The Price of Freedom

by Every, Donna

  Richard was relieved that there were no legal obstacles to their getting married. Any other issues they would deal with as they came up, provided that Deborah accepted his proposal.

  “Thank you, Uncle. I’m very relieved to hear that because I really did not fancy moving to England. We’ll take one step at a time.”

  They discussed the arrangements Thomas had made with the housing agent and Richard was eager to meet with him so that he could begin looking at houses. He wanted to know if his uncle had seen Deborah but it was almost as if he was reluctant to ask in case he heard bad news. As if sensing this Thomas took pity on him and told him that he had seen Deborah and he was pretty sure that she still had feelings for him but that he would have to talk with her himself to know for sure.

  Richard wanted to go and see Deborah right away but his uncle took one look at his bloodshot eyes and unshaven face and told him in no uncertain terms that he needed to bathe, shave and rest before he approached Deborah.

  Chapter 30

  Richard slept like the dead that night since it was his first proper night of sleep since the storm and the first in a comfortable bed in over two weeks. The bath and the sumptuous meal he had in the boarding house’s dining room also aided his rest but he mostly attributed it to the peace he now felt.

  A feeling of vulnerability that was unfamiliar and uncomfortable came over him at the thought that Deborah had the power to bring him great joy or, he didn’t even want to entertain the thought, great misery. He fervently prayed for the former.

  Washing and dressing quickly Richard shrugged into a well fitted jacket, tied his hair back with a ribbon and headed out the door. He met Thomas downstairs in the dining room for a quick breakfast after which Thomas accompanied him to High Street where Deborah and Sarah lived and had their shop.

  “I wish you all the best,” offered his uncle, shaking his hand. “You have my blessing. Let me know how it turns out.”

  “Thank you, Uncle. I will.”

  The street was not that far from the Careenage where the boat had been pulled up. It was a bustling commercial street with many stores on both sides of the road offering everything from clothes and jewelry to furniture and household items with a few taverns in between to quench the thirst of shoppers.

  He perused the shops as he made his way down the road until without warning he saw a sign a few doors down announcing “Deborah’s Health and Beauty Shop and Sarah’s Sewing Emporium”. He stood for a moment staring at it with a slight smile and felt a surge of pride for Deborah and her mother. Who would believe that less than six months ago they were slaves and now here they were operating a business in Town. He drew in a deep breath and crossed the street.

  Deborah was busy tidying her shelves and putting out some imported scented soap that had arrived the day before. It was still quite early in the morning and she didn’t expect customers until a bit later. Sarah was still upstairs getting ready since she had been up quite late finishing a dress that a customer had ordered for that day.

  She heard a footfall just inside the shop and quickly turned around to see who had come in so early. She felt as if the breath had been sucked out of her and as if to compensate for the lack of oxygen in her body, her heart sped up to increase the flow of blood to her vital organs. She looked in disbelief at Richard standing in her shop with a broad smile on his face. Her eyes devoured him eagerly as she reacquainted herself with the face that Hattie had sworn was more handsome that the master’s and the tall, muscular body that still invaded her dreams some nights. Words deserted her.

  “I can’t believe I have you at a loss for words, Deborah,” teased Richard even as his eyes darkened in the way that she had become so familiar with. Richard was surprised that he could form a sentence when he was so overwhelmed by the sight of Deborah wearing one of the dresses he had bought her and with her hair in a long plait over her shoulder. His fingers itched to unravel it and bury his face in it as he had done so many times in the past.

  “Richard! What are you doing here?” She managed to get out, still frozen in the same position.

  “I’ve decided to take over from our agent and expand our shipping business from Barbados,” he answered as if it was a logical answer. A dozen questions poured into her mind but the one that was foremost came out before she could stop it.

  “Is your wife with you?”

  Richard smiled as her question gave him information that he needed. “I don’t have a wife, yet.” He watched her closely and was satisfied to see the blank look appear that she assumed when she wanted to hide her emotions. She turned back to the shelf to put down some bars of soap that she was still holding.

  “Oh,” was all she said.

  “Actually Ann and I have decided not to marry.”

  Deborah turned back around so quickly that she knocked over the box of soap that was on a stool next to her. Richard crossed the room to help her pick up the bars that had spilled out, secretly pleased with her reaction. As he came close to her, the familiar lemony scent of the soap that she used teased his nose, causing his body to stir in response.

  Without conscious thought he put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her to her feet, cupping her face with his hands and fusing his mouth to hers. There was no gentleness or hesitancy in the kiss as the full force of his long restrained passion broke free. Deborah responded eagerly, burying her fingers in his hair. Richard nudged her backwards until she was pinned between his body and the shelf without taking his lips from hers. The close proximity of his body left no doubt of the extent of his desire for her.

  “Deborah! What you doing?” Sarah demanded from the doorway, making Deborah jump guiltily and push away from Richard. Richard closed his eyes in frustration before turning around to greet Sarah.

