Gabriel obediently, and wordlessly, spread his fingers over Jack’s stomach, feeling the muscles tightening at his touch.
“Gabe,” Jack said softly, his movement faltering as he came, untouched, spurting hot strands of semen onto Gabriel’s stomach. His orgasm made him tighten around Gabriel, but it was the sight of Jack coming, more than anything, that brought Gabriel’s climax crashing over him. Jack leaned forward, levering himself up enough to give Gabriel’s body the freedom to thrust once, and then Gabriel was filling the condom and saying Jack’s name on something close to a whimper.
Jack dropped forward onto the other man’s body, kissing breathlessly at his chest and shoulder and neck as he reached back and freed himself. Both of their bodies were slick with sweat, and Jack’s semen was now smeared between their stomachs.
Jack found Gabriel’s mouth with his and said against his lips, “We definitely need a shower, now.”
Gabriel’s laugh was cut short when Jack plunged his tongue into his mouth.
***
Gabriel was humming Michael Jackson’s “The Way You Make Me Feel,” which made Jack smile as he walked into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter, watching as Gabriel put the finishing touches on breakfast—he’d poured salt into his left hand and was using his right to sprinkle pinches over the eggs.
“Did you wash your hands?” Jack joked, even though they’d been in the shower together less than an hour earlier.
“Did I wash—I seem to recall at some point last night you stuck your tongue in my ass,” Gabriel said without looking back.
Jack threw his head back to laugh; in spite of the emotional morning, he was in a remarkably good mood. Not in spite of it, he thought. Because of it.
“I bought salt but forgot I didn’t have shakers,” Gabriel said. “Did you talk to Alex?”
“Yeah, he and the rest of the kids are going to the hospital together in about an hour. I told him I’d meet him there. Since you’re going anyway, I thought we could go together.”
Gabriel rubbed his hands together over the garbage to get rid of the excess salt. “Okay,” he said.
“I mean, together at the same time,” Jack clarified. “In separate cars.”
“Okay,” Gabriel repeated, grabbing the plates from the counter and turning to head toward the table. He looked at Jack. “How do you look this good on a couple hours of sleep?” he asked.
“I’m used to working long nights,” Jack answered. As Gabriel passed him, Jack reached out and poked lightly at his hip. “But I’m going to switch back to mornings.”
Gabriel shot him a sidelong look and set the plates on the small table. “Yeah?” he asked. “Can you do that?”
“I have seniority, I can work whatever shift I want,” Jack said, sliding into one of the chairs. “I was working nights so I was home to have breakfast with Alex and see him off to school. And…because the nights were rough, you know? Alex is old enough—and responsible enough—to be home alone at night, but I still feel like I’ve been negligent.”
“He knows you’ve done the best you could,” Gabriel said, sitting across from Jack and looking at him. “But you’ve only lived here in town for a few years?”
“Kept my seniority when I transferred. I like the beard,” Jack said.
Gabriel was surprised, and hesitated with his fork halfway to his mouth. “I was going to shave…” he said. “I’ve been sort of…lax lately…”
“Hmm. Shave if you want, but it’s pretty fucking hot,” Jack said, suddenly grinning. “And I’ve never been a beard or mustache guy.”
“I’ve never really liked myself with facial hair. And Natalie never liked it—” Gabriel stopped, dropping his eyes to his fork.
After a few seconds of silence, Jack said, “You mean during sex?”
Gabriel shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. “I don’t…”
“No, I’m not asking you to talk about her—I’ll just say she’s lucky because I know what that mouth of yours can do. But if that’s a deciding factor, I’ll go on record that I don’t mind whisker burns on my thighs—or anywhere else.”
Gabriel laughed, raising his eyes to Jack’s. “Well, it’ll save me some time in the mornings.” Jack put his elbows on the table, regarding him, and Gabriel lowered his fork back down to his plate. “What?”
“You feeling okay this morning?” Jack asked. “You seem a little…subdued.”
