Can't Buy Me Love

by Summer Kinard

  “Over. The only reason to put it under is to keep cats from unrolling all of it.”

  Vanessa sighed, “You are near about perfect. If we can get you to sit quietly through the opus of Meg Ryan, we should be one of the happiest couples in the world.”

  “Perhaps we already are.”

  “Perhaps,” Vanessa sipped her tea. “Red wine or white wine? Usually red for me.”

  “Depends on the occasion and the season.” Javier’s pager buzzed. “Excuse me.”

  Vanessa studied Javier’s perfect features as he spoke into his cell. She liked the authority and compassion in his voice when he asked questions about the patient.

  “I have to go to the hospital,” he apologized after he ended the call.

  On the way to Vanessa’s place, she chatted giddily about her plans for an afghan and new sewing projects and made Javier laugh with her recital of the concrete Jesus incident.

  “I will try to get away this afternoon. But if I can’t, I will not be able to see you again till Friday.” Javier turned to her when they pulled up in front of her building.

  “So long?” Vanessa sighed.

  “I know, mi amor. But I have to work extra shifts in order to have off next weekend when Mami and Papi come to visit.” It was the first time Vanessa had heard Javier speak Spanish, and a shiver of delight ran up her spine at the melodious sound.

  “Do you want me to meet them then, or wait till you’ve known me longer?”

  “I’ve known you long enough, Vanessa,” Javier kissed her fingers. His eyes seemed to grow transparent, and she heard again the echo of lapping waves and love that was equal parts strength and joy. Vanessa’s breath caught in wonder. She had never been so open to another soul.

  “Wow,” Vanessa exhaled softly, finding her voice at last. “I’m meeting your parents.”

  “Don’t worry. They will love you, too,” Javier smiled tenderly.

  They kissed, and Javier got out to open Vanessa’s door.

  “I’ll call you this week,” he assured.

  “I look forward to it.”

  Vanessa walked up to her building slowly. When she passed Margery’s door, she could hear the canned laughter of a television show. Good, they’re home, she said to herself. With their date cut short, Vanessa had time to bike to the Food Lion Reagan had mentioned. She ran upstairs and pulled her spare key out of the jar of odds and ends and crochet hooks she kept on her windowsill. She ran back downstairs and knocked on Margery’s door.

  “Margery?” Vanessa called when she heard footsteps approach the door. “It’s Vanessa.”

  “Well, look atch you!”

  “What?” Vanessa checked her shirt for spills.

  “You’re glowing.” Margery turned to the dark room behind her and called, “Milton! Come meet our neighbor that’s been supplying you with that cheese!”

  “How do you do?” A haggard, but friendly, face spoke from behind his wife. He reached forward and shook her hand. His hand was strong, work-hardened, and warm. “Thank you right kindly for that cheddar. They don’t hardly ever have it at the Food Lion.”

  “You’re welcome. Actually,” Vanessa looked to Margery, “I was about to head to the Food Lion right now. But I was wondering… my boyfriend might be able to come back over this afternoon, and I wanted to know if I could leave the key with you in case he gets back first? I don’t have a cell phone, so I would have to leave a note.”

  “Your boyfriend! You hear that, Milton?” Margery grinned. “We ain’t getting any sleep again tonight.”

  “That explains the glow,” Milton chuckled. He elbowed his wife gently, and they laughed again.

  “That won’t be any problem, honey. You leave that with us, we’ll take care of your friend if he drops by.”

  “Thanks,” Vanessa handed over the key, “this means a lot.” She looked toward Milton, “I promise to find all the English cheddar I can for you.”

  “Alright, now. You’d best get going if you don’t want him to wait for you all day!” Margery shooed Vanessa off.

  Vanessa left a brief note on her door explaining where she had gone and where to pick up the key. Then she packed bungee cords into her foraging backpack and set out on her bike. The Food Lion was a few miles away, but Vanessa made good time. Without the university traffic of the school year, biking was easier and more relaxing. When she arrived, Vanessa followed Reagan’s instructions and parked her bike behind the building. She walked through the store to the back by the loading door. She asked the first employee she saw if she could speak to Marcus. A few minutes later, he appeared from the swinging doors. He had a stubbly, dark beard on his pallid face and a slightly leering expression.

