Shalia's Diary #5

by Tracy St. John

  At some point in the middle of the night however, I woke. I lay there for a few seconds, my body as heavy as a barge. I had no idea why I was awake or why I had this sensation of fear. My heart pounded. My body, as heavy as it was, strained to flee. I couldn’t even twitch though. It was as if I’d been placed in stasis, except for that horrid, weighty feel to my body.

  I felt sure someone was in the room with me. I was positive of that fact. I couldn’t move my head, but my eyes rolled about in their sockets, trying to see who was there.

  The far corner of the room to my right, where the door stood open to the sitting area, held a shadow darker than the rest. It was a man, a big man. I could see the form as plain as day, but not the features. This big monstrous creature was in my room staring at me, and I couldn’t budge to run or even scream.

  Then he was gone. One moment I’m staring bug-eyed at this black shape at the periphery of my vision, then I’m staring at an empty corner. No one was there, whether man or beast. I was alone.

  It took several minutes for my booming heart to calm. All that time I lay there, staring at that corner until I was convinced I’d only imagined seeing someone there. Little by little, the sedative regained control over me. I slid back into sleep, still a little freaked out by the weird hallucination but certain no one was actually in there with me.

  When Candy asked us all at breakfast whether we’d seen anything weird during the night, I shook my head with the rest. I know it was the sedative that gave me the bizarre waking dream. I was not about to get my ghost-freaked friend another reason to be spooked at night. I doubt I would have been able to convince her that my ‘visitor’ was nothing but a chemically-induced side effect.

  I’m still tired though. I think I’ll crawl back into bed and try to get some more sleep, especially since Oses left me a message asking me to come to his quarters after his shift is up today. Maybe I won’t be spending my night without the sedative all alone.

  April 3, early

  Oses is looking more and more like his old self. And acting that way too. I was glad to find him like that, because it helps me remember who I was before. It’s good to play at being normal even if I don’t feel that way anymore.

  I went to his quarters for the first time since getting back to the ship. When I reached the door, it opened automatically without me announcing myself.

  Oses sat on the edge of his bed, looking as if he’d been waiting. He smiled as I jumped with surprise to have the door slide open without any prompting.

  “Come in, pet,” he invited. “I’ve inputted clearance for you to enter my quarters any time you wish.”

  “That’s nice,” I said, wondering what it meant. I came in and the door shut behind me. “Are you sure you feel safe giving me carte blanche to invade whenever I like?” I joked.

  He gave me a smile that was strained. All of Oses’ smiles look like that these days, as if it takes real effort to be glad of anything. I can well understand that.

  “You’ve seen me at my worst,” the Nobek said. “You’ve seen me weak and helpless, needing your strength when my own disappeared. What do I have left to guard from you?”

  “You were never weak,” I told him. “When I needed you, you were there. Even if I managed to repay you in any way for that, I still owe you everything.”

  I don’t know if any of my reassurances penetrated past my lover’s trauma. He commented on it no further.

  Instead he asked, “Would you care to spend the night with me? I have missed sleeping with you.”

  I was more relieved than I wanted to admit. The nap I took earlier in the day had been fraught with horrible images. I had woken up sobbing in terror.

  To give him an answer, I immediately stripped off my dress, shoes, and underthings. I went to my knees and assumed the position Oses had expected of me when we played: legs wide apart to display my pussy and my hands laced behind my head with arms flung wide to lift and display my breasts. My eyes were downcast, staring at his boots.

  “Beautiful, pet,” he sighed. “Come to me.”

  I crawled the scant three feet that separated us and resumed my submissive posture between his feet. He opened the crotch seam of his formsuit, spilling his hardening cocks out. I inhaled appreciatively of his spicy, cinnamon-like scent.

  “Suck,” Oses said.

  He hadn’t said which cock I should pleasure first, so I went for the smaller one. He hadn’t gone completely erect yet. When I tilted my head to one side to avoid his larger prick stabbing me in the eye, I was able to take the entirety of the second one without choking. My head bobbed up and down over his lap as I enthusiastically enjoyed my lover and master’s flavor.

  The flesh was smooth and tender where veins didn’t bulge against the skin. Oses lubricated freely, that sweet-spicy flavor of his exuding from his pores to make his cock slick. As I fellated, I twined my tongue all about that delicious stave, licking him clean and swallowing all he offered. He immediately produced more wetness for me to enjoy. His pulse thrummed violently.

  His cock grew hard and long in reaction to my pleasuring. It was a hot brand in my mouth, now brushing the back of my throat. I coughed a little and paused to say, “I’m sorry, Master.” Gagging a girl on cock was more Betra’s thing.

  “That’s fine, pet. Continue to suck me. That’s my good girl.”

