Ruined (The Hazed Series Book 3)

by Brittany Butler

  I could see it in her eyes, she was done giving me chances. I had one more attempt to prove myself; her birthday.

  Steadying my swimming brain, I walked over to my closet, pulling out that box I never look at. I opened the dusty thing, searching. All my old concert shirts were still in here.

  My dad drug me to every classic rock concert in Texas when I was a child. It wasn’t the best bonding experience, but it was all I had. I thought about these damn things each time Taylor hummed along to one of the classics.

  She was making them turn into a happy memory instead of the haunting tunes I only listened to when I was fucked up. I pulled the box from my closet and shoved it by my bed. She may never know the meaning of them, but I wanted her to have them. I wanted her to know she was changing me. In ways I never were possible.

  18

  NINETEEN

  I folded the blanket full of memories in a perfect square, tucking it into the gift bag. I fought with the tissue paper before it finally gave in and looked half-ass decent. I put the bag on the bed, looking around. My room was clean. So was my house.

  Lea took over the party, so I had nothing to do except wait. She would be here soon, knowing Lea. I walked in the kitchen, anxiously. My body was being pulled to that bottom last cabinet, but I refused to give in. I grabbed some whiskey and a glass, making myself a drink.

  I sat on the couch, sipping my drink, mindlessly flipping through channels. I heard someone passing by my door. As they stopped outside, I could hear yelling. I sat my drink on the table, and walked to the door, checking it out.

  With all the shady people Joel paraded over here, you never know what could happen at this place. I swung the door open, relieved when I saw Lea, Taylor, and her brother.

  “I thought I heard shouting out here,” I said, looking around them.

  “And you opened it? What if it was an angry mob of women?” Lea asked, pushing passed me. It could be worse, and she knew that.

  “This is my brother, Scott. Scott, this is Hayze,” Taylor said.

  Until she spoke, I was trying to avoid looking at her. I knew I’d see red, and with her brother here, the last thing I wanted to do was ruin the night.

  I shook her brothers hand. “Hayze.”

  “Scott,” he said.

  My eyes fell down Taylor’s body, taking in the black, metallic material stretching over her curves. Some sort of ears was on top of her head. I shook my head, annoyed.

  “Jesus Christ, Lea,” I said, walking to my room.

  “Tonight should be…Fun,” Taylor said, clearly annoyed.

  I ignored that. Tonight was going to be fun. I grabbed the bag, nervous. I fluffed the paper up one last time, sighing.

  “Hey Taylor, come here for a sec,” I yelled.

  Pushing my door open, she walked in. She smiled as she took the bag from me. I shoved my hands in my pocket, waiting for her response. She may not understand this gift, but I’m hoping that she understands I’m giving a piece of myself to her.

  She pulled the blanket out, looking at each square. Last minute, Lea found someone to make my concert shirts into a blanket. I didn’t want them anymore, but I couldn’t throw them away; it felt right that she has them.

  “Hayze. Where did you get this?”

  “I went to these concerts with my dad, they were shirts and I had them made into a blanket for you. You sing every damn song that plays in my car. Seemed like the perfect gift,” I said, downplaying my gift.

  She looked at it again, inspecting the square with Nirvana on it. That was the night my dad made me stand in line for hours, waiting to get backstage for a signature. I drove us home that night because he was falling over drunk. I got lost on the way home, and he punched me in the side of the head while I was driving. It’s hard to drive with a concussion, but I finally managed to get us home after he passed out.

  “I can’t accept this. This is too much,” she said, handing it to me. No, it’s too much for me to keep it.

  “I want you to have it. They have bad memories attached to them now.”

  She looked at me with her nose crinkled. “What kind of bad memories? Do I really want this?” She asked, clutching the blanket to her chest. “Kidding.”

  “A tale for another day, c’mon,” I said, pulling her hand.

  “It’s my birthday and I say we have time,” she said, stepping closer to me. “What’s the plan?”

  Reminding myself that her brother’s outside, I walked to the door, waiting for her. “To pack nineteen birthdays into one, happy birthday, Taylor,” I said.

