by E. M. Moore
“I told you this would be a waste of time, Pam,” Reid says. He rises from the chair, his face pinched and angry. I’m sure he would’ve rather been at football practice, but I’m not the one who invited him here.
Mom glares at me as if I’ve done something wrong. I watch as Cade and Reid leave. They don’t bother to say goodbye to me, and I wouldn’t have bothered answering if they had. Lex and Jules are still on the couch, my father on the armrest, but all I really want to do is tell Ezra what a fucking mess today was.
Mom returns after the front door opens and closes. She waves her hand in the air. “I guess you guys can leave too. I appreciate you trying everything you can.”
Jules stands. She gives me an apologetic look, then comes over to throw her arms around me. “Don’t hate me.”
I squeeze her back. “Never. Just please don’t do that again.”
She doesn’t answer either way and soon my mother is walking her toward the door.
Lexington Jones rises next. He dwarfs my father who gets to his feet now too. But instead of leaving, Lex says, “Can I have that private conversation with Briar now?”
My stomach drops, and I look to my father for his answer, hoping he’ll say no.
“Sure,” he says. He waves his hand toward me as an invitation. He’s totally exasperated, but it’s about a tenth of the feelings I feel in relation to myself, so I don’t even have the heart to feel sorry for him. He goes out through the kitchen to the garage. It’s his sanctuary away from us. Well, me. He and Brady used to watch football games out there on the TV hanging on the wall.
I turn to head toward my room, grabbing my bookbag from the dining room table first. “Where are you going?” Lex asks.
“To my room. If you want to talk to me, I guess you’ll have to follow me there.”
“Briar, come on,” Lex complains, but he follows me to my room anyway.
When we get there, I close the door behind us and dump my bookbag by the foot of the bed. “You knew about this last night, huh?”
When he doesn’t answer, I turn toward him. He’s leaning against my dresser. When he meets my eyes, he nods. “I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”
A smile plays over my lips. “I wonder what my parents would think if I said the only thing that makes me feel better is when Lex and I are together…alone?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t say that. You don’t even mean it.”
“I beg to differ. You know I mean it. How many times have you made me cry out your name now? In fact, I’m thinking you owe me big time for what just happened.” I stalk toward him, putting my hand on his chest and roam upward. I still for a moment when I feel his heart beating underneath chiseled muscles. His heart beats once, twice, then I move my hands around his pectorals. His skin is warm, even through his t-shirt.
“I’ve let everyone down, including you.”
“You haven’t let me down once, actually,” I tell him, my voice a little breathy. Lex is alive. He’s warm-blooded and breathing.
His hand closes around my wrist to stop my slow perusal of his massive chest. His brown eyes stare right through mine. It’s like he can see right through to my very core. A sliver of anxiety works its way up my spine at his next words. “I’ve let you down every day, and for that, I apologize.” He brings my hand up and kisses my knuckles before letting me go. “I’m not going to do it anymore.”
“Lex,” I say, emotion thickening my throat. “I don’t think you understand what you do for me.”
“I know you always leave the car crying, and that’s all I need to know.”
“I cry all the time now,” I tell him, dismissing his concern. I try to reach my hand up to touch his chest again. It feels so good to be this close to another human being.
He catches my hand before I make contact. “Call me crazy, but I don’t want someone I do that with to leave upset.”
I swallow. “So, I’m not good enough?”
“No, you’re not good enough,” he says, his voice clearly pained. He places his hands on either side of my face, his thumb trailing across my bottom lip. “You’re even better than that. You just have to start seeing it again.”
I move forward. His lips are calling me. The heat of the moment, the desire his touch raises inside me. My lips don’t even brush his before he’s angling away from me.
“I’m not going to hurt you anymore. That’s the last thing I want.”
My hand sneaks down, and I cup his semi-hard cock. He moans at the contact, and so do I. “I know you want this.”
My words break him free of whatever spell he was under. He pushes my hand away and moves to the other side of the room. “I can’t do this anymore, Briar. I know you don’t see it yet, but I am hurting you. I won’t be showing up outside your house anymore. Okay?”
“Lex,” I say, amusement coloring my words, but then I can see how serious he is about this. He already has one hand on the doorknob. I nod. “This is what you wanted to say to me out in my intervention, huh? You wanted to tell me this is over and blame it on being for my own good, but shouldn’t I get a choice in this?”
“Not when you’re not thinking clearly.”
My jaw hardens at that remark. I cross my arms in front of my chest. “Fine. Get out. I’m sure I can find someone else who wouldn’t mind helping me.”
His eyes turn hard. “Briar.”
“No, it’s cool. I get it.”
“Briar,” he growls. “Sex isn’t helping you heal.”
“But it’s helping me forget!” I scream, losing myself in the fear of having to feel everything again.
His eyes widen, and I step back a few steps, shocked at the emotion that rocketed out of my body just now. I take in a few deep breaths to get myself back under control.
He starts to move forward, his hand outstretched, but I hold my hand up to stop him. “Just leave, Lex. I’m fine.” I smile, but it’s wobbly on my face. It’s obviously fake.
He looks like leaving is the last thing he wants to do, but there’s really nothing he can do for me.
