No Engagement Ring

by Julie Sewcharan

  “You asked my father's blessing?” she echoed looking at him in wonder. “And he agreed?” still unable to fathom it.

  “He did not answer for you,” Jonathan reassured. “He told me that the decision is yours to make and he would be happy with whatever you decided. He did seem surprised though.”

  Hannah was thoughtful for a moment. “You knew back then already that you wanted to marry me?” she asked shyly.

  “I knew for a very long time but I wasn't sure what your relationship with Luke was so I couldn't announce my feelings for you until now,” he said painfully.

  “Oh, my!” she put her hand to her chest. “He is like a brother to me,” she stated.

  “I didn't know that,” he defended. “Besides you two were pretty close.”

  “We are!” she affirmed. “But only because he was not expecting anything from me,” she said gladly. “All my life people expected me to be someone or something I am not. Even with Simon, I seem to lose my identity. And since everyone was excited about our engagement, I didn't want to voice my doubts. And just when I would think that I should tell him, he would kiss me and make it seem as if I was imagining things. He had a way to make me think all was as it should be. You're the only other person who sees me as me,” she said with feeling.

  Jonathan was so grateful for her confession; he hoped that he would forever uphold her view of him. He determined to go the extra mile to do just that. And it would be easy if he just kept his focus on how God saw Hannah. At least he now understood her reason for not wanting to be kissed.

  “Hannah, you are created by our wonderful, loving Father, and He sees you as He created you. I couldn't see you as any less than that. Otherwise I would be false to my calling,” he said sweetly.

  For those words of affirmation, he received a long hug. She was all the wonderful things he didn't deserve and all that God wanted for him. Thankful, he kissed the top of her head.

  “What about your family?” she asked, remaining in his embrace.

  “My mother knew well before I did, so it won't be any surprise to her. I will let my siblings know soon. But for now, I would like to just bask in the happiness of having you in my life,” he whispered.

  Hannah felt a tingle go through her entire being. It felt good to be loved by someone who accepted her for who she was. She enjoyed being there in his embrace and didn't want to leave it but the phone rang breaking the magical moment.

  It was a member of the congregation who had interrupted them but they couldn't blame the person. They were not to know that they were interrupting. After a few minutes, the call ended and Jonathan could again focus on his wife to be. He could still not believe that it was happening for him. But he knew better than to doubt his Father.

  “Sorry!” he apologised.

  “No need to. I am fully aware that I cannot stand in the way of what God called you to do,” she said with complete understanding and maturity.

  Jonathan just looked at her with awe. She was by far the most wonderful person he had ever met. He must have been staring at her too long for she became uncomfortable as she asked, “Is something wrong?”

  “With you? Absolutely nothing. I was just wondering what I did to deserve such happiness,” he said with conviction.

  Perching on the chair opposite him, Hannah laughed with relief. “For a moment there, I thought you were regretting your decision.”

  “Not a chance!” he confirmed.

  “I'm glad! Now I better get going to inform my parents and book my family for the date,” she said businesslike.

  “I better do the same,” Jonathan said reluctantly. He did not want her to leave but she was right, they needed to get the ball rolling. “I had better also get us enrolled on that course at Grace Christian Church.”

  “Thank you for taking care of everything,” she said as if it meant the world to her.

  “You are welcome. And Hannah, it's okay to say no to anything you don't like,” he said softly.

  Shaken by his astuteness, she looked at him with tears in her eyes. Mostly people hardly ever took her feelings into consideration; not that it was their fault for she had let them decide for her. Now she was given the mandate to say no.

  Love swelled for the man she would marry soon. “I love you!” she said instead of responding to his statement.

  Jonathan could not have been more blessed. Why did he promise not to kiss her until their wedding? Fortunately, the desk provided a good barrier. “I love you too!” he said with feeling before she left his office.

  Chapter 15

  The first thing he did after she left him alone was to thank God profusely for intervening and making it all possible. Thereafter, he phoned his mother to tell her the good news. Emily was over the moon. She already set a date for them to dine together as a celebration of the good news. He wondered if Hannah would be ready for that. Before hanging up though, he made Emily promise not to spread the word just yet. Reluctantly, she promised.

  As soon as Hannah got home, Emily waylaid her. “I heard the good news!” Emily burst out excitedly taking Hannah by surprise.

  “You and Jonathan must come to dinner tomorrow night to celebrate,” she continued without waiting for a response from Hannah. She also didn't give Hannah a chance to decline the dinner invitation. Overwhelmed, Hannah just nodded.

  “Have you notified your parents?” Emily asked curiously.

  “Er, not yet. Going to phone them now,” she managed finally.

  “Oh, sorry, yes! Forgive me. There's so much I would like to ask but that can wait until you are finished or even tomorrow.” Emily let her go.

  Making the call to her parents was relieving for both sides. They were delighted with the news but cautious about the preparations.

  “Honey, are you okay with going through this again?” her mother asked cautiously.

  “I think so mum,” Hannah replied calmly.

  “Your dad and I have known for a while,” Elizabeth confessed quietly.

  “I heard,” Hannah said without condemnation.

