Masked Indulgence

by Michelle Love

  Lila chewed over her words. ‘I’m not sure Rich would be up for that. And to be honest…it’s the trust part I have a problem with for now.’

  She really didn’t want to tell Delphine about Camilla, but she realized, now, that it was a big part of her hesitation. ‘I’ve always had trust issues with men,’ she confided, trying to deflect attention from Richard, ‘so, it’s my problem rather than Rich’s and something I’m working on.’

  ‘There’s no reason you have to get married soon…take your time, make my son wait.’ Delphine grinned wickedly. ‘I’m sure every bride goes through this. But sometimes, marriage doesn’t have to be a prison, sometimes it’s the open door. Do you know how many more opportunities you’ll have as Richard’s wife?’

  Lila paled. ‘Delphine, I do not want his or your money, I’ve always made that clear. I’m not a gold-digger.’

  ‘Oh, bless you child I know that. Do you think we’d be so welcoming if you were? That damned Camilla was, ugh. Loathsome creature. You are worth a million of her. But let’s be practical; once you’re married, you will be rich too. It just goes with the territory. And don’t immediately assume that’s a bad thing; look what you could do with it. Build better children’s homes, work for charities, or pay for further education in your chosen field.’

  Lila’s eyebrows shot up. ‘I had never thought of it that way.’

  ‘Well, do. Money isn’t evil, people who spend it selfishly are. And you are not one of those people.’

  Lila had to admit she felt better after talking to Delphine, but when she went home that night, she found Richard in a foul mood.

  ‘What’s the matter, baby?’

  Richard, his tie pulled down and a heavy glass of scotch in his hand, threw a copy of the National Enquirer at her. ‘Want to tell me about this?’

  She picked it up, seeing her own face staring back at her. She frowned then paled as she saw the headline. Beauty hits the jackpot with Billionaire #2.

  Oh, fuck…

  Now…Upper East Side, Manhattan

  ‘How do you feel?’

  Cora and Delphine exchanged worried glances as Lila looked around the apartment as if she couldn’t remember being here. She’d lived here with Richard for the last year, out of convenience for school more than anything, but she had never felt at home here. Her home was the little house they were building out of the city. It was the one place she really felt she belonged with him because she had put in as much work and as much money as she could afford into it.

  She smiled at the other women. ‘I’m fine. A little overwhelmed is all. I guess I’ll just take my case into the bedroom for a minute.’

  Cora darted forward before she could grab her bag. ‘Don’t you dare,’ she chided Lila, ‘You need to take it easy.’

  Lila sighed but smiled at her. ‘Sorry. Of course.’ She wondered what Cora would think if she knew about the extra-athletic fuck she’d had a few days ago. Lila bit back a grin. Noah Applebaum…I wish I could stop thinking about you.

  She loved them both but wanted to be alone – ha, alone. That was a thing of the past; Delphine had arranged twenty-four-hour security for her. No-one could get close.

  Delphine fussed around her, making her tea, plumping pillows until Lila begged her to sit down. ‘You’re making me dizzy.’

  Delphine sat down as Cora reappeared. ‘I’ve unpacked everything so you don’t need to,’ the young redhead smiled shyly at her.

  ‘You didn’t need to do that,’ Lila held out her hand to her, ‘but thank you.’

  For a few minutes, Lila sipped her tea while the others waited. She grinned at their expectant faces.

  ‘Guys, relax, please. I’m good.’

  Delphine shared another glance with Cora. ‘Sweetheart…do you know what you want to do next?’

  Lila nodded. ‘Absolutely. I want to see Richard.’

  Then…Upper East Side, Manhattan

  Carnegie’s new fiancée, twenty-five year old Lila Tierney, is an up and coming artist studying at the Big Apple’s School of Visual Arts. The couple’s engagement announcement hit the society pages just as it’s been revealed that Carnegie is not the first billionaire to have crossed paths with the raven-haired beauty. Six years ago, billionaire art dealer Carter Delano was rumored to have dated the young artist for a few weeks before breaking things off. Tierney was said to be devastated, but six years later, she’s finally got her rich young man…

  ‘I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or lose my shit,’ Lila said, tossing the rag aside. ‘That’s so far away from the truth I can’t even tell you.’