“Bye, Lex,” I tell him. I turn my back and pull my bookbag onto the bed, acting as if I’m about to do homework.
He doesn’t know what to do at first. I can see him in the mirror over my dresser. He rubs the back of his neck, looks at me then the door. “I’m just a phone call away.”
“Yeah,” I say, keeping my head down and pulling out a notebook I have in there.
“Bye, Briar,” he says. With that, my bedroom door opens and closes.
When he’s gone, I turn and stare at the closed door. The first track of tears fall down my face. I’m sad when we do stuff, and I’m sad when we don’t.
I’m just a mess of haywired emotions.
6
I’m startled out of bed by the sound of my alarm. I blink, gasping for air like the sound of the incessant beep is choking the crap out of me.
What the fuck? I didn’t set my alarm.
“Good morning, Shortie,” a too bright voice says.
I cock my head to the right and see Cade Farmer sitting in my desk chair where I left my bookbag still half open from yesterday. “What are you doing here?” I snap, pulling my covers up to hide my exposed skin.
He laughs. “You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before, Briar. Get your ass up.”
I look at him like he’s crazy. “Did my parents let you in here?” That doesn’t sound like something they’d do. They especially wouldn’t do it if they knew his reputation.
He smiles, displaying his perfect set of white teeth. “Of course. They actually like me.”
I groan and flop back on the bed. Cade has always been an early riser. When they all used to spend the night here once upon a time, Cade would already be up by the time the rest of us got our asses out of bed.
“I thought it might go like this,” he tsks.
Suddenly, I hear the trickling of water and a pitter patter as liquid hits my sheet. Soon afterward, I feel a splash on my arm.
“Cade!” I throw the sheet off me, but Cade just ends up throwing an entire cup of water in my face. I blink. Droplets of water settling on my lashes. “What the fuck?”
He smiles like he’s won Student Athlete of the Year. “I figured you’d be more likely to take a shower if you were already wet.”
“Goddamnit,” I growl as I look at the mess he’s made.
“Come on,” he says, whipping the sheet all the way down the bed. The front of my tank top is soaked, clinging to my breasts. “Well, hey there, Briar.” His eyebrows raise suggestively. “Nice to see you this morning.”
When I look down, I notice my nipples are standing at attention. “You’re such a pig.”
He just laughs. His reputation around school is well known. He’s never had a steady girlfriend because he likes to sample a lot of different girls, and I mean a lot. “Get your ass in the shower. I’m picking your clothes out today. And don’t think about running to your parents. They okayed this, and it won’t work anyway because they’ve left for work already. It’s just you and me, baby.”
Cowards. They probably didn’t want to hear my wrath when all this started. “I really fucking hate you,” I grumble as I get out of bed.
“Not the first time I’ve heard that and certainly won’t be the last.”
When I stand, I’m in a wet tank top and underwear. The same outfit I greeted Lex in the other night. A string tugs on my heart again at the conversation we had last night. I certainly fucked that one up. For a while, it felt like the only person I could talk to was Lex, but then things escalated, and all I wanted was him. His body, I mean. His skilled fingers. His freaking tongue.
Jesus. I’m giving myself hot flashes this morning. I need to reroute my thoughts pronto.
A piece of clothing gets thrown in my face. When I pull it away, I notice it’s my mom’s robe. “Put this on when you come out. Your mom made it mandatory. I mean, I wouldn’t care if you walked around naked, but…”
I groan in frustration, grasping the robe in my hands as I stalk off toward the bathroom, grumbling to myself the entire way. The nerve of him. I slam the door behind me and stare at myself in the bathroom mirror, leaning over the sink. Part of my now dark hair is matted to my head from where he dumped water on me. My heart still hasn’t calmed down for the intrusion of my alarm clock either.
A loud knock comes on the door. “I don’t hear that water running.”
“Are you going to barge in and make sure I’m actually under the water too?”
“If need be, but I’ll need special permission from Mama Page.”
I throw the bathrobe across the sink and start to strip. I turn the shower on before peeing because I haven’t heard Cade’s footsteps walk back toward my room, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he is still on the other side of the door, listening to everything going on in here. I hate-wash my hair, muttering the entire time about a gross misuse of my personal space, but by the time I use my special body wash, I’m calmed down a bit. The heat from the shower helps soothe my tense muscles. I even take the time to shave my legs and underarms before relaxing in the spray a while.
When I’m done, I turn the water off and go through my usual routine. Well, the routine I used to have. After towel-drying my pitch black hair that’s started to fade a little already, I throw the robe on and stalk back to my room. Cade isn’t outside the bathroom still, but he is sitting in my desk chair texting. “Who’s that?” I ask. “One night stand?”
“Nope,” he says, smiling. “Lucky Number Seven.”
I roll my eyes. They call Reid that sometimes because he’s had the number seven on his jersey for forever and he seems to be the luckiest mother fucker on this earth at times. “And what’s good old Reid doing this morning?”
“Probably tapping Sasha’s ass.”
I groan at that, and my heart squeezes. “Hard to text and tap someone’s ass at the same time.”
