Dirty Talk
Page 57
His words are intoxicating, his voice a drug to my body, an addiction I can’t break. “Only for you,” I manage to reply.
I’m rewarded with faster, direct pressure between my legs and the slightest in the back. “I like owning you in ways that you didn’t even know you wanted to be touched, to be fucked.” He pauses. “Do you know much restraint I’m heeding? Do you know how much I want to fuck you right now? Fuck you until you’re on your knees, begging for more and then collapsing into a heap of satisfaction at the bottom of this shower.” Running his nose along the curve of my neck, he inhales. “But the time’s not right. You’re not ready for me and I don’t have,” he says carefully, “anything to help ease things in.” Licking the nape of my neck, he makes sure to keep circling below.
My fingers splay against the tile, my orgasm building.
“Janie,” he whispers again, my name becoming a melody on his tongue. “I want you to tell me what you want me to do. Tell me how I can please you.”
“More.”
“More of what?”
I never thought I’d want this. I never thought it would feel this way. “Both.” My voice is decidedly clear.
“I’ll go slow, but I’ll make you feel so good. Just feel, baby.”
My body joins the slow rhythm his talented fingers have set. Each time I move back, he moves forward just enough for me to feel the burn that accompanies a new stretch. It doesn’t hurt. He makes me want more—faster and harder, but I don’t press him, trusting his pace.
Just as he rubs my swollen clit, he fills me from behind and touches me in ways I didn’t know could feel impossibly dirty and equally amazing. “Oh God. Luke.” My head falls gently forward joining my hands on the tile as he surrounds me inside and out, filling my soul and body, ecstasy breaking me into a million little pieces. Universe shattering. Mind-blowing. Darkness filled with bright bursts. A strong arm holds me up while I fall apart.
My body stammers to life, reality coming back into focus, the rushing sound of water returning to my ears. Kisses are placed on the back of my shoulder with purpose.
A possession being owned.
A territory being marked.
A soul being reclaimed.
I release a breath and sigh in satisfaction just as he promised. Turning around slowly I keep my body weighted against the tile for support, and look up at him. Luke with the dark lashes, hair just over his silvery-blue eyes. His body is one of a gentle giant, not threatening despite the well-defined muscles. Droplets of water run over his skin and the way he’s looking at me… Love. That is what love looks like. That is what my love looks like.
Pushing off, I’m in his arms, his protective arms. It’s easy to forget any pain and forgive any lies he told to shield me from whatever is out there trying to hurt me. We have time to talk. We have hours left on the road to figure out where to go from here. Our destiny mapped out long before we met, the journey leading us straight back to each other.
“I forgive you.”
He chuckles. “It was that good, huh?”
“You were that good, but this isn’t about sex.”
“You sure?” he asks, tilting his head to the side. “Because you have this look in your eyes that makes me think you’re just on a sex high.”
I laugh. “It was good. Really good, but we can’t speak of it again.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s embarrassing.”
“Why is it embarrassing?” With his eyebrows scrunched together, he looks genuinely confused.
My eyes go wide and I frown. “You know. It was so… naughty.” I immediately hide my face from his by tucking myself against him under the water. Thank goodness for endless hot water at hotels.
His arms wrap around me and he kisses my head. “We didn’t do anything naughty or embarrassing. We did what felt good.” Tilting my chin up to look at him, he says, “Don’t ever be embarrassed about anything we do together. There’s not a right or wrong, good or evil. Everything we do is based in love. It comes from somewhere perfect where no one and nothing else matters. Only us. Okay?”
I nod and return to hug him as tight as I can, letting him do the same to me.
* * *
WE REACH THE Arizona border an hour after leaving El Paso. The scenery is one we’re used to at this stage in the road trip, but it’s still a beautiful day. A healed heart allows you to see the hope on the horizon much more clearly.
With his eyes on the road, he says, “That was quite the orgasm you had back there.”
Blood rushes to my cheeks and they heat, so I smack his arm. “I said do not speak of it again, Luke.”
“I’m just saying, that was quite the orgasm.”
“Oh my God. Are you gonna keep saying that?”
“I’m kind of proud.”
“Kind of?”
Reaching over the console, he takes my hand in his, weaving his fingers with mine. He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it several times, then says, “More than kind of. Like supremely, phenomenally proud. Not only did I give it to you, but I own it forever.”
The back of my head hits the seat as I laugh. “Look, I’ll give you that one—”
“And every one after,” he interjects.
Surprised by this claim he’s staked, I ask, “You want to own all of my… all of them?”
“Them? You can’t say it, can you?”
“I can say it.”
“Say it, Janie.”
It doesn’t escape me that he hasn’t released my hand. The warmth of our connection is felt deep inside my belly. But with that word being thrown around so casually, I giggle nervously.
He kisses my hand again. “You’re cute. I like that words like orgasm make you blush. What about anal?”
“Luke! No. Do not talk about this.” Throwing my hoodie over my head, I pull the strings as tight as they can go and hide.