“Just thinking about all the bedding I need to wash today, since I don’t have spare sheets,” Gabriel joked. Jack smiled, but he continued to study the other man’s face, waiting. “I’m good, really,” Gabriel said after a few moments. “I was…thinking about something you said in Jeff’s memorial. You—”
“You read his obituary?” Jack asked, straightening in his seat. He supposed it shouldn’t be a surprise, and yet it was. Jeff had been cremated, and the memorial service had been small—family and a few close friends. Jack had written a eulogy for the newspaper, at Jeff’s request. “I wrote it while he was still alive,” he admitted, swallowing. “So he could read it. He asked me to.”
“I know,” Gabriel answered quietly. “Alex told me.”
“It was awful. I couldn’t refuse him but it was like…pulling my guts out and splattering them on the paper. I didn’t want to believe it was coming, even though he’d accepted it. But I couldn’t refuse him, and I realize now that he knew—He knew I’d never be able to do it after he was gone.”
“I’m sorry,” Gabriel said, “I didn’t mean to—”
“No, it’s alright,” Jack assured him, once more leaning forward to put his elbows on the table. “Tell me.”
“You said he never gave you a chance to worry.”
Jack smiled. “No. You know, I met him in a club, and when I saw him across the room, all I could think was, God I wish he would come over here. I was pretty confident, would’ve walked up to most guys in that place and struck up a conversation, but I was intimidated as hell when I spotted him. And he looked over at me, and I almost dropped my drink all over myself for getting caught staring at him.
“And—I don’t even know how it happened, but the next thing I knew, he was right beside me, and he leaned a hip against the bar, calm and cool as could be, and he smiled at me and asked my name…” Jack shook his head. He was still amazed by how quickly it had all happened. Amazed by the fact that they’d never looked back. “I went home with him that night and when I woke up in the morning, I fully expected him to kick me out. Instead, the little shit made me breakfast,” he laughed, gesturing toward his plate in demonstration. “He took me sailing. Literally. And it was just…easy. Every doubt I ever had, he erased like that,” he said, snapping his fingers softly. “We were just always together. He came over to me in a club one night and never left my side.” Until he had to, he thought. Jack blinked the sting from his eyes. “So, yes, he never gave me time to worry about anything. It was always ‘we can do this, baby,’ and I believed him. I always believed him and he was always right.”
Gabriel was silent, poking absently at his breakfast with his fork.
“Why were you thinking about that?” Jack prompted. He reached out and put a hand on Gabriel’s wrist. “Gabe, I know I was a mess this morning, but you can—”
“Jeff told me that you were his talisman, the one thing that kept him calm no matter what. He said you were his protection against the negativity in the world. I…don’t want this to come off the wrong way. I just…think you should hear that everything you say about him, he said about you. That you took away his worries. That you were a better father than he was. That he was afraid to let you out of his sight because you’d realize you could do better. That he never knew what he wanted out of life until the moment he saw you. You need to understand that we hardly ever talked about you, Jack. Just in terms of Alex, helping him with homework, that kind of thing. Jeff, he threw these things out casually, you know? I know you know he loved you, I’m not saying you need reassurances. It’s only that w
e don’t hear how people talk about us when we’re not around.”
Jack smiled, rubbing his thumb along the side of Gabriel’s wrist. “Thank you,” he said. “When he read that, he looked at me and said ‘I wish you could see yourself like I see you.’ I think we all wonder if we’re good enough for the people we love and we all hope they know how much we care about them.” He paused. “I wish you could hear how people talk about you when you’re not around,” he added.
“Do you, uh…” Gabriel cleared his throat, looking across the table at Jack. “Do you have plans over Thanksgiving?”
“Family dinner at my sister Caroline’s house,” Jack answered, regarding him steadily. “She lives about an hour from here. Sort of an annual tradition, you know.”
“Right,” Gabriel said.
“I assumed you’d be having something with Natalie and Ben,” Jack said. “But if you want…”
Gabriel shook his head and laughed. “I’m not trying to invite myself to your Thanksgiving dinner, Jack,” he said.
