Impulse

by Vanessa Garden

  On my old fairytale four-poster bed sat Lauren, cross-legged and as casual as could be, as if sitting on a four-poster bed studded with pearls and draped in silk in a castle in a domed underwater city was just a part of everyday life.

  Marko stood beside the bed, staring back at me with wide eyes, and looking like he wanted to disappear down the air chute in the far corner of the room.

  Even though a thousand questions were brewing up inside me I couldn’t speak. I just kept staring at them, my eyes travelling back and forth between them.

  ‘Miranda, I didn’t want—’

  ‘How long have you been here?’ I finally managed, cutting her off. I turned to Marko. ‘And how long have you known?’ And then I realised. ‘You brought her with us? The same night? And you didn’t think to tell me?’ My chest was heaving and I could feel the hot sting of angry tears prickling at the backs of my eyes. My gaze rested on Lauren. ‘You didn’t want to come and see me? After all this time?’

  She slid off the bed and sauntered her way towards me, a sheepish smile on her face. ‘Thanks a lot, Randy. I was kind of expecting a huge hug or…’ She moved to take me in her arms, but I stiffened and stepped back.

  ‘So you two have been having little meetings in here, laughing your heads off at my expense, while I’ve been wandering the castle, and stuck in my room—alone, thinking I had no-one?’

  Lauren snuck a glance at Marko, who was rubbing the back of his neck and looking increasingly uncomfortable. He nodded and she turned back to me. They were communicating with each other silently, in their own private language, as if they knew each other well. My stomach turned. Now I knew who Marko’s ‘riotous’ new friend was.

  Oh God. I wanted to throw up. The last flower petal of my emotions had been plucked and it was being ground beneath a shoe, so to speak.

  ‘What about Nana and Pop? You said you were going to look after them!’

  ‘Miranda, control yourself.’ Marko moved towards me but I shot him a death stare, halting his steps, and turned back to my sister.

  ‘You left them? It wasn’t enough for them to lose one grandchild?’ My hands flew up to my head again, this time gripping my hair. ‘How could you do this? After all that crap about me being a martyr and allowing you to step up to the plate.’

  Lauren threw her hands to her head and laced her fingers through her own hair.

  ‘You can talk, Miranda! Why is it okay for you to come here but not for me?’ Tears started to trickle down her flushed cheeks. ‘I wanted the escape as much as you did. When you said that it was so much easier to forget everything down here, I thought, I want that too.’ She was sobbing now.

  Marko took a step between us and faced me, his eyes soft with sympathy.

  ‘I know this must be a shock, but surely you are happy to see your sister, Miranda?’

  Of course I was happy to see her. How could he even ask me that?

  ‘But how could you bring her here without telling me? She’s only the most important person in my life.’

  Lauren threw herself onto the bed and stuck a pillow over her head.

  Marko gripped both of my arms and drew me into a darkened corner, his blue eyes almost black. ‘Last year, you missed your sister so much she was all you could talk about. I thought you’d be happy to see her and that it would help make you want to stay here…with me.’ He paused, his eyes boring into mine for a long moment before he shook his head and released me.

  As Lauren’s sobbing form shook, a sharp twinge of shame jabbed at my heart. I couldn’t blame her for wanting to escape her crappy life, for wanting to come down here like I had done.

  ‘I’m just in…shock. I’m sorry.’

  Marko stared at the floor, his long lashes veiling his eyes.

  ‘I still think you should have told me,’ I said, as I nudged past him to get to Lauren.

  Lauren wiped her red face against the pillow and sat up.

  ‘Don’t be angry with Marko. He stayed quiet because I wanted to surprise you.’ She sniffed and wiped at her nose. ‘Marko wanted to tell you right away, but I stopped him. I wanted to come to Sylvia’s birthday and surprise you. It’s a masquerade ball, so I was going to rip off my mask and say, “Surprise!”’ She smiled through her tears.

  I took a few deep, steady breaths and shook my head. A potent mix of emotions seemed to be having a fistfight inside my head.

  But in the end, happiness won.

  ‘Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re here!’ I said, before wrapping my arms around her. ‘Of course I’m happy to see you, you dork.’

