A Life Less Broken

by Margaret McHeyzer

  I take a deep breath and step outside onto the porch.

  Dominic sets the alarm and taking my keys, locks the house. He stands beside me and wraps his arm around my waist. “Ready?”

  I slide my hand into the back pocket of his jeans and we walk to his car, like any normal couple.

  “You have to try her iced tea. She makes the best I’ve ever tasted. But she may not feel like making it today. It really is pot luck with her.” He opens the door for me and I easily slide in.

  When Dominic’s seated beside me in the car, there’s a comfortable silence between us. He presses something on the steering wheel and soft music starts to fill the car.

  “I can never drive.”

  “I know.” Dominic continues to drive and pay attention to the road.

  “If I ever want to go somewhere I’ll either have to go by public transport or a cab.”

  “Or me. I’m happy to take you wherever you want to go.”

  “But you have to work,” I say as I turn my head to look at him.

  “No I don’t have to, I choose to.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means I come from a long line of money, and I’ve made a lot of my own, too. It means that we can live comfortably for an eternity or longer. It means that you and I won’t ever have to worry about money, ever.”

  “Why are you including me in that statement?” I ask, perplexed by the bizarre words that he just rattled off.

  “Because I see you in my future, and if you’re with me, you don’t need to worry. I’ll look after you.”

  “That’s not how this works. I don’t need your money, Dominic.”

  “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression I thought you needed it, because you’ve done fine on your own financially. I’m saying that I’m going to look after you because I care for you.”

  I’m momentarily stunned. Clearly, Dominic is serious about his feelings for me. A thought occurs to me as I look out the window and ponder his protective manner.

  “Dominic, what have you been doing with the checks that I’ve been giving you at the end of each week?”

  His jaw flexes, and he doesn’t answer. I can tell he’s hiding the truth from me.

  “Dominic?” I question him.

  “Um, nothing.” His eyes focus on the road and he doesn’t look at me.

  I press the button on the radio to turn off the background music.

  “What do you mean by ‘nothing’?” I say, signaling air quotes when I say ‘nothing’.

  “Exactly what the word implies. I’ve done nothing with them.”

  “Have you cashed them?”

  Dominic screws his face up a little and shakes his head.

  “None of them?” I ask.

  “No. Don’t get me wrong, at first I forgot to give them to Lauren to take to the bank. And then well, you know,” he says coyly.

  “No, I don’t know, which is why I’m asking you.”

  “Then we happened. And before we happened, I knew I wanted us to happen, so there was no need for your checks.”

  “What? That doesn’t even make sense.”

  “It makes sense in my head. It comes down to this… I don’t need your money, Allyn. I don’t want it. Matter of fact, I want to be the man to look after you and fulfill all your requirements. Regardless of whatever those wants or desires are, I want it to be me who’s there for you.”

  I’m stunned. I don’t know what to say to him, so I remain quiet for the rest of the car ride to the furniture store to get my mirror.

  Or maybe, it’s our mirror.

  When we get to the local Art Van Furniture store, Dominic parks the car and gets out to open my door.

  But I look around the parking lot, and notice it’s fairly busy. There are people coming and going, some carrying bags in their hands, and some with nothing.

  “I can’t go in there,” I say as I point toward the store.

  “Why not?”

  “There are people everywhere.”

  I can feel myself begin to shiver and my eyes are darting everywhere, looking around. Scanning. Making sure there’s no one suspicious around.

  “Yes, there are people everywhere. But the mirrors are inside that store. And unless you’ve developed telekinetic powers like x-ray vision, then the only way you’re going to be able to get the mirror you want for your room is to go in there and buy it. I want you to take my hand and know I’m right beside you. I won’t let you fall.”

  “There are so many people,” I whisper to Dominic.

  He squats down beside the car and takes my hands in his.