  She walked up to me, standing too close. I wrapped her in my arms, giving her a small kiss on the lips. Reluctantly I pulled back; nothing would ever be enough with this girl.

  “Now I’m afraid,” she said.

  I couldn’t help myself, I laughed. She had no idea, but she had every right to be afraid around me. “As you should be, sweet Taylor.”

  She folded the blanket up, putting it in the bag and tossed it on the couch when we walked out. I was turning into a chick. I wanted to know why she didn’t show them; I wondered if she was embarrassed about it.

  “Finally, let’s go!” Lea said, throwing her arms up. She was in my kitchen with a bottle of vodka, and I was positive she was already drunk.

  “Where am I meeting you?” Scott asks as we left the apartment.

  “Alley is first on our list,” Lea said.

  “I’ll only be able to stay for that one. I’ve gotta get back,” Scott said. He pulled his phone out, checking the time. He climbed into the ridiculously large Chevy truck as we got in my car.

  Like I suspected, The Alley, probably along with every other bar in Texas, is crowded. I slowed my car, letting some chicks pass by. Then accelerated, and found a space in the back.

  “Lea, why did you make me wear this? I look like the sorority girls,” Taylor whined.

  “No way, you look way better,” Lea said. I had to agree with Taylor. That outfit was ridiculous, but it was her birthday, so I kept my mouth shut.

  Once inside we flashed the guys at the desk our ID’s and walked into the crowded room. Decorations line the hallway, and the bartenders hustle around dressed in costumes, and fog dominated the room. Just like every other year.

  “You have a fake ID? This just keeps getting better and better,” Scott asked Taylor.

  “That was me,” Lea said, winking at him. She shoved her way to the bar and moments later reappeared with a tray of shots. Shea walked up, wrapping her arms around Taylor.

  “Happy birthday!” She said.

  “Four shots from the four of us,” Lea said, setting the tray on the table next to us. I glared at her, waiting for her to say she was kidding. “C’mon, drink up. All at once, let’s see it.”

  “Lea, this is like her third time to drink,” I said. She looked at me then to Taylor, shrugging.

  “Scott, what do you think?” She asked, wanting to piss me off.

  Scott shrugged his shoulders, grinning. “I think she should do it.”

  “Guys, you do know that she is standing right here? I can speak for myself,” Taylor said, pointing to herself.

  “Well, birthday girl, what do ya say?” Lea asked, leaning over the table.

  Lea picked up a shot glass, dangling it from side to side. Smiling, Taylor grabbed it from her, bringing it to her mouth, she hesitantly tilted her head back, sending the vodka down her throat. She picked up the second, third, and forth, knocking them back. I glared at Lea as she clapped victoriously. Taylor would end up puking her guts up tonight, and I knew Lea’s drunk ass wouldn’t be able to take care of her. She’s staying with me tonight, and if she wants to be pissed at me tomorrow, she can be.

  Her eyes are already glossed over as she swayed, trying to stand.

  “Hayze, you wanna shoot a round of pool?” Scott asked.

  “Why not,” I said, shrugging my shoulder. I walked to the table grabbing a stick. I chalked it up as Taylor and Lea sat at the table near us. I didn�
�t look at them as Scott broke, I was too pissed.

  I thought it would be a good thing, having Lea around Taylor, but I was wrong. The innocent girl that stumbled into the bar a couple months ago was long gone, and Lea was the ring leader of her change. I wanted to keep her the same; I kept her hidden from my shit for that very reason.

  When I heard Taylor laughing, I looked over. Her hand was covering her mouth as she laughed into Lea’s shoulder. God, she’s drunk.

  “So, you and my sister?”

  I turned finding Scott watching me with narrow eyes. How I felt about this girl was obvious to everyone around me.

  “She’s a friend,” I said, truthfully. Again, partial truth, but she wasn’t my girlfriend. I was afraid to ask. Afraid she would say yes, and afraid she would say no.

  “You look at her like she’s more than a friend,” he said, taking a sip of his beer. I didn’t have time to respond, some girls walked up and began talking to him.

