Forever Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  Morning Star rose as her father approached. His gaze and expression revealed nothing of his turbulent feelings, a skill he used well when necessary. Her heart drummed in her tight chest, her mouth was dry, and her body trembled. She did not fear her father, but she feared the demands of this matter. “Mother told you?” she asked, her voice quavering, her eyes filled with anguish.

  Sun Cloud did not speak for a time. His impenetrable gaze roamed her from head to toe, then settled on her face, which was lined with worry and tension. “Singing Wind told me of your secret. You have spoken with her many times and you know what sacrifices you must make. They are not yours alone, my daughter; we must share your dishonor and banishment. After the words are given to our people, I cannot speak your name or see your face again.”

  That news was expected, but still it was a crushing blow to hear him deliver it. “That is not my choice, Father. I love you. I do not want to hurt you or shame you before others. It cuts into my heart to lose you and Mother. I do not want to leave in banishment and dishonor, but that is our law.”

  “You know I cannot change it for you.”

  “Yes, Father, and I am sorry it must be so. I pray you to seek and find understanding and forgiveness as I take the true path of my Life-Circle. If it is wrong to love and join Joe, the Great Spirit would not allow it. I will learn the white ways, seek to understand their hatred and greed, and will send that knowledge to help my people.”

  “It will not stop what is to be, my child. When Joe’s people come to destroy us, what then? Your heart will war with your mind once more. You must become white to live among them; you must deny your Indian heritage and blood to be accepted.”

  “War must end forever some day, Father.”

  “It will not until one side is destroyed or conquered. You rode Payaba’s vision. Do not forget the rest of it— more war, a great and bloody war. Can you deny all and who you are, Morning Star? What of honor, duty, blood? What of love for your family, your people, your land? The line of Gray Eagle must continue; it must become strong and pure once more. Do not stain it with more white blood. Bright Arrow has only daughters, no son to carry on the chief’s line. You must bear an Indian child, my daughter.”

  “The line will pass through Night Stalker and Bloody Arrow.”

  “What if they do not survive the next white man’s attack? If you have no Indian son to take their place, the chief’s line will pass from ours. When it has done so, we will be defeated, almost destroyed. That warning was in the sacred vision of Mind-Who-Roams when he was shaman to Gray Eagle.”

  “Bright Arrow has many grandsons from Little Feet and Tashina,” Morning Star pointed out, “They are sons of chiefs. Little Feet has more sons with Thunder Spirit, child of White Arrow, best friend to Gray Eagle when they lived. If those sons are too old to ride as chief when the new war comes, there is the son of Soaring Hawk, child of Tashina. The Cheyenne shaman says he is marked for greatness; and he is of Gray Eagle’s bloodline. Have you forgotten how Red Cloud’s father was a Brule, but he leads his mother’s Oglala band? The Cheyenne are our allies and friends. Why could the grandson of Tashina not become Red Heart chief— if Night Stalker, Bloody Arrow, and all others are taken from his path?”

  She caught his hand in hers. “What I do, Father, will not change the destinies of others. It will not halt or bring war. If I stay and join an Indian, that does not mean I will bear sons. Bright Arrow had no sons, and many others have no sons. All lives and fates are in the Great Spirit’s hands. I must go to Virginia with Joe and become his wife. He helped rid our lands of evil ones. The Great White Chief has commanded peace, and all nations and tribes have agreed to sign the treaty. You must let nothing halt Sun Cloud from signing it. Joe needed my skills to win this great victory for our people. You, Father, are the one who gave them to me. You taught me the white man’s tongue. You taught me warrior skills. You trained me to be clever and daring. You showed me how to be strong, how to do what must be done for the good of our tribe. Do you not see— Grandfather was leading you to prepare me for the sacred vision?”

  “I do not deny such words and truths.”

  Before he could continue, she contended, “You said not to forget the rest of the sacred vision. I have not, but there is more Payaba must tell you about it. My love and leaving are parts of it, Father; they are His will, my destiny. Obeying is painful and hard, but I must and will do so. You are a great chief, a goodfather; you can expect nothing less of me. When Joe returns, you must not harm him. You must let me ride away with him.”

