Imperfect: (McIntyre Security Bodyguard Series - Book 5)

by April Wilson

  I relax into him, enjoying the contact. I close my own eyes to experience a bit of the world as he does. Even in the dark like this, there’s a sense of connection between us. Not just the physical connection of our foreheads touching, or the soft brush of our exhalations, but a different kind of connection, something intangible. In the dark like this, there’s just the two of us, and it’s easy to block out the rest of the world.

  When his fingers begin to massage my neck muscles, I moan with pleasure. Without a word, he tilts his head and kisses my left temple. I savor the gentle contact, and his lips brush over my eyelids, dropping little kisses. The stress of the afternoon catches up with me, and my mind and body crash.

  Jamie shifts position on the sofa, leaning back against the cushions, and pulls me into his arms. “Just rest,” he murmurs, his lips in my hair. “Close your eyes and relax.”

  I lean against his chest, savoring the warmth and the strength of his body. I’ll let myself rely on him, just for a few minutes, before I have to get up again and face the world.

  Chapter 26

  Jamie

  Molly falls asleep in my arms, resting against my chest, and I’m in no hurry to wake her. I think the events of today really knocked her for a loop.

  I’d like to show Todd what it feels like to be frightened, to be intimidated, to be at someone else’s mercy. The fact that he had his hands on Molly – hell, his fingers around her God-damned throat – makes me want to break something. Preferably something on his body. I’m trying to remain calm, for Molly’s sake, but damn it, I just want to make him suffer for what he’s done to her.

  Molly makes a quiet sound in her sleep, a cross between a moan and a sigh, and she snuggles closer to me. I can’t help my body’s physical reaction to the feel of her warm body pressed against mine. I close my eyelids and inhale deeply, taking in the scent of her. My body responds with a mind of its own, and I can feel myself getting hard. Damn it. I have to shift a little to make room for my dick.

  My body’s response is inconvenient, to say the least. I don’t think she’d welcome it right now, and it’s pretty damn uncomfortable for me. Still, I have to admit it’s a bit gratifying. Molly is the first woman I’ve had any sexual interest in since my accident. Since the explosion, I lived in isolation, first in a hospital, then in Shane’s house, rarely coming into contact with anyone other than family and friends and McIntyre Security staff. Meeting Molly changed all that. Now I just have to convince her to give us a chance.

  I understand why she’s hesitant to enter into another relationship. Her failed marriage to Todd, and his asshole behavior to her now, probably soured her on men altogether. I get that. But we’re not all assholes. I’m sure she knows that, but right now she can’t see the forest for the trees.

  But even if she were open to the idea of dating again, that doesn’t mean she’d want to date me. I’m defective. Although I can take care of myself and handle most situations, there will always be some things I can’t manage on my own.

  I know she worries about what Todd might try to do to me. Hell, I’d love for him to take a crack at me. That’s all the justification I’d need to break every bone in his body. I’m pretty sure Molly has no clue what I’m capable of. Maybe I should show her. Maybe I should arrange to give her a demonstration of my physical capabilities in the boxing ring.

  If she saw me go hand-to-hand with someone like Jake, someone who’s a real freaking bad ass, maybe she’d reevaluate me as a potential partner. I’ll have to call him and set something up – maybe at the wedding.

  I’m still stunned she agreed to go with me to the wedding. I was so sure she’d say no. It was all I could do to remain calm when she said yes. Of course, she agreed we’d go as friends. But still, having her there with me is a big step in the right direction. If we can spend more time together, maybe she’ll see that I have a lot to offer her.

  I reach up to rub my eyes and stop myself just in time. It’s an old habit, rubbing my eyes, and I still have the urge to do it when my eye muscles are tired, like they are now. To distract myself, I relax and pull Molly closer. She’s still out cold, and I’m enjoying the chance to hold her. Of course, I’d rather be holding her in my bed, both of us naked, but this will have to do for now. Anything more is wishful thinking at this point. But I’ll wait. I’ve got all the time in the world.

