Lizzie's Secret

by Rosie Clarke

  ‘Lizzie can’t get away from her aunt unless she comes with me…’

  ‘Tell her to grow up – and that goes for you, too, Beth. Unless you’re going to be a bit friendlier, I’m not going to bother coming round…’

  ‘What do you mean?’ she asked, feeling a pang of fear mixed with disbelief. ‘You know I can’t… suppose I fall for a baby? My father would kill me.’

  ‘No, he wouldn’t, he’d see sense and let us get married. It would be his fault anyway for making us wait.’

  ‘I won’t let my family down,’ Beth said and turned her shoulder on him. ‘You know how I feel.’

  ‘Well, you know how I feel now,’ Tony said and walked off. Beth had wanted to call him back but pride wouldn’t let her. If he couldn’t wait, he would have to suit himself – but there Beth’s determination started to crumble. She knew that Sylvia Butcher wouldn’t turn him down.

  Tears on her cheeks, she turned her face to the pillow. Sometimes, Beth almost hated him, because she didn’t want to shame her family and she didn’t want a baby just yet either, especially out of wedlock. It had taken a long time to learn the skills she had and she wanted to work a bit longer and save her money so that she could have a lovely white wedding – although at the moment she was sure there would be a wedding at all.

  Chapter 12

  Lizzie saw the look on her aunt’s face as she walked into the kitchen that Sunday morning. She’d had been crying and that was so rare that Lizzie’s heart caught with fright.

  ‘Uncle Jack…?’ she said, her throat tight with emotion. ‘Is he… worse?’

  ‘Oh yes, of course he told you he was ill, didn’t he?’ her aunt said bitterly. ‘Never mind him telling me, his wife… Now, he’s dying and I’m going to be left alone to cope with everything…’

  ‘Dying…?’ Lizzie’s heart pounded and her throat was tight with tears. ‘Where is he?’

  ‘Upstairs in our room. He was taken ill last night. Fortunately, I had a client with me and she went to phone for a doctor.’ Aunt Jane looked at her with something resembling loathing. ‘He asked for you over and over but I didn’t know how to reach you and then the doctor gave him something to make him drowsy’

  ‘May I go up and see him please?’

  ‘Please yourself. I’m not sure if he will know you…’

  Lizzie ran from the room, taking the stairs two at a time. Her aunt’s words had stung her, making her feel so guilty, because she ought to have been here when he needed her and she couldn’t bear it if it was too late.

  Opening the door of his room, Lizzie peeped in, her heart beating rapidly. She walked softly towards the bed, hardly daring to speak for fear of disturbing him. Yet as she approached, his eyes opened and lit with love, his hand moving on the bedclothes as if reaching for hers. She sat down next to him and took his hand in hers, running a finger over it as if to comfort him, or perhaps it was she that needed comfort, because he seemed at peace.

  ‘I waited for you,’ he said and the love in his eyes broke her heart. ‘I wanted you to know, Lizzie. Your aunt must have the house for her lifetime; it’s her right and I couldn’t do otherwise, but the shop and the goodwill is yours. I’ve arranged it with the lawyer, made a proper will…’

  ‘Please, don’t,’ Lizzie was crying silently. ‘I love you. Please don’t leave me, Uncle Jack…’

  ‘It’s my time, love. I want you to be independent and happy. You can sell the business and keep the property; that will bring you in a little rent. It’s all I can do for you, Lizzie. I ruined your life and I can never make it right… please forgive me…’

  ‘There’s nothing to forgive. You’ve given me so much.’

  ‘I owed you more, but your aunt must have her home while she lives, and I dare say she’ll go on for a long time, but then it will be yours.’

  ‘Please…’ Lizzie held his hand to her cheek. His eyes closed and he whispered something more. She couldn’t hear it all but knew he was telling her he loved her.

  Watching the colour fade from his cheeks, Lizzie knew that he’d gone. He’d hung on to say goodbye and then he’d given up. Tears were streaming from her eyes now and she felt devastated.

  She would stay until the funeral was over and then she would go. Aunt Jane might call her selfish and ungrateful, and perhaps she was, but she couldn’t live with a woman that hated her – and she’d seen real hatred in her aunt’s eyes this morning.

