Pulse

by Kristine Dugger

  Gwendolyn looks toward our table and introduces, “I’m so very grateful to introduce our speaker for the night. She is a best-selling author of Life Again Through Cuisine. She discovered herself again after the loss of her husband while exploring the world through food. Please give Persephone Dawson a round of applause in welcoming her up to the stage.”

  My mother smiles as she gets up from her chair. Ricardo is holding her hand before she lets go of it and heads to the stage. Her jet-black hair bounces as she walks up the stairs. She is all smiles. Gwendolyn greets her at the center of the stage. They hug each other like they were old friends. My mother grasps the microphone.

  Here she goes. She tells her story.

  “Where to start? Well, I’m a widower. At forty-seven years old, I never thought I would lose my husband. The father of my two daughters. I was crushed. I had no clue what to do with myself. I fell into a dark hole of depression. My everything just up and left me because God needed him. Why? We were just starting our lives after our daughters had gone off to college. We had plans. He was going to retire and we were going to travel the world. He was our rock, our lifeline, and the glue that held our family together. He wanted me to experience the world like I always wanted to. We both made sacrifices for our family. We were finally going to experience the next chapter in our lives.

  “Except, one morning, he sat up and said he wasn’t feeling well. The next thing I knew, the ambulance was at our home, trying to revive him. I lost him that day. My world ended that day. I completely shut down. I couldn’t even be a mother to my daughters. I saw a counselor and she told me to go on that trip, hit all the places we planned together. The only way I could heal the part of my heart that was missing was to go on the adventure of a lifetime. It was hard, but I did it and I reflected on it. I know he was with me the entire time…”

  My mother’s speech is heartbreaking but it is soothing as well. It is beautiful how my mother talks about my father. With Ricardo sitting by me, she says that my father was the love of her life. She never thought she would find anybody like him. She searched for purpose. She searched for life again. But she says no matter how many cuisines and techniques she learned, she still felt incomplete. Like something was missing in her life. She knew it was my father. I tear up hearing her talk some more. She continues with how she felt she was letting her daughters down. For not being there for us when we needed her. But she had no idea how to grieve and she definitely had no idea how to help two young adult girls who lost their father.

  She continues, “One would say I ran away from my problems. Then, one day, I was walking through a small town in Spain. My senses went into overdrive. I smelled the most amazing food outside this little white pillar home. The spices were a combination of cayenne and paprika mixed with garlic, tarragon, and cumin. A very strong smell but a delightful scent. I couldn’t help but walk to the back of the home to see a man cooking food on this massive grill. He looked up at me and smiled. I was memorized by him. I felt like I was struck by a lightning bolt. He asked if I cared to join him. Me, a stranger snooping on this man. I fumbled my words, but eventually, yes came out. That day, I learned it was okay to move on. I fell in love with food and wine I had that night. Later, I fell in love with the man making that wonderful meal. I had no intention of finding love again. I was fine with being a widower, but I think my husband wanted me to be happy. He was my bolt telling me to say yes to Ricardo. Now, looking down at my two very beautiful and successful daughters sitting next to the man that is filling a void in my heart, I think to myself how lucky and blessed I am. They are my living and it feels good to be back home.”

  I look over at a tearful Margo. I get up from my seat and sit next to her. We hug each other. Hearing our mother’s story of dealing with her loss made me realize that you have no idea when true love is going to hit. My mom experienced it twice. Once with my father when he wanted to meet the chef and then Ricardo who was my mother’s chef. I release my hug from Margo and decide to hold her hand instead. I look in the direction of Leo’s family table. He is there and is looking at me.

  Leo gets up from his seat and walks toward the back of the banquet hall. I let Margo know that I need to step away. I scurry out of the hall to find Leo. He is walking down the long hallway to the front of the convention center. Picking up my pace, I follow him. He turns the corner toward the hotel lobby that is connected to the convention center. There are people all around us. I can’t make a scene here. He stops by the elevator. It opens and he walks in. I start to run. With ninja-like skills, I dash into the elevator as the doors are about to close. Leo looks at me. “Paige.”