His laughter fills the car. “Fine. I won’t talk about how incredibly sexy you were when I touched you there and then you squirmed when I touched you elsewhere. And that the, you know, was not only good for you, but amazing for me.”
“Okay. Okay. You’re being silly. You can say the words. I can say the words.”
“Then say them,” he pushes, challenging me.
I take the hoodie off to prove I’m braver than he thinks. “Anal. Pussy. Orgasm. Happy?”
“Wow, you don’t hold back. You have a dirty mouth, Ms. Lewis.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re impossible.”
“Impossible to resist.”
“My eyes actually hurt from the epic rolling.”
“I know of something else epic we can talk about.”
“Pull over!”
“What?” Luke’s face is frantic. “I wasn’t serious.”
“No. No. Not that. That,” I say, pointing toward the yellow gas stop.
When he finally sees it up ahead, he asks, “You want to find out what The Thing is?”
Excitedly, I ask, “You mean you don’t?”
With fake enthusiasm, he says, “Hell yeah, I do.”
Laughing, I look at the rest stop museum. “You don’t mind? For real?”
“I’m all for an adventure.”
An hour later, we’re back in the car. I look at him not sure what to think about that place. I’m still trying to process what we just saw when I say, “That was weirder than I expected.”
“They accomplished their mission. I’m gonna have nightmares.” He takes my hand and holds it, resting our bond on his thigh. I can tell he’s going to be holding it for the long haul, and I couldn’t be happier.
We’ve made many mistakes, but helping him escape Austin, her, and our past was not one of them. I was wrong to ever think we were a mistake when he’s the best parts of my life. Lifting his hand up, I kiss it, and receive the best smile in the world in exchange.
That boy is so in love.
He’s lucky because I am too.
CHAPTER 31
~Luke~
Maybe I’ll get some winks in too. I cut the engine and take the keys, locking her protectively inside, and trek off. When I return to the car, the headlights are on and she’s sitting on the hood. “I was looking for you.”
“I had to piss.”
When I come closer, she lies back. “Have you seen this?”
“What?” I ask, maneuvering between her legs while running my hands up and down her outer thighs.
“Look up.”
I do. “The stars?”
“The universe, Luke. It’s like we’re the only two people in the universe. It’s spectacular.”
“We need to get out of the city more.”
“Lie next to me.”
Silently, I climb up on the hood and lie down. I take her hand and we stare up at the vast desert sky together. The silence doesn’t last long because I ask, “Wanna have sex?”
“Sure do.”
She can’t see it right now, but my smile grows to mass proportions, matching other parts of my body.
Cool desert air.
Dark, star-filled night.
Headlights creating shadows of our union.
The most beautiful woman in the world.
The smooth, silver surface of her BMW.
My hard against her soft.
I have the best fucking life.
Thirty minutes later, we’re tangled in the backseat. Her eyes are closed, her breathing even.
This.
This right here is perfection.
I want this all the time.
I want this woman in my arms forever. “Janie?” I whisper and rub her arm. “Jane?”
When she stirs, she yawns. “Hmm?”
“Marry me.”
Her body goes rigid, and then pops up, pressing her palms to my chest. Looking down on me, she checks to make sure she heard me right. “What did you say?”
“I don’t have a ring and I’m not down on one knee, but I want to marry you more than I’ve wanted anything in my life. Let’s get married and live A forever together.”
“You want A forever with me?” she asks, smiling.
Stroking her hair back and tucking some strands behind her ear, I reply, “I do owe you one, after all.” I sit up, readjusting her on my lap. Her arms are around my neck, and I lower mine to her hips. “Will you marry me?”
The moonlight shining in the back window reflects in her teary eyes. Reaching up, I run my thumbs gently under each, catching the tears before they streak her pretty face. “Don’t cry, baby.”
“They’re happy tears.”
“So that’s a yes?”
Nodding, her smile grows wider, and she throws herself against me. “Yes, so much yes.” Her head drops to my shoulder and her body shakes in my arms.
I kiss the back of her head. “I love you.”
She lifts up and kisses me even harder. “I love you, too.”
“I have always loved you and I always will. I promise I will never hurt you again and I will always fight for us.” With her complete attention, I turn serious, needing her to understand the depth of my love for her. “I will never let you walk away again because I never want to be apart from you again.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I didn’t stay and fight for us. I’m sorry I was blind to what we had and…” She looks away, shame filling her features when she squeezes her eyes closed. “I’m sorry I was with someone else.” I caress her cheek with her eyes on mine. She says, “And I’m sorry I let you sleep with half of LA.”
When she smirks, I do too, and correct her, “I wouldn’t say half.”
“A good quarter?”
“Maybe one-eighth. It is a city of seven million. I’m good, but I don’t think even my ego can make that claim.”
A playful punch to my chest pushes me back. I lie down again. It’s horribly uncomfortable back here, but being with her like this is so worth the seatbelt latch stabbing me in the back.
