by J Santiago
“Lex, please,” she begged.
He turned in her arms so he could see her. Her eyes and face must have told him what her words did not. “OK, Lu. I promise.” His hands were gripping her shoulders. “Promise,” he said again, giving her the reassurance he knew she needed, always anticipating what she needed.
She looked at him, then at his mouth. It was probably his one imperfection. His lips were mismatched. He had a full bottom lip but a very thin upper one. It didn’t matter, of course. Drawing up her every reserve, fortifying her heart, she looked directly at him and murmured, “I want you inside of me, Lex.”
She hadn’t finished her sentence when he pushed her back against the wall of the balcony. His mouth ravished her, the forcefulness of the kiss making their teeth hit. Grabbing her upper thighs from between her legs, he lifted her up against the wall, securing her with his weight. By mutual consent, Lu wrapped her legs around his waist. He slipped his hand in his back pocket and pulled out a condom. He held it to her mouth and she gripped the corner in her teeth. She was naked except for Lex’s shirt, so no barriers marred his access. He was inside of her in seconds, filling her in a way she didn’t think possible. He pounded into her with more finesse than seemed right, with a wall at her back. He reached between them. It took one touch of his finger to send her over the edge. He held her as she clenched around him.
Then, still sheathed in her warmth, he moved her to the bed. He slipped out of her when he set her down. Kneeling at the edge of the bed, he turned her over on her stomach and pulled her down so her knees were at the edge and her ass was up in the air. Stifling a groan as he looked at her, his eye caught her tattoo. He wanted to ask her about it, but his thoughts were scattered. Unable to wait any longer, he entered her from behind, grabbing her hips and pulling her back into him. They cried out together at the contact. He couldn’t hold out any longer. With pent-up desire exploding, Lex filled her again and they found their release together.
12
They feasted on each other all night. A pattern developed. They would have sex, wrap themselves around each other, doze off, talk, and start all over again. Lu found herself liking him more and more. He asked her about everything, joked with her, and made her want him with a passion she hadn’t known existed. Exhausted and sated, they learned the ins and outs of each other again. He didn’t hold anything back in his questioning of her, even when the questions made her blush or think before she answered. Like his body, his mind was insatiable.
“Lu,” he said as he rolled her onto her stomach and moved his hands up and down her body. “Tell me about this tattoo? Why do you have a tramp stamp of a ship?”
Slightly mortified, Lu didn’t know how she forgot about her tattoo and that he would see it. His fingers outlined it over and over, running up and down the four masts, tracing the lines of it.
Breathless from his perusal, she answered carefully, “First of all, when I got it there, the term ‘tramp stamp’ didn’t exist.”
He moved his body down so that he lay between her legs, his mouth even with her tat. “Baby, that term has been around for a long time.” His tongue mimicked the lines that his fingers had run.
When he called her baby, she felt her whole body heat up.
“So, why the tribute to Columbus?”
She hated that he was intelligent sometimes. Why did he have to be graced with all things good? “It’s not a tribute to Columbus.”
“OK. What is it?”
She didn’t know how to throw him off. Her body and mind were completely pliable.
“It’s the Niña,” she said. Not really believing that she told him, she buried her head under the pillow, hating that he could make her stupid.
“And?”
“And what?”
“Why are you so stubborn?” he asked, smiling. “I know that I can get you to talk.” He murmured. He moved one of his fingers inside of her. “And why?” he prompted again. When she remained silent, he slid another finger inside her warmth. “You are so tight and wet, Lu,” he murmured.
“I can’t think when you do that,” she spat out, moaning despite herself, her hips starting to move against his hand.
He laughed. “Me either, actually,” he agreed before completely distracting both of them.
As he made love to her again, she forgot about her tattoo, his desire to know what it meant, and her reasons for trying to hold anything back from him.
Lex looked at the clock, startled to find that it was four in the morning. Neither one of them had slept much. He knew that he should, but he didn’t want this night to end. He wasn’t ready to face the reality of his father’s death and Lu provided an amazing distraction. He wondered briefly if it was Lu specifically or if any woman would have worked. But then he felt her move closer to him, like a heat-seeking missile, and he knew it wasn’t that he lost himself in a woman. It had everything to do with that woman being Louisa May.
And suddenly he needed to know.
“Lu, are you involved with someone?”
She stiffened in his embrace. “Why would you think that?” she asked, sounding pissed.
“I’m not sure,” he answered truthfully. “I feel like you’re holding something back. That you’re keeping something from me.”
She pulled away from him, putting space between them. Leaning on the headboard with the sheet wrapped around her body, she responded, “Do you really think I would sleep with you if I was involved with someone else? Are you that jaded and conceited that you think I’d sacrifice a relationship solely to sleep with Lex Pellitteri?”
He couldn’t help himself—he laughed. “Yes. I am jaded and conceited. Two traits that you have known about since you were six. So it doesn’t really count.”
She closed her eyes, frustrated and trying to block out his radiance. She didn’t want to argue this point too much. Because she did have a secret.