  Lizzie sat for a while just holding her uncle’s hand, and then she got up and went downstairs. The doctor would have to be told and someone would come to do what was necessary. Perhaps her aunt would want his body to remain here or she might have it taken to a chapel of rest; it wasn’t Lizzie’s choice. She’d loved her uncle, but Aunt Jane was his wife. Lizzie could only do what she was told…

  Aunt Jane just looked through Lizzie when she told her that he was dead. She didn’t speak to Lizzie but went upstairs to look for herself.

  Lizzie went down the road to the corner shop and asked to use the phone. Joe Bent looked at her sadly as she told him the reason for needing to make the call.

  ‘He was a good man your uncle,’ he said. ‘Why he stayed married to her I’ll never know, but he’ll be at peace now. She’ll be using the funeral parlour down the road, because he’s the cheapest. If I were you I should pop down there, after you’ve phoned the doc, and ask them to call.’

  Having spoken to the doctor, Lizzie smiled, thanked Joe and returned to the house. Her aunt had come downstairs. She listened when Lizzie told her she’d sent for the doctor.

  ‘You could have saved your steps if you’d waited. You’d best go down the road and tell them to come and fetch him when the doctor has been. I’m not having the stink of death in my house.’

  ‘Is there anything else you need while I’m out?’ Lizzie’s nails curled into her hands because she hated her aunt for talking like that, as if Uncle Jack was a piece of dead meat, but held her tongue out of respect to her uncle.

  ‘If there is I’ll tell you…’

  Lizzie didn’t mind how often she went out, because she could hardly bear to be in the house and know that her dear uncle was lying dead up in his room. It seemed Aunt Jane could hardly wait to get rid of him, and Lizzie knew that as soon as he had gone, she would be burning his death sheets and airing the room, as if he had never existed.

  It was unbearably painful to know that a kind and gentle man had not been truly loved by his wife. Lizzie’s eyes burned with tears, but she went through the motions, holding back her tears until she lay in bed at night.

  The next day it was easier because her uncle had been taken to a place of calm and peace and Lizzie was back at work. Ed listened to her and then just put his arms about her and held her clasped to his chest. Tears fell, but Lizzie brushed them away. They had a lot of work to do and she knew that crying would not bring back the man she’d loved.

  ‘I shall be at the funeral with you,’ Harry said when she told him some of what had happened during their lunch break. ‘Don’t worry, Lizzie, I shan’t let that old dragon get her claws into you any more than I can help. What are you going to do afterwards?’

  ‘She can come and stay with me,’ Beth said. She’d listened in silence but now she put an arm about Lizzie’s waist. ‘I’ll ask Mum tonight, but I know what she’ll say. You can share my room, Lizzie.’

  ‘Thanks, both of you,’ Lizzie said. ‘I’m glad I’ve got friends. I’m not sure I could have got through without you.’

  Living with her aunt was not an option. Aunt Jane had barely spoken to Lizzie since Uncle Jack died, and then only when she had to; her aunt had never cared for her, but now they were like two strangers forced to share the same living space, and after the funeral it could only get worse.

  *

  ‘Well, if you don’t mind sharing your room until after Mary’s wedding, Lizzie can come as soon as the funeral is over. I shall want fifteen shillings for her food and washing, same as your sister and you pay, Beth – b
ut if she’s happy with that I shall be glad of the money.’

  ‘Lizzie gives her aunt a pound a week,’ Beth said. ‘She was pleased when I told her she’d be welcome here. I think she dreaded moving into lodgings.’

  ‘Well, she can move some of her things here when she’s ready. We don’t have much room, but we’ll store them somewhere until Mary’s room is empty.’

  ‘I don’t think Lizzie has much of her own, apart from a few clothes and some drawing things. Her aunt is so mean to her…’

  ‘Well, we’ll look after her when she comes to us,’ her mother said.

  ‘I think Mr Oliver is trying to take advantage of her too. Lizzie is so clever, Mum. You should see the designs she draws – and she makes hats look really special. She should have her own hat shop.’

  ‘Perhaps she will one day, but we’ll look after her in the meantime.’ Mrs Court finished setting the table. ‘ What are you doing this evening, Beth? Is Tony taking you out?’

