Lizzie's Secret

by Rosie Clarke

  ‘My accident,’ Lizzie said. ‘I’ve never known exactly what happened. Did I fall and hurt myself… or was I attacked…?’

  Uncle Jack’s face was very pale. ‘What makes you ask, Lizzie? You haven’t remembered that night?’

  ‘No – but sometimes I’ve wondered…’

  ‘The doctor told us that it was best if we didn’t tell you, Lizzie. He says that if you want to remember it will come back in time, and if your mind doesn’t want to let it in it won’t. I think he knew what he was doing, love. Until he started to treat you, you didn’t know us. I thought you were lost to us forever…’

  ‘Please, do not distress yourself, uncle. I just wish I could repay you for all you’ve done for me.’

  ‘You do that every day with your smile and your caring,’ he said and shook his head. ‘No more questions, Lizzie. You’d best get the supper on before your aunt goes on the rampage.’

  Chapter 10

  Lizzie noticed Tilly’s red eyes when she took the trays round with everyone’s tea. She served all the others and then took her mug back to the girl’s bench, perching on one corner.

  ‘What’s wrong, Tilly? You’ve been crying…’

  Tilly swallowed hard. ‘My husband had an accident at work yesterday. They took him to hospital and I was allowed to visit for ten minutes last night… but he was asleep and didn’t know I was there…’

  ‘I’m so sorry. What happened?’

  ‘He slipped as he was moving some heavy crates and one fell on him. He could have been killed…’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Lizzie said. ‘If there’s anything I can do to help just tell me.’

  Tilly hesitated, then, ‘There is, if you mean it?’

  ‘Yes, of course. What can I do?’

  ‘I can only visit for a few minutes at night, because Mum looks after my little one all day and she won’t stay longer than half past seven. On Saturday I could have an hour visit with him, but Mum’s going to a friend’s wedding. I can’t ask her to take care of Sally…’

  ‘What time is visiting Saturday afternoon?’

  ‘From three thirty to four thirty…’

  ‘I could have your little girl,’ Lizzie said. ‘I go to Ed’s house and do a few jobs, but I could take the child with me. I think Madge would love to see her, and if you’re home by five I can meet my friends as arranged for the evening.’

  ‘Oh, Lizzie, you are a darlin’,’ Tilly said and hugged her. ‘You’d best clear it with Ed and his wife first…’

  ‘I’m going there tonight,’ Lizzie said. ‘I’ll ask Madge, but I’m sure she would love it.’

  Ed was a little uncertain when Lizzie mentioned the idea later but he said he had no objection if his wife agreed. They worked in harmony until midday and then, just as Lizzie was going to lunch, Mr Oliver came up to them.

  ‘Sebastian took both the hats you made as well as his usual order,’ he said. ‘ and he’s ordered three of the pleated variety, one in black, pale blue, and emerald green, and he wants six of the cheaper one in whatever colours you think will look stylish…’

  ‘He must have liked them,’ Lizzie said, feeling a little shocked. ‘When does he need them by?’

  ‘Like everyone else, he wants them yesterday,’ Mr Oliver grunted. ‘I told him Saturday morning – but I still want the other orders on time, so you’ll have to work in your break if necessary, Lizzie.’

  ‘I don’t mind, but what do I get out of it?’ she asked, holding her breath as he glared at her. ‘Well, they were my designs and if I have to work extra hours.’ Lizzie held her breath but after all they were her designs and she didn’t see why she shouldn’t get something out of it.

  ‘I’ll give you five bob if you get them done on time, and Ed still gets his orders out,’ her employer told her. ‘It’s up to you how you work it between you…’

  ‘That told him, Lizzie girl,’ Ed whispered. ‘Good for you, standing up for yourself. You should be paid for new designs. He would have to pay anyone else – and designers charge the earth for their services; that’s why we stick to the same styles. Bert Oliver won’t waste money if he can help it… but you took a risk, lass. You got away with it this time, but you might not be so lucky next.’

  *

  ‘Of course you can bring Tilly’s little girl on Saturday,’ Madge said when Lizzie asked her. ‘It will be a treat for me. She can sit on my lap while you’re busy and perhaps she’ll just go to sleep.’

