Forever Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  “Urgent message, sir.” As he unfastened his pouch and withdrew the letter, he explained, “Colonel Mitchell ordered me to bring it to you at Fort Tabor. The boys there sent me to find you at Bear Butte. Before I reached it, I met the detail heading in with prisoners. They told me which route you were taking back to Fort Laramie. I rode across country to intercept you. This is it, sir,” he finished his report and handed over the missive that was marked URGENT across the front in two places.

  Stede tore open the envelope with shaky hands, fearing it was bad news about his older sister or her family. He had lost his only son here, and he prayed he wasn’t about to learn he had lost another loved one during his long absence. He was shocked by the contents of the letter.

  “What is it, sir?” Joe asked, concerned by his friend’s reaction.

  Stede’s dark gaze, filled with sadness, met the younger man’s. His voice was hoarsened by emotion as he revealed, “Bad news, Joe, about your father. It’s from Annabelle. She thought I could locate you and get you home quickly. Joseph’s very ill, Son, dying.”

  Joe paled, and a shudder raced over his body. He tossed his plate aside, intense apprehension flooding him. Father, dying, his mind echoed.

  Stede had no choice but to continue with the terrible news. “The doctor says he can’t linger more than six or seven weeks. Annabelle wants you to get home as soon as possible. She hired a man to deliver this to me, so it was written only a few weeks ago. If you hurry, there should still be time to reach home before…”

  Joe was glad Stede didn’t finish that awful sentence. His mind was dazed with many thoughts about getting home swiftly and about Morning Star. Retrieving his love and perhaps battling to win her from Sun Cloud would require precious time his father might not have. Only weeks more to live … and it took that many to reach home without any delays. Any delays…

  Stede grasped how upset the man was, so he offered some suggestions. “If you leave in the morning for Tabor, you can catch a steamer there. At St. Louis, you can get a horse and cut across country to Richmond to the plantation. That’s the quickest route. You can leave Star at Tabor. I’ll see to him after the treaty. When Sun Cloud gets to Laramie, I’ll explain everything to him. I’ll visit his camp and tell Morning Star what happened. If you want, Son, I’ll bring her to Virginia. You have to get home fast to spend any last days with him. You lost your best friend here, and I’ll be losing a good one there. Life makes these demands on us.”

  Joe stood, paced, and protested, “I can’t just leave for… I don’t know how long without seeing her, sir. She’ll be upset and afraid. She might not come with you, and I don’t know when I can return. Sun Cloud may not let her leave home if I’m not there to persuade him I love her.”

  Stede understood his dilemma, but stressed that if he took the time to visit her or fight for her, he could reach home too late. “I haven’t gotten over the fact I wasn’t with Molly or Tanner when they died,” he confided. “You need to speak with Joseph, Son; you didn’t leave home with his blessing. And your mother needs you. Love is strong; it can wait a while.”

  “If you start trouble with Sun Cloud in your state of mind and rush him,” Tom added, “you could stop him from attending the peace conference. We’ve all worked hard for this treaty to succeed, Joe. Don’t ruin it now. I’m sure she’ll either wait for your return or go with Stede. Will you be able to forgive yourself if you get there too late because of romantic notions? You have years ahead with her, but not with your father, from how it sounds.”

  Stede withdrew money from his pocket, handed it to Joe, and said, “You’ll need this for passage and to buy a horse in St. Louis. Don’t worry about anything here. I’ll make sure the treaty is fair to Sun Cloud and his tribe. I’ll tell you everything when I bring Morning Star to you in Virginia.”

  “You can use my other horse,” the scout offered. “You can travel faster by changing mounts every few hours. Just leave him at Tabor, and the boys there will bring him to me when they return to Laramie. Both of them are fast and surefooted.”

  Those kindnesses touched Joe deeply. “Thanks, you two. I’ll leave right now,” he decided, but Stede halted him with a grip on one wrist.

