Wind Rider

by Connie Mason

  Squinting against the brilliant glare of the sun bouncing off the hills, Zach grew more and more convinced that the rider was his brother-in-law. What puzzled Zach was the dejected droop of Ryder’s shoulders, the way his head remained bowed, as if Ryder was unaware or uncaring of where he was going. Zach knew Ryder to be an alert, watchful man, yet nothing in his manner gave the slightest indication of alertness. Snapping the reins, Zach guided his mount down the hill to intercept the man whom he now felt certain was Ryder.

  Ryder’s keen ears picked up the sound of Zach’s horse and he stiffened, his hand resting on his knife. He might not be able to see, but he was fully capable of defending himself if the need arose. His body tense, he reined in his pony and waited for the rider to approach.

  Zach felt a surge of relief when he noted that Ryder appeared healthy and unharmed. It also pleased him that Ryder was riding west, toward the farm. He halted beside Ryder. “Thank God I found you.”

  “Who is it?”

  Zach sent Ryder a curious look. “It’s Zach; are you blind? Abby was worried about you and.. .” Suddenly he saw the blank look in Ryder’s eyes and the way he looked past him as if... His heart thundered against his chest as he realized the horrible truth. “My God, you are ...”

  “Blind,” Ryder supplied. “I cannot see, Zach.”

  “My God! How did it happen?”

  “The Great Spirit took my sight as punishment for.. .”

  “Punishment for what? I don’t understand.”

  Ryder clamped his teeth together. “I cannot say.” Ryder couldn’t talk about it. He had lost Hannah and failed miserably in his effort to conform to white ways. He had left his people for a white woman and she had chosen another because he had failed her. And now the Great Spirit had struck him blind, making him unfit for any woman.

  “I’m taking you home, Ryder, where you can rest and recuperate. This affliction can’t be permanent. I’ll get the best doctors in this part of the country to treat you. And if they fail, I’ll send to Boston for a specialist. You may not know this, but I am a wealthy man.”

  “Wealth is found in Mother Earth, in Grandfather Sun, and in the sky above, not in shiny metal,” Ryder replied.

  “In the white world money is important,” Zach defended. “I am happy to be able to give your sister all she deserves in life.”

  Ryder offered Zach a knowing smile. “Tears Like Rain needs nothing more than you and her son to be happy. Indians have no need of money.”

  “But white men do. Once you get settled in at the farm I have a proposition that might interest you. You’ll need a way to earn a living.”

  Hannah had vomited upon arising for the third day in a row, and she had too many brothers and sisters not to know that she was pregnant. So far she had kept her condition from Abby. But she knew that sooner or later her astute sister-in-law would find out; already she had missed her woman’s time twice. Ryder’s baby. The idea thrilled her. If only Ryder was here to share her happiness.

  Just then, little Trey awoke and let out a loud wail. Hannah knew that Abby was out in the barn, so she went into the baby’s room, changed him, and carried him out into the parlor. Sitting down in the rocker before the hearth, Hannah rocked back and forth, hoping to appease him until his mother returned to feed him. The motion was so soothing, the baby fell back to sleep, and she closed her eyes and drifted into a light doze. She didn’t hear the commotion in the yard a few minutes later.

  Abby heard riders approaching and ran out of the barn into the yard, knowing instinctively that Zach had returned. And if she knew her husband, Ryder was with him. Squealing in delight, she threw herself into Zach’s arms the moment he dismounted. She gave him a quick hug, then turned to Ryder, her throat clogged with tears. It had been so long since she’d seen her brother, and she’d been so afraid for him since the army had been given orders to wipe out all Indian males over the age of twelve. In some case the soldiers paid little heed to age or gender. She had seen firsthand what happened at Sand Creek.

  “Wind Rider!” It was difficult to call him by his white name. “I’m so happy Zach found you. Where have you been?”

