Ruined (The Hazed Series Book 3)

by Brittany Butler

  “It’s a special occasion,” I said. If I was drunk and tried to fuck you, at least I could blame it on alcohol.

  “Are you okay to drive?” She asked, leaning her hips against the table. I couldn’t stop staring at her legs, and I’m sure by this point, she noticed.

  I looked away from her. “I’ve drove in much worse conditions.”

  She took a step toward me, laughing. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

  I looked over her shoulder, seeing Lea walking out of the door with Mark. I shook my head, needing to clear that mental image from my mind.

  “Looks like it’s your only choice,” I said.

  She followed my sight. Her head snapped back. She looked at me in horror. “Oh my God, what is she doing?” She practically squealed.

  “I’m gonna tell myself, she’s dropping him off and going home,” I said, cringing.

  She looked at the door then back to me. “Does that bother you?”

  “I’d rather not think about her doing that…Or talk about it,” I said, raising a brow.

  “Do you guys have something going on?” She asked.

  I laughed, putting the stick up. Sweet, Taylor. “No, we do not.”

  “Well, you guys are always around each other…” She said, clearly embarrassed.

  “That couldn’t be further from the truth,” I said.

  She didn’t look like she believed me, but I wasn’t going to set her straight. No one needed to know she was my sister or what we’ve been through. Not even this gorgeous girl in front of me who was watching me suspiciously.

  “How’s college life? You home sick?” I asked, sitting on the table.

  She switched her footing, leaning to the side in front of me. I gripped the side of the table, fighting the urge to grab her hips and pull her into me.

  “I’m not home sick…Not at all.” She frowned as she talked.

  Clearly she didn’t have a good home life. I wanted so badly to ask her about it, but I left it alone. If I asked her, she would want to know more about me and I couldn’t have that.

  “So, you like it here?” I asked.

  She nodded, thinking, “It’s getting better.”

  She raked her fingers through her long hair, pushing it from her face. She looked around, restlessly. With her in my reach, I ran my fingers through the end of her hair. It was as soft as it felt. She looked at me, brows bunched, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she tasted as sweet as she looked.

  Virgin.

  I stood from the table, chugging the rest of my beer. I can’t stay here any longer with her. “Let’s get you back to the dorms.”

  11

  DINNER

  After work, I waited for everyone to leave. Taylor was walking in front of me, I sped up and caught her wrist. Shea saw me, smiled and walked off. At work tonight, I was calm. No one came in and tested my patience.

  “Wanna grab something to eat?”

  She checked her watch, eyeing me skeptically. “Sure.”

  I walked in front of her, opening the door. She slid in and I closed it, then walked to my side.

  “I can take my car,” she said as I sat on the driver side.

  “Nope, I’ll bring you back.”

  The car roars to life, the air blasts, and Led Zeppelin pours through the speaker. I turned the radio down, watching her, but she didn’t seem to mind.

  “What’s open this late?”

  She clasped the seatbelt around her, looking at me. She scooted closer to the door, keeping her hands at her side. She seemed nervous to be in the car with me.

  “You’ll see,” I said, chuckling.

  I’ve never taken a girl out, yet here I was bringing this girl to Taco Bell just to hang out with her. She hummed along to the music. Impressed, I listened, I wanted to turn the music down just to listen. I’ve never met a girl her age that knew classic rock.

  “Taco Bell?” She laughed, looking at me. Her eyes were lit with amusement.

  “It’s amazing at two a.m.”

  “Sober?” She twisted her mouth, thinking.

  “You may have a point.”

  I jogged around to her side of the car, opening her door. I walked ahead of her, because she was the type of girl that would want to pay for her food. I stepped ahead, requesting almost everything on the menu.

  Taylor was wiping a booth down with a brown, scratchy napkin. Crumbs fell to the floor, she frowned but sat down once nothing was on the bench or table. If she was this picky, I could only imagine what it must be like rooming with Lea for her.

