Wind Rider

by Connie Mason

  “I love you, Little Sparrow.” His words echoed hollowly in the empty room.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “I really need your help, Ryder,” Zach said earnestly as he and Ryder walked toward the barn. “I want to take Abby and the baby back East to meet my family, and I need someone to look after things on the farm. I have a good man in the freighting office in Denver, but no one to keep an eye on the farm and the several hundred head of cattle I run on my land. In addition to the original homestead, I bought several parcels of land adjoining mine when they became available.”

  I cannot keep an eye on things if I do not have two good eyes,” Ryder reminded him.

  “You and Hannah will do just fine here in our absence. I know you will. In payment I’ll deed to you several hundred acres fronting the river that I don’t use. One day you and Hannah can build your own home on the land. I haven’t been home for a visit in years/’

  They had reached the barn now, and Zach placed a hand on Ryder’s shoulder, guiding him through the door. “What you ask is impossible, Zach. You need a man who is whole to oversee your interests. I will not be staying on with you and Abby.”

  “What! What about Hannah? For God’s sake, man, she loves you. I don’t know what it is with you two, but I’m sure it can be worked out. You remind me of Abby and me not too long ago. How foolish we were to battle each other when all the time we loved one another desperately.” He shook his head. “So much time wasted. Learn from me, my friend.”

  Ryder sensed that Zach had stopped walking and halted beside him. Ryder’s keen sense of smell told him they were inside the barn. His nostrils twitched with the pungent odor of horse and straw and leather. He heard Zach moving around behind him and turned his head in Zach’s direction. Shock shuddered through him when he found himself staring at a bright light.

  “I just lit the lantern, Ryder,” Zach explained when he saw Ryder swivel in his direction. “It’s pretty murky in here.”

  Unable to speak, Ryder watched in growing excitement as the light wavered back and forth. He heard the crunch of Zach’s footsteps and realized that he was moving away, carrying the light with him. And then, miracle of miracles, he made out a shadow; nothing definite, but it had been more than he’d been able to see in days. Unfortunately, this miracle was of short duration. A black mist slowly drifted before his eyes, bringing darkness with it.

  “No!” The single word was a harsh cry of anguish, raw and wretched.

  “Ryder, what is it?”

  Ryder heard Zach hurrying to rejoin him and he strained forward, searching for the light, but it did not reappear. Ryder was left wallowing in a black void. What did it mean? Was Heammawihio trying to convey a message to him?

  “Nothing. It is nothing.” Ryder thought it made little sense to tell Zach about something that he might have imagined.

  “I heard you cry out.”

  “It is nothing, I tell you.”

  Shrugging his shoulders, Zach didn’t try to pry further into Ryder’s secret thoughts. Obviously, Ryder preferred not to talk about the demons driving him. “Come on; let’s get out of here. You need to get on a horse and ride until the cobwebs clear from your head. And while we’re riding, I want you to think seriously about staying on here while I take Abby and the baby back East.”

  “I will think about it, but I will not change my mind. Soon I will leave and go into the hills. I hope you will provide Hannah with a home for as long as she wants one.”

  “Do you think that’s fair to Hannah?”

  “What is fair? Is it fair for her to tie herself to a blind man? Is it fair that Indians are being driven to reservations? Is it fair that whites despise me because I was raised by the Cheyenne? No, brother-in-law, nothing in life is fair. I am thinking of Hannah and what is best for her. If the Great Spirit restores my sight one day, I will return.”

  If there were answers to Ryder’s questions, Zach did not have them.

  Hannah paused in the yard as she watched Ryder and Zach mount their horses and ride away. She knew Zach was trying his best to help Ryder and she appreciated his efforts, but her heart told her that Ryder’s problems were vast and complex. She’d lived with the Indians long enough to understand their deep-rooted, mystical belief in spiritual signs and visions. If Ryder believed he was being punished, nothing short of a miracle would dissuade him. The simple explanation that he had stared too long into the sun was not acceptable to him. Like Zach and Abby, Hannah believed Ryder’s sight would return in time, but convincing him of that was impossible. And now he was dead set on leaving.

