Poison in Pumps

by Karen Anne

  “He ruined Jimmy Choos, he better be shaking.”

  “I told you I’d buy you another pair!” David raised his voice in anger.

  “You can’t afford another pair.” I regretted the words as soon as I said them.

  He looked at me like I had just smacked him hard across the face. Money was always a little tight with David. He wasn’t poor or anything, but he had very little when it came to savings. It was something that concerned my parents. They really liked David but had mentioned on several occasions that they didn’t think he would ever be able to actually support me. They had even spoken to me several times about ending things.

  Harry walked over. “I’ll take care of the cat.” David handed the kitten over to Harry and reached down and picked up my shoes.

  “And I’ll clean your shoes, Beauty.” His snark not lost on his accent.

  “Beauty?” I crossed my arms and looked at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means you just named the cat Beast.” He walked out and slammed the door. I looked around the empty room, aware of what a spoiled ass I had been. Shaking out my hair in frustration, I grabbed my yoga pants and tugged them on, realizing Harry had just seen me in my underwear. Wonderful. Well, we both had to get over it. I went next door into Harry’s room first. He was already in bed, sitting up with the little guy next to him.

  “Is the cat sick?” I asked, and I actually was concerned. Suddenly, the thought of losing him was startling.

  “I don’t think so. David bought cat food, but he needs kitten food, something a little easier on his tummy. That’s all.”

  I nodded, watching how the kitten was already asleep on the pillow next to Harry. Maybe it was better that he was staying here and not with me. I wasn’t ready to be responsible for a little life.

  Walking down the hall, I peeked around the bend to see David. He was standing with his back to me in his red flannel pants that hung off of his hips, shirtless, cleaning my shoes with disinfectant wipes. I came behind him and kissed the back of his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I said softly and wrapped my arms around his waist, my fingers tracing the indentations of his abs.

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

  I gave his shoulder a playful bite, feeling how his muscle flexed beneath my lips. “I’m the one that acted like a beast, not kitty.”

  David placed the shoe on the counter and turned around to face me. He took in a breath and swept my hair behind my ears, then kissed me softly. “I should have asked you before I brought home a pet.”

  “You should have asked me before you did a lot of things lately.”

  “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, kitten.” He took another deep breath, and I realized he was shaking. “I’m scared.”

  I wound my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. “Don’t be scared. You’re living your dream. How many people get to say that?”

  “I don’t know how I’m going to leave you.”

  I didn’t know how either, but I couldn’t fall apart. He needed me to be the strong one now. I could give him that much. “Well, you’re not leaving me today.”

  “Can we go back to bed? I need you close to me, in my arms.”

  I nodded. “Sure. I just have to do one thing first.”

  “What’s that?”

  I pulled a shallow dish out of the cabinet and headed over to the fridge. “Warm up some milk for my little Beast.”

  “I’m the worst mommy. Let’s order Chinese and spend the rest of the night outside these walls. Poor Harry must feel very uncomfortable, and I want to make sure the kitty is okay.” In an attempt to soak up our last remaining days, David and I had turned his bedroom into our private shipwrecked island. Not that I was complaining. The past twenty-four hours had been pure bliss, but now it was time to face reality.

  I tossed David a shirt and put my own clothes back on. When I went into the living room, I found a note from Harry.

  Went out.

  Cat was fed.

  I put him in my room with water and a litter box so he couldn’t cause too much damage.

  ~H

  It took me awhile to find Beast. He was in Harry’s closet, sleeping in one of his gym bags. “C’mere, rascal. What am I going to do with you?” I brought the purring kitten into the living room and sat on the couch while David ordered our dinner. When he got off the phone, he grabbed his guitar, sat next to me and Beast, and started strumming a relaxing melody of his own creation. I leaned against his shoulder and closed my eyes, wondering just how much things would change. This, right here, was us. We were in comfy clothes, waiting for take-out, chilling with a cat. Would our life become unrecognizable when his record was released? I wish I had a crystal ball to ease my growing anxiety.