  “It doesn’t matter where you go, there will always be people everywhere. But remember, I’m right beside you, and I’ll move heaven and hell to ensure you’re safe. You need to trust in yourself again or you’ll never be able to move forward. And I want that beautiful mind as healthy as possible, because we both deserve our own happiness, together.”

  I gulp down the huge, hard lump sitting in my throat.

  Dominic stands and extends his hand down to me.

  Trembling, I reach out to touch the warm fingers of the kind, generous man standing before me.

  Slowly I slide out of the car and hold onto Dominic like he’s my buoy in rough seas.

  “You can do this,” he says and kisses me on the cheek.

  Putting one foot in front of the other and with several stops to slow my racing heart, we finally enter the doors of Art Van Furniture.

  My throat begins to constrict, sweat beads on the back of my neck, and I can feel it trickling down my spine. My stomach is in knots and as soon as we’re inside, it feels like knives are relentlessly stabbing me in the stomach. My knees start to buckle and I cling to Dominic with both arms tight around his waist.

  “I can’t do this.” A shrill, jittery voice replaces mine.

  I’m quaking and shivering and I can barely see straight. I begin to blink rapidly and I feel myself becoming clammy all over as I start to slip into darkness.

  “Okay, let’s go.” Dominic turns us around to head out the door when I see a mirror that I like.

  “Wait, I want that mirror.” Dominic stops us right in front of it. I can’t see my reflection because Dominic is the one the mirror reflects from this angle.

  “Do you want us to get it now, or would you prefer I came back to get it tomorrow morning?”

  “Can you come back tomorrow please?” I ask. Even though my body’s calming, I can’t risk staying here any longer.

  “Of course.” He bends and kisses me softly.

  Immediately, I lose my fear with his touch. My shoulders release the tension that held them rigid, and I feel more at ease.

  “C’mon, let me take you to dinner,” he mumbles against my lips.

  His warmth illuminates my darkness, giving me hope that I’ll be okay someday.

  When we get back in the car, I sit quietly for a few moments and think about my reactions.

  “I’m so sorry for what happened back there.” I feel like I let Dominic down.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for. You did really well. You got out of the car, and even though you recognized the trigger of all the people around, you went inside the store. You even picked out a mirror you like. Really, there’s nothing for you to apologize for.”

  Hmmm. I chew on my lip and let my gaze go to the outside surroundings.

  “I suppose I did all those things, didn’t I?” And suddenly it occurs to me that I didn’t feel that awful, premonitory fear that something bad was about to happen. Maybe I am getting better.

  I watch as the sun moves over the hills, quickly disappearing as dusk falls upon us.

  He’s right. The restaurant is tiny. There are no more than ten tables inside and another four outside on the incredibly snug terrace.

  “Oh, Dominic.” The old woman with gray hair piled on top of her head greets us. She grabs his face and kisses him on each cheek.

  I smile, watching his face blush as the extravag
ant old woman pinches his cheeks.

  “Who is this bella ma travagliata?” she says, kissing my cheeks before I can make a move to stop her.

  “Sorry, what did you say?” I ask.

  “I say you very beautiful, but have many troubles,” she says in her thick accent. “But you be alright. I see you happy, bella.”

  Her words take me a little aback and I don’t know if I should smile or cry. Am I so broken that it’s obvious to everyone?

  Or can this old lady see something that only a blessed few can?

  “Sedersi, sedersi.” She points to a booth at the back of the restaurant.

  “She’s saying for us to sit down.” Dominic translates.

  “Do you know Italian?”

  “Oh no, but I’ve been here a lot of times and I understand a few words that she says, like, sit.”

  We seat opposite each other and the old lady looks on with a huge smile, looking between Dominic and me.

  “I make for you insalata e lasagna. You drink chinotto, you like.” She walks away without us ordering anything. I’m not entirely sure what just happened.

  “See? She’s a force of nature. She’s bringing us a salad and lasagna and we’re drinking chinotto. It’s a traditional Italian soda made from oranges. But it’s not exactly sweet, it’s a little bitter-ish. It’s definitely an acquired taste.”

