Songbird

by Jamie Campbell

  I dreaded looking under the covers but it had to be done. If we slept together, I needed to know. I closed my eyes, held up the covers and opened them again.

  I was still wearing my clothes. So was Forest. So we hadn’t done anything stupid, only got blind drunk. That was a relief. I just wished I could remember everything. I wasn’t sure if there was anything I needed to be embarrassed about. Hopefully if there was, Forest would have just as many things to be concerned about.

  My next reason to panic struck me. If my alarm had just gone off, Demi’s would have gone off half an hour ago. It wouldn’t be long before she was banging on my door and demanding I let her in so we could have breakfast together. She was more predictable than my alarm.

  “Forest, wake up,” I said urgently, shaking him at the same time. It didn’t matter how adorable he looked sleeping peacefully, he needed to get the hell out of there. “Forest, come on.”

  He mumbled in reply so I started shaking harder. I didn’t stop until he opened his eyes and blinked. “Brierly?”

  “Yeah. You need to get out of here. Like, right now.” He sat up, wiping his face to get everything in focus. I didn’t have time for that. “Demi will be here any second, you have to leave. Quickly. Now.”

  I pushed him out of the bed, not allowing him any of the time he wanted. When he eventually stood, I raced around the bed to make sure he would continue moving toward the exit.

  A knock on the door interrupted my efforts. I shot over, seeing Demi’s happy face in the peephole. “Hide,” I ordered Forest. It was our only option now.

  He knitted his brows in confusion, I don’t think he was entirely awake. I pushed him toward the bathroom.

  “We didn’t do anything, why are you making me hide?” Forest asked sleepily.

  “Because Demi will think we did do something.”

  “But we didn’t.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked, glad to at least hear he didn’t think we slept together either. Hopefully he wasn’t as fuzzy on the details as I was. Or did I want him to be? Perhaps if we both couldn’t remember, it would be better.

  “Of course I’m sure,” Forest replied gruffly.

  “Just wait here,” I urged. I didn’t have time for a big conversation. Not when Demi was pounding on the door and just moments away from calling the concierge to let her in. I left Forest there and prayed he would take the hint and stay hidden.

  “Demi, good morning,” I said as I swung open the door. Hopefully she wouldn’t notice I was still wearing last night’s clothes. “I was in the bathroom, sorry.”

  She looked me up and down, I tried desperately not to look as guilty as I felt. “You don’t look so crash hot. Please tell me you’re not getting sick on the third day of the tour?”

  “I’m not sick, just tired. And hungry, shall we get some breakfast?”

  “I suppose-” I cut her off as I grabbed the key and left the room, guiding her down the hall as quickly as possible. We got to the lift and hit the call button. The second the elevator arrived, I pushed Demi inside.

  “I forgot something, I’ll meet you down there,” I said as the doors closed. They said timing was everything in this business and I hoped it would apply to my personal life too.

  I hurried back to the room and let myself in, just as Forest was sitting on the bed putting his shoes on. “I’m really sorry I woke you up. And made you hide.”

  He shoved his foot into his boot a little harder than was necessary. “Why are you so ashamed to be seen with me?”

  “I don’t know, I guess I just-”

  He stood, putting up a hand to stop me. “You know what? Don’t worry about it. You’ve made it quite clear that you don’t want anything to do with me and I keep pushing the point. See you on the bus.”

  He left before I could say anything else. Forest was probably the one guy in the world that I didn’t want to hurt but it seemed like I was. And I was doing the whole thing just to protect myself. It wasn’t fair to him.

  I knew then and there that I had a decision to make. I either had to completely leave him alone, or do something about my feelings. I needed to be in or out, none of this sitting on the fence business that was nothing but selfish. Forest didn’t deserve that.

  He was still the sole focus on my mind when we were barreling down the highway after breakfast. So far, I thought I was doing a good job of covering it, especially with Demi. She didn’t notice how strange I was acting during our pancakes, just went on about the itinerary and guest requests I had received. It seemed like my promotions team were doing a good job of drumming up publicity for the concerts.

