Freedom

by Mary Crawford

  As awkward as it is, these noise canceling headphones are keeping me relatively sane. It helps that it’s crazy early and there aren’t a lot of people at the airport. My heart is racing a little and my hands are sweaty, but I’m coping pretty well considering this is the first time I’ve set foot in an airport.

  A message from Zoe pops up. “You okay? You’re falling behind. If you keep this up, I'll be the undisputed champion of Candy Crush.”

  “I’m fine, just a little nervous.”

  “You want to go to the gift store and get a book?”

  “No, I’ll be okay.”

  “Are you sure? We’ve got a while to wait. Besides, you should buy some gum.”

  “Why?” I type.

  “You know when you drive in the mountains and your ears pop? It’s worse on a plane.”

  I nod as I put my tablet in my backpack. As I stand up, I hold my hand out for her. She takes it and we walk down the airport concourse as if we’re a normal couple. I guess from the outside people can’t see my stress level. To me, it feels like I’m wearing a neon sign.

  We walk by a store and Zoe looks in the window. She pulls my headphone can off my right ear and says, “Look! Hand dipped caramel apples! Ooh … they have some with chocolate and nuts. Let’s go in!”

  Reluctantly, I follow her in to the crowded store. She stops by the candy aisle and picks up a pack of gum and then leads me to a glass case with several kinds of apples on sticks. I see one covered in cinnamon candy and I smile. I haven’t seen one of those since I was a kid.

  “You’re right. These look great. What kind do you want?”

  “Today seems like a dark chocolate and pecan day,” she replies as she points to a tray of apples.

  The lady behind the counter smiles at me as she asks, “What kind do you want, son?”

  “We would like a cinnamon covered apple and one with nuts and dark chocolate, please.”

  She hands the apples over the counter. As she rings up our purchases, she says to Zoe, “Make sure you grab plenty of napkins, honey. These are delicious but messy. The two of you are so cute I’d hate to see you get all sticky.”

  Zoe blushes. “Thanks, I’ll be sure to get some.”

  After we leave the store, Zoe motions me to follow her. We walked to an empty gate where there are no passengers.

  I remove my headphones since it’s relatively quiet here. “Are you lost? This isn’t our gate,” I warn.

  Zoe shrugs. “I know. I figured you’d enjoy the peace. The food court can be noisy.” She reaches in her jacket pocket and pulls out a stack of napkins. “Okay, let the party begin. In my mind, these are even better than an ice cream sundae. I didn’t think I would find anything to smile about today. I was wrong. Caramel apples always make me smile. They remind me of when I was a kid and used to go over to my neighbor’s house. My mom has never been much of a cook. Usually, she hires other people to do that for us. So, it was a real treat for me when my neighbor lady would help me make caramel apples for Halloween. I looked forward to it every year.”

  “What happened? Did she move away?”

  I watch as Zoe fights back tears. “No, unfortunately, she was killed in a house fire when I was younger.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say as I wipe away a tear rolling down her cheek.

  “It was a long time ago. Even so, I can’t stop thinking about fire. What if my brother is as crazy as everyone seems to think he is? What if he sets Hope’s Haven on fire while Tristan sends me on ‘vacation’? I could never live with myself if something happened to Jessica, Mitch and their daughter.”

  “I work on the software side of Identity Bank — but, I worked on some projects with Tristan for the security side of the business. The man is meticulous. If he said he will step up protection for Hope’s Haven, he will. In spades. In fact, he and Isaac are probably planning to take turns personally watching your facility. That’s just the kind of guys they are.”

  Zoe hangs her head. “I know you meant for that to be a comforting thought, but in some ways it makes it worse because it puts even more friends at risk. I shouldn’t be the one who gets to escape all this.”

  “I know how Tristan would view this. He would say that if you’re not here, it’s one less thing he has to keep an eye on.”

  “I know that in my head, but my heart says I should stay behind and protect my friends,” Zoe counters.

  “You said you were friends with your brother’s ex fiancé, right?” I ask.

  Zoe looks a little puzzled by my question. “Yeah, I think Katelyn is awesome.”

  “I know you felt bad when she was here to testify and you guys couldn’t meet up. So, why don’t you get together when we arrive in Oregon? Maybe you guys could go out to lunch or something.”

  Zoe smiles wistfully. “That would be fun. I hope she’s not angry at me for all the stuff Vinnie has put her through.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “I don’t see any reason why she should be. Your brother treated her like dirt — you didn’t.”

  “I guess you’re right. But, I still feel awful about the whole thing. I think it’s bizarre that I’m taking responsibility for what Vinnie did, but he’s not. There’s something really wrong with that picture.”

  “Zoe, listen to me. There is something wrong about that. You don’t need to feel guilty for what he did. I bet Katelyn doesn’t hold you responsible for the fact that your brother is a jerk.”

  A staticky voice comes over the intercom and pages passengers for our flight. I draw in a deep breath. Zoe tosses what’s left of her apple into a nearby garbage can. When she comes back to my seat, she pulls me up to a standing position by grabbing both of my hands. She squeezes them and asks, “Are you ready for your next adventure Mr. Wolf?”