  “Okay, I’ll try it; if I don’t like it I’ll switch to water.”

  I look around the restaurant and notice just one other couple sitting inside, holding hands and talking.

  “Is it always this quiet?” I ask Dominic.

  “Not exactly.”

  My eyes dart to his, and he looks like the cat that ate the canary. A sheepish look passes over his face as he tries to hold in his smile.

  “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “I sort of anticipated your needs to limit the number of people around. I booked the restaurant for the next two hours, and left just one table inside. All the tables outside are available. This way you can ease back into being around people.”

  “You did all this for me?”

  “Of course.”

  Oh my.

  Everything he’s done, he’s done for me. Without hesitation and without limits, he’s put his life on hold to help me.

  I stare into his dynamic brown eyes.

  He’s perfect.

  He’s my perfect.

  I can hear the rush of my heartbeat thrum intensely in my ears.

  This time, I’m not nervous, although I am still petrified of what would happen if I were to step outside into the world alone.

  But I am worried of what might happen if I tell him just how much I love him.

  Chapter 22

  “Are you nervous?” I ask Dominic as he paces the length of my family room.

  “Of course not, don’t be preposterous.” He scowls at me.

  “No? Are you sure about that?” I lean against the back of the sofa as I watch him continue walking back and forth. He stops once and rakes his long fingers through his thick, dark hair and continues his marching.

  “To me you look anxious. I’ve never seen you so agitated and on edge.”

  “Well I’m not.” The fierceness in his voice silences me as he walks over and envelops me in his warm arms. “I’m sorry, it’s just I haven’t had to meet parents for a very long time. And I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. But I know it’s best that it happen now so your parents begin to understand that I’m not going anywhere.” He leans in and kisses my mouth. With the softest of touches he sweeps his tongue across my bottom lip and draws it into his mouth, just nibbling tenderly.

  “You’re forgiven,” I say against his lips. “Don’t worry about my parents, Dominic. They’ll just be pleased we’re there. When I called them, they were so happy we’re coming to see them. Mom even started crying.” My arms stay tight around his waist as Dominic presses a kiss into my hair.

  “I’m so proud of your strength, sweetheart.” Dominic cradles my face in his hands and allows his thumbs to stroke my cheeks. He leans down and his lips gently meet my own. I feel his body relax as his hands frame my face and his warm moist lips stay glued to mine.

  We get lost in the moment, an eternity passing as we revel in the intimacy and closeness of each other’s soothing touch.

  “We need to go.” I sadly break the electric connection between us.

  “When I have you in my arms, those are the most perfect moments of my day,” Dominic whispers in my ear. “Do you know that?”

  A shiver of happiness runs through me. I’m happier than I’ve felt in a long time.

  “Are you ready to go?” Dominic asks as he laces our fingers together and gently tugs me toward the door.

  “Yeah I’m ready; let’s go.” The wooden door was already open and I unlock the screen door, step through and wait for Dominic to lock up so we can head to my parents’ home.

  “My mom’s really looking forward to meeting you. My dad on the other hand…well, he’ll be a little harder to convince.”

  “Your mom’s name is Sandra and your dad’s is George, right?”

  “You remembered.” I smile over at Dominic as he pulls out into the street.

  Dominic lifts my hand to kiss my knuckles, and a small, nervous smile graces his face.

  We drive in silence for the rest of the ten-minute trip. Like the true gentleman that he is, he comes around to open the car door, and holds my hand tightly in his as I rise.

  This time, it’s me who needs to be his strength.

  I can tell that he’s got himself in a slight panic. He keeps running his free hand through his hair, then straightens his shirt and his eyes dart around him, taking in his surroundings.

  As we walk up the path to my parents’ front door, I lean over and say, “Relax. It’ll be fine. They know you’re important to me, so they’ll go easy on you.”