  “No, Son. You and those horses are exhausted. You wouldn’t get far before both of you collapse. Clear your head and don’t be rash. It’s a long and hard journey facing you. The trail is fraught with perils. Get a good night’s sleep and ride out fresh and alert at dawn. We’ll have your horses and supplies ready at first light. I’ll see to Morning Star, I promise. Go straight home, Joe,” he urged.

  “I will, sir. Right now, I need to be alone for a while.” Joe headed into a copse of hardwoods to get his emotions under control.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Sun Cloud and his party reached Buffalo Gap at midmorning. Red Hearts gathered around to hear the glorious tale of victory at Bear Butte and reports of Joe’s perilous role in it. The ecstatic group was given food and water, and boys guided their horses away to be tended. Wives embraced husbands, mothers hugged sons, and children clasped the necks and legs of fathers. It was a time of celebration and happiness, a time of looking to the future, a moment of relief for safe returns.

  The elated chief explained how they had worked with Crow, enemies for generations. He talked of the soldiers’ friendliness and acceptance of him. He related the motive behind Snake-Man’s greed and wickedness, and everyone comprehended why their Great Spirit had been eager to stop it. His party was praised and congratulated.

  Sun Cloud held up his souvenir, then hung Orin’s mask on a pole near the meeting lodge for all to see and study. He exposed the grim news about Hawk Eyes and Knife-Slayer, and the good news about Wind Bird becoming shaman. He called the man forward to demonstrate the “magic balls” Joe had given to him. The display drew sounds of amazement and approval of such “big medicine.”

  Morning Star was not happy about the two deaths, but she was relieved the bad influence of both men had been removed. She was glad when War Chief Lone Horn invited the grieving Waterlily into his tepee for protection and support until she recovered from her two losses and took another husband. She was relieved that her love was safe somewhere.

  Sun Cloud spoke of his impending journey to Fort Laramie. He planned to leave at sunrise with chosen warriors to sign a joint treaty with allies and past foes. He gave the command to break summer camp the next day to head for the Black Hills to set up their winter one. Men were assigned their duties during the seasonal trek.

  As the people returned to their chores and families, Sun Cloud said to his wife and daughter, “It is a good day. The bloodline of my father has gathered many coups. My pride is large for you, Morning Star, and for Sky Warrior, grandson of my uncle. When Tanner returns with me after the treaty council, we will have a great feast to honor my daughter and blood brother. Truce, my loved ones, has been long and hard in coming. Until it is gone, we will enjoy peace and happiness. My heart is filled to bursting.”

  Singing Wind cast Morning Star a look of regret at having to spoil this glorious moment, but Sun Cloud was leaving tomorrow. She wanted to be the one to reveal the shocking truth to her husband, not risk his learning it from someone else while he was gone.

  Morning Star’s eyes pled for silence, but her mother did not catch the signal to postpone the revelation until another day. She wanted Joe here with her when their dark secret came to light; she had not thought of him riding on to Fort Laramie with Stede and the others. She prayed her actions would not delay the search for peace.

  Sun Cloud noticed the curious behavior. “What fox walks in the heads of my loved ones?” he teased the two women.

  “Come, my husband, and I will tell you.”

  While glancing at his nervous daughter, the intrigued chief let his wife guide him into their tepee. He watched her seal the flap, the signal for privacy. When she grasped his hand, pulled him to their sleeping mat, and drew him down to sit beside her, Sun Cloud misunderstood, and his desires fl
amed. He grinned and jested, “You grow brave, Singing Wind, to let others see your great hunger for me. It is good our hearts and bodies still burn for each other, and we have the strength to feed them at our ages.”

  “Love and hunger are not what burns in me this sun. I am sorry.”

  * * *

  Morning Star stared at the closed flap of the tepee, then sought refuge away from camp. She sat beside a rushing stream and wished time would pass as swiftly. She wished Joe had returned with Sun Cloud. She needed him at her side when she faced her father soon. She had spoken with her mother many times in the last thirteen days. She had obeyed Singing Wind’s urgent request to give the important decision more study, but nothing had changed her mind. She loved Joseph Lawrence, she wanted to marry him, she wanted to spend her life with him, and she wanted to bear his children. Whatever challenges confronted them, they would meet them together.