  Sun Cloud turned away to think and to master his warring emotions. His mind roamed to days long past, and to days beyond his birth that his parents had revealed to him.

  Morning Star gazed at her father’s back, still muscled and strong. She looked at the flowing ebony mane with its few streaks of white. Sun Cloud was still sleek and honed. He was still handsome and virile. He was loved, respected, and obeyed by the Red Hearts, and by most allies. Like his father, he was a legend awed and feared by their enemies.

  She wanted to make his task easier for him, so she said in English, “I know how this predicament must distress and torment you, Father. I know, as chief, you can not make ex-ceptions for me. I understand your duty and why you must stand taller and stronger than other Indians. Do what you must, Father, for I will love you and respect you forever, even more now because I know it is harder for you this time. I understand our laws, and we must both honor them.”

  At last, Sun Cloud made his heartrending decision and faced her. Despite his enormous strength of mind and will, his dark eyes glistened with deep and warring emotions. “I will say this but once, Morning Star, for the last time. I love you; I am proud of you; I will miss you. Go to live in peace, happiness, and safety. Have children where they will not be forced to live as half-breeds and where they will not endure wars and death. You have helped your people to survive many more years. I will sign the treaty, and I will honor it as long as I can. Your people love you and praise your brave coups, but they cannot disobey our laws for their chief’s daughter. I must not coax them to change those laws, for they mean the survival of our bloodlines and race. I will tell them the truth this night. I will banish you before them. I will forbid the speaking of your name again. Only the legend of She-Who-Rode-With-The-Sky-Warrior will be upon our lips and on our tribal records. It pains my heart to deny you, but it must be this way for the good of our people. You must not return home, ever. It will do much harm for others to see you joined to a white man. He will not be safe in our land when the treaty is broken, and it will be broken.” He drew her into his arms and embraced her. “Good-bye, my daughter. We will never touch or see each other again. What I must do this moon is hard, but it is for the good of our people.”

  “I know, Father. I love you. Come, end the pain of this matter.”

  Nearing four o’clock, Sun Cloud asked Wolf Eyes to summon the people to a clearing, and the ceremonial chief obeyed.

  Morning Star stood beside her father with her head held high. She concealed her anxiety, and displayed courage and pride. She must not allow anyone to think she was ashamed of what the chief was revealing. Her gaze roamed the large group: Sun Cloud, Singing Wind, Night Stalker, Buckskin Girl, Clay Thorne, Payaba, her kin, and her people. She saw Touched-A-Crow leave with a surly Bloody Arrow, and she prayed her brother could eventually change the boy’s behavior. If the child continued to walk his rebellious path, he would become more like a son of Knife-Slayer than her brother. It was bad and alarming for Bloody Arrow to be in line for the chief’s bonnet. Surely Grandfather would alter or remove him…

  Morning Star saw girls whispering amongst themselves as they speculated on the reason of the tribal meeting and their friend’s involvement in it. She knew from Buckskin Girl that unmarried braves wondered if the meeting was being called to announce her joining. She could not help but be relieved that Hawk Eyes and Knife-Slayer were not present to cause trouble. Her father lifted his hand for sile
nce and attention. The moment arrived.

  “Hear me, my people. Morning Star told me Sky Warrior is not Tanner Gaston; his name is Joseph Lawrence. Payaba said of his vision: ‘The Great Mystery showed me two men. One’s face was hidden from my eyes, but Grandfather said he carried Oglala blood… He will call the lost warrior back to the land of his people to share our destiny.’ That man is Stede Gaston, son of Powchutu, Eagle’s Arm. Payaba said of the second man: ‘Trouble will be reborn, but its life will be cut short by the warrior Grandfather sends to us. A long peace will follow… He is a white-eye who will come to help us defeat our enemies… Peace lies within the grasp of the white-eye whose hair blazes as the sun and in whose eyes the blue of sky lives. His heart will side with us. Many foes, Indian and white, will try to defeat him.’ This is all true of Joseph Lawrence and what has taken place. The vision did not say Sky Warrior carried Indian blood; Joe does not. It did not say Sky Warrior is the son of the man with Oglala blood; Joe is not.”