  I take the package of gum out of the sack and place it in my pocket. “I guess I’m as ready as I will ever be,” I answer as I try not to sound fatalistic.

  I startle awake and glance down to see Zoe curled up against my side. True to her word, she hasn’t let go of my hand, even in her sleep. Never in a million years did I think it would be possible for me to fall asleep on the plane. Zoe downloaded some “brain calming” music as she calls it.

  Between the music, my noise canceling headphones and my chronic sleeplessness since the trial started, I didn’t stand a chance. Of course, it didn’t hurt anything that Tristan purchased us first-class tickets. I check on Bruiser and find him sprawled half under the airline seats. He seems totally unfazed by his first plane ride. Then again, I seem pretty unscathed as well. I could get used to this kind of travel. No wonder Tristan gushes about his private plane. I get it now.

  Zoe wakes up and stretches. She bops me in the nose mid-stretch. “Oh sorry, how long have we been flying? I’m sorry I didn’t stay awake to entertain you. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until I got into these comfy seats. I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

  I kiss the hand which hit my nose. “It’s okay. I fell asleep too.” I pull my cell phone out of my jacket pocket and took the time. “Wow! We’ve been flying for about five hours since we left and stopped for the layover in Atlanta.”

  “Really? We’re not very far from Portland. That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you.”

  “Don’t be. I was a nervous wreck when we landed in Atlanta.”

  “I think everyone is a little unnerved on takeoff and landing. It just makes you normal. You are handling all of this remarkably well. I wasn’t nearly as calm as you’ve been on my first flight.”

  “I don’t know how much credit I can take for that. Most of the things which are making this easier for me were your ideas. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t with me. You are a great travel companion.”

  Zoe picks up her glass of 7-Up and toasts me. “Here’s to a lifetime of successful travel. Where should we go next?”

  I grab my bottle of water and toast her. “Here’s to having a phenomenal travel partner.”

  She smiles at me. “Seriously?
Where would you want to go if you could travel anywhere?”

  “I honestly don’t know. I haven’t thought about it much because it just wasn’t an option. I’ll let you know when I figure something out, okay?”

  My fingernails have left crescent shaped impressions in my palms. Unfortunately, the landing was not as smooth when we arrived in Portland. I hesitate to think about the damage I’ve done to Zoe’s hand and arm. If I hurt her when we landed, she hasn’t said anything. Mercifully, Bruiser slept through the whole experience.

  As we stand in front of the baggage carousel, all I can think about is leaving the airport. There was a mechanical failure of the device so, now people are crowding around me as we wait for the luggage to finally show up. I shove my paperwork in Zoe’s direction as people start to swarm in my personal space. “I’m sorry. I know I should stay to carry the bags, but I have to get out of here,” I croak in a panicked voice.

  “It’s all right. I’ve flown alone many times. Bruiser probably needs to take care of his business anyway. I’ll meet you by the benches located near the front door.” She holds up her cell phone. “If you get lost, just send me a text. I’ll find you guys.”

  I nodded tightly. “Okay.” Bruiser can sense my distress. I don’t know if Zoe taught him this, but he has taken to placing his foot over mine when I’m stressed out and I am on the verge of a meltdown. I roll my shoulders to relieve the tension and reach down to stroke Bruiser’s ears.

  Someone who smells strongly of cigarette smoke and cheap cologne backs into us as he muscles a huge case off the baggage carousel. My knees buckle for second as I’m overwhelmed by the sensory affront. The guy turns around and gives me a dirty look. I’m about to say something to him when Bruiser leans his body weight against my leg. I take a deep breath and blow it out as I try to focus on my dog rather than my panic. I have more important things to do right now.

  Zoe notices my unease. “It’s all right. Bruiser has you covered. I’ll be right behind you as soon as our luggage appears.”

  I feel like I did when I was a kid and my dad lost sight of me in a corn maze at Halloween. My palms are sweaty and my heart is racing.

  Bruiser noses my hand as if to remind me of what’s important. “All right, buddy. Let’s go for a walk.” As soon as I say the word, Bruiser perks up and starts to wag his tail. I swear he just smiled at me.

  Zoe skillfully pulls the Lexus into a parking spot in front of the hotel. I have to give Tristan credit, he rented a far nicer car for us than I would’ve chosen. Much to the rental agent’s credit, she didn’t even bat an eyelash when she saw Bruiser’s service vest. She just wished us a pleasant trip.

  “You know, when we got up in the middle of the night to take off today, I didn’t understand why we needed to leave so early. I figured Tristan was just trying to accommodate my autism. Now I see there was a reason for it.”

  Zoe rolls her neck and stretches. “Yeah, it’s a long flight. I’m so proud of you and Bruiser. You did a great job.”

  I scoff at her. “Yeah … right. Did you not notice I practically passed out at the airport?”

  “I did — but the point is you didn’t. You and Bruiser handled it like you guys have been partnered for years,” she counters.

  I flash her a wide grin. “True. We did survive it with flying colors. I’ll be honest, when you first told me that you could train Bruiser to help with my Asperger’s syndrome, I thought you were a little nuts. I’d never seen anything like that. But, having him around really does make a world of difference.”