  Richard was still glowering. ‘But you didn’t ever mention it.’

  Lila shrugged. ‘Why would I? Have we ever discussed our exes?’ Except for Camilla, she wanted to add but didn’t want to be spiteful. ‘And I don’t even count Carter as an ex. I was doing a friend a favor by double dating with him and his brother. Carter and I got along as friends but we never even slept together. It was nothing.’ She looked at his angry face. ‘What are you really angry about, Rich? Because I can’t believe it’s over this shit.’

  Richard’s body slumped. ‘It’s not…I’m sorry, I’m sorry, baby, forgive me.’ He dropped into a chair. Lila pulled up a chair and sat next to him.

  She took his hand. ‘What is it?’

  Rich sighed. ‘Judith. She was the one who planted the story about you.’

  Lila rolled her eyes. ‘So what? At least she’s staying away from Cora. I can take anything Judith throws at me, I have no skeletons.’

  Rich smiled sadly. ‘I’m sorry she’s doing this to you, darling. And I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. I guess I…’

  He stopped and shook his head. Lila touched his face. ‘What?’

  ‘I guess I almost wanted it to be true, that you had some secrets so I could feel some sort of parity. God, I don’t know, I just can’t get past my…indiscretion.’

  Lila sat back and sighed. ‘God, Rich…I thought this was done with months ago. Look, it happened, you apologized, I accepted that apology. Let it go.’

  She got up, clearly annoyed. Why did he have to keep bringing this up? It was almost like he wanted to feel bad, feel sorry for himself. She went to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of beers from the refrigerator. Closing the door, she looked at the calendar. The wedding was fifteen months away.

  Fifteen months. Lila closed her eyes. What’s the matter with you, woman? Why does the thought of being married scare the crap out of you? You love him, don’t you?

  I don’t know. Oh god…I don’t know…

  Now…Riker’s Island, New York City

  Her heart was thumping hard against her ribs as she walked through to the visitors’ room. As she sat down in front of the glass partition, she felt vomit rise in the back of her throat and tried not to gag.

  ‘Breathe through your mouth, honey, it gets easier to bear,’ said a kind faced woman to her right. Lila smiled weakly then, as the door to the prisoner’s side opened, her stomach dropped.

  Rich had aged in the months he’d been incarcerated, his face covered with a thick beard. He sat down and looked at her, placing his hand flat against the glass for moment. Lila tried to smile, put her hand against the glass to mirror him. It was a shock to see him so broken.

  He picked up the phone. As she put the receiver to her ear, she heard his shaky breathing.

  ‘Lila…oh god, Lila…’ He started to sob and her heart fractured. She wanted to put her arms around him and tell him it was okay.

  ‘I didn’t do this, Lila…I swear on everything I am, that I did not do this.’

  ‘I know, Rich, I know…don’t you think I know that?’

  ‘I would never, ever hurt you, my love, never…’

  He hadn’t heard her, she realized. ‘Richard. Richard, look at me.’

  His sobs became gasps and he looked up, eyes streaming. ‘God, I had forgotten how beautiful you are.’

  She ignored the compliment. ‘Richard, listen. I kno
w you didn’t do this. I know with every fiber of my being that you would never hurt me, let alone stab me.’

  Rich flinched. ‘God…they showed me pictures, Lila, of you, of your injuries, of how they found you…baby, I’m so sorry.’

  Lila shook her head. ‘Don’t think about that. We need to concentrate on getting you out of here.’ She stopped, looked away for a second. ‘Rich…I know you were…with someone else. It’s okay, it really is so don’t keep anything from me. I need to know everything so I can help you.’

  Richard’s face crumpled again and he began to sob and Lila let him cry himself out. ‘Rich,’ she said softly, ‘It’s okay. We both have our…mistakes.’ She felt strangely disloyal to Noah saying that. ‘Please, take a deep breath and tell me everything.’

  So he did. To her great relief, it wasn’t Camilla he had strayed with this time, but his new assistant, Molly. The affair had only begun three months before Lila’s stabbing but she could tell that Molly had been more than a fling. She felt strangely relieved.

