nervous, but it was about more than Damon, and they all knew it. “Thank you so much for all coming with me tonight.”

  Ally’s warm brown eyes met mine. “Are you kidding? We wouldn’t miss it, would we Jake? Plus, it’s your birthday.” Ally’s boyfriend, Jake, was seated up the other end of the limousine talking quietly to Lena’s boyfriend, Marc. He grinned at me and Marc raised a hand in a salute.

  Faith poured herself another glass. “Don’t remind me. It means I’m another year older, too.”

  Mama patted Faith’s hand in sympathy.

  I inhaled a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself. “Well, it means a lot to me to have everyone here.”

  Driving to the theater together had been a good choice. If I’d been alone, I might have lost the courage to attend. No, that wasn’t fair. This was Damon’s big night too, and he needed my support.

  I wondered what the band was feeling now. Nervous? Excited? Probably all that and more. This was a huge deal for all of them, but particularly Gabe. It was his chance to prove himself as a performer now he was no longer in the shadow of Gypsy Hour.

  Despite all that, I couldn’t help but wonder. I’d said I’d wait for him until my birthday and now it was here. Would I get to see Gabe tonight after the concert to talk to him? Was the time away what he had needed or had I made a horrible mistake? I spent the rest of the drive in a state of anxiety that rivaled any pre-performance stage fright I’d ever experienced.

  Most of the seats were already taken by the time our security team led us to our box. We’d deliberately missed the two support acts and had timed our arrival for when Prior Chaos were almost ready to begin. Murmuring and excited chatter broke out when the audience saw us. The theater wasn’t a stadium and only seated about six thousand people, which meant our little party was in full view for everyone to see.

  I gaped when we arrived at our box.

  “Miz Thompson!”

  Dina Thompson rose from her seat and held her arms open. “That’s Dina for you, Miz Chloe Kemp.”

  I giggled with joy and stepped into her arms for a big hug. When she released me, I looked at her outfit. “You look amazing.”

  Dina smoothed the sparkly black dress with pride. “So I may have let my boy treat me to a new frock, but don’t tell anyone now, will you?”

  I grinned. “I’d say you totally deserve it.”

  Dina shooed me away and her eyes went wide as she made room for the rest of our little party in the box. I introduced Dina as Gabe’s foster mom and saw Mama’s eyes narrow with interest. We were getting along much better these days but I hadn’t told Mama much about the reasons behind my breakup with Gabe, and she’d been careful to respect my privacy. Mama took the seat next to Dina’s and I hid a smile. Mama might be giving me my space, but that wouldn’t stop her from charming Dina to learn more about Gabe. Some habits were too hard to break, but I knew Dina was more than capable of handling my dear Southern mama.

  I sat down next to my girlfriends. I had to admit it was a great location. The open-air theater was bordered by the towering trees of the extensive parklands and the cool night air held a sense of expectation. There was a certain quality about seeing a show outside that made it feel more immediate and real.

  “Smile for the cameras,” Faith whispered in my ear.

  “Thanks for reminding me.” I’d hardly forgotten.

  It was a relief when the lights onstage dimmed and we were thrown into darkness. My capacity for small talk was at an all-time low and my belly clenched uncomfortably. Maybe the tight leather pants were a bad idea.

  The audience fell quiet. Like me, they were waiting to find out if this new band could compare to Gypsy Hour’s former success.

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” I whispered in Faith’s ear.

  She nudged my shoulder. “Have a little faith.”

  In a flash of light, the first chords of the show reverberated around us, and the bass and drums hit me in the stomach. The song was brave and unapologetic and in an instant I forgot everything, including myself.

  Gabe stood behind the microphone, his guitar slung casually over his hip like it belonged there. His deep vocals echoed into the night, casting a spell over us. Because that’s what he was—spellbinding. Oh, he was no Johnnie and he never would be. Right now, Johnnie would be prancing around stage. Instead Gabe stood like a soldier poised for battle. All eyes were on him, and with every note he sang he captured our attention with the intensity of his voice, an intensity that hummed t
hrough him, challenging and drawing us in, and we couldn’t help but be captivated.

  “Damn,” Faith said. “He’s good. They’re all good.”

  She was right. Damon, my little brother, was pounding the drums with a ferocity that belied the big, stupid grin on his face because he was having the absolute best time of his life. Emilio swayed to the bass line, cool as ever, and I knew he was where he wanted to be too.