  I went for him, pushing his body up against the mirrored wall. My lips land on his. There was no hesitation, he accepts the kiss. I grab down for his belt buckle and unsnap it, reaching down for his already hard cock. My hand starts to slide up and down his shaft. He moans, “Paige.”

  The elevator dings, “Fifth floor.”

  Breathing heavy, we pull apart from each other. I look at him. “Your room, now.”

  He smirks, “Demanding, aren’t we?”

  “You have no idea.”

  I follow him to his room. As soon as he closes the door, I pounce on him like he is tonight’s feast. I slam him up against the wall and push his already undone pants down to his ankles. His dick is trying to poke through his boxers in anticipation for me. Those are the next to go down. Then me. My mouth wraps around his cock, taking it all in. He groans. I suck harder, deep throating every ounce of his package. And this package is all mine. He moans again, “Paige. Fuck.”

  His body starts to spasm. I go faster, cupping his balls in my hands. I gently massage them. He tenses up. He is about to cum. I don’t stop. I am going to take him all in and swallow his salty goo. He releases, shooting his load down my throat, causing me to choke a bit.

  I pull away and wipe my mouth clean. He looks down at me, me up at him. He pants, “What was that about?”

  “You looked a little stressed.”

  He laughs, “How did I look stressed?”

  “Well, you look relieved now,” I pause, “Leo?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m going to fuck you now.”

  “Is that so?”

  I stand up in front of him, unzipping my gown. I stand naked in my lacey red bra and panties. His eyes gaze over me.

  “I do enjoy the color red.”

  I unhook my bra and push my panties down to my ankles, then kick them to the side. I say, “I see you are enjoying the sight before you.”

  His cock is no longer limp.

  He starts to unbutton his suit shirt. “You better be prepared for what I am about to do to you.”

  I walk up to him and grab his cock. He grunts. Looking into his hazel-green eyes, I whisper, “Violate me.”

  Leo grabs a hold of me. My legs wrap around him as he picks me up and carries me to the bed. We fall onto the bed and he forces his cock inside of me. His hips moving fast and rough. It hurts so good. Our kisses are all over the place. Leo’s mouth trails down to my neck where he bites me. My body freezes in gratification. My moans turn into porn star like screams. He rams me harder, as if he is pissed off at me, again. The pressure is starting to build. He bites down on my shoulder as he plunges into me. I holler, “Oh my Godddddddd.”

  “Fuck, Paige. I fucking love you,” he moans as he explodes in me.

  Then silence.

  Our labored breaths are all that is heard.

  He peels his sweaty body off of mine and lays next to me.

  Still breathing heavy, he looks at me.

  Shocked by the revelation of his words, I comment, “Leo.”

  He sighs, “Yeah.”

  “Do you mean it?”

  He inhales in. “I told you before, this is not going to happen.”

  “I believe it just did.”

  He rolls to his side, now facing me. “Paige, it’s true. I have never stopped loving you. Seeing you drives me insane. You’re an add
iction. I fucking need rehab to push past you.”

  “If you still love me, then why fight us.”

  “Clearly, you don’t understand. You chose him over me without giving us a shot.”

  “I made a mistake.”

  “Damn straight you made a mistake. But this won’t happen.”

  “What is this then?”

  “Nothing but sex. I can’t resist you when you come at me like you do.”

  “What do I have to do to get you back?”

  “There is nothing you can do. I won’t be second best.”

  Emotions are starting to take over me, water forms in my eyes. “Leo.”

  “I’m sorry, Paige.” He kisses my forehead. “We should probably get back downstairs before our families wonder where we both are.”

  I wipe the tears from eyes and sit up. I scoot down toward the end of the bed to get my clothes, trying my best not to break down and cry in front of him. The dumb bitch that I am ruined my chance to find true happiness. I can’t let this be the end of us. He is all I want. Actually, he is all that I need. The day I met him, there was an attraction, unlike anything I have ever felt. We are like two magnets brought together by chance. The chemistry is still there. He said it himself, he can’t resist me. I am not giving up on us. He will be my biggest challenge I have ever conquered. I will get him back.