  As if he could sense my fears, David switched his strumming to, I can’t help falling in love with you. “Sing for me, love,” he said, and the threat of tears began to well up inside me. But I did as he asked and sang along softly. Beast lifted his head when I started singing, looking at me thoughtfully. And so, I sang a little bit to him, giving him a private concert so he would know there were no ill feelings over my shoes.

  When the song was over, David looked at me seriously. “Why aren’t you auditioning at Juilliard for voice?”

  “We’ve been through this. I have better chances of getting in with an instrument.”

  “Your voice is your instrument. Your range is incredible.”

  “There are very limited seats for voice.”

  “I would think there would be even less for piano.”

  “Look, I applied for piano. I can’t change it now anyway, and with my work as a piano teacher, it looks good that I would want to study further.” That and I was too scared to be rejected for voice. Didn’t he understand? Voice was a gamble. No, piano was safe and smart, and I was a girl who liked to know her odds before she threw the dice.

  “I understand that, but you don’t belong in the orchestra pit of a Broadway show. You belong on the stage where everyone can see you.”

  “I didn’t realize the orchestra pit was something to scoff at.”

  “Kris, you belong on stage. Not in the pit and definitely not in a classroom for the rest of your life. You know it, and I know it.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with being a music teacher.”

  “I didn’t say that. It’s just, you have such fierce talent and—”

  “Well, we can’t always get what we want.” I knew what the competition was out there. I also knew what my odds were. As much as I appreciated his encouragement, I couldn’t afford to get my hopes up. Not with this. No, sticking to the plan was the safe bet.

  “I think you can.”

  I looked at the kitten asleep in my lap, dreaming peacefully.

  David placed a finger under my chin and turned my head to meet his gaze. “Hey, just think about it, okay?”

  “There’s nothing to think about. I can’t change my paperwork now.”

  “Your life is not set in stone. Just think about it,” he repeated.

  I thought about how just when David was losing hope, his record deal came through, and how I was only twenty-two and too damn young to give up on my own dreams. I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder. He made me believe in myself, believe that maybe we did indeed live in a world where anything was possible. Would I feel this confident when there was an ocean between us?

  SIX

  It was our first sorority meeting of the semester, and I was daydreaming about David winning a Grammy. Natalie was talking about her plans for this semester’s pledges, and everyone listened eagerly, adding their thoughts. Even Brit, who was normally quiet at meetings, was offering advice. She was the Pledge Mother last semester, and she had one of the most successful pledge classes we’d had in years, despite the fact that she hazed them by dying a portion of their hair different colors, but most of the girls liked their stripe, wearing the panel of bold color like a badge of honor.

  Natal
ie wasn’t interested in punk makeovers. She was already thinking fundraisers and talking about the possibility of putting on a show. She was currently investigating whether we would be able to rent the stage in the theater building of campus. The girls were very supportive, saying how they could save money by making costumes and already talking about which of the frat boys from ZDP would make good stage hands.

  I wasn’t listening. I was looking at the calendar and trying to see if there were any days that I would be able to fly to London and spend some time with David when he was gone. He still had no idea how long he would be away. And knowing that, I was trying to prepare myself for the worst. Weeks didn’t seem very realistic. Months was a more probable target. And what if it was years? My chest tightened at the thought, demanding more air. “I need to go,” I mumbled as I moved my chair away from the table and stood.

  “What’s wrong?” Brit asked as I pushed my chair back in.

  “Nothing. My head is just elsewhere,” I whispered back.

  I turned to discover Summer’s sapphire eyes glaring at me. She had lost the election to be president by one vote—Brit’s. That automatically made her my Vice President. I think she was always looking for a moment when I would mess up and she could sweep in and show the sorority how they had made a mistake and she was the natural choice.