  By the second song, Gabe had us in the palm of his hand. The music was raw, energetic, and tinged with heartache in a way that Gypsy Hour’s songs had never been. It took our breath away.

  Almost an hour and a half passed and I barely noticed. When Gabe wasn’t singing, he was sharing with us the meanings behind the new songs, talking to the audience in a way that made us feel we were at a bar sharing a beer instead of with thousands of other people.

  “So this next one’s a love song,” Gabe told us, and grimaced, making the audience laugh. “Yeah, you might have gathered I’m not really the love song type. I’ve been known to keep my feelings to myself. Anyway, it’s a new song and we’re debuting it here tonight.”

  Expectant conversation rippled through the crowd.

  Gabe held a hand up. “Yeah, don’t get too excited. We’re still kind of working on this one and it needs female vocals because we wrote it as a duet.”

  Gabe let that last comment settle on the crowd. The murmuring intensified and he waved his hand to get our attention again. “So we’re going to need a volunteer. If you’re a dude, forget it. That includes any badass falsetto you got going on after one or two beers—forget it man. So, ladies . . . ”

  The hum of the audience turned melodic and high-pitched as all the women spoke in hushed tones to their friends.

  “Now, problem is, I’m going to be kind of picky. Working with Johnnie Walsh for too many years has made his prima donna ways rub off.”

  The audience laughed.

  Gabe grinned and my heart filled with joy at the sight of it. “Yeah, he’s such a prima donna he couldn’t let us make our big debut without him . . . so guess who’s here tonight?”

  The crowd screamed as Johnnie strode onto the stage and waved his inked arms in greeting. He took Gabe’s microphone.

  “Now, ladies.” He gave us a wicked grin. “Are you enjoying yourselves?”

  A roar erupted and carried into the night.

  “Fuck yeah,” Johnnie yelled. “So, this lady we’re after. She can sing. Naturally she’s gorgeous, talented and Gabe tells me kind of dirty sweet.” He wiggled his eyebrows and women starting calling out, whistling, anything they could do, to get his attention.

  “Holy shit,” Faith muttered.

  I didn’t see her expression because I was too busy concentrating on Gabe. His eyes locked onto mine and the sound of the audience became distant. Gabe rescued the microphone from Johnnie, not taking his eyes off me.

  “So this lady. She’s patient. The kind of woman you want standing by your side, you know? Except she hasn’t been by my side for going on nine months now and that’s my fault because I’m a dick.”

  A drunken woman called out something explicit about Gabe’s dick and he gave us a lopsided smile. “Yeah, sorry, I’ll have to pass on your generous offer because I’ve already got a particular lady in mind for this song, and I’m pretty sure she knows who she is.”

  Simultaneously everyone in the entire audience turned toward our box.

  Faith repeated her oath.

  People started calling out my name. Chloe. Chloe. Chloe!

  It became a chant with a rhythm. Chloe, clap, clap, stamp. Chloe, clap, clap, stamp.

  Chapter 49

  “So, Chloe?” Gabe called out. “No pressure or anything.”

  The crowd burst out laughing.

  Gabe swallowed. He radiated calm but I knew him. Inside he was as wound up as I was. I knew this public declaration was hard for him. Harder than anyone could know. He’d learned young to hide his feelings to survive and now he was putting them on display for thousands of people who could potentially judge and ridicule him.

  “What do you say? Would you do me the pleasure of joining me onstage?”

  I put my face in my hands, terrified and overjoyed at the same time, my cheeks so flushed I could feel them throbbing with heat. After a second, I removed my hands and saw Johnnie striding up the stairs to our box.

  Women reached for him as he walked past and he grinned and held out his palms to touch their fingers as he went, but he didn’t let it slow him down.

  He arrived in front of our box. “Ms Kemp. I’ll be your escort for the evening.”

  Faith snorted beside me and Johnnie stuck out his tongue at her, wiggling it in an indecent manner.

  I nodded and stood up, my legs shaking. Johnnie’s tongue disappeared and he became the picture of a perfect gentleman. He rested a guiding hand on my waist as we navigated the stairs down to the stage, not letting me sway or trip. He helped me onstage and only let go when we arrived in front of Gabe.