  Hannah had no idea where Ryder had slept these past few nights; she only knew it wasn’t with her. Didn’t he know she needed him? Her body ached with the need to feel his arms around her, his mouth on hers, his body claiming hers in all the wonderful ways he had taught her. Their baby needed him. Hannah’s hand flew protectively to her stomach, wondering what would become of her and her child if Ryder left them. Sighing regretfully, Hannah turned back toward the house. Before she reached the back door she had arrived at a decision. For the sake of her child, she had to try one last time to change Ryder’s mind about leaving.

  Later that day, while talking with Abby, Hannah learned that Ryder had been sleeping in the barn. Abby knew that Ryder intended to leave very soon, and she was both saddened and angered. Why did her brother have to be so stubborn? She had no idea how to heal the rift between Hannah and Ryder, but she did know that they loved one another desperately.

  “Sometimes a woman must take matters into her own hands,” Abby hinted sagely. “Sometimes men are so obstinate, they fail to see what is right before their faces. And in Ryder’s case he cannot see at all, so it is up to you to tell him.”

  Hannah stared at her consideringly. “Ryder already knows I love him.”

  Abby smiled. “I’m sure he does, but it’s always good to remind him. If you let him go away without trying to convince him to stay, you may live to regret it.”

  “I want Ryder to remain because he loves me. He thinks because he’s blind he’s no good for me. His damn Indian pride is coming between us.”

  “It’s up to you to convince him otherwise, Hannah, but I’d think carefully about letting him walk out of my life. We’re about the same age, and I think of you as my own sister. If Sierra is still alive, I’d give the same advice to her.”

  “Ryder spoke of his little sister. Do you know what happened to her?”

  Abby’s silver eyes dimmed. “Zach checked the army records and learned that Sierra was picked up by a family and taken West. Until that time I had no idea that Sierra had survived the Crow attack.”

  “Do you know the family’s name?”

  “The records were fifteen years old and the writing was faded and difficult to read, but we think the name was either Alden or Adler. Zach has hired a man to check into it, but so far he’s been unable to locate Sierra.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I have a feeling Sierra is happy wherever she is. Meanwhile, concentrate on Ryder and what you must do to stay together.”

  That night Hannah mulled over Abby’s words. The house was quiet. Everyone had retired for the evening, and Hannah hoped they were sleeping. The longer she thought about Ryder riding away, perhaps never to return, the more she realized she couldn’t let him do it. The Irish in her made her just stubborn enough to fight for what she wanted.

  Hannah left her bed and tiptoed to the door. She heard nothing but chirping crickets and night birds singing their sad songs. The door swung open on silent hinges, and she stepped out into the hallway. Dressed in a thin shift, Hannah’s bare feet moved silently down the hallway and out of the house. A full moon lit the path to the barn. The door was open. It was pitch black inside. Since she had no idea where to find Ryder in the cavernous interior of the barn, she called his name softly.

  Ryder was caught in the midst of a vividly carnal dream. In his dream his eyes were no longer sightless and he was making tender
love to Hannah. At the height of her pleasure he heard her whisper his name and groaned wordlessly in reply. Hannah heard and moved unerringly in the direction of his voice. Slowly and carefully, she made her way through the dark barn. When Ryder groaned a second time Hannah, her eyes having adjusted to the darkness, found him lying on a bed of fragrant straw. A half smile curved her lips as she pulled off her shift and lay down beside him. Instantly, his arms came around her.

  “Oh, Ryder,” she whispered against his ear. “I’ve missed you so. Love me. Please love me.”

  Ryder turned to cover Hannah’s mouth with his. If he couldn’t have Hannah in the flesh, he could at least have her in his dreams. In his dreams he was not blind. He was whole, and strong, and hungry to taste Hannah’s sweetness again. Blood swelled his manhood, bringing it to full erection. When Hannah’s mouth opened beneath his he thrust his tongue inside, the sweet taste of her driving him into a passionate frenzy. He wanted to push himself into her immediately, feel her tight heat surround him, but he restrained himself, unwilling to bring his dream to an abrupt end. Instead, he slipped his hand between her legs, his fingers seeking her slick, wet heat. He was rewarded by Hannah’s sharp inhalation of breath.