“You don’t have to invite yourself, I’ll ask you,” Jack answered. He tipped his head. “But if that’s not what you meant, then what? You want to do something else together?”
“Do you want to meet Nat for real?” Gabriel asked. “I know you were joking about getting together to talk about me—”
“Was I?”
“—and maybe it’s a stupid idea, maybe it’s too soon for all of us, but I thought maybe some sort of, like…double-date thing might break some of the awkwardness…God, I can’t believe I just said ‘double-date.’”
“First, could we back up a step and clarify—are you asking me on a date?” Jack asked with a grin.
“Can I ask if you wanna go steady?” Gabriel asked.
Jack laughed. “You gonna pin me?”
“I think we already pinned each other,” Gabriel answered, and Jack laughed again, leaning back in his chair. Gabriel smiled. “I don’t have a pin or a letterman’s jacket but I can give you my old college sweatshirt if you want,” he joked.
“Okay. Let’s unpack this. Yes, I want the sweatshirt, and you can’t say you were kidding because no backsies. You can wait until my birthday if you want—that’s next month—but I expect some chocolate, too, if we’re going to be going steady. Third, yes to that. Fourth, yes to a double-date, and it doesn’t have to be public if you don’t want and if it is public, it doesn’t have to be here in town. I don’t want you worrying about that. I have one concern, though. Does your wife’s boyfriend know about you and me?”
Gabriel blinked a few times. “Sorry, I got caught on ‘your wife’s boyfriend,’ good lord that’s a weird phrase to hear. Especially from someone with whom I’m newly going steady,” he added with a laugh. “And…I don’t know, to be honest. I’ll talk to Nat. Maybe…if you feel like it and you have time…we could go up to see my son at school, go out to dinner there? Ben has to work the weekend so it would be a hassle for him to come home and turn right around to head back. Alex could come along, too, but if this is all too soon or weird, you can—”
“I would love to meet your son,” Jack cut in, regarding him over the table. “We can work out the details before next weekend?”
“Sure,” Gabriel said, pushing to his feet. “I’ll heat up your eggs,” he said, reaching for Jack’s plate.
Jack turned in his chair and, grabbing Gabriel’s wrist, tugged him forward. Gabriel didn’t resist, but he made a sound of surprise when Jack pulled him onto his lap. “You can heat up something else, if you want,” Jack said, wrapping his arms around Gabriel and kissing his shoulder.
Gabriel, sitting sideways on Jack’s lap, crooked an arm over the other man’s shoulder and behind his head, holding onto the back of the chair. “I’m too heavy to sit—ah,” he said, as Jack pulled him more snugly against himself. “Dios mío,” he added, his hand tightening on the back of the chair when Jack bent his head forward to nuzzle the side of his neck. “We—have to leave soon—”
“I really like this beard on you,” Jack murmured into his scruff.
“So you said,” Gabriel answered, his hand fisting on his thigh. “But we already showered and don’t have enough time—”
Jack lifted his mouth and kissed him, stalling his objection. Gabriel could feel the other man’s growing arousal against his hip, and his own body was responding. Jack drew back a few inches, looking over Gabriel’s dilated eyes and flushed cheeks and glistening lips.
“I can get you off in three minutes,” he said, and Gabriel immediately hardened. “And you can get me off in…probably a minute or less,” Jack added with a wink and a smile. “Cleanup will be a breeze, I promise. Whataya say?”
“I say there’s no way it’ll take me three minutes,” Gabriel answered. He was leaning into Jack’s chest, and could feel his heartbeat.
Jack grinned. “It will if I want it to,” he said.
Chapter Eleven
“Hey, Kathleen,” Gabriel said quietly. “How’s Eliza doing?”
Eliza’s mother had just stepped out of her daughter’s room to find Gabriel approaching the door. He could see the worry and pain and exhaustion in her face, and when she reached for him, pulling him into a hug, he rubbed lightly at her back. They weren’t friends, but he’d known her for twenty years; a lifetime ago, he’d been her teacher. Now, she was the parent of his student.
