Lani's Makeshift Family

by Lori Avocado

  A gust of wind nearly knocked her against the tree and brought her back to the present. Swiping her hand across her face, she turned and ran toward the cabin.

  Inside, Lani flung off the parka and went into the living room. She had no idea how long she’d be alone with the girls. Surely Nick would come back as fast as he could. Carefully, she stacked starter wood in the fireplace and lit it. A small flame burned into the twigs so she added several larger logs. After the fire caught, she closed the screen and checked it several times to be sure no sparks could fly out. She held her hands out to the heat pouring from the hearth.

  The girls were awake. Their babbling floated down the hallway, warming Lani inside as the fire warmed her outside. She headed to their room. Once she changed the girls, Lani took them into the kitchen to feed them. While she boiled water for the oatmeal, she sensed they were looking around for Nick. She shut her eyes and prayed her daughters were not going to get hurt once they left—as she knew their mother would be. While she stirred oatmeal into the pot, Alexa started babbling louder and louder.

  “Ni, Ni!”

  Lani’s hand froze above the steaming water. Alexa was trying to call Nick. Lani gave the oatmeal a quick stir then turned down the burner. “Nick…isn’t here, sweetie.” She turned to look at the emptiness outside the window. “He’s gone to find a way to get us…home,” she whispered.

  The rest of the morning Lani played games with the girls, although she had a hard time concentrating. She kept looking out the window. She’d never been afraid of living alone, and there sure was no reason to fear anyone coming around the cabin earlier, but now there was the frozen river. Worry ate at her thoughts. Being stuck there with the girls became scary.

  What if…oh God, what if something happened to Nick on the way into the town? He said it wasn’t very far, but in the freezing cold, and snow-covered ground, he could have slipped or—

  Her hands clenched into fists. She had to stop this. With the girls in the playpen, Lani went up to the library. Maybe she could find a book that she could read to them—anything to keep her from constantly looking out the window.

  The library had a faint scent of cigarettes burned long ago. She knew Nick hadn’t smoked anywhere in the house anymore because of the girls. He hadn’t smoked outside whenever she’d seen him either except for the time he tried to tell her about his wife. He really must have quit, she realized, since lately she hadn’t detected the obvious scent on his breath. Not just stopped around the girls.

  Looking at the titles of the books, she knew they’d be a blur of confusion if she read them to the girls. She’d searched through all that she could reach, so she decided to look on the upper shelves. Climbing the ladder, she felt like a librarian in the early 1900s. The ladder was beautiful with shiny brass decorative railings, old wooden steps and a small landing on top.

  Lani sighed. No better choices up there. As she started down, a thin blue book jacket caught her eye. She pushed until the ladder rolled to the left and leaned to reach the book that was tucked away on the highest shelf. When she pulled it out, she stared. The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss. Sitting on the ladder, Lani opened the inside cover. Her eyes misted as she read through the blur:

  To Nicky, my firstborn. Happy Birthday!

  Love, Daddy

  Lani’s hand shook as she turned the pages. Childish crayon squiggles dotted the pages. A tear dropped onto the page, a circle of sorrow soaked into the paper. She wiped at her eyes, not wanting to damage something that wasn’t hers.

  It belonged to Nick—a present to his son.

  She held the book to her chest. But when she’d asked if he had children…he’d said no. Actually shouted no, and when she’d tried to compliment him that he’d make a good father, he….

  Lani’s heart twisted as she shut her eyes. Nick’s son must have died in the fire with his wife, and he couldn’t deal with the loss. That’s why he’d started out avoiding the girls until her illness forced him to take care of them. If only she’d known, maybe she could have made their situation easier. Had she pushed her daughters on him, and deepened his pain? No, she knew his caring for Ana and Alexa was real.

  At first, she’d resented his intrusions, but because he’d been a father, he knew how to care for her girls. Despite her earlier doubts, she’d learned from him.