  She looked up as Clay joined her to pass along her love’s messages and warning. When he discovered the secret had been revealed to her mother who was presently telling Sun Cloud, he looked worried. As Buckskin Girl arrived, Clay offered her his help if there was trouble. Feeling there was nothing he could do, she smiled and told him to spend his short time with Buckskin Girl. The two walked away, hand in hand, to speak with Flaming Star about a joining ceremony.

  Time passed too slowly for Morning Star in her state of dismay. Singing Wind had insisted on being the one to break the news to her husband. She had told Morning Star it was best for everyone involved if she related the decision and the reasons behind it. She had disagreed with her mother, but relented when it seemed so important to Singing Wind.

  Her mother had spoken with her and had considered the matter at length. At last Singing Wind had said she understood and accepted that choice and realized how difficult and painful it had been for her daughter to make it. That and assurance of her mother’s love eased her anxieties for a while, but they had returned with her father’s arrival and the talk in progress.

  Singing Wind was sad about her child’s leaving. The older woman feared they would never see each other again. Her final words before Sun Cloud arrived were, “Go in peace, my daughter, and walk the path Grandfather makes for you. It will be long and hard, but do it bravely.”

  Morning Star dreaded the upcoming talk with her father, but knew the matter must be settled. She could not stay here and lose Joe. She could not marry another and bear his children. Joe was her heart, her future. Her life here was over. With Joe, once the anguish of her decision passed and she eased into his world, she would be happy and free. Whatever the sacrifice to follow her true destiny, her true love, she would make it.

  The nervous woman glanced toward camp and wondered what was being said between her parents. If only she did not have to shame and hurt them to make her dreams come true…

  The exuberance of victory left Sun Cloud’s heart and mind; now they were consumed by disbelief, anguish, turmoil, and anger. He listened to his beloved wife’s stunning revelation about their daughter and Joseph Lawrence. He felt betrayed by them, their deceit, their weakness, their cowardice. He was hurt by their lack of trust in him, and their surrender to a forbidden union, as he knew they must have yielded to temptation while on the trail alone and in love. He wondered how his beautiful, gentle, sweet Morning Star could do this awful thing.

  As promised before Singing Wind began this talk, he listened and held silent until she finished. Then Sun Cloud agonized aloud. “Does she not realize this cannot be? She and her family will be dishonored and attacked by pain. Has she forgotten our laws? It is wrong, shameful. I cannot break them or bend them for my child; that is unfair to all others. If I do not banish her, my people will see me as a weakling, unworthy to be their chief. If she is sent away, never can my eyes gaze upon the proof of her betrayal. She will no longer be my daughter. She will be cut from our lives, the story of our family, from our bloodline.”

  “Nothing can remove your blood from her, my love,” Singing Wind refuted. “It can only be denied. She did not plan to trick us; Joe did not plan to trick us. Sometimes such actions must be taken. Remember what happened the night he came to us and understand why they did this. When Morning Star learned of the sacred vision and believed Joe was Sky Warrior, she acted swiftly to save his life. The Great Spirit silenced her tongue, my husband, not evil and defiance.”

  In his torment and shock, Sun Cloud disagreed, “There have been many times since that moon to reveal the truth; they have not. I trusted Sky Warrior; I made him blood brother and thought him a man of honor, a man of Running Wolf’s bloodline. In secret, as the sly raccoon sneaks about in the night, he stole precious food from my tepee. Others know he is not Tanner—Stede, Broken-Hand, Clay, the soldiers—but none revealed his deceit. How do I know they will not keep other secrets from me? How do I know they will not make deceit for me and all Indians with the treaty?”

  “Truce tricks are not in Payaba’s vision, my love.”

  “My daughter’s betrayal was not in Payaba’s vision, but it is done.”

  “You are wrong, my husband. Their love is there, so, too, their leaving, but Wakantanka held Payaba’s tongue silent until the right time to reveal them. That is now, my love.”

