Robot Dust Bunnies (Argonauts Book 5)

by Isaac Hooke

  “Probably a good idea,” Surus said. “I’ll get on it. By the way, I’ve finished my prototype of the quantum Slipstream antenna. Now I just need some live swarm members to test it against. After I’m done communicating with the governor, I would like to retrofit the antenna to the telemetry drone. With your permission, I will link it to the on-board comm node, which will allow me to control the antenna remotely.”

  “So essentially, it sounds like you’re hoping the Phants will use their swarm weapon against us while we’re still aboard the Molotok,” Rade said.

  “I’m not hoping at all,” Surus replied. “I’m merely preparing for the inevitable. When we approach that base, as far as we know, they could launch the swarm at our ship at any time. At least we’ll have something to potentially defend ourselves with.”

  “A modified telemetry drone,” Rade said dryly. “Equipped with an antenna you’ve never tested.”

  “I have tested it,” Surus said. “Just not against a working swarm robot. Obviously I’ll need to further refine it after deployment, but I’ve baked in enough controls to allow for this.”

  “All right, permission granted,” Rade said. “How long will it take to integrate your antenna with the drone’s tech?”

  “A few days,” Surus said.

  “We reach the station in under three days,” Rade said.

  “Then I certainly have my work cut out for me, don’t I?” Surus said.

  twenty-three

  It took two and half days to reach free port Vladivostok.

  The large station was vaguely hourglass shaped, its surface lit by various white lights that fanned their illumination across the gray hull. It was the kind of spaceport that allowed starships to dock directly, via the spindle of large, reinforced entry tubes protruding from the central hub. The Argonaut was one of those vessels; via the Molotok’s nose camera, Rade saw that it had joined an external airlock to one of those docking tubes via its magnetic mounting brackets.

  “Anything from the station?” Rade asked his comm man.

  “No,” Fret said. “Not even the docking subsystems are responding. I’m guessing once we attach, we’re going to have to manually cut our way inside.”

  “Bring us in,” Rade told Shaw.

  With the help of the AI, Shaw positioned the Molotok next to one of the unoccupied entry tubes. She chose a tube that had enough clearance on either side of it for the corsair, and once the standard-sized airlock was in place, she activated the magnetic mounting brackets. Rade could hear the hull groaning even from the bridge while the mounts secured, as the framework of the ship strained against the reinforced entry tubes. When the exchange of centrifugal forces became balanced once more, the moaning ceased.

  “The Phants are here,” Surus announced.

  “Why haven’t they fled by now?” Manic asked.

  “They want us here, obviously,” Tahoe said. “It has to be a trap of some kind.”

  “Either that, or they haven’t finished what they came to do,” Rade said. “And don’t particularly regard us as a threat. After what happened on that lava planet, I don’t blame them. Lui, is the external airlock responding to our entry requests?”

  “No,” Lui said. “As Fret mentioned, we’ll either have to cut our way inside, or have TJ hack in.”

  Rade tapped in TJ, who was in engineering. “TJ, have a look at the airlock. See if you can get us inside.”

  “I’ll get on it,” TJ replied.

  “In the meantime,” Rade said. “Let’s try out some of the new HS3s we printed up. Bender, get them down to the airlock, along with the Centurions. I want a boarding party ready.”

  “You got it,” Bender said.

  “Make sure the Centurions wear the anti-Phant jumpsuits Tahoe prepared,” Rade said. Since they had lost those jumpsuits with the Argonaut, for the past few days Tahoe had worked from the blueprints Surus had given him, and employed the 3D printers to create the necessary EM emitters for the spare jumpsuits they had aboard the Molotok. When the combat robots wore them, they would have the same protection as the humans: Rade didn’t want his Centurions getting possessed in the middle of the operation. Tahoe had attached similar devices to Mikhail’s AI core.

  Incidentally, Tahoe had also printed up an extra couple of emitters and attached them to the incubators. Those remained inactive for the past few days, since Rade hadn’t wanted to expose his children to unnecessary radiation, but now that they had docked, he gave the order for Mikhail to activate them. The last thing he needed was the Phants seeping aboard in secret, and then killing his children.