  ‘No, he’s working late again,’ Beth said. ‘I saw him at the bus-stop this morning. He went to look at a shop in Whitechapel but it wasn’t what he wants so he didn’t take the lease. He was disappointed, but, it’s probably better to wait for a while. If there is a war – well, he would have to leave everything to his staff and that wouldn’t work.’

  ‘It might, if you were there to look after things – don’t you think that’s what Tony wants?’

  ‘Yes, I know it is. He thinks if he had the shop, Dad would let us get married at Christmas, instead of making us wait until after I’m twenty – but I don’t want to give my job up yet, Mum.’

  ‘Perhaps your dad isn’t so wrong, love. After all, it’s only eighteen months or so now. It’s surprising how time flies, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, I know.’ Beth felt anxious. ‘Supposing it does come to a war, Mum, what happens then? What happens if Tony is called up and he wants to get married quickly?’

  ‘I don’t know, Beth. If it happens you will have to ask your dad. I think he will still say you should wait until you’re twenty – but if there’s a war and you really want to marry Tony, he might relent. That nice Mr Chamberlain keeps saying it isn’t going to happen and Germany would never declare war on us. And perhaps he is right…’

  Chapter 13

  Lizzie didn’t cry in church or even as she stood by the grave and threw a rose into the open ground. She’d cried all her tears and now felt empty and numb. She was glad that both Harry and Beth had got a few hours off to be with her. Ed had wanted to come but Mr Oliver couldn’t spare him.

  ‘I’ll be thinking of you, Lizzie,’ he’d told her. ‘Madge says you’re to come to us whenever you like… we’re your family now.’

  Lizzie had thanked him but she’d decided that she would stay with Beth’s family once she’d settled things with her aunt. Mrs Court had come to the funeral and told her she was welcome to stay with them for as long as she liked, which was a relief since her aunt was still ignoring her and Lizzie knew she wanted her out of the house.

  ‘Come on,’ Harry said, squeezing her hand as they left the churchyard. ‘I’ll take you home and then I can cart your stuff round to Beth’s house.’

  ‘Yes, please stay until everyone else has gone,’ Lizzie said. ‘I have to talk to my aunt and I’m not looking forward to it. If you’re there, we shan’t come to blows…’

  ‘She’d better not touch you.’ Harry looked so fierce that for the first time in days Lizzie felt like smiling.

  She’d been cleaning and baking every spare moment she’d got since her uncle’s death. A spread of ham sandwiches, home-made biscuits, small cakes and sausage rolls was waiting for the guests at her uncle’s house. Lizzie had thought it might only be her and her friends that went back, but instead about twenty other people piled into their tiny sitting room and overflowed into the kitchen. Uncle Jack had been a popular man, and a lot of his friends had turned up to see him off.

  Aunt Jane wore the face of a suffering martyr all the time the guests were there, but gradually they drifted away, leaving a mountain of washing up behind them.

  ‘We’ll help with this before we go,’ Mrs Court said and gave Lizzie a hug. ‘Come to us whenever you like, love.’

  ‘I’m going to talk to my aunt when you’ve gone, and Harry will bring my stuff over. I don’t have that much, a suitcase and a couple of cardboard boxes…’

  ‘Just as well or we’d have nowhere to put them,’ Beth’s mother said and wiped up a delicate china cup.

  ‘I’ll see you later.’ Beth hugged her. ‘We’ll go now, because the sooner you leave here the better.’

  Lizzie nodded. Harry had taken no part in the washing up, watching the others and saying nothing, but after they’d left, he took her hand and held it firmly.

  ‘Come on, let’s get it over…’

  They were about to walk into the sitting room when Aunt Jane entered the kitchen. Lizzie saw by her face she was angry, and then she noticed that her aunt was holding something that looked like a will.

  ‘Do you know what this is?’ she asked in the bitter tone she’d used of late towards Lizzie. ‘It was delivered by hand a few minutes ago. It’s your Uncle Jack’s will. As usual, I’m the last to know, because I can see by your face that you know the terms of it…’

  ‘He told me something before he died…’ Lizzie faltered, feeling glad that Harry was standing at her shoulder.