  “We know this is what God wants for you,” Elizabeth encouraged, with tears in her voice. “I knew the moment I set eyes on the two of you in the same room,” Elizabeth was ardent. “Anyway, we have a wedding to plan in such a short time.”

  “Nothing fancy, mum,” Hannah commissioned.

  “Off course dearest,” Elizabeth scoffed.

  “And mum?” Hannah said hesitantly.

  '”Yes, darling?” Elizabeth encouraged.

  “Can I use grandma's wedding dress?” Hannah's voice held uncertainty.

  “Baby, is that what you want?” Her mother's tone was pending.

  “Yes, it is!” Hannah said with conviction.

  “Then that's what you must wear. Off course we will have to alter it a bit but I don't think it would be too difficult. I will need to send it to you for fitting. Let me see what will be the best way to do that.”

  Hannah was relieved her mother didn't talk her out of wearing her grandmother's wedding gown. Old fashioned though it might seem, Hannah didn't care. It would need a slight change here and there but Hannah could still picture how beautiful it was in her eyes, when she first saw it.

  Her mind wandered to the day when her mother was airing out the attic and found the dress in a bag – well preserved. The silk was still white and the simplicity of the style was what she needed. The dress flared slightly at the waist, had short sleeves and lace overlay which she might have to remove. But the buttons down the back all the way from the high collar to below the small of her back, was the deciding factor for her. They were pretty and intricate making it look fancy. The veil was still in good condition. Yes! Hannah was certain that she wanted to wear it.

  She didn't see Jonathan the next day until dinner. Still shy about the whole relationship, Hannah only allowed him a quick hug in front of their hosts.

  Talk at the table revolved around their marriage. Still getting used to the idea, Hannah contributed little
to the conversation. She was grateful that no one spent too much time on the wedding itself. Fear was still embedded in her that it might not take place.

  Before the evening ended, Emily wanted to know about invitations. “If we don't get them out soon, then the people you want there will not be able to attend. It is taking placing in December after all.” Emily raised an eyebrow.

  She made a good point, Hannah realised. Many will be preparing for holidays so might not be too available. Invitations, though, meant it would be official and Hannah was still cautious about the whole thing.

  “My parents are fine with the date and they will make sure my siblings are too,” Hannah stated without enthusiasm.

  They laughed at that. “I like your parents,” Derrick grinned.

  Hannah coloured after realising what she said. Jonathan covered her hands with his, supportively.

  “I guess I will have to make sure that Jonathan's siblings are fine with it,” Emily laughed. “Now who are the other guests and where are you having the wedding?”

  Both Jonathan and Hannah looked at each other startled. Excited about getting married, neither of them had thought about the venue.

  “You certainly can't have it at the church,” Derrick interjected. “The whole congregation will want to be there.” He laughed at that.

  But Jonathan knew it could happen. If they wanted to keep it small and private, they would have to find a venue that was not public. At this short notice, he wondered where. And Hannah would not be privy to places in the area.

  “Do you have any preference, Hannah?” Emily took a shot.

  “I'm not familiar with the area,” Hannah said hesitantly.

  But there was a place on her mind, Jonathan realised. And she didn't want to voice it in the group.

  “Let's see what we can come up with in the next few days,” he said kindly, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

  Hannah instantly knew that Jonathan was aware of her idea for a venue. Grateful, she squeezed his hand back, letting him know that she trusted him.

  Emily agreed to not rush into a decision on that. They wanted it to be special, she realised and interfering would be uncalled for. Everyone was happy with that.

  In order not to create smoke around their relationship, Jonathan agreed he would not visit Hannah at school, difficult though it was. The best they could do to see each other was at the Garrick's house for which he was grateful. Anyway, they had a lifetime to spend with each other after the wedding and that kept him sane.

  Since Hannah didn't want to chat about the venue with anyone else, Jonathan was at a loss of how and where they could do that. Opportunity came via Sarah. The school was in need of a male supervisor for the Grade R outing since the male teacher who was to be involved was off sick.

  At short notice, Jonathan was roped in. Not that he minded. It was the opportunity to be alone with Hannah even if there were twenty children with them. Only an hour was allocated to the outing but it was more than enough for Jonathan.

  When they reached their destination, the children were taken care of by the people there, leaving Hannah and Jonathan waiting for them. They were offered the opportunity to explore the building, on the their own, which they immediately took up.

  With no one else around, they were able to talk. It was then that Hannah confessed that she had seen a beautiful garden on one of the charity runs they did. But she wasn't sure that it could be used by the public. But it didn't look like a residential garden either.

  Jonathan made a note of the place and promised Hannah he would make inquiries. Or get Emily to do that.

  “Maybe Mrs Garrick should do that,” she suggested. “It will be less telling,” she pointed out at his thoughtful look.

  Once again, she was right, he conceded, making a mental note to get the information to Emily. Time was moving so slowly towards their wedding, but he was well aware that God's way was best. If it was up to him, he would sign the register yesterday already.

  Hannah, on the other hand, didn't seem to be in a hurry to get to their wedding day. But then he realised that she had been disappointed before and would be cautious about the second time. Maybe the idea to get married without the wedding would be better, he pondered.