  ‘I told Pop we were going away on a road trip for a few weeks, and that it was a surprise present from me for your birthday.’

  It was a pretty clever cover story.

  ‘So we have a few weeks before they start to miss us,’ I said, drawing away from my sister and staring down at my hands.

  ‘Yeah. I’m trying not to think about it,’ Lauren said.

  I pressed the palms of my hands against my eyes. My head was pounding like there were bombs being detonated inside my brain.

  ‘So what now?’ Lauren asked, her red eyes suddenly sparkling with mischief as though she wanted me to take her out partying. She had always been good at switching between emotions. Whereas right now I felt like my head and heart had just gone through a meat grinder, mashing my emotions into tiny little unrecognisable pieces.

  ‘I’m a little bit tired and stuff, so I might head to my room for a bit. I just need a bit of time to absorb all of this, Loz,’ I said, before turning for the door. ‘I suppose we’ll talk later,’ I said to her, but Marko answered.

  ‘That can wait. Be certain to get some rest, first, Miranda. It’s been an emotionally trying day for you.’ He was talking to me as if I was a resident in a nursing home who’d gotten sidetracked and wandered away from the bingo room.

  The door was too heavy to slam, but I stomped away as loudly as I could, hoping to both demonstrate how pissed off I was and to also detonate all of the anger that had built up inside of me.

  By the time I was back in my new room, and had thrown myself on the bed, all that anger had turned into guilt. I shouldn’t have been so harsh with Lauren. After all, she’d come to be with me, and to escape her life, too, just like I had. I was the selfish one to have come down here in the first place, not Lauren.

  I pulled a pillow across my face and held it down tight. My heart throbbed so loudly I could visualise the blood surging through my veins, whipping around my body.

  As much as I loved Lauren and wanted the company, her coming to Marin just didn’t feel right. There was something dark and underhand going on here—an ugly energy. Anne and her sickly appearance was demonstration enough, along with Sylvia’s passive-aggressiveness. Robbie had voiced his suspicions too. The last person in the world who I wanted to be caught up in all of this was Lauren.

  The sound of glass clinking, and then shattering, made me sit up with a start. It came from Marko’s room.

  When I entered, after knocking on our adjoining door, I found him alone and crawling on the ground, collecting pieces of splintered glass. Shards had travelled as far as our adjoining door. A particularly long, thin piece cut into my finger when I picked it up, drawing dark-red blood.

  ‘Don’t touch it. I’ll do it.’

  My hand shook as I passed the offending shard to his outstretched hand. He tossed the glass into a small, metal wastebasket before snatching a white napkin from the table and pressing it against my finger.

  He met my eyes, his gaze dark and deep and soft, sending a swift blow to my lower belly. I recalled what he’d said about bringing Lauren here in the hopes that I’d want to stay here with him. So he wanted me after all. After the ridiculous rollercoaster ride my emotions had been on the past few days, Marko wanted me like I wanted him.

  I wiggled my fingers but he kept his tightly around them like a vice.

  ‘The wound needs pressure. Hold still.’

  Hurt. That was what shine
d in his eyes. I’d hurt him with my angry outburst in Lauren’s room. My heart twisted and I closed my eyes for a moment, willing the right words to come.

  ‘I’m not angry with you anymore, Marko. I’m angry with Lauren, and myself, for leaving behind our grandparents.’ Tears filmed my eyes, but I blinked them away.

  Marko sighed softly and wrapped his other hand around my waist, drawing me up against him, making my pulse quicken.

  ‘If I could bring your grandparents down here, to live in Marin, I would. Light crystal is healing, it might help your grandmother with her memory, but the journey may be too much for them at their age. Then there is the matter of your land laws. We can’t keep whisking people away from their homes.’

  Hope fluttered in my heart. ‘Does light crystal work above ground? We could take some to them to help my nan.’

  Marko shook his head and gazed down at me with sad eyes. ‘No, it doesn’t, Miranda. I’m sorry.’

  I sighed, wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest. Through his shirt I could hear the sharp intake of his breath, and the wild throb of his heart.

