“Mark! Stop!” She hit me repeatedly in the back and then started kicking when I set her in the passenger side and buckled her in. I shut the door and ran around to the other side, throwing it in gear before she could escape.
“I swear to God, I will jump from this truck!”
“Now, Lollipop, don’t go doing something stupid like that because I will still take you to the restaurant, only you’ll be covered in blood.”
“I hate you right now.”
“I’m sure you do, but you asked me to help you and I swear to fuck, there will be someone that I can help.”
I hadn’t meant to say that last part, but maybe it was a good thing I had because she stopped fighting me and stared out the window. I drove out of town to the next town over and pulled into a small diner that I knew wouldn’t be busy. I took her hand and guided her inside, then got us a table at the back of the restaurant where there were no customers. It also happened to be close to the bathrooms.
“I need to be by the door in case I need to leave.”
“No, you need to be away from the other customers. If you’re surrounded by them, you’re going to be worrying about them instead of just enjoying yourself.”
I sat down in the booth and then pulled her in next to me. I made sure to give her the outside so that she could run if she needed to. She didn’t like feeling caged in and that had to do with being kidnapped, but also her need to escape the restaurant in a hurry if she felt sick.
A waitress in her fifties or sixties stopped by the table and gave us a harried smile.
“What can I get for you today?”
“Let’s start with water.”
She looked at me with a look of irritation. “Real big spenders today.”
“Janice,” I looked at her name tag, “we haven’t gotten a chance to look at the menu yet. What would you recommend?”
Janice started rattling off the specials, but all I could do was stare at Cara. She was trying to control her breathing and had a fine sheen of sweat breaking out across her face. I turned toward her in the booth and slid my hand over hers that rested on her leg and intertwined our fingers. When she squeezed my hand, I looked up at the waitress and told her to bring us two burger specials. She walked away and I used my other hand to brush a few strands of hair away from Cara’s face.
“You’re so beautiful, Cara.” My mouth was just an inch from her ear and I licked the shell before nipping the lobe with my teeth. I moved my hand to caress the nape of her neck as I continued to speak softly to her.
“When we were in the shower, it took everything I had not to take your beautiful nipples in my mouth and suck them until they were sore.”
I untangled my fingers from her and moved my hand up and down her inner thigh. “When I was washing your body, I was imagining what it would be like to fuck you in the shower. I’d push you up against the wall and slide my cock in and out of your hot pussy.”
I kissed my way down her neck, feeling the thump of her heart against my tongue. Her breathing was fast, but it had changed from the panicked breathing to the erratic breathing I heard when I got her riled up. I cupped her pussy with my hand and slowly started to massage her through her pants.
“Hmm.” She let out a little moan and then opened her eyes to see if anyone was watching. Her breathing changed slightly as panic started to set in.
“Nobody’s watching, Lollipop. I’d never let anyone watch you come. That’s all for me.”
I continued to rub her and kiss her neck, all while keeping an eye on our surroundings. I rubbed her harder and harder until I needed to feel how wet she was for me. I slipped my hand into her pants and groaned when I felt her wetness coat my fingers.
“Lollipop, if we were at your house, I would lick you to the last drop. Fuck, if this was my place, I’d shut it down and take you right here in this booth.”
I pinched her clit and pumped into her as her walls tightened around my fingers.
“That’s it, let go and enjoy it.”
I kissed her hard as I continued to massage my fingers in and out of her. When her pussy stopped throbbing, I pulled my fingers out and then put them in my mouth, licking them clean.
“Damn, you taste good.”
Her eyes were locked with mine, so many questions swirling, but I didn’t want to let her go there. I needed to keep her in this haze of lust. I kissed her softly and continued to run my hand over the back of her neck. When our food arrived, she swallowed hard and started fidgeting again.
“Here’s the deal, we’re going to eat until you can’t take it anymore. You let me know when you’re done and we’ll walk out that door. Simple as that, okay?”
She nodded and hesitantly picked up her burger. As she took a bite, I could see that she really didn’t want to chew it. Every movement of her mouth was difficult and when she swallowed, she quickly took a drink of her water. I smiled reassuringly at her and took a bite of my own burger.
“You’re doing good, Lollipop. Why don’t you try a fry and see if that sits a little better in your stomach.”
She did as I asked and when I saw the fry enter her mouth, my cock jumped to attention.
“Damn, I wish I was that fry.”
Her eyes sparked a little at that and she picked up another and teased me with the fry. Over and over, she used the fry like a dildo in her mouth. I had to adjust my cock so it wasn’t pushing into the metal of my zipper.
“I see you like the fries,” the waitress said as she came back to the table, and just like that our spell was broken. Cara placed her hand over her mouth and breathed deeply several times. When she looked at me, I knew she’d had enough. I nodded and she stepped out of the booth. I thanked the waitress and threw down two twenties. It was way more than our meal cost, but I didn’t have time to wait for the check. I wrapped my arm around Cara’s waist and pulled her toward the front door.