  ‘He left everything to you, apart from the insurance policy… about fifty pounds they told me when I telephoned and asked yesterday. Everything else – this house and the business is yours…’ If a look could kill, it was aimed at Lizzie now. ‘Twenty-five years of marriage and I get a paltry fifty pounds…’

  ‘The house is yours rent-free for your lifetime…’ Lizzie stopped as her aunt moved towards her threateningly. ‘I didn’t know until he said…’

  ‘Oh no, of course not.’ Aunt Jane hit out, but Harry moved too quickly for her and all she contacted with was his arm. ‘Yes, she’s got you running after her, hasn’t she, but just you wait until you know what she really is…’

  ‘You’d better shut your foul mouth, madam,’ Harry said, glaring at her. ‘You’re speaking of the girl I love, and one day she’s going to be my wife.’

  Aunt Jane stared at him and then started laughing. Her laughter got wilder and wilder until she was clearly hysterical and Harry took her by the shoulders and shook her.

  ‘I don’t know what’s so funny, but we’re going to fetch Lizzie’s things now and we’re leaving.’

  ‘Mrs Court has asked me to stay with her,’ Lizzie said, delaying him for a moment with a touch of her hand. ‘I’m sorry we had to part like this, Aunt Jane, but I don’t think you’d want me here even if I said I’d stay…’

  Her aunt had stopped laughing. ‘I shan’t be here that long myself, but don’t think you’re getting the house that easily. I’m going to consult a solicitor about my rights, and if I can’t actually get what belongs to me, I’ll see you don’t have it for as long as I live. You can’t stop me letting it to a tenant and having the money.’

  ‘I’m not so sure about that,’ Harry said, but Lizzie placed a gentle hand on his arm.

  ‘I don’t want to stop you renting the house,’ she said. ‘It should have been yours. I know that and so did Uncle Jack, but he chose to leave things the way he did. I could speak to the solicitor, because the house should be yours.’

  ‘No,’ Harry said. ‘Don’t give into her, Lizzie. Think about it before you make any promises. Your uncle wanted you to have it and you owe it to his memory to believe he knew what he was doing…’

  Lizzie looked at him uncertainly. She felt uncomfortable about inheriting most of her uncle’s property, because it really ought to be his wife’s, despite the way she’d treated him.

  ‘I doubt the solicitor would let you,’ Aunt Jane said bitterly. ‘Jack will have it all sewn up tight enough. I always knew it might come to this… he was a damned fool and it was his faul
t…’

  ‘You mean the accident,’ Lizzie said, staring at her intently. ‘Just because he sent me out for a packet of cigarettes and I fell and hurt my head…’

  Her aunt smiled strangely, a cold cruel glint in her eyes as she said, ‘A fall – is that what you believe Oh, no, Lizzie, that wasn’t what happened. Believe me.’

  ‘What did happen then? You’ve never told me…’

  ‘Don’t give her the chance to hurt you.’ Harry took Lizzie’s arm, steering her from the room. ‘Don’t listen to her, Lizzie darling. She’s a vindictive old witch and she’ll tell you a pack of lies. We’ll get your things and leave.’

  Lizzie looked back and the smile on her aunt’s mouth chilled her. Harry was right. Aunt Jane wanted to hurt her. It was a good thing she was leaving right now…

  *

  ‘I’m really happy you’re going to stay with us,’ Beth said when Lizzie hung her things in the wardrobe and put her undies in the drawer Beth had emptied for her. ‘You’ll be like another sister, Lizzie – and we can go everywhere together…’

  ‘Yes, we can,’ Lizzie said and hugged her. ‘I always wanted a sister and now I’ve got you. Things are going to be so much easier for us both now, Beth.’

  Beth agreed and they went down to have the tasty snack Beth’s mother had prepared for their supper: a slice of toast and dripping and a mug of sweet cocoa made with condensed milk. It was yummy sitting by the fire tucking into the treat and Lizzie realised what she’d been missing all these years as she listened to the Court family bickering and laughing, teasing each other, especially when Mary came home after seeing her fiancé and Beth’s other sister Dotty and her husband popped in with their baby for a few minutes on their way home from visiting his family. The small kitchen was crowded and Lizzie felt a part of the family, surrounded by friends and the love and kindness of people she knew she could trust. At last she was free to enjoy life, meet her friends and do what she wanted, just as her uncle had wanted for her…

  Uncle Jack’s death was going to hurt for a while longer, made worse by the bitter accusations and the hatred she’d seen in her aunt’s eyes, but it was over… Now she could put the past behind her and move on.