Ruined (The Hazed Series Book 3)

by Brittany Butler

  “Well, do I know her?” She asked, annoyed by this point, but I was having fun.

  “You do,” I said, nodding.

  “Just freaking tell me!” She leaned back and threw her hands up.

  “Freaking?” My brows shot up.

  “Yeah, I’m trying to bring that word back. Don’t change the subject. Who’s your sister?” She asked, pointing at me.

  “Only if you promise to stop using that foul language around me.” I was stalling. I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it. This was something Lea and I talked about before telling people, but now Taylor was demanding an answer. “Lea’s my sister.”

  “What? Why didn’t you tell me?” Her jaw dropped.

  “She doesn’t like telling people,” I said. That was half the truth…. Everything that came out of my mouth was half the truth, but it was better that way.

  “Why?”

  The bearded guy stops in front of our table, reading our order off. He dropped our order off, then walked away. Taylor pushed her plate to the side, leaning closer.

  “She doesn’t get along with our dad,” I said. Again, that was half of the truth. I unfolded my silverware, and looked at my food, hoping she was done with the conversation.

  “Do you?”

  Calm down, she doesn’t know anything. Every time someone asks about my parents, it’s like I’m trapped in memories. They all come flooding back to me, not leaving until I’m completely out of my mind.

  “What’s up with the third degree, Taylor?” I asked.

  “Sorry,” she whispered, looking down.

  Her face fell and slumped back in her seat. I felt bad, but fuck, I wasn’t ready for this shit. If I got involved with her, she wouldn’t accept my answers forever. She asks questions all the damn time, it’s like a hobby for her, and eventually my bad attitude and clipped answers won’t be enough.

  I ate my food with no problem, but Taylor barely touched her food. I knew it was because I snapped at her, but she didn’t say anything about it. I wiped my mouth with a napkin, and finished my beer.

  “I was going to take you out but I’m tired as fuck. We can go back to my place and watch a movie, if you want?”

  I want to be near her, but I can’t be out right now. I’m tired as fuck from last night and I’m on edge from no sleep. We walked outside, and I opened the door for her. I popped a couple of pills in my mouth, before sliding in the driver seat. I knew I would need them today; I always get anxious after long nights.

  With a simple crossover, we are at my apartment. Taylor looks around the apartment before sitting on the couch. I walked over and pointed to my shelf.

  “Here, pick something out,” I said.

  I tossed her the remote and collapsed on the couch. The pills had hit me, and I no longer felt like someone was sitting on chest, suffocating me. I leaned back and closed my eyes, waiting for her to pick a movie.

  ****

  Groaning, I felt around the couch. I cracked an eye open, peaking around the living room. She wasn’t anywhere in sight, so I sat up, listening. She was probably in the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes and stood up, stretching.

  Her shoes weren’t by the door and her purse wasn’t on the kitchen bar. I walked in the kitchen, opening the last cabinet. Everything was still in there. So, she didn’t snoop through the apartment, then leave when she found something shady. If that were the case, she would’ve thrown it away.

  Joel’s door was closed, and there wasn’t light coming from the bottom, but I knocked anyway. I kept knocking as I panicked. What if he did something to her. She wouldn’t fall for Joel’s shit, would she? What if Jay came by?

  I grabbed my head, tugging my hair. Fuck, this could be bad. I paced around the apartment, looking. I knew I shouldn’t bring her over here. There’s too many shady people in and out all damn day long.

  I walked back to the living room, standing at the bar that separated it from the kitchen. I gripped it, thinking. There was a piece of paper that hadn’t been there before. I grabbed it and read it.

  I left after you fell asleep. 936-555-1917

  I shoved the note in my pocket, and grabbed my keys as I headed out the door. I parked on the curb outside of the dorm; right beside the angry red letters, informing not to block the entrance. I walked inside and pounded on her door until she answered.

  “I’m coming! I’m coming!”

  She opened the door, finding me leaning against the wall, holding the note in my hand. She looked embarrassed. As annoyed as I was, I was glad nothing had happened to her.