  ***

  We walk down together in silence. Leo wouldn’t even look at me. The silent auction continues to take place as we walk into the banquet room. His mom spots us from across the room. She runs in our direction. Gwendolyn says, “Paige, thank you so much.”

  Leo looks at me and asks, “Why is she saying thank you to you?”

  His mother interjects, “Leo, Paige coordinated her mother speaking on short notice. Your mother is delightful. I can’t wait to purchase her book.”

  I smile, “She was great, wasn’t she?”

  “I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house.”

  Leo looks at me. “I didn’t realize that was your mother. She looks different.”

  I smile again, “She looks happy, in love.”

  Gwendolyn agrees, “Yes, she does. Okay, well, I have to go talk to some of the guests. Thanks again, Paige.” She hugs me before she leaves.

  Leo shakes his head at me. “Well, that’s a surprise.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He questions my intentions. “Why?”

  “Greg told us about the last-minute cancellation. Del suggested my mother. I asked if she would. She agreed. My mother didn’t take the stipend either. She donated the money back in my father’s name.”

  His cold eyes stare at me. Is he angry with me for intruding? Did I fuck up again?

  “Paige. It is time to leave.”

  Confused, I ask, “What do you mean?”

  “Say goodbye to your family.”

  “Okay.”

  “Meet me back up in my room.” He hands me the key card to his room. I swallow in excitement and anticipation. I hurry over to my family. I kiss my mother and family goodbye before heading up to his room. They are completely clueless to why I have to leave so unexpectedly. I will eventually tell Margo.

  I walk past the dessert tray. There is a bowl of vibrant red strawberries calling my name. I had an idea. I grab myself a plate of strawberries and head to his room.

  Chapter 11

  Trying to be quiet, I insert the key into the door. I walk into a dark and quiet room. Leo isn’t here yet. This is good. I strip down to my bra and undies again. I am so glad I chose red today. I lay on the bed with my plate of strawberries.

  The door creeks open. Leo walks in untying his tie. He looks at me eating a strawberry. He smirks, “What are you doing?”

  “Leo, do you know the correlation between strawberries and sex?”

  Resting his hand on his chin, thinking. “What is it?”

  “Strawberries are known to increase one’s sexual drive. The more you eat the better the hormones. Plus, they are shaped like a heart.” I held one up.

  “I see.”

  “They are considered the perfect fruit because they are sweet and tart. They have a low glycemic load, which means more energy on little to no calories.”

  He grins, “I have a glycemic load for you.”

  “Are you sweet and tart?”

  He unbuttons his shirt, exposing his well-defined runner’s physique. Oh, how I love that body of his. He demands, “Give me your hands.”

  “Why?”

  “Shut up and don’t ask why.”

  “Well, somebody is getting bossy.”

  I give him my hands. He takes his tie from his neck and wraps the tie around my hands in a knot.

  I look up at him. “Are you getting all Christian Grey on me?”

  He laughs, “No, I’m getting all Leo Davis on you.”

  I giggle, “Oh shit.”

  “Yeah, you are in for it. Now, close your eyes.”

  Leo guides me down on the bed. My eyes closed shut. My hands wrapped so I can’t feel. He whispers, “Yes, you made a mistake.” He pulls my undies down.

  I cry, “A stupid mistake.”

  “Hush. I’m talking. Arch your back.” My shoulders push down into the bed as I raise my back in an arch.

  Tick, tick, snap. The cool breeze of the air conditioner causes my nipples to perk in excitement. He continues, “You want this back.”

  He tweaks my left nipple, causing me to whimper. “I want you back.”

  Gentle lips press against my stomach. My heart races. I am panting like a dog.

  “It won’t be easy.” A finger slides through the folds of my sex.

  I whimper again, “I know.”

  “Paige, how bad do you want me?”

  “I’m pretty sure you feel how wet I am for you.”

  Those same fingers creep between my folds and shove into me. I cry out once more in blissful satisfaction.