  “Master Richard? What you doing in Barbados?” She asked with wide eyes.

  “I’ve come to work here, Sarah. Deborah, we need to talk.”

  “I cannot talk now,” Deborah told him reluctantly. “Our customers will soon be coming in.”

  “I’ll come back this evening when you’re closed. Anyway I have to go and see an agent about renting a house. See you later.” He couldn’t resist running his fingers down her cheek, soliciting a slight shiver from her. He nodded to Sarah, feeling her disapproval surrounding her like a dark cloud, as he passed and left the shop.

  “Deborah, you forget which master you serving now?” Sarah got straight to the point. “And he ain’ engaged to a girl in Carolina?”

  “He said that they decided not to get married.”

  “So what he want with you now?”

  “I don’t know ma, we did not get the chance to talk.”

  “But you get the chance to kiss,” accused Sarah. Deborah’s faced reddened. She had no answer for that so she turned back to the task she was doing when Richard walked into the shop and turned her new life upside down.

  Later that day

  Deborah had just put on the kettle to boil when she heard a knock at the door. Her heart immediately sped up as she knew that it would be Richard. Her mother had already warned her about falling back into his bed even if he was not engaged anymore as they had left that life behind them.

  Deborah was in two minds as she went to open the door. She was hungry for the sight of Richard but was not looking forward to their talk. She knew that she could no longer be with him as she had been before and that he wouldn’t understand. She could now fully empathize with her mother and how she must have felt when she had to end her relationship with Thomas. Not that she had a relationship with Richard anymore, but she would like to. She had missed him so much and if she was honest with herself, she still desired him. How would she endure this?

  Richard waited impatiently for Deborah to open the door and let him in. After the way she responded to him in the shop earlier, he was sure that she still had feelings for him. He couldn’t help but pull her into his arms as he pushed the door closed and buried his face in her neck, where he knew she was ticklis
h.

  “Richard!” she protested breathlessly, squirming away. “You said that you wanted to talk.”

  “Talking can wait,” he said throatily, pulling her back to him. “I missed you. I missed being with you.” His eyes fell to her lips seconds before his lips followed and this time he gently and exquisitely explored her mouth, reacquainting himself with the taste of her.

  Deborah reluctantly tore herself away in case her mother came upon them and gestured towards the kitchen, where she offered him a cup of tea and some cake that Sarah had made. Richard’s eyes followed her hungrily as she moved around the tiny kitchen and she was reminded of the first night that she and Cassie had served dinner when she had felt his eyes on her. This time she was not afraid; at least not in the same way. Now she was afraid that she would not be able to restrain herself from giving into the passion that simmered just below the surface when they were in close proximity of each other. She sent up a prayer for divine help.

  “Richard, what are you really doing in Barbados?” she asked as she sat down, coming straight to the point. Richard hesitated. He could tell that she was still very attracted to him but there was a hesitation in her that he did not understand, especially since he had told her that he was no longer engaged and he wondered if she was involved with someone else.

  He took a deep breath and decided to lay his cards on the table. He couldn’t pretend that he had come on business when the main reason he was in Barbados was because of her. Before he said anything there was something he had to do first.

  “Deborah, before I tell you why I’m in Barbados I need to first of all ask your forgiveness for treating you as less than a human being. I’m sorry for buying you from your uncle in the same way I would buy a horse and for telling you that many women would be happy to be owned by me. My only excuse is that I just didn’t know any different at the time.”

  “What?” Deborah was shocked at his confession as it was the last thing she was expecting.

  “On the way to Barbados we ran into a storm. I did not think that we would make it and I began to reflect on my life and the way I treated you and I asked God for forgiveness and now I’m asking you. I’m so sorry that I made your life a misery and made you pay for your freedom by sleeping with me. Will you forgive me, Deborah?”

  Deborah was stunned and moved to tears at his words. What an awesome God she served who could touch Richard’s heart as he had done hers. She silently thanked him for sparing Richard’s life and allowing her to see him again.

  “I forgive you Richard. How can I not, when God has forgiven me? You know I hated you before you even came to Barbados, and even though you were constantly provoking me, I began to see that deep down you were a good man although you had been brought up to believe that slaves were less than human.”

  “But why are you in Barbados and why have you and Ann decided not to marry?” she asked remembering what he had said earlier.

  “When I went back to Carolina, one of the first things I did was to end my relationship with Anise, my mistress.” He caught the brief look of surprise and satisfaction on her face before she schooled it once again. “Then I found myself reluctant to be with Ann and the more I was with her the less I felt that I could go through with our marriage. In the end my brother-in-law made me see that I had to talk to her and tell her the truth.”

  “The truth?”

  “That I had fallen in love with the daughter of a plantation owner; the very thing she had warned me about.”

  Deborah froze with the cup half-way to her mouth. She shakily replaced it in the saucer and her eyes met Richard’s.

  “You mean me?”