  “So, this is what it feels like to be left while you’re sleeping?” I asked, pointing to the note. Her jaw flew open.

  “You are such a pig!”

  “Never said I wasn’t,” I said, walking past her. I scanned the room, noting Lea wasn’t here. I laid on the bed, patting the bed, wanting her near me. “Why’d you leave? We were havin’ fun.”

  “You passed out… with your head in my lap,” she said. Her brow cocked, eyeing me.

  “So? You probably watched me sleep, played with my hair, and other weird shit girls do.”

  Her face heated instantly as she shook her head. “Not even close.”

  “If I pass out while we are hangin’ out just wake me up, seriously.”

  She nodded in response. I sat up, leaning closer to her. Her wide green eyes, were dancing between my eyes and my lips.

  “Well, you shouldn’t do that to girls. Maybe it was a wakeup call,” she whispered, watching my mouth.

  That was all it took for me. All restraint melted from my body. “Maybe it was.”

  I pressed my lips to hers, briefly, pulling back to see her reaction. Her eyes were closed, and she looked at me, dazed. I grabbed the back of her head, pulling her mouth back to mine. This time, parting her lips with my tongue.

  I understood the kissing shit now. I was infatuated before, waiting for something to happen, and wondering what it could be like if it did. But it was different now, I was hooked.

  She leaned back, pulling me with her. Her hands traveled down my back, playing with the hem of my shirt and I pulled back. I couldn’t rob her of her first time. I got up, standing at the foot of her bed. She looked disappointed, but she didn’t say anything.

  “That was a first for me too, ya know?” I said, breaking the tension.

  I knew she was wondering why I pulled back. And that makes two of us…I just couldn’t let her first time be with me right now. She didn’t know a thing about me. She should know what she’s getting herself into before she gives all of herself to me.

  She looked at me, clearly disgusted. “You don’t bother with kissing? You just go straight to home plate?”

  I wish. “Nah, pulling away from you, having enough respect to stop.”

  “You never cease to amaze me. You made yourself sound like an asshole and a saint all within the same sentence,” she said, shaking her head.

  Laughing, I crouched in front of her, placing my hands on her thighs. I kissed her again, and pulled back before my head got fucked up again. Jesus, this was gonna be torture.

  “See you tomorrow?” I asked, hoping she would say yes.

  She nodded, smiling, “Tomorrow.”

  I walked to the door, leaving her on the bed. As I walked to my car, knowing that I had just changed everything. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing. On one hand, she’s helping me use less each time I see her. But I put her in danger every time she’s around me. I got in my car and cranked it, but didn’t leave.

  I had to be careful with this girl. I was becoming dependent on her to change me. Everyone touch, every kiss, every word I share with this girl has the power to change my path, but I could fuck up her future.

  17

  JEALOUSLY IS AN

  UGLY THING

  After class, I was walking to Taylor’s dorm to ask her if she needed a ride to work. I wasn’t sure why, or if she would agree, but I couldn’t get her out of my head after yesterday.

 
As I was passing a coffee shop, I heard a familiar laugh. One that could pierce a hole through my eardrums. Lea’s blonde hair was easy to spot. I jumped over the patio fence, walking toward them. I pulled a chair out and slid in beside Taylor.

  She smiled briefly, pulling her straw in her mouth. She was wearing a tiny pair of shorts and a tank top, with shades that covered her green eyes.

  “What are you doing over here?” Lea asked, smirking. She could be such an asshole.

  “I was going to the dorm, you saved me the trip,” I said, ignoring Lea.

  “Why were you going to the dorm?” Lea asked.

  “Just seeing if Taylor wanted a ride to work.”

  “That sounds promising. Taylor, what do you think? Do you want a ride?”

  I looked at my dumb little sister, holding my hand up, like I was saying what the hell are you doing? It wasn’t enough that I liked my little sister’s best friend, but now that she had caught on, she was patronizing me.

  “I’d love a ride,” Taylor said, snapping at Lea. Apparently she was annoyed, too.