  ‘Well, we’ll have the pram so she can go in that if she’s trouble,’ Lizzie said. ‘As long as it isn’t too much for you?’

  ‘I’m feeling a bit better in myself again,’ Madge said. ‘I’ve told Ed that he needn’t come home midday if he’s busy at work because I can make a cup of tea and a sandwich now. I feel a bit awkward about letting you do so much, but I don’t want to stop you coming, even if we only have a chat…’

  ‘You’re not fit to polish or scrub floors,’ Lizzie said. ‘All Ed wants is to see you well again – and I like coming…’

  ‘Well, I’ve got something for you, a surprise,’ Madge said. ‘I couldn’t give you money and I know you wouldn’t take it if we tried – but I do have something you might like.’

  ‘You don’t have to give me anything,’ Lizzie said. ‘Honestly, I just want to help Ed and see you…’

  ‘Well, this isn’t any good to me now, but it might be of use to you.’ Milly pointed to something hung over the back of a chair. ‘Bring it here, Lizzie, and hold it up against you.’

  Lizzie picked up what she immediately saw was a pale blue dress. It had short fitted sleeves, a shaped neckline, narrow waist and a gored skirt. The material was silky but not real silk, of course, and the buttons at the front were pearly and very pretty.

  ‘It’s much too long,’ Madge said, ‘but you could shorten it, Lizzie, and I think it looks as if it will fit?’

  ‘It’s my size,’ Lizzie said, ‘and I can easily make any adjustments – but this is such a lovely dress, Madge. It’s the one you told me about – for your first dance… you can’t want to give it away?’

  ‘I’d love you to have it,’ Madge said. ‘I think it will suit you and I shall never wear it again. Please take it with my love. It isn’t payment, it’s a gift from me to you…’

  ‘It’s lovely and I can’t wait to wear it,’ she said and kissed Madge’s cheek. ‘Now, I’m going to finish that ironing before I leave and your meal will be ready in five minutes…’

  *

  Aunt Jane looked at the dress as Beth placed it carefully on the old daybed in the kitchen, smoothing the skirts out reverently. It must have been expensive new.

  ‘Where did you get that? It isn’t new?’

  ‘It belonged to Madge. I shall have to cut the length, because it’s too long, but I don’t think it needs much else doing.’

  ‘Are you sure it’s clean? I don’t want fleas in my house.’

  ‘It is perfectly clean. Madge told me she had it cleaned before she put it away.’

  ‘Well, I dare say it smells of mothballs. I should steam it and hang it in the scullery until the smell goes, if I were you. If you really want charity…’

  ‘It smells of lavender,’ Lizzie said, hurt that her aunt should make stinging remarks about the gift. ‘I’ll cut the skirt to my length and hem it and then I’ll steam and iron it. I shall wear it this weekend.’

  ‘Going out with your friend again I suppose?’

  ‘First of all, I’m going to collect Tilly’s little girl so that she can visit her husband in hospital, and I’m going to take her to Madge’s house. Afterwards, I’ll get changed and go to Beth’s house…’

  ‘And what is Beth doing all afternoon?’

  ‘Her boyfriend is taking her up West for tea and he is going to buy her a present…’

  ‘And what happens this evening – do you play gooseberry or do you have another friend?’

  Lizzie took a deep breath, then, ‘Harry Oliver is coming too. We’re going as a fou
rsome.’

  A flash of annoyance showed in Aunt Jane’s eyes. ‘You are being very foolish. It can’t come to anything, Lizzie. No matter what your uncle says, about you being old enough to know your own mind, you will end up with a broken heart and you will have only yourself to blame.’

  ‘Why? Why shouldn’t I be happy? I’m not saying I shall marry Harry but I might if I like him enough and he asks…’

  ‘He wouldn’t if…’

  ‘Jane, no,’ her uncle intervened from the doorway. ‘I’ve told you before…’

  ‘I shall leave you to get the cocoa,’ Aunt Jane said looking angrily at her husband. ‘I have some work to finish.’

  Lizzie was puzzled. Why was her aunt so certain that no one would ever want to marry her? She’d thought it was because she was plain, but Harry said she was pretty… so why did her aunt say such things?