  She stood to put the book back where she’d found it and noticed several children’s books were tucked in that section of the library. Gingerly, she opened a few. Most had been marked up with crayon. The last one she could reach was a book entitled, Baby’s First Book. Lani felt as if she were spying, but she needed to know more about Nick’s past so she might help him deal better. He’d said she was able to get him to face his past…his loss, but obviously not entirely. She held the book for a few seconds, unable to force herself to open it. At a friend’s baby shower, she’d seen a similar book by the same company whose sticker was on the back cover. You sent the birth and family information to the company and they printed a hard cover children’s book from it.

  Holding her breath, she opened it. Emma. He had a daughter too. Emma Hunter, Nick’s daughter. Lani ran her finger around the picture taped on the inside cover. The baby had her father’s mahogany eyes.

  Quickly, she tucked the book into the exact spot she’d found it and climbed down the ladder. Nearly tripping on the stairs, she ran down to the living room. The girls hadn’t even missed her. They played happily in their playpen.

  Lani scooped up her surprised daughters. “I need a hug,” she murmured. “I just need a hug.” She nuzzled the two and took them into the kitchen. Although she knew she’d never be able to force down a bite, it was near lunchtime, and the girls needed to be fed.

  The meal passed quietly, as if the twins missed having Nick around as much as Lani did. She put them in their crib for an early nap in case Nick came back and they needed to leave. They’d be miserable as traveling companions if they got over-tired.

  She had to be ready so while the girls played in the crib, Lani decided she should start packing. There really wasn’t much, but a heavy feeling hung in her heart as she packed to leave Nick’s cabin.

  It seemed like only yesterday when she had stumbled upon the cabin in the rainstorm. She smiled thinking of her first encounter with Nick. At least she hadn’t hurt him too badly. So much had happened in the short time she’d been here, known Nick, enjoyed the feeling of being like a family.

  Alexa had learned to walk, Lani found a side of herself that she never knew existed—bravery. Even though her attempt to try to shoot the bear to save someone was foolish. Not just any someone, but the man she had fallen in love with in the magical cabin. She’d learned to be a more confident mother and could take care of two babies without relying on her book anymore. Common sense had always been part of her makeup, all she needed to do was rely on herself.

  Lani looked to see the girls asleep and headed to her room to pack. Once everything she brought with her was neatly inside her carryall, she tidied up the room. She wrote a check to Nick for the food she’d used and tucked it into her carryall. She made a mental note to give it to him when he came back. Of course, he’d refuse, but she’d leave it on the kitchen counter on her way out.

  There wasn’t much she could do to repay all Nick had done for her and the girls. Although he’d probably not even notice, Lani started to clean—she had to take her mind off leaving. The bathroom sparkled, not a speck of Nick’s hair could be found on the floor, although he’d supposedly cleaned up in there that day she’d cut his hair. She smiled.

  In the living room, she carefully took the decorations off the Christmas tree and saved them in a bag. No way would she throw them out. She’d take them home and use them every Christmas—as a wonderful reminder.

  Not sure if Nick would come back to stay once he took them into town, she decided to be safe. The tree couldn’t be left inside since it would get too dry and possibly catch on fire, so she took it out to the backyard and stood it, sti
ll in the bucket, against a large tree. Maybe birds would enjoy the little pine and build a nest in it.

  After the kitchen sparkled clean, Lani went to look out the window. She’d forced herself to stop looking for Nick, and it was a bit easier as she cleaned like a mad woman, but now, she needed to see if he was coming. Nick should have been back by now. Soon it would be dark.

  Once the babies woke from their nap, Lani served the rest of the turkey soup for supper. It was fast to heat up and she sure didn’t feel like cooking. She shoved the curtain to the side and leaned as far over the sink as she could. A dusky cover had fallen on the woods. Through the leafless trees, she could see the area where Nick had crossed the ice, but like a still life, nothing moved outside.

  No sense in trying to ignore her worry. She feared something had happen to Nick and silently prayed she was wrong. Knowing he’d say not to waste her worry, she forced herself to forget. Taking the girls into the living room, she played a game of find the ball to busy her mind.