  At the sound of her voice Ryder turned in her direction. He held out his arms and she rushed into them. “Tears Like Rain.” When he’d left her a year ago he’d thought he’d never see her again. He recalled how close they had been when they had first arrived at White Feather’s camp, two children who had only each other to cling to. They had remained close throughout the years, relying on one another for their emotional needs, until they had learned to think and act like true Cheyenne.

  “Ryder was riding this way when I found him,” Zach said, waiting for Abby to discover that her brother was blind.

  “Come inside, Ryder. I want you to meet your new nephew,” Abby gushed as she pulled him inside the house. “You should see him, Ryder; he looks just like Zach.”

  Hannah heard the voices and footsteps on the porch and came fully awake. Seeing that the baby was still asleep, she placed him in his crib and walked toward the front door to investigate. The door flew open and Hannah grasped a nearby table for support when she saw Abby walk into the room, dragging Ryder behind her. Zach followed close on their heels.

  Abby saw Hannah and grinned, waiting for Ryder to notice his wife. She hoped he’d be pleased to find her here. She watched him expectantly, but there was no change in his expression. In fact, his eyes were blank, as if he saw nothing at all.

  “Ryder, aren’t you going to say anything to Hannah?”

  “Hannah? What about Hannah?”

  Abby stared at him as if he had lost his mind. “Ryder, what is wrong with you? Hannah is right here, standing in front of you.”

  Hannah made a strangled sound deep in her throat. Pain lashed through her, more pain than she’d ever known in her life. Ryder hated her.

  Hated her so much that he refused to acknowledge her presence. Why had she ever told him that terrible lie? Didn’t he realize she’d rather die than let any man but Ryder touch her? Stifling a sob, she turned and ran from the room.

  “Ryder! What is wrong with you?” Abby’s voice was taut with displeasure. Ryder had never heard that tone before.

  “He can’t see, sweetheart.” Zach’s words brought Abby spinning around to confront him.

  “What did you say?”

  “It is true, Tears Like Rain. I cannot see,” Ryder concurred, forestalling Zach’s reply.

  “When did this terrible thing happen to you? How did it happen?”

  “I went on a vision quest. It happened while I was staring into the sun. The Great Spirit is angry with me. He took my sight. Where is Hannah?”

  “She ran out of the room. She does not know that you’re .. . blind. I’m sure she thought that you were angry with her and deliberately ignored her. Go to her; tell her what happened. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

  “Why isn’t she with her lover?”

  “Perhaps there is no lover,” Abby hinted, unwilling to divulge something Hannah had told her in confidence. “I don’t know what happened between you and Hannah, but you must let her explain. She is a free woman now. No one owns her services. Go to her and let her tell you what happened.”

  Ryder shook his head. At times pride was a most difficult cross to bear. “Without eyes I am fit for no woman. Hannah is better off without me.”

  “We will find the best doctors to treat you,” Abby assured him. “Perhaps the condition is a temporary one. I’m just so glad you’re here, I don’t care whether you can see or not. Wait here; I’ll go get Trey. He’s anxious to meet his uncle.”

  “She’s right, you know,” Zach contended once Abby had left the room. “Your condition is probably temporary. You’ve got to think about Hannah now. She’s your wife; you can’t just abandon her.”

  “She abandoned me, Zach. She’s better off with the blue coat.”

  “Here he is, Ryder. This is your nephew, Trey Mercer.” Abby placed the baby in Ryder’s arms, watch
ing his expression change to pure delight. The baby cooed up at him and Ryder’s sightless eyes lit up. With a gentle fingertip he traced the baby’s features.

  “You say he looks like Zach?”

  “The spitting image.” Abby took the baby back, snuggling him to her breast. “I’m sorry to take him away so soon, but it’s feeding time, Ryder.”

  “I’ll come with you, sweetheart,” Zach said. “I need to become reacquainted with my son. But first I’ll take Ryder to his room.” He wagged his eyebrows at Abby, took Ryder’s arm, and guided him toward the bedroom. “Rest until suppertime. I know you must be exhausted. You’ll find water for bathing in a pitcher. Do you need me to help you?”