  Sun Cloud witnessed the shocked and baffled reactions to his words, but his people held silent, as was their custom. He saw how some looked at his daughter with suspicion and curiosity. “When Joe came to us to seek our help and friendship, many resisted him and some tried to have him slain. Joe came to our land with Stede and Tanner Gaston to work for peace. When Tanner was killed by the evil ones and we scorned Joe, he claimed to be Tanner to win our acceptance. The Great Spirit works in mysterious ways. Grandfather allowed this trick to happen and to remain hidden until now, because Grandfather needed Joe to work for our peace and survival. When many resisted Joe’s words, he believed the only way to win our trust, acceptance, and help was to claim he was Tanner Gaston of Running Wolf’s bloodline. Joe did not want to trick us; he did not plan to trick us. It came to him as he was attacked and threatened with death. He did this to save his life to work on the sacred vision. His deceit was wrong, and our behavior that night was wrong. We are all living creatures and make such mistakes. It is true he wanted to save us and to get peace; he wished to do this for Tanner and Stede, who are as father and brother to him. When he came to know us, he came to like, respect, and accept us as worthy to save. One weakness in him does not take away his honor and many coups.”

  Many heads nodded in understanding. Sun Cloud awaited their reaction to his imminent disclosure. “When the treaty council ends, Morning Star will leave our land with Sky Warrior, to live in the white world and to become his mate.” As people looked confused, Sun Cloud reminded, “They are not of the same bloodline, for Joe is not Tanner, not the grandson of Eagle’s Arm, son of Running Wolf. Morning Star’s destiny is not here with us. Payaba saw this in his vision, but Grandfather commanded him not to speak of it until peace ruled our land and the sacred mission was victorious. Payaba revealed it to me this sun; I believe and accept it as the will of the Great Spirit. Morning Star’s destiny is in the land where her grandmother was raised. Perhaps our two Gods have made truce, as we make truce with our enemies. The white God sent Alisha/Shalee to my father, and the Great Spirit must send Morning Star to Joe. Gray Eagle claimed Shalee as wife. Now, Joe claims their granddaughter as wife. This is our great sacrifice for peace and survival; it is Morning Star’s Sun Dance ritual to surrender herself to destiny and Wakantanka’s will.”

  The hard part of Sun Cloud’s task arrived. “But Payaba’s vision also said: ‘More white-eyes will journey here in great numbers. Their hungers will bring even darker and bloodier suns’ than we have known for these past seasons. We must sign the treaty, though it will be broken one day, so we can enjoy many winters of peace, happiness, and survival. But, as Payaba warned: ‘The white-eyes will come to fear and battle the Dakota Nation as they do with no other. The Tetons will lead all tribes of the Seven Council Fires and our allies in the last battle for survival.’ It is our law not to join with our enemies, the whites. We must not change this law. We must keep our bloodlines pure and strong; they must stay Indian. If this law is broken, the guilty one is pushed from our camp and lives. This is what I must do with my daughter, for even a chief’s family is not above tribal law.”

  As Sun Cloud took a few breaths, he saw people stare at Morning Star. Some reactions said his words were right; some said cruel; some said they felt empathy, but agreed with the law.

  “No Red Heart, not even the chief and his family, must speak her name again. She must be banished. Our laws must not be changed. Morning Star understands and agrees. From this moon until our days cease, we must speak only of She-Who-Rode-With-The-Sky-Warrior, and she must never return to us. When my people break camp on the new sun to move into the Black Hills, she must remain here to wait for Joseph Lawrence.”

  Singing Wind, standing beside her daughter, started to protest the cruelty of leaving their child alone and in possible peril from renegades and wicked whites and from the forces of Mother Nature. But Morning Star grasped her hand and squeezed it to tell her to hold silent. It was one of the hardest things she had ever done, but she obeyed the message.

  Morning Star locked her gaze with her brother’s. Disbelief, anger, and disappointment filled Night Stalker’s eyes. She smiled at him to let him know she was all right. As her father reminded everyone, her departure and mixed marriage were in the sacred vision and wills of the Great Spirit, Night Stalker returned the smile and nodded understanding.