  Gabe gestured to a stool next to his microphone stand. “Take a seat.”

  The applause was deafening as I sat down. A lifetime in Hollywood couldn’t have prepared me for this moment.

  Gabe sat down on a stool next to me and adjusted his guitar. “So, ah, I wrote this one for you.”

  The cheering intensified but somehow the sound of it faded and the only thing I could see or hear was him.

  “When I met this young woman you see sitting before you tonight, she’d just turned twenty-one. Goes without saying she’s gorgeous, but it was her attitude that caught my attention. If you ever want someone on your side, then I’m telling you, you want Chloe Kemp. Her detractors call it ‘naïve optimism’ but that’s where they’re wrong. Chloe’s optimism is all that’s good in this world and we need more people like her to cheer us on, believe in us and give us hope when times get tough.”

  I swiped at a couple of tears that escaped but didn’t take my eyes of him.

  “As you may have heard, I didn’t have a whole lot of that when I was growing up. Everyone around me wanted to beat me down and see me fail. Not Chloe. Don’t let her optimism fool you. She’s tough. She almost lost her brother last year—this talented man behind the drums you see tonight—and she fought for him.”

  The crowd roared in support and I let myself take my eyes off Gabe for a second to glance back at Damon. He gave me the thumbs up, like sitting behind the drums in front of a massive crowd was the most natural place for him to be, which maybe it was. I shook my head at him and he blew me a kiss, making some of the women squeal. Hang on, maybe there’d been a few guys in there, too . . .

  Gabe waited for the noise to settle down. “She fought for me too. She believed I could do what I’m doing here tonight. But to do that, she had to walk away and let me figure myself out. I’ve had plenty of people give up on me in my lifetime, but not like this. This wasn’t giving up. It was the most unselfish gift I’ve ever been given. She’s trusted me with her heart these past nine months with the sort of faith that makes a man think he can do anything.”

  He turned his attention to his guitar and played several bars of a song I’d never heard before. I listened, rapt, and so did the crowd.

  Gabe stopped playing and looked at me. “So, I wrote this for you, Chloe. Will you do the honor of accompanying me on vocals?”

  I nodded and sniffed, wiping away more stray tears. I wasn’t capable of speech and I had no idea how I was going to sing, but for Gabe I’d do anything.

  He covered the microphone with his hand. “Repeat after me during the verse, but when you sing the line reverse it, so ‘you’ becomes ‘I’ and vice versa. I’ll take the chorus and bridge. Can you do that?”

  I nodded again.

  He uncovered the microphone and gave the audience a disarming grin. “Oh, and thanks for joining me up here, Chloe. Fuck knows what I would have done if you’d said no.”

  A laugh burst forth from my mouth, joyous and happy, and he winke
d at me while the audience cheered.

  His gray eyes turned serious. “I’ve missed you, gorgeous.”

  His fingers began moving over the strings of the acoustic guitar, plucking a melody that sounded like home. He smiled at me then began singing, ignoring the crowd in front of us, focusing only on me.

  Can you hear my voice?

  (I can hear your voice)

  Are you still there?

  (I’m still here)

  Since you walked away

  (Since I walked away)

  My heart’s been yours to keep

  (Your heart is mine to keep)

  And I count every single

  Heartbeat

  Until you’re here

  In my arms

  I’ll listen for your

  Heartbeat

  I’m not the man

  (You’re not the man)

  I once was

  (You once were)

  I can be more than that

  (You can be more than that)

  You taught me how

  (I taught you how)

  Still I count every single

  Heartbeat

  Until you’re here

  In my arms

  I’ll listen for your

  Heartbeat

  You said you knew

  (I said I knew)

  And here I am

  (Here you are)

  It’s true

  (It’s true)

  I love you

  I was unable to sing after Gabe’s last words, and I sat on the stool with tears streaming down my cheeks listening to the rest of the beautiful song he’d written for me.

  And I count every single

  Heartbeat

  Now you’re here

  In my arms

  I’ll listen to your

  Heartbeat

  With every beat, I hear what I need to know

  Wherever you are, no matter how far you go

  The steady rhythm

  For long as I keep living

  I’ll be listening to your

  Heartbeat

  When the crowd stood to cheer at the end, Gabe lifted the guitar over his head. “What do you think?” he asked the audience. “Too sappy?”