  ‘I visited Robbie today,’ I suddenly blurted out, maintaining the current honesty between us.

  ‘I know. You’ve been to see him twice.’ Marko’s voice came out strangled and rough.

  ‘Do the guards report back every single thing I do?’ I asked, raising my head.

  Marko gently guided my head back down to his chest, stroking my hair in the process. My head felt light and tingly where he touched.

  ‘I ask that they keep a respectful distance at all times. I don’t want to eavesdrop on your private conversations. I just need to know that you’re safe.’

  I scrunched my eyes shut, forcing all thoughts of Sylvia and corruption out of my head for the moment. All that mattered right now was the fact that the wall between me and Marko had crumbled and we were holding each other.

  After a long silence, Marko cleared his throat.

  ‘So, are you still mine…for the masquerade ball?’ he asked.

  I raised my head and he was gazing down at me through dark lashes, in a way that made my stomach flip, his eyes darting to my lips every so often.

  I nodded.

  A low groan of approval rumbled at the base of his throat and he bent his head, as though to kiss me.

  I rose up on the tips of my toes, my heart knocking against my chest with anticipation.

  It was finally happening.

  But just as I felt Marko’s warm breath against my lips, somebody knocked at the door.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  ‘WHO IS IT?’ Marko called, his eyes never leaving mine.

  ‘It’s only me. Lauren.’

  Though I was annoyed that our moment had been ruined, the vulnerability in Lauren’s voice resurrected some of the guilt I’d felt earlier.

  ‘Can she come in?’ I asked Marko, who was frowning at the door.

  He removed my arms from around his waist and sighed, before giving me a shy, almost goofy, smile. ‘Of course she can. Come in, Lauren.’

  The red-headed guard, Jonathan, held the door open for Lauren, and my sister thanked him with a smile. The guard beamed a smile back. It wouldn’t take Lauren long at all to make friends around here.

  ‘Hi, guys.’ Lauren rushed towards us, but then stopped in the middle of the room. ‘Okay, did I interrupt something?’

  ‘Not at all,’ said Marko. I raised my brow, to which he laughed.

  I looked at Lauren, who was grinning at me, and suddenly it hit me: my sister was here. I wasn’t alone anymore.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ I said, squeezing her to me. ‘Seriously!’

  ‘Yeah, I know!’ She squeezed me back.

  ‘So, what do you think of Marin?’ I asked.

  Lauren shrugged. ‘I haven’t seen outside of the castle yet, so I’m not sure. But I’ve met some amazing people and they’ve all been so welcoming.’

  ‘Like who?’ I couldn’t help asking. But Lauren didn’t get to answer my question, because Marko had passed us each a goblet of red wine and was raising his own.

  ‘To the Sun sisters, may they bring much light and warmth to the city of Marin.’ He frowned and shook his head, his cheeks tinting pink. ‘Apologies, that was a bit—’

  ‘Corny,’ Lauren and I said at the same time, giggling. Lauren smacked Marko on the arm and added, ‘And not just a bit, either.’

  Marko, blushing deeper still, tipped his head back and skolled his wine. Gosh. Lauren, with her flirty ways, had the power to bring any man down, even a king. I took a small sip of the wine and watched her, over the rim of my goblet, make Marko laugh, trying the whole time to ignore the prickling at the back of my neck.

  Lauren was here to stay, and she was going to capture hearts, because that’s just how things rolled with Lauren.

  But was I selfish for hoping that she wouldn’t look at Marko—or Robbie? It’s not like I owned them or anything. I just didn’t want her to play with them like she did with most guys at home.

  ‘What are you thinking about? You nearly went cross-eyed,’ said Lauren, grinning. Marko watched me with curiosity. My cheeks burned in a way that wasn’t subtle or flattering, like Lauren’s rosy glow.

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Miranda always blushes like that when she’s thinking about a boy she has the hots for,’ Lauren teased.

  ‘No I don’t,’ I said, glaring at her hard.

  ‘And her voice changes—it gets higher and a little nasal.’ She set her wine down on the dining table and pointed at me. ‘It’s like that right now.’