  Fierce pride demanded that Ryder face this affliction alone, asking for and accepting no help. If he was to live the rest of his life in the world of shadows, then he had to learn to adjust to his circumstances. ‘1 can manage.” The door opened and he walked inside.

  Hannah lay across the bed, where she had thrown herself after Ryder had refused to acknowledge her presence. Did he still distrust her? She heard the door open and close and was shocked to see Ryder standing just inside the room. She scooted to her knees, watching him warily. Alarm shuddered through her. She saw him take two faltering steps into the room, then stop abruptly, still refusing to acknowledge her.

  Ryder knew he wasn’t alone after he’d been inside the room ten seconds. His nostrils quivered with the heady scent of woman. His eyes might not see her, but his keen perception told him that she was here. He recalled with fierce longing the fiery brilliance of her hair, the pert tilt of her breasts, the tiny waist, and that soft woman’s place where he’d found the kind of rapture he’d never known existed.

  “Ryder?” Her voice quivered with nervous anticipation. He heard and turned in the direction of her voice. Hannah sucked in a ragged breath. He appeared to be looking right through her, his expression blank and unreadable.

  “Hannah. I didn’t know this was your room. Zach must have made a mistake,” Knowing Zach, he suspected his brother-in-law knew exactly what he was doing.

  With slow precision Ryder walked toward Hannah, guided by the sound of her voice. When his knees hit the side of the bed he stopped and perched gingerly on the edge.

  “Where have you been, Ryder?”

  “On a vision quest.”

  “I expected you to come back. Weren’t you interested in what happened to me?”

  Ryder seemed to look beyond her. “You made it quite obvious that you wanted nothing more to do with me.”

  “I don’t blame you for leaving. At the time it was what I wanted, what needed to be done, but I had a reason.”

  “I know the reason,” Ryder said with bitter emphasis. What if he was wrong? What if Hannah really did have a reason? Was Heammawihio punishing him for his inflexible pride? Unfortunately, he couldn’t stop the bitter accusations dripping from his tongue. “The blue coat could give you more than I could and you took him for your lover. Deny it all you want, Little Sparrow, but you were mine first and will always be mine, even if. ..”

  “Even if what?”

  Refusing to look into her eyes, Ryder merely shook his head.

  “Why won’t you look at me, Ryder? Do you hate me so much? I can explain.” For her sake and that of their child, she had to make him understand that she had lied for a reason.

  “It’s too late. All the explanations in the world won’t help us now.”

  Angered by his refusal to look at her, Hannah seized his face and turned it toward her. His silver eyes, usually so expressive, were blank, and a hint of something dark and sinister shuddered through her. She began to understand and prayed she was wrong. Her voice grew panicky. “Look at me, Ryder. Please look at me.”

  “I cannot. I am blind.”

  “No! It can’t be. How did it happen? Tell me it’s not true.”

  Ryder turned away. “I do not wish to speak of it. Tell me instead what happened after the sheriff arrived the night Harley was killed.”

  Needing the time to compose her thoughts and become accustomed to the shocking notion that Ryder was blind, Hannah told him everything that had transpired up to the time Zach had walked into the inn and inadvertently become involved in her problems.

  “I do not understand. Why didn’t you want Gilmore to buy your articles of indenture? Since he is already your lover I see no reason for involving Zach in all this.”

  Tears turned Hannah’s green eyes into shimmering pools. Now that the two of them were safely ensconced in the bosom of Ryder’s family, she no longer saw a need to lie. Trent Gilmore was in Denver; what could he do to Ryder now?

  “Lieutenant Gilmore was never my lover, Ryder. I lied. I did it to keep him from arresting you and sending you to prison. He said he had irrefutable proof that you rode with Sioux renegades. He wanted to become my lover, but thank God it never came to that. I told you we were lovers so he would leave you alone.”