  Chapter 11

  ‘I’ve been looking forward to this all week,’ Harry said when they met outside Ed’s house. Lizzie handed him her little overnight bag and he put it in the back of his van. ‘Let’s go to the Italian cafe, Lizzie. We can have coffee and cream cakes – they’re delicious at Luigi’s.’

  ‘Shall we get back in time to see the first big film? We’ve got to meet the others at half past six.’

  ‘We’ll get there, though we might miss the cartoons,’ he said. ‘But the Pathé News and the big film won’t start before a quarter to seven. I’ll take you and Beth home in the van afterwards, Lizzie.’

  ‘Yes, all right,’ she said, taking his arm. ‘But we mustn’t be late.’

  They finally arrived at the cinema just ten minutes later than promised. Beth smiled and greeted them, but Lizzie could see that Tony wasn’t too pleased. So Lizzie felt a bit guilty as she queued with the others for the one and ninepenny seats. They had just got to the head of the queue when the manager announced that the seating had all gone and there was only standing room, unless you paid two shillings and sixpence for the circle.

  ‘Damn,’ Tony muttered, fishing in his pocket for the extra. ‘If we’d gone in earlier it would have saved us money.’

  ‘It’s my fault so I’ll pay,’ Harry said cheerfully and pulled a ten bob note out of his pocket.

  Harry paid for their tickets and then bought some sweets at the kiosk near the entrance to the darkened cinema. The usherette showed them to their seats just as the newsreel began, and they sat down to watch. The modulated voice of the Pathé News commentator told of Britain’s first military conscripts, and showed how they were settling in at their camps; the King and Queen had visited the World Fair in New York, and in Germany several hundred Jews had been deported to Poland. There were also pictures of the sinking of the Thetis submarine during trials in Liverpool Bay and pictures of post-boxes blown up by what were thought to be IRA bombs all around the country.

  Lizzie was glad when the news was over, because not much of it was good, and it seemed there was unrest everywhere. She relaxed when the big film started. It was the Bishop’s Wife, a romantic comedy, and starred Loretta Young, Cary Grant and David Niven. She’d wondered what kind of film they were going to see and relaxed as she heard her friends laughing at the poor Bishop’s tangled troubles.

  Harry gave her the box of Fry’s chocolates he’d bought and munched a nutty toffee beside her. She liked it that he didn’t try to put his hand on her knee or even around her shoulders. It would certainly have spoiled the evening for her if he had, but as it was she was able to enjoy the whole experience and thanked him warmly as, at the end of the evening, they all piled into the little van he used for delivering hats.

  The two girls were able to squeeze into the front seat with him, but Tony had to go in the back and she heard him muttering to Beth. Lizzie was afraid the evening had been spoiled for her friend and squeezed her hand, but Beth shook her head. She was annoyed with the way Tony was behaving.

  ‘I really enjoyed myself this evening,’ Lizzie told Harry. ‘Thank you so much for taking me to see that film. I loved David Niven…’

  ‘Yes, I’ve always like him. I talked to Tony last week and we thought you girls would rather see that than a dark thriller?’

  ‘Yes, very much so. I like the Odeon too; it’s much more luxurious than any other cinema in Bethnal Green.’

  ‘Most of the others are what my uncle calls fleapits, though the Regal isn’t too bad.’

  ‘I went there once with my uncle, but the seats were a bit hard. It’s not that bad, but the Odeon is much better.’

  ‘We’ll go up the West End one day,’ he said smiling at her, ‘but you really need the whole afternoon for that.’

  ‘Perhaps one day. I help Madge on Saturdays and then I have to spend some time with my aunt and uncle. I’ve promised to go to church with Aunt Jane tomorrow.’

  ‘You won’t come with me for a walk in the afternoon?’

  ‘I can’t, not yet,’ Lizzie said. ‘Perhaps, if you still want to, another week…’

  ‘What about a dance next week?’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ Lizzie said. ‘Unless Beth is going, I would have to go home afterwards and… my aunt might not like it if I’m out late…’

  ‘You’ve got to grow up and live your own life. You can’t let her dictate to you forever.’ Harry raised his brows as if to challenge her.