  “You asked for me?” Marcus demanded.

  “Yes. My friend Reagan tells me that you can help me find some out-of-date frozen foods that have been kept at safe temperatures.”

  “Reagan sent you, huh? What’s he up to these days?” Marcus rubbed his beard, his head to the side.

  “She is up to the usual. Foraging and working at the daycare.” Vanessa waited while Marcus nodded. She had passed his test. “So, can you help me?”

  “Over here,” Marcus gestured through the doors. He took Vanessa to a beaten up freezer at the back of the huge storage room and pulled the heavy door open. “How much you looking to take?”

  “I have my backpack here, and I could strap a carton to my bike.”

  “Go to it.” Marcus stood watch while Vanessa loaded her backpack quickly. She grabbed as many organic microwave meals as she could stuff into her huge pack, then gave into temptation and lugged out an entire carton of organic waffles and toaster pastries.

  “I’ve got it,” Vanessa spoke firmly, wanting to appear strong. “Thank you.”

  “You want to thank me, you’ll do more than say it.” Marcus paused and looked Vanessa up and down, lingering his gaze on her breasts. Then he smiled greedily and said, “I need gas money.”

  “All I have is a five,” Vanessa handed over the bill.

  “That will do,” Marcus stuffed the money into his pocket.

  Vanessa tried to navigate a path to the back door that did not take her too close to Marcus, who continued to look at her as though he was the sort to take without asking. She wanted to get away from him as soon as possible. Her fight or flight instincts were kicking in from the way he looked at her, and she felt bile rising in her esophagus. She swallowed it down and clenched her muscles around the cardboard box in her arms.

  “Hey!” Marcus called as she neared him. He put his arm across her path, making Vanessa go cold. She pulled herself up and gave him a withering look, all her muscles tensed for fighting. “Tell Reagan I said hi.” He dropped his arm and let her pass.

  Vanessa nodded and pushed out the door with her back, the carton of food between them. If he came closer, she wanted to have something to throw at him. The door slammed behind her without any interference from Marcus. She corded the carton onto the cargo area behind her seat and pedaled away around the potholes as quickly as was safe. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she rode home. She was surprised to find herself growing pissed off instead of afraid. The more she recalled the tense moments with Marcus, the more she knew that he would not have gotten off with only a little puke. She would have fought him.

  The realization combined with the adrenalin coursing through her system made her feel invincible and strong. She parked her bike and marveled at how weightless the box of food felt in her arms as she ran lightly up the stairs. Outside her door, a sickly fragrance like rotting roses met her, which she attributed to the coincidence of a high heat index and laundry day in the packed apartment complex. She was so giddy with empowerment that she opened her door without thinking it strange that it was unlocked. As soon as she was inside, she dropped the carton in shock. Bradley and Ally were standing by her dining table.

  Correction. Bradley was standing by the dining table, wearing one of the aprons she had sewn for the Beans and Spice launch.
Ally was on her knees in front of him, her head under the apron. They had lit a hideous pink candle that seemed to be throwing off the disgusting floral smell.

  “Do you mind?” Bradley glared at Vanessa when she dropped the carton.

  “I was about to ask you the same thing.”

  Ally popped her head out from under the apron and stood. “Oh, hi, Vanessa. We thought you would be gone longer.”

  Vanessa glared from Ally to Bradley. It was just like Bradley to seize an opportunity, regardless of his romantic attachments. “Clearly,” she nodded toward the apron Bradley was wearing. “You’re going to have to pay for that, Bradley. I’m past cleaning up your messes.”

  Bradley crossed his arms over his chest, and Ally scoffed, “That’s exactly why we’re here, Nessa.”

  “You’re here to shop for aprons?” Vanessa arched her brow, a hand on her hip.

  “No. We’re here about your new habit of buying things,” Ally retorted.

  “What’s it to you what I buy?” She did not know if it was the adrenalin talking or just her new sense of strength and freedom, but she was not about to let Ally push her around.