He tried to pull her closer to him. But she resisted. “Come on, baby. Talk to me,” he said, his eyes busy with mischief. He moved down the bed, grabbed her ankles and pulled her so that she was lying down again. His attempt to dislodge the sheet at the same time failed, so he gave it a good tug, leaving her exposed to his view. Settling himself between her thighs again, some place he found that he enjoyed an awful lot, and looming over her, he tried again.
“I thought maybe you were involved with someone because I’m not sure if you noticed but there seems to be this conspiracy to keep us away from each other—a conspiracy, I might add, I think you are involved in.” Leaning down, he kissed her spot, the one right below her ear lobe, right by her jaw, and like always, it turned her eyes to liquid desire. “So, at first,” he continued, “right up until the moment I was inside of you, I thought you were seeing someone.” Again, he got distracted by her eyes and her mouth. He moved in, kissing her hard and quick. “But when I got inside you, you were too tight and sweet to be sharing this,” and here, he moved down her body and licked her, running his tongue between the folds of her sex, “with anyone on a regular basis.” He dropped his head again between her legs and licked her. Then he moved his hand, plunging two fingers into her, making her cry out with desire. Caught up in her cries, he spread her with his other hand and sucked on her clit, making her come hard and quick, shaking with the force of it. He looked up at her wide-eyed stare and smiled that Lex smile, eyes dancing, mouth coated, watching her. He moved back up her body then, bringing his mouth down hard on hers again, sharing her taste. “So, baby, come on. Tell me what it is?”
For a moment, just a brief moment, she imagined telling him, right then, while he was between her legs and he could still taste her. Maybe she’d have a chance to make him understand. Perhaps he could forgive her and they could be a real family. But just as the thought of the three of them appeared in her mind, the bubble of her dream burst around her. He hadn’t thrown words of love at her. Lex had become a typical athlete as far as she could tell. Her observations—and there hadn’t been a lot—were of him with b
eautiful women, none of them lasting for long. And hadn’t Caroline told her that his attention span was short? She couldn’t get caught up in him. She had known that when she walked out onto the balcony. So she did the only thing she could think of to do. She turned the tables on him.
“So when do you head back to England?”
If her question caught him off guard, he handled it extremely well. “What’s today? Friday? I think I go back on Monday. I have a game on Tuesday. I want to be back for it.”
“Are you going to stay away for another eight years?” she pushed, trying to shift his attention, take the focus off of her.
He looked questioningly at her but didn’t seem to be uncomfortable yet. “I don’t know. I haven’t had time to think about any of this.”
He dropped his head, kissing his way across her collarbone.
She went for broke then.
“So this, tonight, it’s merely a distraction for you?”
Lex’s head snapped up and his body tensed. Lu breathed a sigh of relief. Pushing away she could do.
He didn’t say anything for a moment, merely stared at her. She knew he was trying desperately to frame an agreeable response, even though his face never gave anything away.
“No, Lu. Not a distraction. A homecoming,” he answered, his green eyes deadly serious, boring into hers.
He took her breath away. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t respond. She merely returned his stare, unable to look away.
“I don’t know what that means, Lu. I just know that being here with you, inside of you, feels damn good. And don’t we have a conversation scheduled for tomorrow?”
At her nod, he said, “Let’s leave all this for that time, OK? Can you do that for me?” he asked earnestly. Oh God, she thought, I know this look and those words. Before she could close off her thoughts, a vivid memory of Lex leaving her flashed through her mind. They were standing at the airport, the final boarding call echoing through the small terminal. Lex had pulled her into a hug, shifting so he could lay one hand on her stomach and keep her close with the other. “Take care of yourself and our baby,” he said. “Can you do that for me?” Did he remember too? She felt panic racing through her body. It made her squirm against him and that quickly got him aroused again. He took from her movement what he wanted to take from it and entered her quickly, sheathing himself in her heat.
“God, Lu,” he murmured as he moved inside of her, faster and harder, looking for his release.
She closed her eyes, protecting herself from his gaze, not wanting to get lost in his green depths. For the first time in her life, she wanted, needed, to get away from Lex. She wanted this to be over, she wanted him out of her. She needed their connection to be broken. But this was Lex and he wouldn’t settle for that. All or nothing.
He stopped moving, and before Lu knew what was happening, he took hold of her chin. “Open for me Lu,” he said, “open up and look at me.”
She shook her head slowly, imperceptibly. Refusing. “Lu, please. The only way I can get closer to you right now is to be able to look into your eyes. I need you to look at me.” His cajoling tone, the one he’d teased her with all night, was gone. His last words were a desperate plea. “What can I do, Lu?”
She thought about him pulsing inside of her and how unfair she was being, but she just couldn’t go there again with him. She couldn’t orgasm while staring dreamily into his eyes knowing that tomorrow he wouldn’t even want to look at her. It was all about the depths of his eyes for her. Sometimes, she felt like she could touch his soul. But she couldn’t leave him hanging either.
She pulled back from him, forcing him out of her. Without looking at him, she turned over and invited him to enter her the way he had earlier in the night. He accepted her invitation with a groan and filled her immediately. This way, he didn’t see her tears hit the sheets. And Lu didn’t have to see the look of confusion in his eyes.