  ‘That’s what Beth says. I’ll see what she says.’ Then, to change the subject, ‘I’ve enjoyed making those new hats this week…’

  ‘My uncle has decided to sell more of the better hats,’ he said. ‘You’ve started something, Lizzie Larch. He says if you can produce hats like that from start to finish he can get rid of one of the girls who do the trimming. He says he doesn’t need three of them if you’re able to do the work yourself…’

  ‘Oh, I hadn’t thought of that…’ Lizzie felt sorry for the girl who would lose her job. ‘It won’t be Tilly will it? I wish I hadn’t said anything about finishing them myself now.’

  ‘You’ve probably done the girls a favour,’ Harry said. ‘They’re little better than slaves those girls. He’s getting you at half price and knows it.’

  ‘Tilly just looked up and smiled at me this morning – and she was told quite sharply to get on with her work.’

  ‘She’ll probably get the push one of these days,’ Harry shrugged carelessly. ‘Most of the girls don’t last more than eighteen months. They get fed up with the work and go elsewhere, but it isn’t easy, so a lot of them just get pregnant and mostly their blokes marry them.’

  ‘That’s cynical,’ Lizzie said with a frown. ‘Besides, Tilly’s married and she needs the work with her husband in hospital. Anyway, I couldn’t have done it all on my own.’

  ‘Perhaps I’m wrong, but Tilly takes longer to do her work than either Nancy or Meggie.’

  ‘Tilly takes more trouble over her hats.’

  ‘I’ve told my uncle that many times,’ he said and looked thoughtful. ‘He never listens to me. I’m just the delivery boy.’

  ‘You’re more than that, you know you are.’

  ‘I would have left long ago, but he was good to my mother after Father died. She died last year; they said it was her heart.’

  ‘I’m so sorry.’ Lizzie looked at him curiously as they drew up outside Beth’s house and the others got out. Tony hadn’t spoken a word the whole journey and looked sulky as Lizzie bid him goodnight. Beth looked fed up, as if she’d sensed Tony’s black mood. ‘Does your uncle know you intend to leave soon?’

  ‘No, but we’ll all have to go once the war starts, and I may as well get in early.’

  ‘The RAF not the Army?’

  ‘I like the uniform,’ he said and laughed. ‘I suppose I’m mad to risk upsetting him. Uncle Bert doesn’t have any children. He may leave the business to me.’

  ‘But if you don’t like working for him…’ She shook her head. ‘It’s not my business, of course.’

  ‘It might be one day,’ he said, making her look at him intently. ‘It’s too soon to talk
of the future, but I really like you, Lizzie…’

  Her cheeks were burning and she couldn’t meet his gaze as she said, ‘I like you too, Harry. I’d better go in. Beth and Tony are already at the door.’

  ‘They look as if they’re having a row. Besides, it’s not that late…’ He leaned forward to give her a chaste kiss on the cheek. ‘Goodnight, Lizzie. I shall look forward to seeing you again soon.’

  ‘Yes, perhaps we should go to the flicks on our own next time, but I’ll talk to Beth. I had a lovely time, Harry. Thank you so much for taking me.’

  ‘Thank you for coming, Lizzie. I want to go out as much as we can before I join up because I don’t want to waste a minute…’

  Lizzie smiled uncertainly and joined Beth at the front door. Tony had stalked off and she guessed he was in a temper; she hadn’t seen him kiss Beth goodnight and realised her friend looked unhappy.

  ‘Is Tony angry?’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry if it upset him because we were late.’

  ‘It’s not just that,’ Beth said and forced a smile. ‘He doesn’t want to go out in a foursome. Says we can meet up at the dance if you like, but he wants to be on his own with me when we walk home.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Beth. I know you did this for me, but you mustn’t fall out with him over me.’

  ‘Tony wants more than I can give,’ Beth said and looked as if she might burst into tears. ‘It’s not your fault, Lizzie – it’s us. Tony wants to get married and I can’t, and I won’t do what he wants… I’m not giving in and doing it until we’re married.’

  *

  Beth lay awake long after Lizzie had fallen asleep. She’d held the tears back with difficulty because she didn’t want Lizzie to feel guilty. Tony had complained because she and Harry were late, and he’d been in a bad mood all evening.

  ‘I look forward to the walk home,’ he’d said as they lingered outside her door. ‘I don’t see you often enough, Beth, and when we do – I want to kiss and touch you. We can’t do that with those friends of yours hanging around.’