  I spent a good long while on the smaller cock, taking my time to enjoy him thoroughly. It was wonderful to be with him like this, not worrying about our fellow captives watching, not worrying about Finiuld showing up out of nowhere to bring us pain and despair. I wanted to take my time with Oses. I wanted to immerse myself fully in Oses. He might have felt he’d failed me, but the opposite was true: he saved me. Over and over, he saved me.

  I tried to pour all my feelings into that as I finally moved to his larger prick. I was delighted to find him swollen bigger than I remember him ever getting with me. A sweet drop of pre-cum awaiting my attention, and I claimed it. I rolled my eyes up to watch him watch me enjoy his flavor.

  Oses’ eyes were dark, the deep purple of his irises all but hidden behind his dilated catlike pupils. His wet lips parted, allowing me to see that his fangs had unhinged. The thin, pointed tips peeked out at me from behind front square teeth. His chest rose and fell quickly. He looked like barely contained energy and even trembled slightly, as if forcing himself to be still for my attentions. I had the notion he thought about grabbing me about my head, the better to shove his cock quick and hard into my mouth.

  He didn’t, but the thought of the restrained violence made my pussy slick as I mouthed his primary cock. Knowing Oses had the ability to take me any way he wanted was more than enough to excite me. I was so vulnerable to the man, so helpless against his brute strength. Somehow that knowledge, coupled with the realization he would not use it to harm me in any way, had me as excited as if he’d stroked my clit. That odd mixture of danger and security made me want him more than ever.

  By the time Oses slid his hands beneath my armpits to lift me to my feet, the insides of my thighs were slick. He moved me onto his sleeping mat so that I lay on my back.

  “No talking,” the Nobek told me. He positioned himself so that his mouth hovered just over my pussy. “All I want to hear are your moans as you come for me.”

  He levered my legs so that they draped over his huge shoulders. Then he enveloped my cunt’s lips in a thorough lover’s kiss that got him those moans right away.

  I’d tried to be the best oral sex giver in the cosmos minutes before, but Oses had me beat by a mile. His wicked tongue found every nook and cranny of my pussy. Not one iota of my trembling lips was missed as he licked, mouthed, nibbled, sucked ... oh you name it, he did it. By turns he was tender then demanding. One moment I sighed to receive the gentlest kiss on my clit, the next I yelled when his tongue stabbed in and out of my core, fucking me hard.

  Oses hadn’t told me to stay still or keep my hands to myself, so I didn’t. That Nobek got his long hair pulled,
his neck and shoulders scratched, and his back kicked. He never let up for a moment or even seemed to notice my wild jerks. He also didn’t lose an instant of what he was doing to me, hanging on like a stubborn tick while I writhed beneath him.

  I was arcing up towards orgasm at a steady pace, probably only a few minutes away from it, when Oses shoved two thick fingers in my pussy. At the same time, he sucked my clit deep into his mouth, his tongue lashing it unmercifully all the while. I went from future climax to right-the-fuck-now climax. Within seconds of him hammering my cunt and rubbing my clit, I was screaming my head off. Ecstasy slammed into my groin, engulfing me in strong throbs of wondrous release. Pleasure rose and fell, rose and fell, first like a thunderous tide. Bit by bit, it tapered to slower, gentler washes that lapped delicately throughout my body.

  I sighed happy and sated as Oses’ fingers slipped from my sheath. He chuckled to see me so relaxed and loose-limbed on his bed. “Was it a good one, pet?”

  “The best,” I answered. I relaxed into compliance as he teased my anus open with slick fingers. I thought Oses was ready to claim his turn as soon as I was stretched properly.

  I thought wrong.

  With one finger working to ease me open, Oses went back down to eat pussy. And when I say eat, I mean freakin’ gobble. That man fucking feasted on my crotch like no one ever had before. His tongue and mouth ... oh. I don’t even know how to describe what he was doing. At the same time, he seized my clit between fingers and thumb and rubbed me straight to glory. I hadn’t even caught my breath from the last climax before the next one roared through me.

  Oses continued to work at me with a will. No sooner would one upheaval end but another arrived to take its place. I was dimly aware that the one finger in my ass became two, then three. Maybe he stuffed in more; I couldn’t have said. Not with that brutal mouth sucking and slurping, not with that tongue fucking me, not with the other hand stroking my poor swollen clit. I yanked some of Oses’ hair out. I know I did, because I later found the long strands stuck between my fingers. It didn’t stop him, just like my crazed bucking and shrieks didn’t stop him. I don’t think he noticed.

  Oses finally lifted his face from my crotch, his lips smeared with my honey. Licking them clean, he got up off the mat and went to the wall to open a drawer. All I could do was lay gasping on the bed. I had no strength to move. My twat ached; whether from the frenzied cunnilingus or devastating orgasms, I couldn’t tell. I was demolished.

  Oses turned to me, pulling a long wand-like device from the drawer. At the end of its length was what looked like a fuzzy white tennis ball. Staring at me, he pushed a button on the wand. The tennis ball hummed to life, vibrating hard. The Nobek took a step towards me.