  Forest sat at the other end of the bus. He had his ear buds in and was lost in his own world as he read a book. Every part of his body language said to leave him alone. Even his fellow band mates were staying away.

  Perhaps it was just a hangover, maybe he was just nursing the after effects of the alcohol. As much as I wanted to believe that, I couldn’t. I had made him angry and now he was upset with me. I needed to fix it and I needed to do it soon.

  The next week passed by in a blur. We did shows every night with little incident. During the day we travelled from town to town and I would do interviews if time permitted. It became so busy that I didn’t get a chance to talk with Forest. Which kind of seemed like a good thing. We hadn’t had any more late night meetings – probably because the pace was making everyone exhausted – and we could speak to each other without arguing.

  That week didn’t help me come to a decision about Forest but it felt like I didn’t have to anymore. We were friends, it was comfortable, we could get through the entire tour like that. I was certain we had turned a corner.

  For the first time since we started the tour, everyone was getting a full afternoon off. We were in Washington D.C. and the stage was quite elaborate at the venue. It was going to take the crew extra time to set up so I had a whole night off to myself. The tour bus had been abuzz with everyone’s plans. Mostly they involved doing laundry and going out to dinner.

  I didn’t want to waste my free time, it was too hard to come by. I had plans to see the sights and I wasn’t going to be disappointed.

  We were dropped off at the hotel with our ticket to freedom. I passed Forest in the corridor, he didn’t seem to be with his band mates. “What are you doing this afternoon?” I asked, trying to make conversation but also genuinely curious about what he had planned.

  “I was thinking of checking out a museum or something. What about you?”

  “I’m going to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. I’m kind of a nerd for space stuff,” I confessed. The sad fact was that it was true. Give me a rocket or a spacesuit and I’d spend hours imagining all the cool things it had done. If that got out to the media, I would never hear the end of it.

  “That’s where I wanted to go. Do you feel like some company?” He looked at me with those dark brown eyes and there was no way I could refuse.

  “Do you promise to keep my secret?”

  “Of course. I’m a bit of a science nerd myself.”

  Forest, a science nerd? I didn’t see it. Although, he would look extremely sexy in some dark rimmed glasses – Superman style. “Let’s go then.”

  Chapter Nine

  We caught a cab to the museum. Most of the tourists were already inside so the queue was only small. Within minutes we were wandering around the huge rooms of the Smithsonian museum, our eyes boggling out of our heads.

  The place was amazing to say the least. A real spaceship hung from the roof in all its glory. I tried to contain my excitement but the eight year old inside that salivated over that stuff kept managing to escape.

  “I can’t believe I’m standing in the middle of a real rocket,” I gasped, touching the walls to make sure it was real. “This thing has been to space.”

  Forest laughed. “Do you want a photo?” I nodded eagerly and handed over my iPhone. I stood in the spaceship like I was an astronaut just hanging around. Forest snapped some pics.
They wouldn’t make it onto Twitter but would be included in my private collection. “Your turn.”

  I did the same for Forest, he hammed it up for the camera. I thought I may have found a guy that was even nerdier than myself. I was seeing a whole new side of the guy and I liked him even more than I did before.

  Every room of the museum was even better than the previous one. Forest loved the airplanes more than the shuttles but they were cool too. I had seen enough airplanes for a lifetime, but it was still nice seeing the old ones. I couldn’t believe people actually trusted them enough to get inside them. Those two-seaters were definitely not for me.

  “I’ve always wanted to get my pilot’s license,” Forest declared at a stand for the Wright brothers.

  “Why don’t you?”

  He shrugged. “I guess I never thought I could.”

  “Why not?” I asked. Forest didn’t really strike me as the type who would let his ego stop him from doing anything. Not after I saw his audition for the tour. He was the most self assured guitarist that had played for us. And we had seen a lot of performers.