“Just keep breathing. We’re almost there.”
She nodded and when we reached the doors, she pushed through and took deep gulps of air. I rubbed her back as we made our way to the truck and then helped her inside. Getting in, I turned to her and grinned.
“You did great, Cara.”
She rolled her eyes and smiled. “Yeah, but I don’t think fondling me in public will work every time we go out to a restaurant. Besides, whatever will I do when our arrangement is over?”
I didn’t want to think about that now. I was enjoying our time together even if it would never be more.
“I’m sure we’ll eventually work our way out of me groping you under the table, but for now, I suggest we just go with it and have fun.”
“You’re terrible, Mark.”
I waggled my eyebrows at her. “Yeah, ain’t it fun?”
CHAPTER NINE
Cara
I COULDN’T BELIEVE we just did that in a diner, but he was right. It distracted me and took me out of my head for a little while. I had only eaten the fries, but I couldn’t tell you the last time I had been able to eat more than a bite before I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I hadn’t gotten sick this time at all and even though we still had to cut our trip short, it was still progress.
When he pulled into my driveway, he didn’t shut off the engine, so I took that as my sign to get out and head inside. Before I could open the door, he pulled me in for a kiss that was so indecent, I feared I would spontaneously combust.
“I’ll see you tomorrow night, Lollipop.”
I nodded and slid out of my seat. He pulled away before I got inside and part of me was a little sad that he didn’t wait around to make sure I got inside okay. I had to remember that we were just fucking and he was helping me. Neither of us expected more and I had to treat it that way.
Once I got inside, I texted Sarah that I would be over in the morning and thanked her for giving me the time I needed. She was understanding and told me to get my ass here early so that we could talk before all the kids got up. Early morning was our time to have girl talk before the li
ttle hellions got up and tore the house apart. I would miss our days together when she went back to work.
I made sure to be at Drew and Sarah’s bright and early the next morning. By the time Drew and Sarah came downstairs, I had coffee and breakfast on the table. Drew gave me kiss on the cheek and a big hug.
“God, I’ve missed you. Are you sure you’re alright to be here?”
“I’m good.”
“Look, about what Sean said-”
“You don’t need to worry about it.”
“I know you can handle him, but I wanted you to know that he was wrong to throw that in your face. I kicked the shit out of him after we left.”
“You did not,” I smiled.
His face turned serious. “Yes, I did. You’re like family to me and he is family to you. There’s no reason for him to speak to you that way.”
“Thank you. I appreciate you looking out for me.”
“So, you and Sinner, huh?”
“It’s nothing serious. We’re just having a good time and he’s helping me work through my issues.”
He nodded and smiled. “I’m glad you’ve got someone helping you. Just don’t bring him around Sean.”
“Why? Are you worried Sean will hurt him?”
Drew laughed. “Are you kidding? Sinner was Special Forces, a green beret. Sean can hold his own, but if Sinner tried, he’d have him down and out in two seconds.”
“So, you’re saying Mark was going easy on Sean?”
“Yeah, but don’t tell your brother that. I don’t know that his ego can take it.”
“What can’t Sean take?” Sarah asked as she entered the kitchen. “Ooh, you made breakfast.” She sat down and then I placed a mug in front of her, which she greedily scooped up. “And coffee! I missed you so much,” she said as she took a sip. Drew leaned down and gave her a kiss before devouring his breakfast in under five minutes.
“I have to run. We’re busy this week.”
“Okay, see you later, babe.”
Drew walked out the door and I sat down at the table with Sarah.
“So, tell me what happened.”
I recounted the whole story to her and she sat and listened to me without any judgment in her eyes. I finished with telling her what happened yesterday at the diner, which made her laugh.
“So it would seem Sinner is really as good as everyone says.”
“He’s very good,” I said, only slightly irritated by the fact that everyone seemed to know how good he was. “He got me out of my head and that’s what I needed.”
“So, how was it after Sean left?”
“It was hard. I mean, I’m doing okay now, but it was hard to hear him speak so callously about me.”
“Sweetie, you know he wasn’t trying to hurt you, right?”
“I know, but would you like to have all your mistakes thrown in your face?”
“No, and I don’t think what he did was right. I think Sean’s just scared. You’ve never told me everything that happened when you were taken and I don’t expect you to, but I’m sure he was very scared.”
“You know, I was so out of it when I came home that I don’t really remember much from the first few months other than being really scared all the time. I know it was hard for Sean to see me like that and I remember not wanting to be with my parents. They couldn’t handle it. My mom just kept crying and my dad just had this stern look all the time. I think my dad wanted me to just move on and my mom wanted to know what happened so she could fix me.”
“Drew said that he looked absolutely terrified when he walked in and saw you in the closet. I think Drew is still having a hard time with how he found you. He blames himself for not checking on you sooner.”