  I found a burst of energy. In an instant, I scrambled across the mat, rushing for the door and not caring that I was as naked as the day I was born. In a panic to avoid being made to climax any more, I moved fast.

  Oses moved faster.

  I was halfway off the bed when his hand closed around my ankle. He didn’t yank me or pull hard or do anything dangerous to my person. Instead, he dragged me inexorably back up onto the mat, slow and steady, his eyes bright with excitement.

  “You don’t run from a Nobek, Shalia,” he said in the growliest voice I’d ever heard from him. “Now I really want to make you scream.”

  But I couldn’t help but fight to escape. Damn it, my lady bits throbbed from what Oses had already done to me. A vibrator was going to make it worse.

  Oses waited to let me have it only long enough to get me safely back on the mat, where thrashing around wouldn’t see me hurt. He was vicious, but caring in his brutal way. Does that make any sense? I’m sure it doesn’t.

  At any rate, I was still on my hands and one knee, still trying to pull myself free from that hand on my ankle, when he got me close enough to use the wand. All of the sudden, deep vibrations nestled against my clit, shocking it into brutal awareness once more. I screamed as my pussy seemed to draw itself up to that awful, wonderful thrumming. My cunt was like a moth to a flame with that thing; the vibrator meant utter destruction but Pussy had to have it.

  I came in a heaving mass of anguished nirvana. My elbows unhinged, spilling me face-first into the bed linens, which muffled my screams. All strength bled out of me as every ounce of energy condensed in my guts to expel monstrous orgasms.

  I’d come hard enough to go blank before in the past. This time a black hole swallowed me, a black hole filled with jagged-glass sensation that was as much pain as pleasure.

  I came back as Oses rolled me onto my back. The vibrator was gone, thank the prophets, but that hungry Nobek was there, his cocks twin battering rams as he crouched over me.

  “No,” I moaned. “No.”

  He paused. His pupils were huge, swallowing up the purple irises. His lips were parted open, showing that his fangs were down. Veins stood out on those monstrous muscles of his. Oses looked more animal than man. Yet he stopped and watched me carefully.

  “If you truly can’t take it, say sholt.”

  His cocks were livid and purple with need. That Nobek showed every sign that he was ready to explode. And yet he somehow made sure I remembered I could stop him. Somewhere in there, Oses maintained a thread of sanity, enough to put me and what I needed first.

  I’d been his Matara on Finiuld’s ship, his to protect, to die and kill for. I realized then that maybe it hadn’t ended with our rescue after all ... for either of us.

  Damn it, I’m not a great person, but I take care of mine too. My pussy could have been on the verge of falling off of me, but I wouldn’t deny Oses what he so clearly needed. I opened my arms to him.

  “Your pet wants her master,” I said.

  Even then, Oses hesitated. “You are sure?”

  “Yes, Master.”

  That was all he needed to hear. Trembling from head to toe with restrained arousal, Oses entered me with care more suited to an Imdiko. I appreciated the tenderness, given how swollen and sensitive I’d become. I murmured sweet words as he slid in and out of me, stroking his working face with my fingertips, running my hands over his massive, scarred chest, playing with his dark brown nipples to make him shout. He came hard minutes later, screaming every bit as much as he’d made me scream.

  I healed a little bit through our encounter, I think. I’d been reminded throughout our romp of what had happened in the Ofetuchan ship. Yet it hadn’t shattered me or ruined any of the sex. Instead, it reminded me of the tiny bright points of our captivity. In Oses, I had a man who put me and my child above his own safety. I belonged to someone who would lay down his life for me. Even if he couldn’t keep my body safe, Oses could keep pieces of my heart and soul intact.

  So I guess I fell in love despite all my best attempts to not do so. Yet it’s a weird kind of love because I know I will let Oses go. He has no clan. His is a dangerous world out here in space, a world that suits him too perfectly to ask him to give it up. It’s a world I don’t dare ask my child to share in. Oses and I cannot be together beyond this trip, and I know that.

  Somehow, it’s okay. The kind of bond we share is made of a damaging time anyway. I can’t imagine us in a nice little house with the white picket fence and a dog, not after the horror of Little Creep. I think I can love this beast of a Nobek without feeling so much of the ripped-apart angst I experience when I lost Clan Dusa. I can love him, and I can leave. I’ll feel the loss when the time comes, but I think I’ll feel more the gratitude and deep, abiding joy that I shared this small moment in time with Oses.

  These thoughts drifted through my head as we showered together, had dinner, and then crawled back into Oses’ bed to get some rest. I’d wanted to sleep good for a change. I damned sure got my wish last night. I had no nightmares.

  April 3, later

  Oses dropped by my quarters in the middle of the day today. I was as glad to see him as if it had been a week since we last got together. He showed up at my door and I greeted him with an enthusiastic
smooch. You’d never know we got frisky just last night.