  Rade tapped in Surus. “I don’t suppose you feel like giving up your stun rifle?”

  Surus had only the one stun rifle. She didn’t have the necessary raw materials aboard to 3D print a new one. And unfortunately, she hadn’t been able to buy the particular elements she needed aboard the pleasure station.

  “I’d rather not,” Surus said. “I’m willing to enter with the scouts, if you want me to.”

  “No,” Rade said. “You’ll go inside with us. Keep your weapon. Get suited up and meet us at the airlock.”

  Rade turned to his bridge crew. “Well team, time to gear up.” He forwarded the message on to those members who weren’t on the bridge.

  The Argonauts began to file out.

  “Are we going to use Hoplites?” Fret asked hopefully.

  “While they’ll certainly fit the station’s concourse,” Rade said. “I don’t think we can get them into the entry tubes.”

  “There have to be cargo holds we can use to get inside,” Fret said. “We launch from our hangar bay, make our way to the station cargo hold, and cut inside.”

  Rade shook his head. “We go with jumpsuits, for now. The Hoplites will be too unwieldy in the confines of the station.”

  He paused when he saw Shaw remaining seated at her station. “You’re not coming?”

  She shook her head.

  “Are you sure?” Rade asked. “After what happened aboard the Argonaut...”

  “I’m sure,” Shaw said.

  “But I can have Mikhail keep watch,” Rade pressed.

  “Are you really going to trust the safety of your children to an AI we’ve only known a few days?” Shaw asked.

  “No, probably not,” Rade said. “How many combat robots do you want me to leave aboard?”

  “I’d say two should be more than enough,” Shaw replied.

  “I’ll have Cora and Ulysses remain aboard. I’ll place the former unit near the entry airlock, and the latter in sickbay.”

  “That works for me,” Shaw said.

  Rade gave the orders to the robots, then returned his attention to Shaw. “One thing: not that I’m complaining, but I thought you said having children wouldn’t stop you from joining me on missions.”

  “Guess I didn’t realize how much Alex and Sil would mean to me,” Shaw said. “The mothering instinct... it’s hard to deny. I probably won’t be going on missions with you for a while. At least until they’re older.”

  Rade grinned. “When they’re old enough to go on missions with us together!”

  Shaw’s face fell. “Oh no. Don’t even joke about that.”

  Rade became serious. “Sorry. Yeah, don’t think we’ll be taking them on missions any time soon. If ever.”

  “Good.” She stood up slightly to wrap her arms around his neck and give him a peck on the lips.

  “Have to go,” Rade said.

  She pouted when he pushed her away. “Be careful down there.”

  “Always am,” Rade said.

  “Was that sarcasm in your voice?” Shaw asked.

  “If there was, it’s only because you’re putting it there,” Rade said.

  He hurried down to the hangar bay to change. The Argonauts had loaded their original jumpsuits into the storage lockers there.

  As Rade and the others donned the suits, Bender and Manic got up to their usual shenanigans.

  “Hey Bender,” Manic said. “Knoc
k knock.”

  Bender ignored him.

  “Bender,” Manic pressed.

  “What!” Bender said.

  “Knock knock.”

  “Don’t do it,” Lui warned.

  Bender grabbed his jumpsuit leg assembly and started to put it on.

  “Knock knock,” Manic said again.

  Bender slammed the unworn leg assembly to the deck. “Who the eff is there?”

  “Orange,” Manic said.

  “Don’t do it,” Lui repeated.

  Bender frowned.

  “Orange,” Manic said, his eyes widening in excitement. “Orange.”

  Lui shook his head. “This isn’t going to end well.”

  “Orange who?” Bender said.

  “Orange you glad I did your sister in the ass!” Manic replied.

  “You piece of—” Bender hurled himself at Manic.

  But Rade was ready and intercepted him before he could touch Manic. Tahoe meanwhile had positioned himself in front of Manic.

  “Calm down,” Rade said. “They’re just words. Sticks and stones...”

  Bender breathed rapidly for several moments, his eyes focused on Manic with absolute intensity. He was like an animal.