  ‘It is not.’

  Marko’s brows went up and his perfect mouth curved up into a cocky grin. Then he folded his arms across his chest, as though waiting for me to confess my love then and there.

  So I changed the subject.

  ‘What do you want to see first?’ I asked Lauren. ‘I can take you out tomorrow.’

  She thought for a moment before grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze. ‘Can you take me to see Robbie?’ she gushed.

  My eyes shot to Marko, who was studying me very closely, before he took another sip of wine and casually looked away.

  I shrugged. ‘Yeah. First thing in the morning we’ll see Robbie.’ It was then I realised I hadn’t yet had a word with Marko about how skinny and sick Anne looked. I set my unfinished wine on the table. ‘I think we should all get some sleep; especially you, Lauren, since I’ll be dragging you around the city tomorrow.’

  Lauren set her wine down and made a face. ‘No way; it’s my first night here. Well, not really, but the first night we’ve seen each other,’ said Lauren, like a whiny child. ‘How can you possibly sleep, Randy?’ She glanced at Marko. ‘Surely you’re not going to bail on me, too?’

  Marko met my gaze and shrugged one shoulder, as if to say, ‘What can I do?’

  Lauren began exploring the room, even daring to run her fingers, slowly, along the keys of Marko’s piano. It kind of irked me to see her touch his things so…sensuously.

  It’s a piano; get a grip. I was behaving like a territorial baboon.

  ‘Well, goodnight, then. Don’t party too hard,’ I said again, as I walked through the adjoining door, glancing over my shoulder at Marko and hoping to signal, with my eyes, that our private moment was not yet finished. But he was staring at his piano, pensively, as if he too hated the idea of it being touched by my sister.

  ‘Goodnight, Miranda,’ he said with a weary sigh, still not looking my way.

  As I threw myself on my bed, Lauren broke out in a peal of laughter, and I stuffed my head under my pillow. The strain of trying to block out the sounds of my sister flirting with the guy I was falling in love with must have exhausted me, because I fell asleep.

  But my sleep was chaotic and filled not only with torturous images of Marko and Lauren kissing, but also of Robbie trying to find his way to me, stumbling through the streets, eyes wide and frightened as he called my name. But
worst of all was Sylvia, looking at me through the glass walls of the Colosseum tank, her lush red lips in a sneer, as a shark thrashed its way towards me, razor teeth bared and ready to sink into my flesh.

  I woke up with a start, sweat beading down my forehead. The new bedside clock Jilly had left me told me it was just after midnight, the witching hour. After the frightening dream and waking in the cool, dim room, and feeling the full weight of the Pacific Ocean above me, I wanted my sister.

  I slipped out of my room in my nightgown. Jonathan blinked at me with sleepy eyes from his post. The castle air at night was cooler, so I walked briskly down the corridors to Lauren’s room. I tapped on the door twice and, after she didn’t answer, opened the door.

  A cold chill washed over me when I found her bed, and the room, empty. Where on earth could my sister be at this time of night?

  I needed to tell Marko. We had to find her. Or…perhaps she was still in Marko’s room?

  After racing back to my room, and pacing in front of the adjoining door for about five minutes, I finally mustered up the courage to open it.

  Marko was alone, sprawled out on his side, a pillow clutched to his bare chest. But where was Lauren? Her not being here actually made me feel worse than if I had found her here. The fact that she was somewhere, in this castle, without Marko or me watching over her, sent cold fear trickling down my spine. I had to find her.

  As I backtracked through the door, deciding not to wake Marko, he stirred and whispered my name.

  ‘Sorry,’ I whispered. ‘I’m looking for Lauren.’

  He scratched his head and sighed. ‘She left not long after you did. She was curious about the city and, since you had fallen asleep, asked if one of my guards could take her on a tour.’

  ‘A guard you’d trust with your life?’

  ‘Yes. His name is Jordon.’

  I sighed, glad my sister was with somebody I knew and felt I could trust.

  ‘Come here.’ Marko sat up and drew the bedcovers around his waist and patted the place beside him on the bed. ‘I can’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about you.’