Jane shifts and moves on top of me. Lifting up, I kiss her cheek. “Love you.”
With a knitted brow, she asks, “What about Jessica?”
“I’ve been thinking about that situation.”
“Situation indeed.”
I angle toward her. “Most likely she won’t do any voiceover work or retakes since I took off. I need you to be prepared for the possibility of this movie never being finished.”
“But there’s a contract in place?”
“She knows the loopholes.”
“She’ll ruin the movie because she can’t be with you? That’s why you agreed to her deal, to make sure the movie is finished?”
I nod.
“You broke my heart to save my movie.” The pieces fall into place and she rests her hand over my pounding heart. “You did it for me, didn’t you?” The quiet stretches between us. “Tell me, Luke. Please.”
“I know the contract you signed. If the movie doesn’t get sold, you lose the backend payout. I can’t sell a movie if it doesn’t get made.”
“Silly man. Why would you ever think I would rather have a paycheck than you?”
“It felt selfish to sacrifice money I know you need because I wanted to be with you.”
“I want to be with you, Luke.” She laughs lightly. “I just agreed to marry you. The money is meaningless without happiness.”
Looking out the window, I confess, “You don’t know how to ask for help. You lived in a motel for months. I don’t know your current financial situation, but I can guess. So maybe I was being selfish, but I couldn’t stand the thought of you not able to support yourself.”
“Look at me, Luke.” When I do, she says, “It was a hotel, not a motel. Secondly, I’d find a way. I always do. I have a second script in the hands of several directors and producers. Hell, I bought my own car. I’m not doing too shabby. So what you did, I want to be mad at you for doing that to us, but now I know. I know you did it for me and I just can’t be mad at you for that.” She kisses my temple. “Anyway, how can I be upset when we’re together and getting married?”
“You can’t.” I waggle my eyebrows. “See how that works.”
Her laughter fills the car. Best sound ever. “So the movie’s gone is what you’re saying?”
“I’m pretty sure she’ll check herself into rehab to shelve the project.”
“It’s a beautiful film. It’ll be sad that no one will see it. As much as Ian was annoying, he’s a brilliant director with a great vision.”
“I knew he’d do this movie justice.”
“Is there anything we can do to finish it? I’ll give back the money I’ve already been paid if that helps.”
“You’re not going to pay for it. I’ve already taken two hits on my paycheck for it. Ian even took a twenty K pay cut to help.”
“Why did I not know about any of this?”
“Because it’s my job to worry about, not yours. I still failed you though.”
Her fingers run through my hair, her nails lightly scratching my scalp. I close my eyes not wanting her to see the guilt I carry.
“You did not fail me. Listen to me,” she says. I open my eyes to see her determined ones locked on mine. “You did more than you should have. Ultimately we can’t control if the movie is completed. We can only do our best. Jessica is going to do what Jessica wants to do like she always does. We’ll do what we have to.”
“When we get back, I’m going to make some calls. I’m not giving up yet. But I’m going to have to talk to her.”
“How do you feel about talking to her as a married man? I want to seal this deal sooner than later.”
“I could be tempted.”
“Just us.”
Just making sure she’s thinking through everything thoroughly, I say, “You know our families will be upset. Our friends might be offended.”
Her head goes to my chest and tilts down, all her energy escaping as she molds to me. “I’m willing to take the chance.”
~Jane~
I WATCH THE sunrise from the back seat of my car wrapped in Luke’s arms. It was the best sight I’ve ever seen. Both of them. I feel at peace for the first time in years. I’m finally on the right path again. I can feel it in my bones.
As I doodle on his chest, he smiles, his inner peace shining in his eyes when they open. “Good morning.”
“The best morning.”
He takes my left hand and kisses my ring finger. “We’re engaged.”
“Yes, we are,” I reply happily.
“Let’s get married in Vegas.”
“No dress. No guests, No—”
“Nothing but us.”
I kiss him on the lips. “Sounds divine.”
“I don’t think I can feel my legs.”
Looking over his tall frame, I slide to the side and open the back door to get out. Luke works his way out and stretches toward the sky. “Remind me to get you an SUV. This car is a killer on the body.”
“I didn’t buy it thinking I’d be sleeping in it.”
“True. I’ll be back.” I watch as he walks thirty yards or so, but turn and tend to my own business, hiding behind the car.
Meeting back at the car, I say, “I cannot wait to get to Vegas to shower. I feel gross.” I take him by the front of the shirt and sway a little, flirting. “I can’t wait to be back in yours as well.”
Taking me by the waist, he says, “About my shower—”
Ten minutes later, I’m sitting behind the wheel of my car with Luke in the passenger’s seat, and I’m completely flabbergasted. “You traded your house to get my movie made?”
“It wasn’t a trade. It was collateral.”
“I don’t understand why you would do that.”
“I felt confident in the movie, and because you always dreamed of having one of your scripts made into a film. It was a risk, but how could I not help make that dream come true?”