  Bender finally seemed to realize that Rade was restraining him and his muscles relaxed. “Sorry boss. Bitch knows how to get under my skin.”

  “Only because you let him,” Rade said. “Next time he brings up your sister, just laugh along with him.”

  Bender returned to his locker and continued dressing. “My sister’s ass.” He stared at Manic and forced a laugh. “My sister’s ass.” He managed an even harder laugh. “My sister’s pussy!” He erupted in a chortle that almost seemed real.

  “That’s right!” Manic was laughing along with him. “Your sister’s sweet sweet pussy. Munch munch munch. Mine all mine.”

  Bender leaped onto Manic once more and Rade and Tahoe had to pull them apart.

  “Maybe it was a bad idea for you to recommend he laugh along with him,” Tahoe suggested.

  “Probably,” Rade agreed.

  When they arrived at the airlock, the Centurions were already suited up and in place, waiting with the HS3s by the Molotok’s airlock. Surus was there as well, along with TJ, both fully suited.

  “TJ, I need an update,” Rade sent.

  “I’m having a bit of trouble hacking into the station’s airlock remotely,” TJ said. “I could try a direct connection, but honestly it’s probably better to cut inside. A few plasma rifles will get the job done in about two minutes.”

  Rade glanced at his Argonauts. “Faceplates closed.” He shut his helmet faceplate, as did the others. “Mikhail, open our side of the airlock.” The inner and outer hatches of the Molotok opened, revealing another set of hatches beyond. “Algorithm, Brat: use your plasma rifles to cut through.”

  Those were the only two equipped with plasma rifles. The rest of the robots had been disarmed before Alton and Corunna had thrown them into the void; they were currently equipped with laser rifles, which Tahoe had picked up from a black market weapons dealer at the pleasure station.

  When the two robots were inside the airlock, Rade had the Molotok’s inner hatch sealed.

  “We’re through,” Algorithm reported shortly. “The atmosphere is stable. No sign of any contagions. Artificial gravity appears to be intact.”

  Rade switched to Algorithm’s external video feed. He saw a long, tight corridor extending away from the airlock.

  “We won’t be taking our Hoplites in there,” Fret said.

  “No, we won’t,” Rade agreed. He dismissed the video feed. “Mikhail, regulate the airlock. Seal both hatches, then open the inner first, wait until the scouts enter, then seal it and evacuate the compartment before opening the outer hatch. I don’t want to risk the spread of contagions, even if Algorithm reported no sign of any.”

  “Understood,” Mikhail said.

  “TJ,” Rade continued, “send in the HS3s, followed by the Centurions. Let’s get this place scouted.”

  Mikhail regulated the hatches as requested.

  The HS3s, currently residing on the deck, powered on, rotors whirring, and flew inside. The robots entered after them. The outer hatch closed, and then the inner opened: the scouts tore past Algorithm and Brat into the corridor beyond. The rest of the robots followed twenty meters behind.

  As the Argonauts waited next to the airlock, Bender looked at Harlequin, and the Artificial gave him a quizzical expression from behind the helmet faceplate.

  “Shut your mouth AI,” Bender told Harlequin. “Before I use it as a punching bag.”

  “But I didn’t say anything,” Harlequin said.

  “But you were going to, and that’s the same thing in my book,” Bender said. He spoke his next words in a high pitched fashion. “I didn’t say anything. Whiny bitch.”

  “I’d like to see this book of yours,” Manic said. “Full of Benderisms. I’m sure I’d be enlightened.”

  “Dude, you have no idea,” Bender said.

  Bender was staring at Harlequin. The latter’s mouth opened, and Bender shot up a gloved finger. “Ah! Ah! Open that mouth, it becomes my punching bag!”

  Harlequin frowned. Then he spoke anyway: “I’m afraid if you did that, you’d damage your hand.”

  “What!” Bender said. “Don’t talk back to me, AI.”

  “I don’t understand,” Harlequin said. “That is what a conversation is about. You say something, I speak back in return. I’m merely trying to prevent you from injuring yourself.”

  “That’s it! Open up your faceplate. Open it!” Bender removed his glove.