Kathleen Kaye had no family aside from her daughter. The entire Drama Club was currently in the waiting room—again—with Jack, Natalie, and Arnie, but there was no one to relieve Kathleen’s vigil over her daughter.
“Thank you, Gabe,” Kathleen said, pulling back and swiping at her eyes. “For everything you did. She’s doing okay but she won’t talk to me. She’s…” She hesitated, shaking her head. “Gabe, she’s pregnant,” she said. “Pregnant. She’s seventeen. She won’t talk about it. What am I supposed to do?”
Gabriel didn’t have time to dwell on the surprise of Eliza being pregnant. With his hand on Kathleen’s shoulder, he gave the only advice he could: “You make sure she knows you love her and that you’re here for her no matter what.”
“Do you know who it could be?” Kathleen asked. “I don’t know of her having a boyfriend, do you think…someone…”
“I don’t know,” he said, squeezing her shoulder. “Why don’t you go get something to eat, I’ll stay until you—”
“I left her home alone,” she said, looking at him with guilt stamped across her face. “I haven’t seen her in over a week. What kind of—”
“Kath,” he interrupted. “Look at me. You needing to work does not make you a bad parent. Eliza’s a good kid, a responsible kid. We’ll figure this out and get her the help she needs, alright? But right now she needs you to take care of yourself so you can take care of her. Get something to eat, maybe get some fresh air. The rain’s letting up. I’ll sit with her until you get back.”
“Maybe she’ll talk to you,” she said, touching his arm. “She won’t tell me anything.”
Gabriel saw Natalie coming down the hallway, walking slowly so she wouldn’t interrupt. He gestured her forward with his chin, and she nodded. “Why don’t you let Nat take you to the cafeteria,” Gabriel said.
Natalie stopped beside Kathleen and reached for her arm. “Come on, love,” she said. She’d known the woman as long as Gabriel had. “We’ll get some food. Do you want me to bring you a change of clothes, or drive you anywhere?” She was already leading Kathleen away, and Gabriel was once more struck with an overwhelming gratitude for his soon-to-be-ex-wife. She offered him a smile as she turned away.
Gabriel wasn’t sure Eliza would want to see him, and he didn’t know what reaction to expect when he walked into her hospital room. She was lying in the bed, looking impossibly young and fragile, and he couldn’t help remembering the stickiness of her blood on his clothes and the limpness of her body as he’d carried her to the car. He swallowed against the burn of bile in his throat and moved into the room quietly.
; He thought she was asleep. Her face was turned partway toward the rain-splattered window, her eyes closed. She was hooked up to a monitor, and it beeped steadily.
Pregnant, he thought as he lowered himself into a chair. He couldn’t imagine how frightened she must’ve been, how much stress she’d been under, how much pain had led her to such a desperate act.
She turned her head slowly on the pillow, opening her eyes. She looked at him for a few seconds, and he offered a small smile. “Mr. S?” she asked finally, her brow wrinkling in confusion. “Where’s my mom?”
“She went to get something to eat,” he answered. “I told her I’d stay here until she gets back.”
Eliza turned her gaze toward the ceiling. “I don’t need a babysitter,” she muttered.
“Of course not,” he said. “I’m here to keep you company.”
“You shouldn’t have bothered,” she said.
“It’s not a bother to—”
“That’s not what I mean,” she said, so quietly that he barely heard her.
He stopped, his stomach twisting at her words. “Eliza,” he started, but she spoke before he could continue.
“Don’t worry. I won’t try again,” she said. The flatness of her voice was no source of reassurance. “I just wish you hadn’t found me…”
Gabriel leaned forward, putting a hand on the edge of her bed. “Eliza, you are going to be alright,” he said. “I promise you. I know you’re scared, and…and tired of feeling like you’re swimming against a never-ending current. But you are not alone, Eliza.”
“I should be alone. All I do is hurt people. My mother would be better off without me, and…” She trailed off, putting a hand over her stomach. “I couldn’t even do that right,” she mumbled after a moment.
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