  I brush her hair back from her face, letting the strands slide through my fingers. I love playing with her hair; I love the texture of it, the weight and the waves. I have an indistinct image in my mind of a woman with brown hair and brown eyes, about five-eight, probably around one-hundred-fifty pounds or so if I had to guess. But I can’t see her face. I’ll never see her face, but I try not to dwell on that. If we were to get married and have kids, I’d never see their faces either. It’s a shame we didn’t meet before the accident. At least then I’d have a memory to carry with me.

  Molly’s cat jumps up on the sofa and starts purring as he rubs against my thigh.

  “Hey, buddy,” I say when he bumps his head against my hand. “Sorry I can’t pet you right now. I’ve got my hands full. Maybe later.” I’m sure as hell not letting go of Molly to pet the cat. “No offense, pal, but priorities. You understand, right?”

  Molly stirs, making a sleepy sound that goes straight to my dick.

  “Who are you talking to?” she says, barely awake.

  “Your cat. I’m sorry we woke you. Go back to sleep.”

  She sits up, and sadly I have to let her go.

  “I fell asleep,” she says, moaning as she stretches. “How long was I out? Please tell me I didn’t snore.”

  I laugh. “You were asleep for about an hour, and no, you didn’t snore.”

  “Oh, thank God. What time is it?”

  I ask my phone for the time, and it obliges me. Four-thirty. It’ll be time for dinner before long. “Why don’t you come over to my place for dinner? I’ll cook something quick and easy. You can relax.”

  She hesitates and I’m afraid she’s going to say no. I know what she’s thinking... slippery slope and all. We keep getting closer and closer, every time we see each other.

  “Molly, it’s just dinner, not a commitment. Besides, you need to eat. We both do.”

  She laughs nervously, and I know I was right. She’s afraid we’re getting too close.

  “Okay,” she says. “Dinner sounds good. I am hungry.”

  I gently lower Charlie to the floor and sit up, reaching for my glasses. I stand and lift my arms, stretching my back, which is a bit stiff after having been in the same position for so long.

  “Why don’t you go ahead,” she says in an odd voice, making me wonder if she’s going to change her mind.

  “Molly – ”

  “I just need a few minutes to freshen up. I’ll be right over. Do you have your cane – oh, yes, it’s by the door.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you in a few minutes. As long as you promise not to change your mind.”

  “I promise.”

  Chapter 27

  Molly

  The moment Jamie’s out the door, I lean back on the sofa and run my hands through my hair. Oh, my God! When he stood and stretched, his shirt rode up, exposing his waist. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, but I got a front-row view of his muscled abdomen, lightly furred with brown hair. I saw so many muscles I couldn’t count them all. All I know is that my gaze went right to his happy trail, which disappeared beneath the jeans hanging low on his hips. I can only image what’s beneath those jeans.

  Seeing him like that, in a moment of weakness, lit a fire deep in my belly that I thought had been extinguished for good. I honestly thought Todd had killed my desire for intimacy. Just now, I’d wanted to reach out and grab him and pull him back down on the sofa with me. I’d wanted to wrap myself around him and feel him sink deep inside me.

  As Chloe would say, what fresh hell have I gotten myself into? How can I continue to spend time with him and not want him? And knowing he’s interested
in me just makes resisting him that much harder.

  I head to the bathroom to make good on my promise to freshen up. I run a comb through my sleep-mussed hair, brush my teeth, and splash water on my face, all the while staring at myself in the mirror.

  Do you have any idea what you’re doing?

  What does Jamie see in me? He doesn’t even know what I look like – but maybe that’s a blessing. I guess I’m moderately attractive, although I’ll never win any beauty pageants. And I’ll always be struggling to lose an unwanted ten or fifteen pounds.

  After setting Charlie’s dinner out for him, I lock up my apartment and head down the hall to Jamie’s place. Standing outside his door, I steel myself against temptation and take a deep breath.

  Just friends, I remind myself. Just friends.

  But why? asks a little voice in my head. Why not more than friends?

  Because Todd! And because I’m missing a couple of key body parts, that’s why.