  Leo demands, “I want to hear how bad you want me. Your pussy wants me but what about you.”

  A second finger slips through. I exhale. A tickling sensation plays around with my clit. It is his thumb. Oh my God. My body extracts euphoria.

  Leo again, “Paige, you haven’t answered me.”

  I moan, “I want you so bad.”

  “Not buying it.”

  “I. Need. You.”

  “That’s better.”

  His fingers leave my pussy. Not cool, I want them to stay and play. I lay with my eyes closed and my hands bound. The sounds of deep breathing, coming from me, is all I can hear.

  Next, I feel something smooth yet bumpy, like seeds press against my mouth. Leo breathes, “Bite down.”

  I bite down to feel sweet strawberry juices trickle down my chin. He pulls the strawberry from my mouth. Leo again, “Keep your eyes closed.”

  I nod my head in agreement.

  My nipples perk up as juices, assuming from the strawberry, is dripped on them. I sigh. Leo stops squeezing the strawberry and places it on my sex. Oh my God. What is he about to do? My breathing becomes rapid.

  Slurp. Slurp. Leo sucks my nipples, cleaning them completely. Kisses start to trail down my stomach until he reaches his destination. He picks up the strawberry, juices again spill over my sex. Oh shit.

  And here goes the sucking. Leo pushes his tongue all around my landing strip. I start to squirm, feeling the sensation seeping through my veins. I am close. Oh my God. So close.

  Leo whispers, “Not yet. I need to feel you.”

  Tears escape my eyes, holding this undeniable pleasure I want to release.

  Leo grabs my bound arms and eases me up. He demands, “Wrap your legs around me.”

  There is no hesitation. His hair brushes against my arms, as he guides them over his head to go around his neck. Once my arms are rested on his shoulder, he wraps his arms around my waist, bringing our bodies skin to skin. I am trying not to let loose because this whole situation is enough to get anybody off. But he asked… Well, demanded I hold it. I
don’t know how much longer I can hold out.

  The tip of his cock meets my pussy, saying hello before its barges through. But that is all he is doing. Fuck, he is teasing me. He knows I am ready to explode. He whispers, “Calm down. Not yet.”

  I cry, “I don’t know if I can.”

  “For me. I need to take you slow. I want to savor every ounce of you.” The tip of his cock slowly slides deeper in me. Every inch of his cock, feeling every inch of my forbidden fruit. Our hip bones come together, touching in rhythm. I am ready to erupt all around him. He goes deeper as more tears spill from my weakened eyes. Slow. Push. Slow. Every. Inch. Of. Him. In. Me.

  He grunts, “Paige, you can let go.”

  That is all it took. My body convulses all over him, getting me closer to God. He continues to move his cock slow and steady. My body falls limp on his. His hips moving while I am practically dead weight.

  He commands, “There is no rest for the wicked. Babe, ride me.”

  My haze turns to alertness at his words. I rock my hips back into pace with his. I guess we are running a marathon, not the one-hundred-meter dash.

  He moans as if he is in pain, like he doesn’t want to stop. I move my hips faster, clutching my legs tighter around his waist. He moans, “Fuck. Paige. I don’t want to.”

  I whimper, “Then, let loose. Give me all of you.”

  “Not yet.”

  “You have me. I’m all yours. Let me love you.”

  His head falls on my shoulder as he starts to thrust harder. My stamina picks up and I hit him with equal force. His skin starts to prickle. My body ready to unleash once again.

  I moan as I explode all over him again. “Leo, I fucking love you.”

  He bites down on my shoulder, groaning as he shoots his load all up in me.

  ***

  After our intense lovemaking session, Leo and I fall asleep in complete exhaustion. When I wake up, I am nestling against Leo’s chest. This feels right. He feels right. There is no doubt in my mind that Leo is everything I have ever wanted; I just wasn’t smart enough to realize it several months ago. I just hope and pray, he continues to open that window more and more. He knows I love him. I said it loud and clear in our moment of satisfaction. I am just not sure what the next steps with him are.