“How’d you know about that, Shortie? I’m pretty sure I…Yep. Done it once or twice. May have been drunk out of my mind, but whatever.”
Cade certainly uses his football prestige to bag girls. It’s kind of ridiculous how they all come out of the woodwork for him. I glance over at my bed and see an outfit laid out for me. It’s a cute little sundress that my mom bought me for school in the beginning of last year. I used to pair it with these cute little booties. “I’m not wearing that, Cade.”
“I know it doesn’t go with your hair,” he snipes. “But yes, you’re wearing that today. Also, I’m calling my cousin about how to get that black shit out of your hair too. Now, hurry up. I can’t be late for school. Game night, you know.” The thing about Cade is, he gleams when he talks about football. He loves the sport. Sure, he might be a flirtatious pig who’ll get sex whenever he can, but his one true love is for the game. He likes the teamwork and the rivalry. He thrives on competition.
“I don’t want to wear that today,” I tell him, staying steadfast in my resolve. I really don’t want to go through this with him.
“Listen, Shortie,” Cade says as he rises to his feet. “You only have one option. If I have to stand right here while you change, you’re putting on that dress.”
“You’re not watching me dress.”
“How’s this then? If you’re determined to put on your ugly ass sweats and shirt, I am watching you dress. Every last revolting second,” he says, sneering down at the black clothes at the foot of my bed. “If you don’t want that to happen, you’ll put that dress I laid out for you on.”
“Why do you care?” I ask. I mean it to come out snippy, but all my anger dies on my tongue. I actually really want to know.
He cocks his head to the side. “You keep asking that, and I feel like we keep answering you, but you’re somehow not getting it. Come on, Briar. Humor me. Put the dress on. I’ll get Peter Phillips to kiss you on the lips.”
I drop my head back and groan. I used to have a huge crush on Peter Phillips, another football player. “I don’t like Peter Phillips anymore.”
“Good because I’m pretty sure he likes chicks with dark brown hair, so you’ve already gone and fucked that shit up.”
“Just get out of here, Cade.”
He walks to my door, then turns back with his hand on the jamb. “Put the dress on, Briar. Don’t make me call in the cavalry to force it on you.”
He raises an eyebrow when I raise mine at him. For some reason, I think they’ll actually do that. If I walk out with the same outfit I’ve been wearing for the last few days, I’m sure Reid and Lex would both be knocking the door down within a few minutes. “I’m not promising anything.”
“Don’t mess with me on this, kid. I mean it.” With that, he exits my room and closes the door softly behind him.
I stare down at the dress he’s laid out for me. I loved this dress last year. It looked so cute on me. Then, I stare down at the clothes I wore yesterday. The truth is, I’m tired. I don’t have enough energy to fight with Cade this morning. I grab my silky nude bra from the dresser and the matching panties, pulling them on before I pull the dress over my head. I face my full-length mirror in the corner. The dress is a little shorter on me this year than it was the previous year. I must’ve grown some. Since my hair looks like a bird’s nest, I grab my hairbrush, which is stained from black dye, and pull it through my damp shoulder-length hair.
A knock sounds on the door. “Do I have to call reinforcements?”
“No, jackass. I’m dressed.”
The door opens slowly. He looks around the edge and then smiles when he sees me standing there. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. He just stands to his full height, his stare perusing me from my head down to my polish-chipped toenails. After a moment, he nods once. “Alright, let’s get some breakfast.”
I see the cute boots I wore with this outfit last year peeking out of the closet, but if he’s not going to make me wear them, I’m just going to put on a pair of flip flops. At least I’ll have a little semblance of control over my outfit to
day. I follow him into the hallway while simultaneously fluffing my hair, trying to get it to dry quicker. “I don’t eat breakfast.”
“Since when?”
“Since…” I say, trailing off. “Just since I stopped eating it.”
“We can’t skip breakfast, Shortie. It’s the most important meal of the day.” He checks his watch and frowns. “We don’t have a lot of time. How about a bagel?”
He doesn’t wait for my answer. He just goes right to the bread box where we store the bagels and then to the toaster. He knows exactly where everything in this house is. The three of them have been here so many times before they probably know it as well as me. Seeing him move around the kitchen brings a pain to my chest. So much so that when he puts the bagel down in front of me, I start eating it without thinking. I’m numb now, going through the motions, just wanting this day that hasn’t even really started yet to end.
Cade disappears down the hall for a minute before walking back in with my bookbag. He holds it up just as I stuff the last piece of bagel down my throat. “Kind of light, don’t you think?”
I shrug. “I forgot some books in my locker.”
“Correction. You forgot all of your books in your locker.”
He hands it over to me, and then puts his hand on my shoulder. “Come on, Briar. You’re too smart for this.” I’m silently seething when he says, “I can’t get over how different you look.” He looks into my eyes, and for a moment, he isn’t Cade Farmer, my brother’s best friend, he’s Cade Farmer, the Spring Hill High playboy.
Perhaps I could convince Cade to take Lex’s place… I don’t know why I didn’t think of him in the first place. He has no problem sticking his cock into people for fun.
I smile up at him, and Cade’s dark brown eyes seem to sparkle as we look at one another.