  But the little voice in my head isn’t satisfied with those answers. He’s not afraid of Todd. And maybe he won’t mind so much about your missing body parts. You’ll never know unless you tell him.

  * * *

  “Now you’re just making me look bad,” I tell Jamie as I sidle up beside him at the stove.

  I’m so glad he enjoys cooking. One of us should. I’d be happy to do the dishes every night, if he’d cook the meal.

  He’s just taken two foil packets out of the oven and laid them on the cutting board to unwrap. Inside each packet is a baked chicken breast on top of a little mound of cut-up roasted new potatoes. The chicken, which he seasoned with rosemary, garlic, oregano, and thyme, smells delicious.

  “Well, I will admit I’m trying to impress you,” he says, sticking a meat thermometer in one of the chicken breasts. The thermometer beeps. “It’s ready,” he says.

  I watch as he carefully dishes the food onto two plates, arranging everything just so.

  When he reaches for a serving fork, he brushes the back of his hand against the hot baking dish he’d just taken out of the oven. “Shit!” he hisses, jerking his hand back. His hand is curled tightly into a fist, and I can tell from the grimace on his face that it hurts.

  “Here, put your hand under cold water,” I say, moving around him to turn on the faucet. “Come on.”

  He follows me to the sink and holds his hand under the stream of water. His jaw is clenched tightly, his lips flattened. His nostrils flare as he breathes hard.

  “Do you have any aloe?” I say. “It does wonders for the pain.”

  “Don’t bother,” he says, gritting his teeth. “The pain’s fading. I’ll be fine.”

  “You don’t sound fine.”

  I glance up at him, and he turns his face away, as if he’s embarrassed. That’s when I realize… it’s not the pain that’s bothering him. He’s angry because he burned himself. “It was an accident,” I tell him. “It could happen to anyone.”

  I watch the muscles in his jaw clenching and flexing as he grinds his teeth. Reaching up, I brush his hair gently, then lean close enough to kiss his arm where it meets his shoulder. “No one’s perfect, Jamie. Not even you.”

  That earns me a smile, and he relaxes his fist under the stream of water. I grab a clean hand towel from the cupboard and pat his hand dry, careful not to touch the burn.

  “Is it feeling better?”

  “Yes.” He laughs. “If I knew burning myself would earn me a kiss, I would have done it long before now.”

  * * *

  He bumps his shoulder against mine. “Food’s ready. Can you grab the bottle of red wine in the fridge? I’ll carry the plates.”

  While I bring the bottle of wine to the table and open it, Jamie carries in the plates, then goes back to the kitchen to fetch the dinner rolls.

  “Jamie, thank you. This is a really nice dinner. You didn’t have to go to all this trouble for me, you know.”

  He smiles, looking pleased. “It’s no trouble. You had a rough day. You needed a good meal.”

  The food is amazing, cooked and seasoned perfectly. I have to admit, he’s a better cook than I am.

  “How’s your hand?” I ask him.

  He flexes his hand and closes it into a fist. “Much better now. I think I’ll live.”

  When we’re finished eating, we clear the table and clean up in the kitchen together. I enjoy this little moment of domesticity with him. Housework is always more enjoyable when there are two sets of hands.

  The kitchen is cleaned up in no time, and I don’t know what to do. I should leave, I suppose. I’ve taken up all of his afternoon and part of his evening. I’m sure he has work to do. But the thought of leaving him and going back to my empty apartment holds little appeal.

  “I should go,” I say. “You’ve probably got stuff – work – you need to do.”

  I’m feeling torn. Part of me wants to leave before I get even more attached to him, and part of me hopes he’ll insist I stay a while longer. In the back of my mind, I’m worried about Todd showing up this evening. I don’t know if the police have arrested him yet or not. Or if they did, if he’s managed to get out on bail. Here, I feel safe.

  “Molly, are you okay?”

  How does he read me so well? “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t sound fine.” He lays his hands on my shoulders, and I’m sure he can feel the tension in my body. I’m fairly radiating with it. “Are you worried?” he says. “About Todd?”

  “A little bit, yes.”