  I looked between them as I stood up. “You two are so fucking weird. I’ll come by in an hour,”

  I said. I leaned over and placed a kiss on her lips. “I’m going to change.”

  I walked to the parking garage, slid in my car, and grabbed a Mystic shirt in the back. I slipped my shirt off, tossing it in the back, and pulled my work shirt on. I always kept clothes in my car. I never knew where I might end up.

  I gave her a few minutes before I went to the dorms to pick her up. I knocked on the door, smirking when she answered the door. She had put on make-up and left her hair down.

  “Ready?” I asked.

  The drive to work was silent. She stayed on her phone most of the time, and for some reason unknown to me, I was annoyed.

  I parked at the back, facing away from the bar, and shoved my keys in my pocket. I leaned in and kissed her, pulling back to quick to see her reaction. She peaked up at me, frowning.

  “That’s all I get?” She asked.

  I pressed my lips to hers, lingering. When she tried to part my mouth, I pulled back.

  “You’re gonna make me late, woman.” I said as she giggled. “Fuckin’ insatiable.”

  I took my hand in hers, and she let me, until we got to the bar. She dropped my hand and raked her fingers through her hair. I glared at her.

  “What?” She asked.

  “You don’t wanna be seen holding my hand,” I said. I pressed my mouth in a hard line, and walked ahead of her. She walked through the door and stopped before we got in the bar.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t need to, Taylor.” I was pissed, but mostly at myself. I’ve never wanted to be seen with a girl in public, much less touching one, why am I pissed over this? Who is she to have my head so fucked up?

  “I just don’t know if we should walk into the bar holding hands.”

  “Why? You don’t want other guys to see?” I asked. Her jaw dropped, and she shoved past me. I jogged up, catching her wrist to stop her. “Taylor, stop.”

  “What!” She snapped, turning around.

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” I said, running my hand down my face, frustrated. I didn’t know how to explain it to her when I didn’t understand it myself.

  “Whatever. Let’s talk about it later,” she said, too nonchalant for my liking.

  “No, we’re talking about it now!” I tried to keep my voice low.

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “I just don’t think it’s appropriate to walk in our place of work holding hands. Now move!”

  She walked off, finding Shea. They sat down in the other room, talking. Shea looked back at me once, so I knew what the topic of their conversation was. I stalked over to the bar, ignoring the other douchebags that I work with. I started straightening, and anything else that would take my mind off the fight.

  “Doors are open,” Randy said, walking through the bar.

  When Taylor walks in, she’s frowning. The bar is quiet but steadily filling up as Friday night’s crowd bursts through the door. Eric and Jace are greeting tables, and I’m at the bar, pouring drinks.

  I’m pretending to ignore her, but I keep stealing glances her way. She walked to a table of girls, a few of them are familiar, and gets their orders. They’ve had their sights fixed on me, and I’m hoping they don’t say anything to Taylor.

  An even louder group comes in, and Corey comes staggering in behind him. I didn’t realize I was squeezing the glass in my hand until it shattered. I shook it off, and wrapped a towel around my hand, and swept up the mess.

  “Taylor!” I could hear him yell.

  Shea walked up, handing me a drink order. I read over it and got to work.

  “Are you busy?” I asked her.

  She shook her head. “Not too bad.”

  “Good. Get that table,” I said, pointing in the direction of Taylor.

  She laughed, “She’s gonna be pissed at you, Hayze! What’s gotten into you?”

  I handed her the drinks she needed, and watched Taylor, making sure that douche didn’t try anything. “Nothing. Just don’t want anyone to mess with her.”

  “Umm, I think the word you’re looking for is jealous,” she said.

  “The fuck I am,” I said.

  She shook her head, laughing as she walked off. “Sure. Thanks for the drinks.”

  When Taylor walked over, I grabbed the order from her hands. I looked over her, searching for Shea, then back to her.

  “Shea’s taking that table.”

  Her fast screwed into anger. “Why?”