  Alexa squealed each time she uncovered the ball, causing all three to laugh. Suddenly Lani fell silent. She’d heard something in the kitchen. A knock? “Nick? Nick!”

  Setting the girls in the playpen, she ran into the kitchen. The room was empty. A knocking sounded on the back door. Maybe he didn’t want to walk in and scare her. “How silly. You don’t need to knock—”

  Her breath held when she opened the door to reveal two men standing on the porch.

  Two state troopers.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lani couldn’t force herself to speak, her heart beat in her throat. The state troopers looked at her as if she were ill, and she didn’t doubt she looked it. She knew the color had drained from her face and her skin looked as white as the snow drifts behind them.

  “Ma’am? Are you all right?” one asked.

  She managed a nod. “A man, Nick Hunter, he was here…where is—” She bit her lips.

  “Mr. Hunter is fine…”

  Lani sighed and grabbed tighter on the doorknob.

  “Mr. Hunter called us when he came to town. He gave us directions here….”

  She knew the officer was speaking, but her mind was a blur. Nothing he was saying made sense. Nick…sent them? If he was all right, why didn’t he come back—

  “Are you sure you don’t want to sit down, ma’am?”

  Lani pulled her thoughts to the officer. “I’m sorry—” Her throat constricted as she stepped aside. “Please come in out of the cold.”

  “I’m Officer Johnson and this is Officer Dana. Mr. Hunter told us how you’ve all been marooned out here.” He shook his head and removed his hat. “Lucky everyone was all right.”

  All right? Lani’s heart broke into a million pieces. Nick sent the police to get her and the babies. Why didn’t he come back for them? Where was he? As if the cold outside air gripped her heart, she wondered, would she ever…see Nick again? “Did Mr. Hunter say where he was going?”

  “No, ma’am.” Officer Johnson answered almost sounding confused that Lani even asked such a question.

  But of course she wanted to know where Nick was. She needed to know. Why wouldn’t she care why the man she loved didn’t come back? Didn’t even leave a note.

  “We don’t mean to rush you, Miss Cabot, but it’ll be getting dark soon. We understand there are children here—”

  “My daughters.”

  “Could you possibly bundle them up and collect your things? We’ve got a snowmobile outside to take you to town.”

  Lani managed a nod and turned toward the living room, her limbs heavy with dread.

  “Oh, Miss Cabot. Mr. Hunter said to tell you he notified a Marjorie Cabot in Plattsburgh, said she was your—”

  “My mother,” Lani whispered. Tears stung her eyes at the relief that her mother knew they were safe. “Thank you, I’ll be a few minutes getting the girls ready.”

  “Mr. Hunter gave us these things for you,” Officer Johnson added.

  Lani could tell by his tone that he knew she was shocked to see them and not Nick. She reached for the plastic bag as if the officer held out a snake. Clutching the bag, she said a silent prayer that Nick had put a note inside.

  In her bedroom, tears ran down Lani’s cheeks as she pulled out a yellow and then pink snowsuit from the bag. The perfect sizes for her girls. Sale tags dangled from the sides of hats, mittens, and two scarves. He’d put in ones her size too. When she reached into the bottom of the bag, she couldn’t control her sobs. Pulling out a small box of disposable diapers, Lani’s heart twisted.

  Nick had thought of everything—except a note.

  Minutes later, Lani shielded the twins against the wind as the two snowmobiles glided across the snow. They’d made it over the frozen water without any problem, but the state troopers went one at a time to be sure. She shut her eyes against the mist of snow that blew from beneath the snowmobile. Darkness hid the winter wonderland and the mechanical hum of the snowmobiles shattered the peaceful silence Lani tried to lock in her memory.

  But every time she shut her eyes, Nick intruded. How could he have just left—without even a good-bye? As she had readied to leave the cabin, she walked through the rooms in a daze. Miraculously, she managed to dress the girls in their new snowsuits, and herself in several layers of clothing. She couldn’t bear to take Nick’s parka although she knew he’d tell her to.