  I couldn’t help myself. I slid on the other side, amused. “How’s rooming with Lea?”

  “I clean her side of the dorm, too.”

  Not wanting to talk about my sister, I changed the subject. I wanted to know more about Taylor. I didn’t matter if she asked me questions, I could ignore them for now. I just needed to know her.

  “What made you chose ETU?” I asked.

  Picking up her fork, she pushed her food around. “I wanted out of my house, but at the same time I wanted to be near my mom.”

  “You lived with your dad?”

  She shook her head. “No, I lived with both. My mom and I get along. My dad’s a preacher. To say he was strict would be the understatement of the year.”

  “Daddy issues, nice; my plan will work,” I chuckled.

  She balled up a napkin and threw it at me, but I slapped it away. I was surprised she opened up so quick. Something told me she wouldn’t be honest with me.

  “Asshole!”

  “Now you’re cussing? What would your dad have to say about that? Sorry, I’ll stop,” I smirked. Her smile dropped, and I felt horrible.

  “So what’s your major?”

  “Undecided. I know. Typical freshman answer,” she said.

  “No, business it the typical freshman answer,” I said.

  When I was in my fraternity, all of the brothers were business majors. Not me, when I got my life together, I would help people. I was going to counsel people like me.

  “What about you?” She asked.

  Motion caught my sight. I turned, finding a couple arguing outside. The guy saw me and grabbed his girlfriend’s arm and shoved her in his car. Anxiety bubbled in my stomach. This was a sign that would be me with Taylor. I needed to step away from her before she developed feelings for me.

  “I’ll never understand that…” She said, annoyed.

  “What?” I asked, tearing my eyes from them. I grabbed all the trash, stuffing it on the tray.

  “Being in a controlling relationship,” she said, her face twisted into disgust.

  “We don’t know what that was about. They were probably drunk and he didn’t want her to get arrested. Cops are everywhere in this town,” I said.

  “You’re right.”

  I held her green eyes until she looked away. There was something more to her than I knew. I wonder if her ex-boyfriend was controlling. I know I need to step away, but each passing second is harder. With my addictions, and her comments about control, this is a train wreck waiting to happen.

  Yawning, she checked her phone. “It’s past three.”

  I stood, grabbing the tray, I threw it in the trash. I shoved my hands in my jean pockets, walking to my car. I didn’t open her door for her and I didn’t talk. I should taper off this fascination.

  “You didn’t answer any of my questions,” she said. She was painfully close to my ear.

  “I know.” You aren’t ready.

  “Huh uh, you aren’t getting off that easy,” she said, shaking her finger at me.

  I laughed once, “What do you wanna know?”

  “The basics, where are you from? Any brothers or sisters? Just the things you asked me. It’s only fair.”

  “I’m from here, and I’m not an only child,” I said. That covered the basics.

  “You have the rare talent of answering a question without actually answering the question. I haven’t seen someone do that since my dad.” />
  I almost laughed out loud. “Comparing me to a preacher? Can’t say that’s ever happened.”

  “You won’t forget that, will you?” She pouted.

  “No, I probably I won’t,” I laughed.

  “What about your parents?”

  “I lived with my mom. I don’t see either much,” I said, anxiety was bubbling in my chest. I had told her more than I’d ever told anyone with that one sentence.

  “Why? I thought you said you’re from here. Did they move or something?”

  “No, I’m just busy. My mom understands.”

  “And your dad?” She asked, and a knife twisted in my gut. I gripped the steering wheel, laughing without humor.

  “I’m sure he’d like to see me more.”

  The rest of the drive was silent. I slung my car next to hers, hoping she wouldn’t get out so soon. She was staring out the window, avoiding me.

  I leaned over, reaching for her arm, when she turned. I studied her mouth, her plump lips were begging to be kissed. She pulled away from me and jumped out of my car.

  “I had a good time. Thanks for dinner,” she yelled over her shoulder.