  “As your former foraging partners, it’s a lot to us. If one person stops foraging, we all start to look bad. Four or five respectable freegans picking around in dumpsters is a movement, but two of us just looks sketchy.” Ally spoke as though she had been waiting around Vanessa’s apartment for a professional chat.

  “You know what’s sketchy, Ally? Breaking into a person’s apartment and performing sex acts with her ex-boyfriend while he wears stolen property, snooping into another person’s business, and harassing her when she is actually happy for a change. If you don’t want to look sketchy, I suggest you get your frugality out of my house and your nose out of my business, then apply these principles to your behavior in general. Goodbye.”

  Bradley stared at Ally as Vanessa spoke, clearly still hopeful that she would finish what she had started.

  Vanessa glared at him. “Put it away, Bradley. You are not getting any. Not here, anyway, but since you two were just leaving, you can take that up with Ally.”

  “What is with you lately?” Bradley groused, reaching under the apron to make private adjustments.

  “And I’m serious, Bradley. You have to pay for that. It’s Ruben’s, and there’s no way I’m explaining that,” she gestured to indicate Bradley’s pelvis, “to him.”

  “Naw, it’s cool, Nessa. That’s another reason I stopped by. Ruben hired me as an extra server for the launch on Friday. I can just take this with me and wear it to the brewery then.”

  “Make sure to wash it first,” Vanessa’s lips were tight with anger. When Ally and Bradley did not move, she stomped to the door and pulled it all the way open. “I hope you two have a lovely day, but I have several important things to attend to now and need the full use of my apartment.”

  Ally broke first and slunk through the door. Bradley followed her, but stopped to hand Vanessa a piece of paper. It was her note to Javier.

  “So his name is Javier,” Bradley said. “When I went to get the key from downstairs, Milton just asked if I was your boyfriend and wished me luck. Well, lucky. That’s kind of what gave me the idea with Ally.”

  “You always have that idea, Bradley.”

  “I guess,” Bradley turned to go. “See you Friday.”

  “The key, Bradley,” Vanessa held out her hand. Bradley unpinned the key from his apron string and handed it to her.

  “Wash the apron,” she said and slammed the door.

  As soon as they were gone, Vanessa breathed deeply, but her inhale was cut short by coughing. “Oh, my God. Where did they find that disgusting candle?” She rushed to blow it out and saw the torn remnants of a couple of brown paper bags nearby it on the table. Realization dawned. “This was the package Bradley put under the coffee table!” She wrapped the candle in the brown paper and opened the kitchen windows. She hoped the place would air out while she put away the frozen foods, but the air was still noxious when she stuffed the last package of waffles into the freezer. There was no way to get the smell out of the house with the candle still in it. She stuck her note back on the door and ran downstairs to the dumpster, stopping only to hand the key back to Margery, who was just returning to her apartment with a load of fresh wash.

  On the way back from dumping the horrid candle, Vanessa met Javier on the stairs as he made his way down.

  “Perfect timing,” they said at the same time.

  Vanessa grabbed Javier’s hand and pulled him up the stairs. “I think I need to kiss you some more,” she smiled. She rushed to unlock the door and pull the note down.

  “What is that smell?” Javier coughed. “That’s not from the flowers I brought, I hope. If so, I apologize.”

  “No. That is the stench of a candle that my two ex-foraging partners, Ally and Bradley, lit. They came to ream me out about buying things instead of being a ‘pure’ freegan like them.”

  “And they put that smell in here to punish you?” Javier waved his hands in front of his face.

  “We’d better go to the bedroom. The smell isn’t dissipating as quickly as I thought it would.” Vanessa scrunched her nose and led the way to her room, which was mercifully free of poopy, rose scent. She closed the door behind them and took a deep breath. “There. All better.”

  “Thanks.” Javier gulped a few breaths. “I thought for a moment there that you would have to give me mouth to mouth,” he grinned goofily. “That was corny, I know.”

  “I’m not complaining.” Vanessa wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. When they came up for air, she kept her face close to his, her cheeks flushed and eyes glazing in pleasure. “I don’t have to be at work till six. How long are you free?”