  He frowns. “You’re worried he’ll try to get into the building tonight?”

  “He has a knack of getting into places he shouldn’t be. And I don’t know if he’s been arrested or not yet, and if he was, how soon he’ll get out on bail. He’s going to be so angry.” Just the thought of how he’ll react when he’s arrested makes me shudder.

  “You’re welcome to stay here tonight. I have plenty of room.”

  “Thanks, but I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

  “It’s no inconvenience. You can have my bed, and I’ll take the sofa. Or, if you’d feel more comfortable, I’ll stay with you at your place. I can sleep on your sofa.”

  “I wouldn’t mind staying here tonight,” I say. My belly is happy and a glass of wine has warmed my body. I feel like tempting fate tonight. “Just this once.”

  * * *

  I’m curled up on the sofa next to Jamie, and we’re twenty minutes into a sci-fi movie when Jamie’s intercom buzzes, announcing the arrival of a visitor. I nearly jump out of my skin when Gus shoots to his feet and runs to the door, barking.

  Jamie laughs and pats my knee. “It’s okay, it’s just Jake.” He pauses the movie. “His team must be done installing the security system in your studio.”

  Jamie walks to the intercom and speaks to his brother, then buzzes him up. A few moments later, there’s a firm knock on the door.

  Jake steps inside the apartment, his presence a bit overwhelming in the small space. Dressed in all black, as he is now, he’s incredibly intimidating. I wonder if he’s married, or has a girlfriend. I can’t imagine being on the receiving end of all that intensity.

  Jake takes off his black leather jacket and hangs it over the back of one of the dining table chairs. He’s wearing a T-shirt, also black, and it accentuates his muscular build. There’s a black handgun holstered to his chest.

  “The system’s in and functioning,” he tells us in his slightly gruff, deep voice, as he absently reaches down to pat Gus on the head. Then he pulls a packet of folded papers out of his jacket pocket and lays it on the table. “Here are all the instructions you’ll need, Molly, including your passcode. We’ve installed a couple of panic buttons in strategic locations in your shop. If you hit one of those buttons, the police will be on your doorstep in no time.”

  “Thank you,” I say.

  Jamie nods. “I’ll walk her through everything tomorrow. Thanks, Jake. I appreciate you doing this on such short notice.”

  “No need to
thank me, bro.” Then he turns those obsidian eyes on me. “You okay, Molly?”

  I nod. “Yes, thanks.”

  “If anyone bothers you at your shop, you just push one of the panic buttons and help will be on the way, I guarantee it. No more worries, okay?”

  I smile gratefully. “Okay.”

  Jake glances at the flatscreen panel on the wall. “What are you guys watching?”

  “Aliens,” Jamie says. “Molly’s never seen it before.”

  Jake looks at me like I’m from another planet. “Seriously? You’ve never seen Aliens? My brothers and I were weaned on Aliens.”

  I shake my head, laughing. “I’ve never really been a big sci-fi fan.”

  “Jamie will fix that,” he says, grabbing his jacket and pulling it on. “Well, enjoy your movie, kids. I’ve got to get back to work.”

  “This late?” I say, surprised. It’s got to be nearly nine o’clock. “Aren’t you done for the night?”

  Jake shakes his head. “Surveillance work is never done. I’ve got to go relieve one of the teams in the field. We’re keeping tabs on a drug distributor who’s trying to muscle his way into the city. Fun stuff.”

  When the movie ends, and most everyone in it is dead courtesy of slobbering aliens, I’m pretty sure I’ve carved permanent scars into Jamie’s arm. I’ve been holding onto him for dear life for the past hour and a half, digging my nails into his arm every time one of those disgusting monsters popped out of nowhere to kill someone. Gus slept blissfully unaware of the carnage while I was on the verge of having a heart attack.

  “Oh, my God,” I say, leaning back against the cushions as the credits roll. “That was absolutely horrifying. I’ll never sleep now.”

  Jamie laughs. “Oh, come on! It’s just a movie.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. I hate scary movies.”

  “Okay. Next time, we’ll watch a chick flick. Your pick. How’s that?”