  After he’d finished, they stared at each other. ‘I love you, you know?’ he said and she nodded.

  ‘I know. I love you too but Rich, we’re not in love anymore, are we?’

  He shook his head sadly. ‘No, I don’t think we are. And I hate saying that. I thought we’d be together forever. I hope you find someone who truly deserves you, Lila, I do. And please, whatever happens to me, to us, please don’t abandon my family. They love you as one of their own.’

  It was Lila’s turn to cry now, tears dripping down her cheeks. ‘I would never do that, I love them too.’

  He put his hand against the glass again. ‘Lila…will you come visit me again?’

  ‘Of course. Every day. Every day, Rich, as long as you’re in here.’

  She was still thinking about him on the ride home. As the town car sped through the city, she felt a peace settle inside her. Her cell phone rang. Charlie.

  ‘Hey little one, how did it go?’

  Lila sighed. ‘Good. Really good. Charlie, I need your help…we have to start trying to free Rich – ‘

  ‘Are you serious?’

  Lila pulled the phone away from her ear for a moment. When she spoke again, her voice was strained with anger. ‘Charlie, enough. I know Richard didn’t try and kill me. I know it.’

  ‘Because of your years of detective training? Or a hunch?’

  ‘You weren’t in that dressing room, Charlie, you didn’t have a knife stuck repeatedly in your belly, and you didn’t hear him, feel him, and smell him. Don’t you think I would have recognized my own fucking fiancé?’ She was mad now, mad at Charlie for his antagonism, his negativity.

  There was a silence on the other end of the phone then… ‘You’re right. I’m sorry, boo. I’m just frustrated that we haven’t found whoever did it. I’m scared I’ll lose you…but, forgive me, the guy cheated on you if nothing else.’

  Lila sighed. ‘That’s not anything you have to worry about now. We agreed to break our engagement. But that will not stop me from fighting for his freedom.’

  Another silence then a soft laugh. ‘Sweetheart…I hope that guy knows what he's lost. I’ll come by after work and we’ll talk.’

  ‘I’d like that.’

  When she got home, she showered and then got into bed for a nap. The day had exhausted her; her body ached, her mind fatigued and sad. Her head pounded and she felt nauseous.

  She awoke to the sound of someone pounding on the door. She staggered out of bed in her shorts and t-shirt to see her security guard coming in the door.

  ‘I’m sorry to disturb you, Miss Tierney, but there’s a police officer here to see you, says it’s urgent.’

  Lila sighed. ‘It’s just Charlie, let him in.’

  Charlie was grim-faced when he came in but Lila rolled her eyes at him. ‘What’s with the drama? I was sleeping.’

  ‘Lila…’

  Something in his tone made her stop. ‘What is it, Boo?’

  ‘Lila…sweetheart, I have something to tell you and it’s not going to be easy.’ Charlie took her hands, his expression grim but his eyes were sad. He led her to the couch and made her sit down.

  Lila looked at him, ice flowing through her veins. ‘What?’

  Charlie cleared his throat and when he spoke his voice was soft. ‘Lila, there was an incident at the prison. In the exercise yard. Some guys were whaling on a new guy and Richard tried to stop it. Lila, he got stabbed, in the back. They called the emergency services straight away and he was rushed here, to the emergency room a little over an hour ago.’

  Lila was shaking her head from side-to-side. She wanted to scream, wanted to hit Charlie for what he was about to tell her. ‘No…no…’

  ‘Darling…he died forty minutes ago.’

  She stared at him in horror. No…no, this isn’t happening…

  Richard was dead.

  Lean Into Me

  Part Two

  Upper East Side, Manhattan

  There was a quiet sadness in the apartment as Lila dressed for the funeral. She still couldn’t believe it; Richard was dead. Her love for so long, the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with until that terrible day all those months ago. The day she was brutally stabbed and left for dead. Somehow, even though she had loved Richard, she knew that day marked the end of one life and the beginning of another.