  “Taylor, wait!” I said, jumping out of my car, running after her. She stopped and waited for me to speak. “I’m not going to kiss you. Unless, of course, you ask me to,” I smirked.

  “Trust me, I won’t,” she said. Her face was unreadable as she slid in her car. That stung a little.

  “Goodnight Taylor,” I waved as she drove off.

  12

  CONTROL

  I hadn’t been to appointment with Dr. Moore in weeks, but I barged in his office today. He didn’t act surprised to see me, he probably knew I’d fuck up and come back. He pushed his glasses up and took a seat behind his desk.

  “Sit, please,” he said, pointing to the chair in front of his desk.

  “So, the last time I was in here, you mentioned going on a date,” I said, getting right to the point.

  He looked as amused as he possibly could. He had to know it happened to me. “I remember. Go on.”

  “I met this girl at work. We haven’t really gone out or anything, but there’s something about her…But I don’t think someone like me should get involved with anyone.”

  I don’t know why the fuck I’m here. I leaned back in the chair, resting my hands behind my head.

  “So, you like this girl?”

  I thought about that for a moment. “She doesn’t get on my nerves like most girls, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  He nodded, opening a file, he wrote something down before looking back at me. “What about her do you like?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “She’s quiet. She never talks, but when she does she calls me out on my shit. It’s pretty funny,” I said, thinking. “She’s probably just a friend.”

  “What else?”

  “I think she has a past…She seems like she’s running from something like me. Maybe not as bad.”

  “So, you think you have problems in common?”

  “Maybe. I keep thinking about asking her out, just to see how it would go.”

  “Why don’t you?” He asked, leaning over the desk.

  I sighed, I’ve never been completely honest with him. I would be on a fast track to rehab if I was, and that’s the last thing I want. I can beat this on my own.

  “I think I have the tendency to get addicted to things.”

  “Because of your father?”

  “Um, yeah, sure,” I said. “I already think about her all the time and wonder how I can hang out with her…I think if I asked her out, it could be bad for her.”

  He nodded, knowingly. “It sounds like a crush. You aren’t going to get addicted to this girl, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  Yes, I will. I think I already am. I’m using her as ultimatum to quit coke. “So, it would be okay to ask her out?”

  He smiled, “Yes, you need to see that you can do it. Have faith in yourself. I think it would be productive for you to be involved in a healthy relationship.”

  ****

  When I got to work, I was pissed. We were shorthanded. Jace called in sick, leaving us with a crazy night. I grabbed drink orders and cash, returning with drinks for the waiting hands. I ran my hand over my face, scanning the bar. Taylor was in the back and Shea was scrambling around the floor.

  I jogged to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I check the two stalls, finding no one inside, I dumped a small line out. Not enough to mess me up, because I was quitting soon, just enough to get me through the night.

  I wiped my nose and walked back to the bar. I was getting better. Soon, I would be good enough to ask Taylor out.

  Taylor was walking over with a drink order in her hand.

  “Whatcha got?” I smiled, taking the paper from her.

  I read over the scribbled mess, then walked over grabbing four taps for her. I handed her two of them, and walked around the bar with the other ones.

  “Uhh, thanks but you don’t have to do my job,” she said.

  “You’re new and I wanna help,” I said.

  “Do you do that with everyone?” She asked, eyeing me closely.

  “No,” I said honestly.

  She rolled her eyes and blew the side bangs from her face. I sat the drinks on the table, glaring at the guys as I walked off.

  A group of guy’s stumbled in the bar, Corey was among them. My fists were already clenched. He threw his arm over Taylor, sloshing his drink on her. I took a step toward him, but she pushed his arm off and stepped away. I stood at the bar, watching and listening to them.

  “What will it be guys?” Taylor asked, her back was turned to me.

  “Well, that depends on when you get off.” Corey said. I stared at him with my jaw clench; I was going to fucking kill him. Just wait until the next time I saw him alone.