“Drew should know that it’s not his fault that I freaked out or that no one found me sooner. I don’t expect anyone to come take care of me like a child.”
“I know, but sometimes you have to let others help.”
I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my coffee. “Everyone keeps telling me that. How can anyone help me? No one’s ever been through what I have. The only person that knows what it’s like is Alex and there is no way either of us want to get together again and relive what that monster put us through. Although, between the two of us, she’s dealing with it a lot better than I am and she’s been through so much more.”
“You can’t know for sure that she’s doing better. Appearances aren’t everything and you know that.”
“Cole said pretty much the same thing.”
“You also have to realize that she has Cole to help her through all this. Maybe it’s just easier because she has someone that understands feeling completely lost.”
“So, I should find myself a strong man to scare away my demons?” I smirked.
“It sounds like you might have already found someone.”
I shook my head. “No, Mark is definitely not someone to rely on to be there until the end. The sex is great and don’t get me wrong, he’s been great as a therapy buddy, but he didn’t sign on for a lifetime commitment of crazy.”
“But he kind of did. He agreed to help you until you’re better and you guys are sleeping together. Don’t you think your emotions will start to get wrapped up in everything?”
“No, I know exactly what Mark can offer me and a relationship isn’t one of them. I’m not even asking for it. I can’t move on with someone when I’m so messed up. What we have is perfect. I’m getting fantastic sex and he’s helping me sort out my shit, and he’s getting sex on demand. It’s what works for us.”
“Keep telling yourself that, Cara. Maybe one day you’ll believe it.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“How are you feeling after our last session?” Dr. Penwarden asked. I sat across from him, knowing this would be an interesting session. After what happened last time, there would be no beating around the bush anymore. It was time to talk about what happened that day.
“I’m doing better now, but it was a rough few days.”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
I nodded and picked at a loose thread on the armchair. I couldn’t look at him when I spoke. I was afraid I would start crying.
“When I was taken, every day I was tortured just enough to scare me. That’s what he liked to do to his victims. He enjoyed watching his victims suffer and feel their fear. That last day, he used his belt on me and-”
I took a few deep breaths, but I couldn’t continue.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to get it all out today. Why don’t we talk about what happened here last time? You got lost in a memory.”
“Yes, it was of that last day.”
“Which was the worst?”
“Yes, I try not to think of that day because it drags me back into the past and takes me days to get over.”
“Tell me what happened when you left here the other day. What were you feeling?”
“It was like I was back there and then when I left, I could feel his eyes on me, but he’s dead.” I shook my head and shivered at the chills running through my body. “The whole way home, my mind was playing games with me. I didn’t know if he was dead or still chasing me. I think I was back in those first days after I was released from the hospital. I went home and I was so scared that I hid in the closet for two days with a knife.”
“And what made you come out?”
“My neighbor found me. He was worried about me because I hadn’t gone to help Sarah out with the kids. When he found me, he called Sean.”
“What did it feel like to see familiar faces after two days of being scared?”
“I wasn’t sure it was real. It took me a while to remember where I was and who was around me. I..” I brushed the tears from my face and bit my lip to keep from crying out. “I had wet myself.”
“And you feel ashamed by this.”
I nodded. “I feel like I was finally healing a little and then I took ten steps back.”
“Setbacks are normal in the healing process. Granted, thi
s was a large step back for you, but it’s not insurmountable. Why do you think you hid in a closet for two days?”
“I already told you, I was scared that he had come back for me.”
“But why were you scared? You know he’s dead and he can’t come back.”
“Because of what we talked about at my last session, what happened with Mark. It brought it all back.”
“Why do you think after all this time that these memories are coming back? You said this hasn’t happened in years.”
“Because I haven’t been put in the position to remember what happened. I stay away from situations that could bring on those memories.”
“Could be,” he smiled at me.
I rolled my eyes at him. “Doc, if you have a theory, please enlighten me. Stop playing mind games with me.”
“I’m not playing mind games. I’m trying to get you to see the answer. Now, what did your brother say when you told him everything that happened?”
“I didn’t tell him everything.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to relive it.”
“And why is that?”
“Why is that? Seriously, Doc, would you want to remember the worst day of your life?”
Dr. Penwarden set down his pen and paper on the table next to him and leaned forward to speak to me.
“Cara, why is it that you don’t want to talk to anyone about what happened?”
“Why do I feel like you keep asking me the same questions, but in different ways?”
“Because you aren’t answering the question.”
“I am! I don’t want to relive it. I don’t want to remember. I just want to move on with my life!”
“How do you expect to move on if you keep it all bottled up inside?”
“What?”
“You’re keeping this all for yourself, and that doesn’t allow you to heal.”
“So, if I go tell people about my tragic story I’ll be healed? Gee, why didn’t I do that sooner?”
Sinner: A Reed Security Romance Page 10