  “Perhaps you should have taken him for a lover.” Hannah stared at him. He no longer sounded like the Ryder she knew. This Ryder seemed to have no7 heart, no spirit.

  “You are the only man I want. We can be together now.” She reached out to place a palm against his bronzed chest. She felt the erratic beat of his heart, felt the ripple of his corded muscles beneath his flesh, felt the heat and strength of his body, and longed to experience once again the depth of his passion.

  Ryder sucked in a ragged breath, recoiling from her touch. He closed his eyes and moaned, feeling the violent surge of his manhood beneath his breechclout and knowing that he was being tested. He had lost the right to take Hannah as he ached to do. He should have realized she had lied about loving the blue coat. He didn’t deserve Hannah’s love. Without eyes fie wasn’t a whole man. Not until Heammawihio gave him back his sight would he touch her. It was his punishment for failing the woman he loved. He had no idea what the Great Spirit wanted of him, but he would know when the time came.

  “Ryder, don’t pull away from me. Don’t you understand? I love you. I want no one but you. There is nothing now to keep us apart.”

  “You are wrong, Little Sparrow. I am not worthy of your love. I should have known you would not be false to me, but my pride blinded me. This is Heammawihio’s way of telling me that pride is a good thing, but love and trust are more important. I failed you.”

  “Just tell me you love me, Ryder, and nothing else matters. I will be your eyes.”

  Ryder shook his head sadly. “It is not the right time.”

  Hannah’s Irish temper flared. “When is the right time?”

  “I will know when it arrives.”

  “What if I’m not here when you decide it’s time for us to be together? Perhaps I won’t wait for that day to arrive.”

  “I will find you.”‘

  “Ryder, this is ridiculous.” She could tell by the stubborn set of his jaw that her words did not influence him. His belief in Indian superstition and lore was too strong. He thought he was being punished, and nothing would change his mind. Because he was blind he considered himself unworthy of her love.

  What about their baby? she wondered dimly. How could she burden him with a child while his mood was so negative? She couldn’t. Telling him he was going to be a father would drive him even further into depression. She’d just have to wait, and hope, and pray.

  “What are you going to do? What am I going to do?”

  Ryder turned his face in her direction. “You will remain here with Zach and Abby. I will return to the Black Hills.”

  “You will join Red Cloud?”

  “I am of no use to the People as I am. I will remain in the hills until I learn what it is Heammawihio wants of me.”

  “No! You can’t leave, not when we have found each other again. I won’t let you go.”

  She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close, until his arms opened to bring her tightly against his chest. She pressed her lips to his and opened her mouth, inviting his tongue. She felt th
e hard rise of his manhood against her stomach and tilted her hips until he fit snugly against her soft, aching core.

  Ryder groaned, grasping her face between his palms and thrusting his tongue into her mouth. She tasted sweet, sweeter than honey. His hips jerked forward, and his solid length slid effortlessly into the heated hollow between her thighs. Moaning her need into his mouth, Hannah pulled him atop her, bending her knees to cradle his hips between her thighs. Her dress slid upward around her waist, giving him ample access to her secret treasure. She waited breathlessly for the hot thrust of his manhood inside her.

  Lost in a haze of need, Ryder nearly forgot all the values he’d been taught by his Cheyenne father. He had practiced restraint for many years before the Great Spirit brought Hannah McLin into his life, and he could do so again. With an effort that nearly cost him his sanity, he pulled from her embrace, panting to gain control of his senses.

  Disappointment surged through Hannah. Had she lost Ryder forever? What if he never regained his sight? What would happen to her and their baby if he left and never came back? “Don’t leave me, Ryder, please. I want you.” How could he reject her after she’d bared her soul to him?

  “I have no right to touch you. Not until I know Heammawihio’s plan for me.”

  “Why do you think your God is angry with you?” She was growing angry now.

  “He took away my sight.”

  “Then go! Do what you must; I won’t stop you.” She flung away from him. Why must he be so damn stubborn?

  Flouncing from the bed, Hannah left the room, slamming the door behind her.