  But I couldn’t just sit in that meeting knowing I had days left with the love of my life. I should be entangled in a heated, lovers embrace, not gnawing on a pencil losing my mind. As the days slipped by, bringing us closer to his departure, David was so calm. It freaked me out that he wasn’t freaking out. After his one moment of weakness in the kitchen that night, he pushed away all his anxiety and embraced his future. He was taking his move, his success, and our separation with stride. Must have been a British thing. Stiff upper lip and all that crap.

  I pulled on my coat, grabbed my purse and ran outside. Determined to give David a night he would never forget, I raced down the stairs, which was a big mistake because I went flying on a slab of ice and landed on my back. “Ow!” I cried as I landed with a thud.

  “Kristen?” I heard my name but was too sore to look in the direction it was coming from.

  “Yeah.” I groaned. “I’m okay… not really.”

  Jaime reached over, offering me his hand so I could get up. Of course Jaime of all people would be outside at the precise moment I was flat on my ass. When I stood, I instinctually reached for my butt. It was definitely going to be black and blue in a few hours. “Ow,” I whimpered.

  “You fell down the last three steps. Did you hit your head?”

  “No, I’m okay. Really.” I limped over to my car.

  “Where are you going anyway?”

  “David’s.”

  “Oh. Want a ride?” I looked at Jaime for the first time, seeing how sincere he was. Jaime always drove me crazy. He was a paradox. One of my closet friends, yet the one person who could get under my skin faster than a mosquito bite. It was rare that we could be in the same room and not bicker, and yet, case in point, we would do anything for each other. I looked over at his outfit. He was wearing a red and blue Ranger’s jersey, and I realized for the first time he had a hockey stick in his hand.

  “What are you doing?” I pointed to the stick.

  “Oh. I’m going to play hockey with Erik.”

  “Since when do you play hockey?”

  “Since Erik asked me to. That and…” He leaned on his stick and looked like he had already said too much.

  “What?” I didn’t have time to pull information out of him. I glared at him, and he opened up right away.

  “Rob and I have been fighting a lot lately.” It was rare for Jaime to refer to Beaver as Rob. It was like getting a glimpse into their secret life. “I thought a new hobby might not be the worst thing.”

  “Oh.” I was so caught up in my personal relationship crisis I hadn’t even taken a moment to look around me and see how my friends were holding up in theirs.

  “But… listen.” Jaime leaned in and looked at me seriously. “You can’t tell Brit, okay?”

  “That you guys are fighting?”

  “No, that I’m playing hockey with Erik.”

  “Why? Were you two supposed to give each other manicures later?” He makes me snarky. I don’t know how or why, it just happens.

  “Ha, very funny. No. She just doesn’t really like when Erik or I…”

  “Hang out?”

  “No.” He shook his head with conviction. “Play rough.” I laughed at that and was immediately greeted by a searing pain in my side. I must have hit that spot on the stairs, too. Ow. Jaime ignored me and continued. “She just worries about us. I broke a few ribs last year, and Erik had that car accident. If it were up to Brit, she’d dress us in bubble wrap and have us indoors all the time.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “You know she has a nurse complex.”

  “All right, maybe it’s a little true,” I conceded. “But I don’t like lying to her.”

  “You’re not lying. You’re just not mentioning it. We just want to feel like guys tonight, without Nurse Brittany looming over us.”

  “I won’t mention it tonight. Tomorrow’s a different story.”

  “Fine, I’ll warn Erik. Still want that ride?” I realized Jaime was holding my elbow like I was a brittle senior citizen. He really did care, and it was hard to feel competitive with him in this moment. Maybe I wouldn’t tell Brit after all.

  “Yes, please.”

  We were a few blocks away from David’s place when I asked the obvious question. “What are you and Rob arguing about?”

  “Oh…” Jaime ran his hand across the back of his neck. “He wants to come out to the frat.”