  “I have to go back in a couple of hours to monitor one of my patient’s surgery.”

  “So, we have an hour and a half?” Vanessa quirked her brows suggestively.

  “More like half an hour.”

  “What? Why? I only live ten minutes from the hospital. By bike.”

  “It’s the candle smell. I can’t be around asthmatics with strong scents in my hair and clothes. I have to go home and change and shower before I go back to work.”

  Vanessa sighed and mentally cursed Bradley, but she recovered quickly. “Thirty minutes it is. Let’s see how much of you I can kiss in that time.”

  “You’ll have to wait your turn,” Javier replied, lifting her onto the bed. He reclined next to her and gently pushed her hair off her neck. When he was not exploring her mouth and lips, he kissed her eagerly along her jaw line and down her neck, to the edges of her deep V-neck shirt. Vanessa squirmed and murmured, pressing her chest into his lips. He slid his hand under her shirt and smoothed it up along her back, causing her to whimper with desire. He was working her top off slowly, kissing her skin inch by inch as it was exposed, when a peal of bells issued from his pocket.

  “What is that?” Vanessa asked, breathing heavily.

  “My alarm telling me to leave for the hospital.”

  “Wait. You didn’t know about the candle before you got here.”

  “No, mi amor,” Javier smiled and brushed his lips against hers lightly, “it’s been an hour and a half.”

  “Oh,” Vanessa blinked. “But your shower!”

  “If I leave now, I’ll have time to shower at the hospital. I keep spare scrubs there. I just don’t like to wear them when I am not in an operating room.”

  “I’ll check for candle stink.” Vanessa composed herself and left the room. “All clear.”

  Javier rose from the bed and walked stiffly toward the front door.

  “Are you okay?” Vanessa asked, concerned.

  “I am more than okay. But as for my walk, I think it will improve dramatically once I get out of your vicinity.”

  “I see.” Vanessa did see. She hugged Javier goodbye, running her hands up his back. “Till next week.”

  Javier’s eyes widened
at her touch, and he returned her kiss fiercely. “I have to go.” He pulled away and tried to walk normally through the door. He turned on her landing and smiled. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” she smiled and blew him a kiss.

  Once Javier was gone, Vanessa remembered that Ally and Bradley had been in her apartment. Bradley would not have gone through much, but Ally was a terrible snoop and sneak thief.

  “What did they get into?” Vanessa walked around the room, checking for disturbances. They had obviously sifted through her sewing notions, and her remaining apron fabrics were not where she had left them on the cutting board. She bent to pick them up from under the dining table. Across the room, the bookshelf caught her eye. Something was not right. The books on the bottom shelf were amiss.

  “Oh, no,” Vanessa covered her eyes and shook her head, “he showed Ally the scrapbooks.”

  Chapter Ten

  The Launch

  Vanessa set the three boxes of condoms on the table with an air of finality.

  “What happened? Things did not go well with your doctor?” Perla asked, looking confused and concerned.

  “On the contrary,” Vanessa grinned at Perla and the other women of Fructus. “They are going so very, very well that I am not going to need those.”

  “What do you mean?” Squeak asked interestedly. “Are you going to make babies? Because I can hook you up.” She raised her crochet hook in the air and waggled it.

  “Well, I can use them, then.” Gabi picked up the boxes.

  “Ruben?! Really?” Vanessa raised a sarcastic eyebrow. “All this time and I never guessed.”

  “How did you know?” Gabi chided.

  “Everyone knew, mija. It’s not as though Vanessa can stand around talking to you all those times you go to ‘visit her,’” Carla air quoted, “’at the bar.’”

  “Right. We all knew y’all liked each other,” Vanessa added. “What we didn’t know was that you two would need those,” she gestured to the boxes.

  “Safety first,” Squeak chimed in.

  “But why don’t you need them?” Perla asked Vanessa. She closed her eyes and tilted her head for a moment as if listening. “I’m sure I was supposed to give them to you.” Perla shook her head. “Unless I got you two confused. I’ll have to meditate on it this week and get back to you.”