  No! he felt God saying to wait. Whatever for, he had no idea but he had learnt a long time ago to trust God's judgement.

  “A penny for your thoughts,” Hannah's sweet voice cut into his thoughts.

  He hadn't realised that he was far away. “Just wishing it was December already,” he smiled pensively.

  Hannah's eyes grew wide. She couldn't believe that he would be impatient to marry, especially in light of his first marriage ending disastrously, if his tone when mentioning it to her on that first day was anything to go by. Not that she wanted to bring it up. Waiting for the right time was always best to discuss things like that.

  “I know it must seem like it might not take place. From your side, I understand it will seem unreal and I don't want to make you uncomfortable about the whole thing. For me, it is very real. I've known that the moment you crept into my heart. I will try my best to make you happy, Hannah.” His words came straight from his heart.

  Hopelessly, she looked at him. She wanted to believe that everything was real but she had been duped before. That was why she insisted he did not kiss her until they were legally husband and wife. She didn't want to make him feel bad, not at all. Jonathan was a good man and no doubt will make her very happy; she just needed to trust God that it will take place. But it was going to have to take its course.

  Further conversation was impossible as the children joined them noisily. Jonathan smiled lovingly at her wanting her to feel secure with him. He would wait for her to fully trust him and that could only happen once she could trust God completely. He wasn't worried; they had a lifetime for that to happen. He turned his attention to the children who were crowding him listening to their chatter and encouraging them in their stories.

  Stumped by what she saw in Jonathan's eyes, Hannah could not move until one of the children pulled on her hand. Pushing aside her thoughts of him and the unmasked love she was privy to a few moments ago, she paid attention to the child.

  Neither she nor Jonathan spoke of personal things again that day. It was difficult though for her to concentrate for the rest of the day. Her mind kept drifting to Jonathan. He was genuine, she could feel it. Unlike Simon, Jonathan was transparent. He was not doubtful about their future. Neither was he putting demands and pressure on her.

  That night, she prayed in the quietness of her sanctuary that God would help her to believe and trust and that His will was always better no matter what she thought. Sleep was restful after that.

  The next evening, Emily knocked on her door. “I have some good news for you,” Emily said inviting herself in.

  Hannah greeted the older woman with a smile. She knew better than to ignore Emily. “I like good news,” Hannah stated unsure whether Emily's news was good for herself or Hannah.

  “That garden you were thinking about for your wedding, it is not for public use,” Emily stated.

  How did Jonathan get the details to his mother so quickly? Hannah asked herself pleased that she was his priority. Even the news that it was not a venue for hire didn't erase the dizzying sensation of that thought.

  “Oh, that's alright,” Hannah said pleasantly. “I am sure we could find another venue.”

  “However,” Emily continued as if she hadn't spoken, “the owners when they heard why we inquired have agreed to let us use it.”

  Hannah's mouth dropped open. Did she hear correctly?

  “Yep, that's what I said,” Emily spoke as if reading her mind.

  “I...I don't know what to say. They would do that?” Disbelief made her voice squeaky.

  “Off course I told them that you were getting married to a pastor. I was careful not to mention which pastor,” Emily held her hand up in defence at Hannah's concerned look.

  “That's fantastic news, no
t just good news!” Hannah cried with excitement. She was getting the venue she would like for her wedding and wearing the dress she wanted.

  This could only be God's hand. “I have to tell Jonathan,” Hannah said excitedly.

  “I'll leave you to it then,” Emily said briskly with a smile and left promptly.

  The excitement in her voice was catchy as she told Jonathan the news about the venue. “Oh, Jonathan, it can only be God!” she stated emphatically.

  He agreed and was excited that she could see God's hand in this. He had prayed that the venue would be theirs, for Hannah's sake, and once again God proved Himself faithful. No matter how many times he saw God at work, Jonathan still felt awed. Now they could send out invitations!

  Early that Saturday, Elizabeth phoned Hannah. “Hi, darling!” she greeted enthusiastically. “I have found someone coming your way next week Tuesday. They are willing to deliver your wedding dress to you.” Elizabeth was excited.

  “Thanks mum,” Hannah said with heartfelt gratitude. “Just message me the details for pick up.”

  “Oh, no! They will deliver to your door but probably around eight in the evening. That okay?”

  “Yes, off course! I'll be here. I'll just let Mrs Garrick know.”

  “Everything else on track?” Elizabeth asked casually.

  “I think so. We have a venue.” Hannah said this in awe.

  “Sounds like it's unreal to you,” Elizabeth stated reading her daughter well.

  “It all feels unreal, mum!” Hannah confessed. “Do you think it will take place?” Hannah asked doubtfully.

  “Oh, sweetheart, I know you are uncertain and I can't give you a definite answer. Only God can make that call. And if it doesn't happen? Would you still love Him?”

  “I've learned that it is best to leave things in God's hands.”

  “Wise words indeed,” Elizabeth approved.

  “Jonathan taught me that,” Hannah confessed. “He's a real stalwart. Deep down I know that he won't abandon me. He's even prepared to skip the wedding and just do the nuptials.”