  Ignoring him, I aimed for the last ball, ready for the game to end. My stick hit something behind me; I turned, finding some chick behind me, leaning against the pool table next to us. She was smiling, waiting for me to say something to her.

  “Can you move?” I asked, gesturing to the game going on in front of her.

  She huffed, embarrassed and stalked off. Lea laughed loudly as she always did when I sent girls walking. Scott walked over to me, shaking my hand.

  “Good to meet you,” he said, looking at Taylor. “Be good to her.”

  I nodded, “Will do.”

  He walked over to Taylor, wrapping his arms over her shoulders. He gave her a quick hug and stepped back. “Tater Bug, I really hate to leave, but I have gotta get going.”

  “What a shame, it looked like you were really getting somewhere with your new friends,” Taylor said, giggling. Lea rolled her eyes.

  “Thanks for coming,” she said.

  “Don’t let anything happen to her tonight,” Scott said to Lea.

  “Wouldn’t dream of it,” she said, smiling.

  After Scott leaves, Lea is bored with us and drags Shea to the dance floor. I pulled a chair out, sitting next to Taylor. There was a part of me that felt bad about not speaking to her, but she and Lea needed to calm down.

  Movement catches my attention; I looked, finding Taylor tugging on the outfit, pulling it up at the chest. Seeing that she was uncomfortable in this environment, I relaxed a little.

  “I have a hoodie in the car, if you want it, it’s yours,” I said, watching her with amusement.

  She looked around, probably looking for Lea. “That would be great, actually.”

  We walked from the bar, and I waved my arm band to the guy at the desk, and he nodded his head. She stumbled twice, giggling. I grabbed her waist, guiding her to the car. She threw her arm over my shoulder as I supported her weight.

  When I got to my car, I unlocked it and opened the trunk. I grabbed a black hoodie, balled it up, and tossed it to her. She pulled it over her head, flipping her hair out. She looked down, smoothing the hoodie over her thighs.

  “Thank you,” she said, smiling.

  “No…Thank you,” I said, smirking. She shook her head, confused.

  The crowd on the sidewalk roared; We looked over, finding someone lying on the parking lot, laughing as they tried to stand.

  “I don’t wanna go back in there,” she said.

  I slammed the trunk, and opened my driver-side door. “Slide in,” I said.

  She slid in on my side, clumsily passing over the consul. I sat down and slammed the door, putting us in a quiet, closed-off place. From experience, being alone with a drunk girl, isn’t where I need to be right now.

  I stared out the window, watching students stagger by. I gripped the steering wheel as I finally look at her. We can’t keep doing this, guessing where we are and how we feel. For her sake, I’ve fought it, and I know she’s too shy to say anything.

  “I’ve been fighting this daily struggle... You see, I could be good and walk away right now. You could be free of my shit. You wouldn't be sucked into my life. But that's not what I want. That may make me a selfish asshole, but I want you to be by my side," I said.

  "And I’m not going anywhere," she said. With a sigh of relief, I relaxed. I’ve been waiting to hear her say that. But I know deep down, if she knew everything, things would be different.

  "I hope so, Taylor. More than that, if you do put up with my shit, I hope you don't end up hating me."

  “Why would I hate you?” She asked, laughing. “Hayze?”

  I thought about telling her for a minute, but I didn’t want her looking at me the way everyone else always had. “I hope I never have to answer that question,” I said.

  “You’re talking in riddles, and I’m drunk. Cut me some slack,” she said, giggling.

  I should tell her something about myself. I rack my brain, thinking of something small to start off with, and one-day lead into everything. She has the right to know, and oddly, I want her to know something about me.

  She crossed the idle barrier, climbing into my lap. For someone like her, she’s impatient. I should ask her to get back in or her seat, or suggest we go inside. Instead, I grabbed each side of her face, studying her glazed, green eyes before leaning in to kiss her.

  I keep it slow, but she’s not having it. She fumbled to remove the hoodie, and tossed it in the back seat. I keep my hands on her back, refusing to explore her. I wouldn’t belittle her by letting her first time be drunk and in a car.