  I nodded and looked out the window. Our inner circle knew Jaime and Rob were together, but that’s where their secret remained. When Jaime came out to his parents last year, his father beat him so bad, he wound up in the hospital— hence the reason for his broken ribs. Rob’s family was far more accepting, but they lived in California, and I often think Rob felt very lonely without their support.

  “And you disagree?” I asked just to be sure.

  Jaime winced, and I could tell he was thinking of his father. “Most of the guys are cool, but there are some assholes. Ya know? They wouldn’t get it. We have months until graduation. I’d prefer to just keep things as they are.”

  “Well, this is one area of your relationship that you have control over. If you’re not ready, Rob has to understand that.”

  “Thanks, Kristen.” He looked genuinely touched as he pulled in front of David’s apartment.

  “But don’t fight with him, either.” I got out of the car and leaned in to take a jab at him. “You two are perfect together. Don’t mess it up.” I gave him a wink, and he laughed. “And don’t break any bones tonight! Brit would kill me!”

  “Understood. Have fun with your man.”

  Oh, I intend to. I jogged up the stairs, wincing as my ass cheek throbbed in pain. Reaching in my pocket, I searched for my keys, but they weren’t there. I tore open my purse but just rummaged around aimlessly in the seemingly bottomless sack. Giving up, I knocked three rapid fire raps with my fist at David’s door. I had a thousand different scenarios racing through my mind. I wanted to launch myself into his arms, drag him to the bedroom and have the most intense sex of our entire relationship. My heart was slamming against my chest as I hoped I could be one of those girls that gives him the night to remember that he deserves. How do you make something you’ve done a thousand times new and fresh? I started to get cold feet as I realized how inventive I’d have to be, but I couldn’t back out now.

  I banged again, heard a mumbled “coming” from beyond the door and braced myself to get my sexy on. The door opened, and I had to pull back the reins so I wouldn’t collide with Harry. He was dripping wet, wearing nothing but a towel, and looking at me like he was slightly irritated. Shit. When he saw it was me, his face softened, and he ran a han
d through his thick, black hair, causing it to slick back as drips of water glistened down his face.

  “Sorry!” I said, feeling like an ass. “Uh… is David home?”

  “No. He went to CVS to get some last minute stuff for his trip.” A few water drops slipped over his mouth, and I watched as he licked them away. Oh hot damn… Brit had mentioned several times how hot she thought Harry was. I suddenly got what she saw in him. To me, he was always, Harry, David’s cousin. But soaking wet and wearing nothing but a towel… Hell, even I did a double take. Harry stepped aside so I could come in and closed the door behind me.

  “Oh,” I said as I shoved my hands in my pockets and tried to remove the veil of horny-desperate-girlfriend-on-the-edge-of-a-nervous-breakdown from my face. I glanced over at Harry, who was shivering in his towel. Goose bumps galore as he tried his best to cover himself and keep warm.

  “Kris?” Harry asked, and I jerked my head up, realizing I was gawking at his near naked body. He was blushing. That made me blush. This was so not going down the way I had it planned in my mind.

  “Yeah? What?” I tried my best to be nonchalant. Like I was totally cool with being in David’s apartment without David and having his hot cousin wearing nothing but a towel while I tried to erase the dirty thoughts intended for David out of my head.

  “Um… I’m gonna finish my shower… David should be back soon.” He put his hand on the knot of his towel to hold it in place and jogged back to the bathroom. Good call. It might be awkward if David walked in to find his cousin naked and wet and me just staring like a dog in heat. Not that I wanted Harry or anything, but I had just gotten my lady parts all fired up for David, and now they were running on autopilot.

  Shaking that sexy image out of my head, I wandered into David’s room and shut the door. I didn’t want to lose my momentum of making this an incredible, spontaneous night. I thought about getting in nothing but my lace panties and lying on his bed. Or wearing only his favorite shirt… or maybe stripping completely and wrapping my body around his guitar… or…