  On her final inspection of the cabin, her heart tore deeper inside as she made sure every light was turned off and closed the door to each room—and the door to her memories.

  Officer Johnson was kind enough to put out the fire and assured her the cabin was safe. She shuddered beneath the blankets they’d tucked around her and the girls when she thought of another fire. Nick couldn’t take that. When the troopers had secured her and the girls in the snowmobiles, she couldn’t look back.

  Lights of a town sparkled below the hill. This must be how a prisoner feels when the gates are unlocked for him to leave, only she regretted leaving the magical prison she and the girls had been released from. Her heart ached to think of the time they’d spent there as gone…forever.

  She’d never forget it or the way her little ones had changed there. She’d changed, too, though, and now felt as if a part of her had been yanked away.

  At the base of the hill, the troopers had their car parked. Earlier they’d said Nick had given them excellent directions to find the cabin and rescue her.

  But who was going to rescue her heart from the pain she felt?

  An hour later, Lani settled the girls in their own cribs in the hotel where the state troopers had brought her. Her mother was on her way, but not for a few hours, so she decided they would spend the night. Time had been a blur since she opened the kitchen door to see the two police officers. She had to make a conscious effort to keep from looking out the window. Each time she pulled the drapes to the side, she looked for Nick. Flopping onto the bed, Lani shut her eyes and willed the pain to go away.

  She thought she didn’t have any more tears left until her mother arrived three hours later. When Marjorie held her for so long, each sobbing on the other’s shoulder, Lani had found a new supply.

  The next morning they left the hotel and arranged to have Lani’s car found and towed to a local garage for repair. Marjorie insisted she’d drive Lani back here to get her car and follow her back to Utica when it was time. Tired and heartsick, Lani didn’t argue.

  As her mother turned onto the highway, Lani watched in the side mirror for a man with golden brown hair and a brown leather jacket, until the town was a blur.

  ****

  Nick sat in his rented Buick outside the white colonial house. He couldn’t see any movement and hoped they were home. The entire drive from Albany to Plattsburgh was a haze. As he sat there, like some cop on surveillance, he asked himself the same question over and over.

  Was he crazy?

  Each time he got the same answer. No—only in love.

  Pulling his leather jacket tig
htly, he opened the door into a gust of wind. The weak morning sunlight didn’t do much to warm the early January air. Luckily, the roads weren’t slippery since snow had fallen again yesterday. He’d tried to stop himself from coming, but after a week of self-pity, after a week of torment, he knew what he wanted.

  Nick walked up the front sidewalk, but before he got near the porch, he noticed movement in the back yard. With the cushion of snow, he hadn’t heard any noise. He walked across the front yard, sinking knee deep in snow. Near the gate of the fenced-in back yard he stopped—and watched.

  On her hands and knees with her back to him, Lani rolled a ball of snow. Alexa walked toward him, arms straight out from her body, her grin warming his heart. Ana toddled around Lani, eating a handful of snow. God, he couldn’t wait to hold all three of them.

  “I knew Ana would be walking soon!” he shouted.

  Lani looked up from rolling the snowman’s head and froze.

  “Hey, you could freeze off something real important like that, Cabot!”

  Cabot? Cabot!

  Lani swung around, knocking over the body of the snowman. Nick stood by the gate, holding Alexa!

  As if on cue, Lani’s mother came out of the back door. “I’ll take the girls in for hot chocolate,” she said, scooping up Ana.

  Nick held Alexa out to Lani’s mother.

  “Mom, this is…Nick. Nick, my mother.” She hated the weakness in her voice but shock did that to her.

  Her mother bubbled, “We’ve talked on the phone a few times. Nice to finally meet you, Nick.”

  A few times? She knew Nick had notified her mother when he first left the cabin, but he must have been in contact again. Before she could digest the words and determine if she should be angry with her mother—or him, he interrupted her thoughts.

  “Can we go somewhere and talk?” he asked.

  Lani motioned to the snow-covered picnic table, then felt foolish. Nick must have meant someplace inside. “I guess it’s too cold—”