  “Something someone said one time,” he muttered before wandering over and engrossing himself in another display. It didn’t seem like the topic was open for discussion so I left it alone. If it was something he wanted to talk about, then I guessed he would.

  The longer we spent there, the more people started to notice my presence. I was trying my best to stay to myself, but it only took a few people looking twice to recognize me. Once one person asked for a photo or an autograph, it gave everyone the courage to do the same.

  Normally I didn’t mind stopping for fans. They were the reason why I had my career and I always promised to not forget that. Sometimes I would spend hours signing for them, often way longer than I was scheduled to.

  However, this was my one afternoon off. I wouldn’t get another one for weeks and I just wanted to see the museum. For just a few hours, I wanted to be normal and enjoy being a tourist in the city.

  The number of people approaching was starting to get overwhelming. I didn’t bring security with me because I didn’t think anyone would pay attention to me. Apparently I was wrong.

  The amount of teenagers and adults alike swarming around me was starting to make it difficult to move – let alone breathe. “Can everyone just take a step back? We can’t take any photos so squished together,” I asked politely. It was starting to get really hot in the crush. I couldn’t see a way out, no matter which way I turned.

  I knew they all meant well but they were suffocating me. I could have spent four hours there and they wouldn’t have got everything they wanted.

  A strong hand gripped my arm and pulled me away. Fearing it was a crazed fan, I resisted. I didn’t want to be dragged to some dark place by someone who wanted me all to themselves. I had heard some terrible stories from my friends back in L.A.

  “Come on, I’m getting you out of here,” Forest whispered when he got close enough. I relaxed when I realized it was his hand clamped around me. He could drag me away – gladly.

  I apologized to everyone as we moved. Forest’s pace was fast, too fast to be able to be stopped again. I didn’t care where he was taking me, as long as it was somewhere I could breathe again.

  The sunshine outside assaulted my eyes as we slipped out an emergency exit, I had to squint several times to be able to see.

  “Mind the steps,” Forest warned. Clearly I looked just as dazed as I felt. He led me down the stairs until we were level with the street. But he didn’t stop there. We turned left and hurried along the road. People were looking at us, some were still following me. I ignored them, hoping my fans would understand.

  “Close your eyes,” Forest ordered me. I obeyed, despite how difficult it was walking without seeing where I was going. He guided me well but it was still disorientating. It felt like I was going to trip over at any moment.

  The sounds of cars were to my right, whizzing by at speed. We stopped for a moment until the beeping of a crossing light started. We kept on walking again.

  I couldn’t say how far we walked, it felt like ages but I’m sure it wasn’t that long. Forest stopped me and my next thought was that there was no noise anymore. Everything was deathly quiet. Where in the world were we?

  “Please tell me you haven’t kidnapped me and we’re standing in the middle of an abandoned warehouse,” I said bluntly, hoping I was only joking. If I opened my eyes and saw that’s where we were, I would probably freak out. Even if I did trust Forest.

  “Open your eyes and see for yourself.”

  I was afraid to, but curiosity got the best of me. I opened my eyes and took in our surroundings. It wasn’t a dank and depressing warehouse. Instead, we were standing in the middle of a perfect garden. Flowers cascaded down from archways, shrubs were clipped into perfect formation, and sculptures were beautifully placed amongst it all. I spun around, trying to take it all in.

  “Where is this?” I asked. I was sure we couldn’t have walked out of the city and yet this place was an oasis. Maybe it was a mirage?

  “We’re in the First Lady’s Garden,” Forest replied, smiling.

  “We’re in the White House?”

  He laughed, obviously at my ineptitude. “No, we’re just a block from the Smithsonian. This is her public garden where anyone can come and visit. It’s supposed to be a place of calm and relaxation.” Those two words described the place perfectly. It felt like a world away from the scrum of people in the museum. This was definitely a place where I could breathe.