  “Bender...” Rade said.

  “It’s all right, boss,” Harlequin said. He opened his faceplate.

  Bender punched the Artificial in the mouth. A loud, metallic clang echoed through the passageway. Bender’s face contorted in agony. He pulled his hand away, and shook it up and down a few times, obviously in pain. Harlequin, meanwhile, appeared undamaged.

  “Ah, bad idea,” Bender said. “Bad idea.”

  “Nicely done,” Manic said. “Disable yourself before a mission.”

  Bender stiffened, and replaced his expression with a mask of calm. “Nope, used my left hand.” He casually replaced the glove, flinching slightly.

  “Bro, you’re off the rails,” Lui said.

  Bender flashed that golden grille of his. “Never claimed to be on the rails in the first place.”

  Rade shook his head and glared at Harlequin.

  “What?” Harlequin said. “I told him not to do it.”

  “And yet you opened your helmet,” Rade said.

  “I didn’t want him to break the faceplate,” Harlequin said.

  “The HS3s have reached the hatch to the concourse,” TJ announced. “It won’t open.”

  “Send the Centurions forward to cut through,” Rade said.

  twenty-four

  In moments the HS3s emerged into the fourth level of a seven level concourse. The middle area was open, with narrow walkways from each floor forming spindles that led to an elevator shaft running the length of the station. More walkways surrounded the rim of each floor, protected by glass railings that overlooked the open area.

  The outer walls of the fourth floor were lined with well-spaced exit hatches that sealed away the entry tubes leading to the other starships. Escalators placed between those hatches allowed access to the higher and lower floors.

  Each level both above and below the fourth was successively wider than the last, matching the hourglass shape Rade had seen on the outside. Various shops and restaurants lay behind the railed-off walkways along the rim, catering to the space traveler. There were duty free stores, high end clothing shops, and robot accessory kiosks. The security doors and grilles had sealed all of them away from the concourse: though most of the shops likely didn’t have any real inventory, the owners still had to protect the raw materials and the 3D-print-on-demand tech used to create anything someone might buy.


  “Welcome to Vaginostock station,” Bender said. “With the emphasis on the vagin.”

  “Vladivostok,” Harlequin corrected.

  “Shut up, AI bitch!” Bender said. “Bust up my hand, would you? You don’t get to speak.”

  “Looks like the station residents had time to close up shop,” Manic commented.

  “There are certain conditions where the grilles would close automatically,” Lui said. “Such as a breach scenario.”

  “Doesn’t look breached at the moment,” Fret said.

  “Could have been repaired,” Lui said.

  “Remember, our enemy could be lying in wait anywhere,” Rade said. “Fan the HS3s out, TJ. Get that concourse explored. Also, I want the Centurions to proceed directly toward the entry tube where the Argonaut is docked. Best guess.”

  Rade watched the concourse map fill out as LIDAR from the moving HS3s bounced from all the nooks and crannies. The blue dots representing the robots marched along the fourth floor walkway, passing the different exit hatches.

  In a few moments Algorithm reported in: “I believe this is the hatch leading to the entry tube the Argonaut used. What we’ve mapped so far matches up with the location of the vessel. Should we cut our way inside?”

  “Do it,” Rade said, switching to the Centurion’s viewpoint.

  The robots assumed a defensive position around the opening, and then Algorithm and Brat fired their plasma weapons repeatedly, soon dissolving the hatch. The passageway beyond proved empty.

  “Proceed to the Argonaut,” Rade said.

  The robots entered the corridor in single file. They reached the station’s sealed hatch in fifty meters.

  “We’re at the hatch,” Algorithm said. “As expected, the station’s airlock isn’t responding. Nor is the Argonaut’s, for that matter. We can breach the outer hatch, but if we cut the inner, we risk damaging the Argonaut’s airlock. I am assuming that you’d rather we didn’t harm the Argonaut...”

  “That would be a good assumption,” Rade said. “Open up your comm node to TJ and give him remote access so that he can attempt entry. He’s very familiar with the ship and its current patch and backdoor state.”

  “Done,” Algorithm replied.