13
When Lu felt Lex slip into a deep sleep, she got up. She walked over to the alarm clock on the nightstand in the room, picked it up, and set it for seven o’clock. Then she soundlessly entered the bathroom, grabbing her running clothes out of the stockpile of gear that she left there as she unpacked. Picking up her running shoes, she grabbed her funeral clothes and her makeup bag, and hurried out of the room, down the steps, to her car. She drove down to the next beach access, parked, and began her run. The moon still shimmered on the water and the stars continued to light the night.
She ran to the jetty and back, busting out three miles in a little over twenty minutes. Sweaty, salty, and sandy, she jumped back into her car and headed to her parents’. She’d shower and get ready at their house. Willa, Pete, and Lex could catch up with her. The less direct, solitary contact she had with Lex, the better. She hated that she felt like a coward running away from him, but she’d worked it out in her mind. And this was the best way. It didn’t stop her from longing for more—some way for a perfect ending to their story. But it wasn’t to be.
She pulled into her parents’ driveway at five forty-five. Following the porch around to the back of the house, she entered through the kitchen. She hopped in the shower in the vacant guest room, towel dried her hair, and donned some sweats. Glancing at her phone, she typed a quick text to Sky.
Are you on schedule?
She’d hoped for an immediate answer. When she didn’t get it, she slipped the phone into the pocket of her sweatpants and slid her feet into her flip-flops. Taking a deep breath, she made her way back out of the kitchen, across the path to Dr. J.’s.
Cresting the last step, she stopped in her tracks. Apparently, the avoidance game was over. Sitting in the chairs were her mother, her father, and Dr. J. Just what she needed—a fucking audience.
“Figured you’d be up and at it. How was the run?” her father said, amusement apparent in the lines of his face.
Rolling her eyes, Lu began her trek across the deck. “Got any coffee?”
“There’s a mug on the counter waiting for you,” her mother replied.
“That’s just fucking great,” she mumbled, softly enough that no one could make out what she said. As she made her way into the house, she felt her phone vibrate.
Sky: Yup. But I can’t text and drive so I couldn’t answer you right away. Lu: Haha. How’s my girl?
Sky: Excited to see you and family.
Lu: ETA?
Sky: 3:00
Lu: Be safe.
Sky: No shit Sherlock.
Sky: Are you ok?
Lu: Are you driving and texting?
Sky: No Mam. I pulled over. Are you OK?
Lu: Just fucking peachy.
Sky: Need to see your girl?
Lu: You have no idea!!!
Sky: Do anything stupid?
Lu: Yes. Eight years ago.
Sky: Can’t change that now. See you soon.
Lu tucked the phone back into her pocket and grabbed her coffee. She took a few sips. Biding her time. Then, knowing it was now or never, she took a long, deep breath and headed out to the firing squad.
When Lu came back out, Dr. J. and her parents halted their whispered conversation. Not that she cared what they were saying.
“Can I presume that my children were with you ladies last night?” Dr. J. asked.
“Yes,” Lu replied absently, not offering any other explanation but she caught sight of her mother’s questioning look. And she ignored it. She took another sip of her coffee, letting the silence become their fifth companion. She didn’t think she was trying to let them stew, but she may have been. It struck her when she saw them all together, waiting for her, that she was pissed. For the first time in eight years, she realized that she hated each of them just a little bit. It wasn’t overt. It wasn’t even enough to make note of—until right then.
“Dr. J., I want you to know how sorry I am for you. I have always admired your relationship with Mr. P. There always seemed to be this understanding between you two. And it was so obvious that he loved you and
you him. When I used to dream of having a relationship, yours was one that I held up as the pinnacle. And since I’ve had Nina, he has been my greatest supporter. Greater than the three of you combined.”
She stopped and turned away from them. Gathering herself. Thinking of and talking about Mr. P. was hard. She hadn’t meant to sound like a bitch or take anything away from any of them, but she wanted them to know how much his loss was going to affect her. She wiped away the tears from her face and slowly turned back to them. She looked over them—not at them, because she didn’t want to see the emotions playing across their faces.
“To see him with Nina made my heart sing. I don’t know how else to describe it. I know he found joy in all of the mannerisms that she inherited from Lex. I know he loved her because he could see his son in her. But it was so much more than that. He loved her because she was Nina. I think he died regretting the decisions that were made eight years ago.”
“Louisa May,” her mother said, shooting up out of her seat. “That’s enough. You are being incredibly insensitive.”
Lu stood there, trying not to glare at her mother. Please be on my side, she thought. Without meaning to, she looked directly into Josephine Pellitteri’s eyes. They weren’t green like Lex’s, but the soulfulness of his eyes he got from his mother. Jo reached out and patted Amber’s arm.
“It’s OK, Amber. She’s not saying anything I don’t know. And I bet she’s been sitting on this for a long time.” Jo never took her eyes off of Lu. Inclining her head, she granted Lu permission to continue.
Bitch, thought Lu. I’m reprimanding them and she’s giving me permission.
“I’m doing this my way. That’s what I came over here to tell you. Although I was going to tell you all separately, before you ambushed me.”
“Lu, we knew you’d come when you’d figured out what you wanted to do. This wasn’t an ambush.”