  He deepened the kiss, his fingers teasing the tender bud hidden between her thighs. He felt it swell beneath his fingertips and rejoiced that he could bring the woman of his dreams pleasure. The searing ache in his loins built to such intensity that his face contorted in pain. From a far-off distance he heard her cries of rapture, and his fingers delved deeper inside her. She whimpered and began tossing beneath him, her hips thrusting upward, impaling herself more deeply.

  “Ryder, please.”

  Ryder almost laughed aloud as he felt her incredibly tight, searing heat gripping his fingers, and her body stiffen. He felt her climax wash over her in wave after wave of rapture as his fingers continued the rhythm and his mouth pulled at her nipples, until she had no more to give. Then he rose above her, desperately eager to join their bodies. This was one dream that would not elude him. Flexing his hips, he thrust into her, driving himself so deep, Hannah gasped and clung to his neck.

  The breath jammed in his chest as pure sensation overwhelmed him. No dream had ever felt so real.

  Pumping his hips furiously, panting, groaning, Ryder wasn’t certain when he realized that he wasn’t dreaming, that he held a flesh-and-blood woman in his arms. A woman hot for him, needing him, whimpering and panting as loudly as he was. He felt her muscles contract around him, heard her call out his name, felt the scorching heat of her body, and spewed forth his passion into her receptive body. Drained, he lay like one dead; indeed, he had experienced a kind of death in Hannah’s arms. But after a few minutes he began to stir, rolling over and carrying her with him until she was lying on top of him, their bodies still fused, his erection still potent despite his violent climax.

  “I love you, Ryder,” Hannah said once she had caught her breath. “I swear if you leave me now, I’ll never forgive you.”

  “You made me break my vow, Little Sparrow. You knew how I felt. Why did you come to me? Why do you torment me?”

  “You could have sent me away instead of making love to me.”

  “I did not think you were real. Night and day you are in my mind. If I couldn’t have you in person, I would have you in my dreams.”

  “Since you’ve already broken your vow, there is no need for you to leave,” Hannah said smugly.

  If it hadn’t been so dark in the barn, Hannah would have seen Ryder’s face contort into a grimace of pain. “Hannah, we’ve already had this discussion.”

  Hannah wasn’t willing to accept his answer. Still joined, she moved her hips experimentally, reassured when she felt him throbbing against the walls of her tight passage, growing larger inside her. “If you are so sure about your decision, I dare you to leave my body, to tell me you don’t want me again.” She sat up and straddled him, sliding her thighs down hard on his. His strangled groan was all the answer she needed.

  “You are a witch,” Ryder gasped as he grasped her buttocks and moved her up and down the length of his erection. “And I have no will where you are concerned. It would take a stronger man than I to leave you right now. I will gladly suffer Heammawihio’s wrath for this moment with you.”

  Her ripe breasts dangled within his reach and he raised his head to suckle the tender fruits, certain that paradise had never tasted so sweet. She rode him wildly, gripping him with her knees, fearing he’d leave her if she relaxed her hold. Then her thoughts left her head as rapture exploded inside her, consuming her body with wracking shudders. Ryder gave a great shout and followed her down pleasure’s path.

  Collapsing atop his powerful chest, Hannah allowed herself to drift peacefully for a time, forgetting everything but the man she loved and his child, carried safe inside her. She offered token protest when Ryder lifted her from him and nestled her in the curve of his body, curling himself around her.

  “So much for my resolve,” he said in self-derision.

  Hannah smiled inwardly. “You didn’t have much of a chance. I was pretty determined, you know. I love you, Ryder,” She briefly considered telling him about the baby, but she decided she wanted him to remain for her sake, not because of their child.

  Ryder went still. Then his arms slackened and he turned away from her. Wrenching pain shot through Hannah. She felt as if she’d been punched in the stomach. Her arms went protectively around her middle, her head rolled from side to side, and she moaned. The terrible ache of rejection nearly tore her apart. Ryder didn’t want her. A sob gathered in her throat and pushed past her lips. Ryder heard and turned back to gather her into his arms.