  Richard smiled indulgently and said, “No I mean Mary-Ann Newton,” referring to one of the planter’s daughters he had met at his party. “Of course I mean you.”

  He suddenly became serious and said, “I didn’t expect to fall in love with you, Deborah. I thought that once I took you to my bed I would be able to get over my desire for you and go back to Carolina and marry Ann and run her father’s plantation, but I was wrong. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I still can’t. I want to marry you.”

  Deborah was stunned. Richard loved her? He had given up marrying Ann and running her father’s plantation to be with her? He wanted to marry her? Joy surged in her again before she realized that it would not be fair to marry him.

  “I’m sorry Richard but I can’t marry you. I’ve heard that marriage between races is illegal in America so if we married we would never be able to go to Carolina and see your family.”

  “I don’t need to go to Carolina, Deborah. Or I can go by myself if I need to and come back. All I need is you.”

  “What about here? I don’t want you not to be accepted because of me.”

  “As I told my uncle, we’ll take one step at a time. All I know is that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  “You talked to Master Thomas about this?” she asked surprised.

  “Yes. And we have his blessing. I don’t know how Aunt Elizabeth will take it though, but right now I don’t care. We only need to please ourselves and God.”

  Deborah thought about that for a few minutes. She had never imagined that she would find someone who loved her and was willing to give up everything for her. God had truly blessed her so she would trust him to work it out.

  “Yes, you’re right Richard. I will marry you.”

  He pushed over his chair in his haste to get up and pull her into his arms, hugging her to him and burying his face in her hair. The crash of the chair hitting the ground brought Sarah out of her room to find Richard passionately kissing Deborah.

  “Deborah, what you doing girl?” she asked for the second time that day.

  They reluctantly pulled apart and Richard answered for both of them saying, “Celebrating our upcoming wedding.”

  They had to laugh at the shock on Sarah’s face before tears of joy flooded her eyes that her daughter had finally found someone who loved and valued her.

  Chapter 31

  November 30, 1696

  William could not contain the smile that broke out across his face as his beloved Barbados came into sight and the boat headed for Carlisle Bay. He was finally home, after two long torturous years. He had missed the island more than he had expected to and he had missed his mother and the girls, although he rarely spent much time with them. He wondered how his partner in crime, Henry, was and if he was still as wild as ever.

  No one was there to meet him but he wasn’t surprised since the boat was actually a bit earlier than scheduled as a brisk wind had added several knots to their speed and hustled them towards Barbados. He decided to spend a couple of nights in Town before going home. It had been a long time since he had experienced its pleasures and he didn’t plan to deny himself a moment longer, just in case his father got it in his head to put him to work right away and made sure that he did not leave the plantation for a while.

  As the boat dropped anchor and waited for the cockboats to come to take the passengers and cargo to shore, he went below deck to arrange for his trunks to be brought up. He would stay at his favorite boarding house and reacquaint himself with all of its delights before heading home. Anticipation hastened his feet as he remembered the beautiful mulatto girls that kept the patrons well entertained for a few coins.

  That reminded him that Deborah and her mother now lived in Town. He would ask the proprietress if she knew of them since she seemed to know everything that went on in town. He would definitely have to visit them and pay his respects. And he had some unfinished business with Deborah.

  William sat in the White Hare tavern a few doors up the street and across the road from Deborah’s shop. The Madame at the boarding house had been very helpful in providing the information he needed. After all, two colored women running a shop in Town was not a common occurrence so he had had no trouble finding them. From his seat in a darkened corner of the tavern near the door he could see their customers coming and go
ing. From the looks of things, the business seemed to be doing well. It certainly was well patronized. He should pay them a visit and offer his congratulations.

  Tossing back the last bit of rum in his glass, he left a few coins on the table, pushed back his chair and headed down the road.

  He stepped into the shop and let his eyes adjust to the dimness after being in the sunlight. Deborah was standing behind a counter serving a well dressed lady whose slave girl stood by carrying her purchases. His eyes ran hungrily over her and images of her in his bed stirred him. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Gone were the drab slave clothes and the handkerchief. Her hair was in a simple plait over her shoulder but she wore a beautiful flowered dress that flattered her figure.

  Glancing around the shop he saw a stand with clothes hanging on it but he didn’t see her mother and he was glad that he would be able to talk to Deborah without her interfering presence. The lady at the counter finished her purchase and headed for the door. William nodded politely to her and moved further into the shop, watching Deborah’s face as he drew closer and was gratified to see the politely welcoming smile on her face change to one of shock as she recognized him.

  “William!” Her hand flew to her chest as if she was trying to hold her heart in place. Her face paled and she looked in panic towards the door as if she was gauging how easily she could escape if she needed to.

  Deborah’s heart began to beat a furious tattoo in her chest. She had known that William was coming back soon but she had not been prepared for the shock of seeing him. His face was somewhat thinner than before but he was still very good looking in spite of the coldness of his green eyes that revealed his cruel nature. What was he doing here? How did he find their shop and what did he want with her?