  “Okay, listen Dude, if the jokes stop, I’ll wait on you. If you can’t help yourself, one the guys at the bar can help you. Now, what can I get you to drink?”

  I was proud of her, but I was seeing red. When she walked up, I looked over her shoulder glaring at the ones that were brave enough to check her out.

  “Are they giving you problems?”

  “Nah, I handled it,” She said.

  “Lea dated one of the douchebags. If they give you any problems, come find me.”

  “You don’t have to protect me. I have two older brothers that do that,” she said, smiling at me.

  “Yeah, well, they are not here right now. I mean it.”

  She completely ignored me and walked around to Eric. He gave her the drink orders, and I stepped in, grabbing them before she could.

  “Let me take these. Check on the table next to them,” I said, walking off before she could stop me.

  “Hayze!” She seethed, stomping her foot at me.

  I slammed their beers down, getting their attention. They all looked at me, startled with wide eyes. Corey smirked, pretending he wasn’t afraid of me.

  I looked directly at him. “I didn’t like you when you were dating my sister, and I damn sure don’t like the way you’re talking to Taylor.”

  He looked over my shoulders. “Taylor? You mean legs?”

  I grabbed the collar of his shirt, and his grin vanished. “I’ll drag your worthless ass out and beat the fuck out of you if I have to,” I said, releasing his shirt.

  He adjusted his collar, sitting back in his seat. “Jesus, Man, it was just a joke.”

  “Leave her the fuck alone,” I said, heeding one last warning.

  As I walked off, I heard him get brave again. “I wonder what she’d think if she knew everything about you.”

  I clenched my jaw, but kept walking. I warned him, and that was my last one. I didn’t like that douchebag in high school and I don’t like him flirting with my girl.

  I mean Taylor, she’s not mine. She’s just a friend…Like Shea. I don’t like guys fucking with Shea either. I don’t have feelings for Taylor. She’s just a fr
iend.

  13

  THE FIGHT

  “What’s going on tonight?” Joel asked as soon as I walked into the apartment. He was sitting on a bar stool with a drink in his hand as usual. What started out as fun, was becoming routine. We were always fucked-up out of our minds with a different girl every night. Joel craved it, and I was getting fed up. Some days I wanted to throw the beer out of his hand and kick his ass out.

  “Taylor and Lea are going to her parent’s house, so I’ll probably just stay around here,” I said.

  He coughed into his hand, trying to cover his laugh. “What does that have to do with you?”

  “I don’t know, I just like hangin’ out with ‘em.”

  “Surprised you aren’t goin’ to her parents. Might as well, she has you by the balls, dude.”

  “Fuck off,” I said, walking to my room. I emptied my pockets on my table and changed from jeans to athletic shorts. When I walked back in the kitchen, Joel was pouring himself another drink.

  “Jenny and Kassi are comin’ over later,” he said, bringing the rim to his mouth.

  “I’ll stay out of your way,” I said, crashing on the couch.

  “Stay out of my way? What the fuck happened to my wing man? Kassi needs to be entertained…”

  I shrugged, turning on the flat screen, flipping through the channels. “I’m not feelin’ up to it tonight.”

  He stomped over, standing in front of the couch. “Dude, get out of the slump you’re in. You’ve been actin’ like a bitch for a week.”

  I picked a show, threw remote on the opposite side of the couch, and leaned back. “I’m not acting like a bitch.”

  “Wanna know what I do when I get like this with a girl?”

  I looked at him, amused. He’s never had a girl hold his attention for longer than five minutes. “What do you do?”

  “Fuck them. She’s hot as hell, I get it. Stick it in, get it over with and move on.”

  I rolled my eyes, annoyed with him. There was a part of me that wondered if he was right, but I couldn’t do it.

  “Who says I haven’t already?” I asked, bored with the conversation.

  “It’s about damn time, Kassi tonight,” he said.