  When she tugged on the bottom of my shirt, I stopped her.

  “I’m not having sex with you in my car,” I said.

  “Since when do you have morals?” She laughed, and I frowned.

  “Since you came around, and believe me I don’t like it either,” sighs, “But I can’t let your first time be in a car.”

  “Who said this was my first time?” She asked defensively.

  I laughed at her, and her face turned red. Even if Lea hadn’t told me, I would’ve figured it out. There’s something about her that sets her apart from every girl I’ve been with.

  “You wanna go back in?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I guess we should. Lea’s probably wondering where we went,” she said and her mouth morphed into a frown.

  I leaned it, holding her face between my hands. “Nineteen,” I said, pressing my lips to hers. “To a night you will never forget.”

  When we got back inside the bar, Shea and Lea were completely trashed. I rolled my eyes as Lea insisted we do more shots. Taylor accepted each one, but I declined. Someone had to be the mature one tonight. Who the hell would’ve thought that would’ve been me? As I watched Taylor, dance with Lea and Shea, bringing in her nineteenth with a bang, I knew I couldn’t let this happen any other way. I sat on a chair, watching her on the dance floor with a smile on my face.

  “Are you here alone?” Some girl approached me.

  I didn’t even look in her direction. I kept my eyes on the dance floor. “Nope.”

  I heard her sigh and storm off. Chuckling, I looked in her direction as she left. She wasn’t even someone I would’ve been with before Taylor. Everyone gets brave and desperate at the end of the night. They think they can find a stranger at the bar to take home and get their minds off things, if only for a night. But that shit doesn’t work. Finding someone who makes you want to be a better person, and tell your secrets to, that’s what works.

  Last call boomed over the speakers, followed by complaints. When they came back from the dance floor, I stood from the chair, ready to leave. Shea found whoever she rode with and left us alone.

  “You guys are staying with me,” I told Lea.

  She shrugged, staggering backwards. “As long as you feed me, whatever.”

  I slung my arm over Taylor’s shoulder, leading us out the back exit. My car was just a few feet away. Lea was belligerent, yelling song lyrics at the top of her lungs, and dancing as we walked to the car.

  With her face, nest
led in my neck as I helped her walk, Taylor laughed. I could tell she was about to pass out when we got in the car. It worried me. She had probably never drank this much before and I didn’t know if she could handle it well. I would be up all night with her.

  Lea climbed in the backseat, and I pulled it up, helping Taylor inside. She practically fell in the seat, groaning. She sat up, resting her hands between her legs.

  “I don’t feel so good,” she said,

  I’m an asshole, I know, but all I could think about was my car. I grabbed her, scooting her over until her legs were on the ground as she sat in my seat. I grabbed her hair, holding it back just as threw up.

  Lea erupted in laughter. “Oh my god, Hayze! She threw up in your car!”

  I rolled my eyes, annoyed with her. Something about being around my sister while she was drunk was always too much to handle. “Yeah, I know. I was there.”

  I looked around the car. It didn’t get anywhere, and it looked like she was finished. I helped her back inside and close the door. Jogging around to the driver side, I got in and left the bar before she could get sick again.

  “Turn on some music,” Lea, said, tapping on my shoulders.

  I looked over to Taylor. Her head was hanging slightly as she slept. “No, it’ll wake her up.”

  “Don’t be a bitch,” she said,

  I ignored her. I turned into the parking lot of my complex, getting as close to my door as I could.

  “Why did you tell her you’re my brother?”

  “I wanted her to know,” I deadpanned. I opened the door, pulling my seat up to let Lea out. I walked over to the passenger side.

  “Why? Are you guys dating?” She asked, following me.

  I sighed, “No, Lea.”

  I opened the door; leaning down, I slipped my arm under her knee and one behind her neck as I lifted her.

  “Well, you act like you like her,” she said.

  “That wasn’t a question.”

  I opened the apartment door, and laid Taylor on the couch. She had thrown up on her shirt. Groaning, I rubbed a hand down my face.