  To let those who resisted this decision know he wasn’t being cruel and unfair or sacrificing an unwilling child, Sun Cloud added, “Morning Star loves this white man and chooses to go with him. From this time on to forever, Morning Star is dead to us, to her family and to her people; and we are dead to her. She must gather her possessions and make camp away from us until she leaves our land. She must be avoided; she must not be spoken to or looked at; she must not be helped with chores or visited. Morning Star is no more. Only the legend of She-Who-Rode-With-The-Sky-Warrior can be spoken, remembered, and honored.”

  Again, Morning Star squeezed her mother’s quivering hand to halt the protest she perceived. Neither she nor her mother had thought of this part of banishment. Both had forgotten, once the words were spoken publicly, the deed was done and the punishment began. Her heart was breaking, and she wished Joe were here to give her courage. She prayed the peace council and his return would not be long in coming. Her father would tell him what had happened when he reached Fort Laramie and surely Joe would hurry to her side, here where she must camp alone and wait for him.

  Sun Cloud commanded as chief, not her grieving father, “Turn your eyes and backs to her, my people. She is dead to us.” To his lost child, he ordered, “Go, fetch your possessions and leave camp. Do not approach it again. This is our law. Live nearby until the white man comes for you.”

  Morning Star was consumed by anguish. She was cut off from her family and friends. They could not exchange goodbyes. To them, she must be as the wind—invisible, ignored. She must be as the flower—silent. She must be as the cactus spines—untouched. She was banished, forever. It was done.

  The band, many with broken hearts, obeyed the chief and their law. They turned away from the beautiful creature with misty eyes. No one spoke, though many wished to do so, as it was their way and was necessary. Many said a mute farewell to the exquisite female, the brave vision woman.

  Singing Wind did not care who witnessed her defiance. She embraced her child and whispered, “I love you, Morning Star. I will miss you and never forget you. You will always be my daughter. Be safe and happy.”

  She hugged the woman and whispered in her ear, “Be strong, Mother. I love you and will miss you. I will never forget all you have taught me. Help Father through this hard time. Soon I will be fine.”

  Night Stalker also embraced her and whispered, “Forever you are my sister and I will love you, no matter our law. I will be a good chief. Do not worry about our parents and people. I will take care of them.”

  Morning Star gazed into his dark eyes and smiled, as she knew he spoke the truth. Tears blurred her vision. She could not spe
ak again, so she answered by caressing his cheek. She watched her mother and brother slowly turn away from her. She captured Sun Cloud’s hand, squeezed it, and whispered, “I love you, Father. Never be sorry for obeying our law.” It gave her strength when the man clasped her hand tightly for a moment.

  Morning Star weaved her way through the silent crowd with lowered head. She went to her parents’ tepee and packed her belongings, then walked to Hanmani, took his reins, and guided him out of camp. She did not look back, or halt until she was a mile from her people. She released the, faithful animal’s reins, dropped her possessions, and sat down to weep over her losses. Her decision was much harder than she had imagined, and it could never be changed or taken back. Tomorrow, her father and his band would leave for Fort Laramie; her people would depart for the sacred hills. She would be alone. “Come quickly to me, my love,” she prayed.

  Chapter Twenty

  Joseph Lawrence reached his destination and dismounted. It was dark and quiet, and no one seemed disturbed by his late arrival. To make certain, he left Star at the edge of the camp and moved quietly to obtain the privacy he needed for what he must do. He realized his father did not have long to live. Yet, he was doing the best he could for everyone involved. He also realized that no matter how fast he traveled his father already might be dead, but he fervently hoped not.

  Joe could not bring himself to leave without Morning Star. He would lose only half a day—a day at most if there was trouble—by veering off the route to fetch her. He knew Stede’s urgings had come from a heart filled with remorse over missing last moments with his wife and son; the older man had not stopped to think how close to Sun Cloud’s summer camp the route from their campsite to Fort Tabor would bring Joe. As best he could judge, the chief and his band should have reached home earlier today. That meant there had not been enough time to begin moving to the Black Hills.