  She looked around the apartment. It rang with loneliness. This was never my home, she thought now. I may have spent every night here, with Rich, but it was never really my home. It was too opulent for her simple tastes, too designed, too neat. She preferred her space to be cluttered and cozy.

  She had already told Delphine, Richard’s mother, that she wanted to move, that being in the penthouse apartment was too painful. Delphine had understood. ‘You can go anywhere you want now,’ she had told Lila, ‘everything Richard had is now yours, with our blessing.’

  God. Lila Tierney, the girl from the children’s home, the girl who from sixteen to eighteen had lived in an old car, was a millionaire. She would give every penny away to have Richard back in their lives, even though before he’d died, they’d agreed to break up. She still wanted her friend, for herself, for his family.

  ‘I miss you, Boo,’ she said aloud to the empty apartment. A knock on the door made her start, chuckle softly to herself. If this was a movie, she thought as she went to get the door, then Richard would be standing on the other side, a big grin on his face.

  Instead, her oldest, most trusted friend, Charlie, half-smiled at her. ‘Hey, you. Ready?’

  She tried to smile back but just nodded. ‘Ready.’

  He offered her his arm as they walked to the elevator, his big warm hand covering hers. It wasn’t until they were settled in the town car, that it hit Lila. Richard’s funeral. Richard was gone. That funny, erudite, adventurous live-wire of a man was dead. How could that be? Her breath hitched and caught in her chest and she felt her composure slip.

  Charlie took one look at her and wrapped his arms around her and let her sob out her heartbreak.

  Westchester

  Harrison ‘Harry’ Carnegie felt utterly out of place in the home he had grown up in. Having lived in Australia for the last fifteen years, he’d forgotten how organized and structured Westchester gatherings could be. More than that, he hated to see his parents, his sister Cora, so utterly devastated.

  Delphine had introduced him to Lila at dinner last night and he’d chatted to the petite brunette, seeing exactly what his brother had in her. What she’d been through this last year…poor girl. And the devastation on the faces of his family was echoed in her lovely, heartbroken eyes. He’d liked her very much.

  Now though, circulating through the gathered mourners, Harry felt discombobulated, as if the person they were burying hadn’t been his own brother. He and Richard had been close growing up but as their lives moved in different directions, the inevitable distance grew.

  And he just couldn’t get his head around
the fact that not only was Rich murdered, but was in prison at the time. In prison! Harry shook his head – what the hell had happened to his family? His sister Cora was a wreck and, according to his mother, only thirty days sober. He looked across at her now, fragile and sparrow-like in her black dress, and his heart pounded with sadness.

  ‘Hey kiddo,’ he said moving to her side and wrapping a big arm around her. ‘This is a shitstorm, isn’t it?’

  Cora smiled up at him through bloodshot eyes. ‘This last year, really, Harry.’

  ‘Sorry I wasn’t around for it, punkin.’

  She wrapped her tiny arms around his waist. ‘Don’t apologize. I’m glad you were spared at least some of it.’ She sighed. ‘Lila looks so sick, don’t you think?’

  Harry glanced over at his brother’s ex-fiancée. ‘I don’t know her well enough to say but yeah, she looks tired. I don’t know who half these people are, Cora. Richard’s friends? And who’s that dude over there that looks like he might go postal at any minute?’

  Cora chuckled. ‘That’s Charlie; he always looks like that but he’s a big softy, really. To me, at least, he’s been very kind.’

  ‘Little crush, sis?’

  Cora giggled through her blushes. ‘Noooo….He’s Lila’s oldest friend, and a cop.’ She broke off suddenly. ‘His partner, Riley, is lovely too.’

  ‘He’s gay?’

  Cora laughed. ‘No, his police partner, idiot. Hey, come meet some people.’

  Harry balked and made an excuse – he really didn’t want to meet ‘people’. Cora, shaking her head, stuck her tongue out at him and smiled.

  ‘Hermit.’

  ‘Twig.’

  ‘Old man.’

  ‘Wise-ass.’

  Harry smiled after his sister….oh lord, talking of sisters; Judith was bearing down on him. Out of all the Carnegie children, Harry was the only one she liked – adored, actually. The feeling was definitely not mutual.