  “She doesn’t have a table yet,” I said. I filled the beers to the rim and sat the on the bar for Jace. Taylor was searching the room. How hard would it be to just do what I ask? I’m not doing it to be an ass, I just don’t like that guy and she needs to stay away from him.

  “She has that one,” she said, pointing to the table Shea was greeting.

  I looked up, pretending to care, and shrugged my shoulders. “Oh, guess you are right. Well, she wants your table.”

  “You mean you asked her to take it.”

  “Same difference,” I said. I moved around her, exchanging orders for drinks.

  “No, Hayze…You’re not going to control me,” she said. Grabbing the drinks, she walked off. I stormed in her direction. I grabbed her arm, attempting to pull her back to the bar to talk. “Taylor,” I pleaded with her.

  “You are insane, that guy is actually being really nice to me. I don’t need you to save me,” she said, shoving past me.

  “You are new, Shea handles this all the time,” I said.

  “I’m not going to hide every time some drunk idiot comes in the bar. He’s fine tonight.” “Yeah, well we’ll see what happens when he gets a few drinks in him,” I shouted, walking away from her.

  “I’ll handle it. You don’t have to keep an eye on me just because I’m your sister’s best friend,” she said. That was a low blow.

  “You know it’s not like that.”

  “Whatever, Hayze, I honestly don’t care,” she said.

  With my jaw clenched, I walked to the bar. I thought she was helping me. At first, she was taking my mind off drugs, but she pushed me harder than I’d ever been pushed. She constantly questions me, does the opposite of what I asked, and has started prying like my answers aren’t satisfying to her.

  Each time she goes back to Corey’s table, I see red. I could walk up and knock his worthless ass out just because he’s talking to her. She’s pushing me on purpose. Sanity or drugs, I guess that’s my battle.

  As the night went on it was clear she was avoiding me. She didn’t ask for me, instead she found Eric every time she needed drinks. When the bar closed, she sat by Shea, counting their tips together.

  “Nineteen is sneaking up on you,” Shea said. I snapped up, looking at her, confused. Why wouldn’t she tell me?

  “What…When?” I asked, sliding in the booth beside her.<
br />
  “Halloween,” she said, still not looking at me.

  Shea folded her arms across her chest, leaning over the table. “Just so you know, we’re throwing a party,” she said.

  “No! We can go out or something! No party!” She whines, looking between the two of us.

  “We’ll think of something. We still have time to decide,” Shea said.

  I grabbed the trash bags behind the bar and walked to the back, throwing it with the others. I watched my step, as I stepped through the kitchen. With no regard for anyone else, the cook sprayed the floor with water constantly.

  When I got back to the bar, Shea and Taylor were gathering their things. Shea looked over Taylor, cringing, and walked away.

  I walked up, wrapping my arms around her middle. With her hands on my chest, she pushed me away.

  “You ready?” I asked.

  “Actually Shea said she would give me a ride, since we are in the same building. I don’t want you to have to drive out of your way,” she said, taking a step toward the door.

  Fuck.

  I wanted to bring up the fights we had tonight…. I needed to apologize, but I was full of pride. I couldn’t admit that I was wrong, just as she couldn’t. I grabbed the keys, shrugging.

  “Okay,” I said, nonchalant.

  “See you tomorrow,” she said.

  She walked outside, heading toward Shea’s car. She was pissed, and this was my last attempt to make her think of me tonight.

  “Hayze,” she said, breathless. I planted a kiss on her cheek, winking as I walked off.

  “Goodnight, Shea,” I said. She waved once. As they climbed in the car, Taylor still looked caught off guard.

  When I got home, Joel was locked in his room. Probably with some chick. I walked in the kitchen, looking through the liquor cabinet. I sniffed out the whiskey like a dog, then poured a stout drink. I didn’t need anything to mix it with, I filled it to the rim and walked to my room.

  I kicked my pants off and threw my shirt on my floor, crashing to my bed. I chugged more than half of the drink. My eyes burned, but I went back for more.

  Each time I was around her, I fucked up more. I wanted to be near her; I wanted to protect her from my shit and everyone else’s. Why couldn’t she see that?