  A tight, strained smile thins his lips and his nods, acknowledging, but not responding to my words. I squeeze my fingers around his as we take the final few steps to the front door.

  I look around the front of the single-level house and notice that not a lot has changed. Though the gardens look a little overrun with weeds, the rest of the façade looks exactly as it did three years ago.

  I reach up and press the doorbell and hear a small cry from inside.

  Mom flings the door open and without pausing she hauls me in for a hug as tears fall freely down her face.

  “I’m so happy, darling. So happy.” She keeps repeating, tightening her hold on me until her embrace becomes constricting.

  “Mom, you need to let go a little,” I say with a giggle.

  “I just can’t. You’re here, you’re really here. I’m so happy.”

  “Step aside, Sandy and let our girl give her old man a hug too,” Dad says from behind Mom.

  Mom doesn’t let me go although she moves to the side and brings Dad into the hug. I’m finally standing on the porch at my parents’ house, enfolded in the arms of two people I adore.

  “I’m so proud of you,” Dad whispers shakily as we continue to hug.

  “Come on, let’s go inside.” Mom breaks the hug and steps to the side to usher us in the door. “Oh I’m so sorry, I’m Sandra and you must be Dominic.” Mom extends her hand to Dominic and he gently takes it in his and shakes it.

  “Ma’am, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Oh please, it’s just Sandra. Please come inside.”

  Dad doesn’t let me go. He continues to hold me close to his chest. I can feel his shoulders shaking and I can hear the sniffling coming as he gulps for air. “This is all I wanted, for you to be able to leave your home.”

  “I know, Dad. And I’ve finally done it. All thanks to Dominic,” I breathe as I continue to hug my father.

  “Come on, let’s go inside and talk.” Dad’s hand holds mine as we step inside the house.

  Everything inside looks exactly the same too. Not a single thing has changed.

>   “Here, sit.” Dad points to the sofa.

  Dominic sits in the lone armchair and I sit nestled between Mom and Dad.

  “Oh, who’d like a coffee?” Mom asks.

  “I’d just like some water, Sandra, please,” Dominic answers.

  “Me too, Mom.”

  Mom goes toward the kitchen, leaving my dad, me, and Dominic. Dad looks over toward Dominic and I watch as he eyes Dominic before furrowing his eyebrows together.

  “How old are you, Dominic?”

  “I’m thirty-eight, Sir.”

  “Hmmm,” Dad scowls at Dominic.

  “Dad,” I whisper. “Don’t, please.”

  Mom comes back in with a huge smile and four glasses of iced water as I watch Dad and Dominic have a silent conversation.

  Dad stands the moment Mom sits and rubs his hands down his jean-clad thighs.

  “A word, please, Dominic,” he says as he heads toward the back door, not looking back to see if Dominic follows.

  “I’ll go too,” I say as I stand and move to go outside.

  Dominic places a hand around my upper arm and pulls me back. He moves so he’s standing in front of me, in order for me to see him better.

  “There’s no need to come. Your father and I have a few things to discuss. Stay here and talk with your mom,” he says in a low voice. With a smile, he adds, “Go see if your room is still four shades of purple.”

  “Dominic, I think I should come with you,” I say, frustrated that he’s trying to stop me.

  “Sweetheart,” he starts as he rubs his hands up and down my arms, causing goose bumps to form from the simple exchange. “I’ll be fine.” He leans down and chastely kisses my lips before letting go of my arms. He presses another kiss to my forehead and follows Dad outside.

  Dominic

  “You’re thirty-eight?” Allyn’s father says, starting this rather awkward conversation.

  “Yes, sir I am. I’ll be turning thirty-nine in about three weeks.”

  George paces along the back porch and stops to look me over then continues his marching.

  “And you’re her doctor too.”

  “Yes, sir I’m that as well.”

  George takes a few steps toward me and I straighten my back to show that I’m not intimidated by his protective nature toward his daughter.