  Sun Cloud gaped at his wife. “Why have so many secrets been kept from me and Red Hearts? Why must she do this? It was selfish, defiant, and blind to jump on a wild horse she cannot ride.”

  Singing Wind caressed his cheek and reminded, “As we did long ago, my husband? Have you forgotten how we broke the laws of our peoples when we surrendered to love while I was promised to your brother? We risked banishment, dishonor, and death to have each other. I teased you that it would take more than an Eagle’s fledgling to tame Singing Wind or to give her sweet pleasure, but you did both. Perhaps it will take more than an Indian warrior to do the same for our daughter. She is different from others, my love. She is strong, proud, brave, smart; but she is gentle and caring. She does not do this to be selfish. She does not wish to hurt us or to punish us. She is now as we were long ago— young, passionate, and in love.”

  “It is different, my wife; no one knew of our secret, our weakness.”

  “Does that make it any less true, or us any less guilty? We were not forced to choose between love and banishment, as she must do. We were not forced to choose between our loves and our families, as she must do. We were not forced to choose between joy and sadness, as she must do. We did not choose each other to love and join; Wakantanka put such feelings in our hearts and bodies, and He removed all obstacles from our union path. It is the same with Morning Star and Joe.”

  “How will the obstacle of our laws be removed, my wife? More whites and wars will come. If I change our laws, it will bring more palefaces into our tribe. If our bloods are weakened, we will know great defeats when the new battles come. When sides go to war, it will split the mixed families. My people listened to the words of Gray Eagle and obeyed them. They listen to mine and obey me. If I speak to change the law, it will bring trouble, sadness, and dissension. My people accepted whites in the lives of my father and brother. For my daughter to choose a white man sets a bad example. It will appear that the bloodline of Gray Eagle prefers white mates over ones of their own kind. I am chief and must think of my duty.”

  “Morning Star knows the truth about Alisha, my love,” she revealed, then explained how the girl had learned the news. “How can we say it was good for Gray Eagle to love and join a white woman but it is bad for our daughter to do the same with a white man, one who has risked his life to save our people and to bring peace to our land? What of our child’s coups and risks, my love? She faced as many dangers. She tried to obey our laws; she tried to remain strong. When fate seemed against us long ago, we battled our feelings, but could not stay strong and loyal to our ways. We knew what was right and wrong, but love swayed and ruled us.”

  “We are the same; they are not.”

  “Morning Star is half like him, my love, and she knows
this.”

  “But he was raised white, and she was raised Indian. You take their side when you must fight it. You make excuses for them.”

  “As we did for ourselves long ago?” she asked in a gentle tone.

  “It is not the same,” he contended without raising his voice in anger.

  “How is it different?”

  “You think as a woman, with the heart.”

  “You think as a man and a chief, with the head. But Morning Star is a woman, and she has been a warrior. Her head battled fiercely with her heart. Only because she truly believes this is Grandfather’s will did she have the courage to follow her heart. Remember what you said to me when we were entrapped by our laws?’ If evil has separated us, we must destroy it to be joined.’ Hatred is evil, my love; war is evil, my love; they are destructive forces. They must be defeated. That was done at the sacred mountain.”

  “But only for a time, my wife,” the chief reminded. “They will return, even stronger and deadlier the next time.”

  “Is that not a good reason to have our child far away, safe and happy? Do not let a man’s pride be stronger than a father’s love in this matter. Do not make us lose her heart along with her body. Do not make her suffer more than she must. Remember how Gray Eagle could not battle his love and destiny. Remember how we could not battle them. Accept it is the same for Morning Star and Joe,” she urged.

  Sun Cloud fused his troubled gaze with Singing Wind’s imploring one. He had no more answers, only torment and sadness—and grief over the impending loss of his cherished daughter. He was glad Singing Wind had disclosed this news to him. If his daughter had done so, he might have said terrible things to her in his anger and dismay, and provoked a vicious quarrel. It was too late to change the situation, so he must deal with it in the only way left open to him. “I will speak with her.”