  The colors of the flowers were amazing, so vibrant and bright. There was every type you could imagine from the happy snapdragons to the classic roses. “This place is beautiful.”

  “I thought you’d like it.”

  “How do you even know about it?”

  I couldn’t be sure, but he might have been blushing a little. “I brought my mom here once. She went nuts over the place.”

  Forest as a momma’s boy? I couldn’t quite see it. I started wandering, unable to stay in the one place when there was so much to see. We strolled through the paths, trying to take everything in along the way. I took out my iPhone and started snapping away. The photos couldn’t quite capture all the hues in the flowers, but it was enough to trigger my memory later on.

  In amongst the flowers and pathways was a checkerboard made out of pavers. A stack of wooden checkers were to one side.

  “Want to play?” I asked. I had always been good at checkers, I got enough practice on long flights and waiting around for media. I could even beat my computer.

  Forest had to think about it, his eyes twinkled with mischief by the time he actually replied. “Sure. But let’s make it interesting.” I raised an eyebrow at him, how could you make checkers interesting? He was going to have to explain. “The winner gets whatever they want.”

  “That’s a bit ambiguous.”

  “Okay, you go first then. What do you want if you win?”

  A flash of images filled my mind, all things I shouldn’t be thinking about. I was glad Forest couldn’t read my mind, otherwise he would see himself in several compromising positions.

  I needed an answer, one that didn’t have an R rating. I wished it wasn’t so hot in the garden, I needed something to cool me down and not foster those thoughts. “If I win, you can buy me dinner tonight.”

  “Okay,” Forest replied before a smirk spread across his face. I dreaded what he was going to put down as his prize. “If I win, I want a kiss. Not just any kiss, one of my choosing.”

  There were different types of kisses? Clearly I had been doing it wrong all those years. The chances of me winning was high and the chances of me not enjoying the kiss if Forest won were low. It was a win-win situation. “Agreed. Let’s play.”

  We flipped a coin to see who would go first – Forest. He moved the black checker on the board and I did the same with the red one.

  The game went for longer than I had expected. Forest was actually quite goo
d, obviously he had spent a lot of waiting around time playing too.

  After fifteen minutes, we both had a pile of checkers at our side. We only had a few more in play. I was trying to position my pieces so I could wipe out all his with one go. He had three left and I had four. My competitive instincts were kicking in and I really wanted to win.

  Forest went next, taking out another of my checkers. Now we were even. As I studied the board, I found my play. If I moved one of my pieces to the diagonal left, I could bluff him so he moved to the diagonal right. Then he would be exactly where I wanted him. I could win on the next move.

  I approached the board and got ready to make my move. My arm froze, mid-reach. If I did that, I would only get dinner. If I lost, I would get a kiss from Forest. Remembering the last time we had kissed, my knees went weak. Suddenly I didn’t want to win anymore.

  I moved my piece to the diagonal right, exposing my piece. I gave Forest a look, like I was pleased with my move so he wouldn’t think I was throwing the game. It would be so embarrassing if he knew the truth.

  “You shouldn’t have done that,” he warned as he moved his piece to jump over all of mine. With that one movement, he won the game. “Victory is mine. I’m going to collect my winnings now.”

  He took a step closer to me and I swear a shiver ran down my spine. Not the kind from being scared about something, but the shiver of anticipation. My body still remembered his last kiss and I knew what was in store for me.

  My breath caught in my throat as I tried to speak. The effect he had on me should have been criminal. “A quick kiss, I believe that was the deal.”

  He shook his head as he reached me, devouring me with his eyes. I felt naked. “The type of kiss was stipulated in the agreement as one of my choice. The ambiguity means I get to choose whichever I like.”

  I pretended to be annoyed. “I knew I should have called my lawyer first.”

  Forest placed his hands on my waist, sliding them around so they locked at my back. There was no room between us, I was completely at his mercy as I pressed against him. His chest was rock hard, I could only imagine how good it would look underneath his shirt.