  “Why now, Little Sparrow? Why has the Great Spirit stolen my sight so that I cannot take care of you properly? I am no longer a whole man. My sight is gone; I am helpless without eyes.”

  “You are a brave man who fears no one. You are a fearless warrior. Nothing else matters.”

  “It matters to me.”

  “Are you saying you don’t want me?”

  She felt his muscles tense and was heartened. “No, Little Sparrow, I will always want you. I want to see your face when I make love to you. I want to see Grandfather Sun rise in the morning and set at night. I want to hunt the bounty provided by Mother Earth. Is that asking too much?”

  Tears gathered in Hannah’s eyes. “You will have all of those things, Ryder. You’ll have your sight again. You will!” She said it with such fierce conviction, such resolute assurance, that Ryder wanted to believe her. If she had so much faith, how could he doubt?

  “If my sight never returns, I will be fortunate to have been loved by you.”

  “Then you won’t leave?”

  “I must. I will go into the hills and pray to Heammawihio to restore my sight. If it is restored to me, I will return.”

  Hannah dared to breathe again. She truly felt his sight would return. But the one thing she wanted to hear from Ryder still remained locked within his heart. He hadn’t said he loved her.

  “You must be exhausted. Go back to the house, Hannah. I will see you in the morning.”

  “No. I hate lying in that bed alone. I’d much rather share this bed of straw with you.”

  “Then sleep, Little Sparrow. I will hold you all night so you do not get cold. Until I leave, we will share the same bed. I’m sure my meddling sister and brother-in-law will be pleased.”

  “I’m sure they will,” Hannah concurred, hiding a smile. Abby had been right in advising her to go to Ryder. Soon his sight would return—she was certain of it—and then she would tell him about the baby. They’d be a real family. She knew Zach had offered Ryder a job and land, and her dream of living in peace with Ryder in their own house was within her grasp.

  Hannah fell asleep thinking happy thoughts while Ryder dwelled on his dark future. A future without eyes, without the means to support a wife or family, without a notion in which world he truly belonged.

  Hannah stretched luxu
riously, aware of warmth and happiness and contentment. The straw beneath her crackled and, abruptly, she recalled where she was and why. She had swallowed her pride and gone to Ryder last night. They had made love more than once, and afterward they had slept entwined in each other’s arms.

  “It’s about time you woke up.”

  “Ryder.” She gave him a foolish grin, but it faded the moment she realized he couldn’t see her. “Is it morning already?”

  “I can’t really see it, but I sense daylight. My senses have grown keener since I lost my sight.”

  Snuggling into the warmth of his body, Hannah was loathe to rise. But she knew she must before Zach came to the barn to start the chores. Sunshine pierced through the open door, bathing them in blazing light, and Hannah stifled a giggle when she thought of what Zach would think if he stumbled upon them lying naked upon the straw.

  Lost in their own happiness, they didn’t hear riders enter the yard. And since the barn was set some distance back from the house, they didn’t see Zach arguing with his early-morning visitors in an effort to convince them to leave.

  “I tell you he’s not in the house,” Zach insisted.

  “Where is he? You might as well tell me; I’ll find him sooner or later anyway.”

  Unaware that they had visitors, Abby came into the room, carrying a howling baby who demanded his breakfast most boisterously. “Is that Ryder you’re talking to, Zach? Has he come in from the barn already? Breakfast will be ready just as soon as I feed your son.” The words died in her throat and her smile faded when she saw Lieutenant Gilmore standing in the doorway, talking to Zach.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Mercer,” Gilmore said, tipping his hat. “To the barn, men.”

  Abby clutched Zach’s arm. “What is it, Zach? What do they want?”

  A nerve twitched in Zach’s jaw. “They want Ryder.”

  “Dear God! Why?”

  “I don’t know yet, but I aim to find out.” He took off for the barn at a run.

  “Wait for me!” Clutching the baby to her breast, Abby followed close on his heels.