  Zoe winks at me. “I noticed you were downright chatty with the flight attendant.”

  I shrug. “Who knew I would run into anyone who has the female version of Bruiser?”

  Zoe smirks. “It’s not like yellow labs are popular or anything,” she teases.

  “Touché. Even you have to admit Bruiser could be twins with her dog — right down to their crooked teeth.

  “Did you have a good time exchanging stories with her?” Zoe asks.

  I nod. “Surprisingly, I did. If you would’ve told me a couple months ago that I would be easily conversing with a person I’d never met without feeling like I need to crawl out of my skin, I would’ve thought you were crazy.”

  Zoe takes the keys out of the ignition and reaches over the back of our seats to pet Bruiser. “I’m so glad this has worked out for both of you.”

  This time, I am better equipped to handle the luggage as Zoe checks us in. For this solid-middle-classer, the opulence of the hotel is enough to take my breath away. After Zoe handles the paperwork, she walks up beside me and reaches for my hand. “Are you ready for another adventure?”

  I slide my arm around her waist and pull her closer to my side. “Bring it on — within reason of course,” I add with a chuckle.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  ZOE

  I SIGH AS I UNPACK my bags on one of the queen-size beds. It’s been an incredibly long day — but it’s been more successful than I could’ve ever dreamed. I usually don’t get to see the dogs I place in their natural working environment. Even though Bruiser and Phoenix are pretty green as a team, they’ve exceeded my every expectation.

  I glance over at Phoenix. He is pouring food into Bruiser’s dish. “I’m kind of hungry too. Do you want to go out to eat or do you want to binge on food we can find in the little market downstairs?”

  Phoenix looks toward me but his gaze doesn’t quite meet mine. “You mind if we skip the whole going out to eat thing? I’ve had about all I can handle today.” He appears vaguely guilty and disappointed.

  I shrug. “That sounds perfect to me. I’m exhausted too. Let me check — a hotel as nice as this must have room service.”

  “Okay. I hope they have hamburgers. You’ll probably laugh, but I eat my hamburgers dry. I don’t like anything on them.”

  “I’m not surprised. Would you like them to put your hamburger patty on a different plate?”

  Phoenix freezes in place for a moment. “That’s really what I’d like, but everyone will think I’m strange.”

  “No worries. I’ll just tell the kitchen I have dietary needs. They don’t need to know why. It’s none of their business.”

  Phoenix sinks down on the other queen-size bed. He looks like all of his bones have dissolved. I wasn’t closely watching him earlier because I was too busy messing with my stuff and getting it organized. I feel awful that I haven’t noticed he looks positively wrecked. Bruiser leaves his bowl and hops up on the bed beside Phoenix.

  Phoenix scrubs his hands down his face and then shakes out his hands as if he’s trying to relieve stress. “You don’t have to do that for me. We’ll be staying here for a while. They don’t need to think we’re both strange.”

  I pull my hair up and tie it in a loose knot on my head, exposing the purple stripe on the underside of my hair. “Does it really look like I care what people think about me. I simply don’t. Besides, who’s to say these people haven’t seen the news coverage. One of my friends called to say she saw me on a network news station. Of course, they had to be filming on the day I was being cross-examined. I looked like death warmed over. Anyway, people will say whatever they want. I can’t stop them. Eating your hamburger the way you like it is not a big deal.”

  Phoenix sinks back against the pillows. “Do whatever you want. I can’t deal with life today. I’m done.”

  “How about if we’re both weird? I’ll order yours plated separately and mine on lettuce instead of bread. Money is money and if they don’t want to customize burgers, they shouldn’t have the option on their menu.”

  Phoenix yawns. “Go for it,” he mumbles before he shuts his eyes. Bruiser licks his hand and gives me an odd look before he places his head on Phoenix’s chest.

  I resume hanging my clothes up in the closet and putting them away in the dresser. The next time I look over at Phoenix, he is sound asleep. I guess not everything happens the way it does in romance movies.

  I stop what I’m doing
and place my hands on Phoenix’s shoulders as I instruct, “I know you’re anxious, but hold still or I’ll never get this right.

  “You really think it’s a good idea for me to wear a suit? I mean I don’t know how Jameson plans to run this branch of Identity Bank, but the Florida office is downright casual — especially for those of us who are in the programming division. Of course, the guys on the security side of the business dress nicer than us. Still, don’t you think this is overkill?”

  I have to fight to hide my smile. I think that’s the most words I’ve ever heard Phoenix utter in a row. “Relax, you’ll be fine. You look amazing and smell even better.”

  I finish tying a knot in his tie. I stand up on my tiptoes and brush a kiss across his lips. “You’ll do great. Tristan wants you here, remember?”

  “I know. Do you think it looks like I'm trying too hard? What do I do with this?” he asks running his fingers through his long hair.

  “What do you want to do with it?”

  He looks at me with pleading eyes. “I don’t know. I’ve spent so much time thinking about how to present myself that I’m not even sure.”

  “As much as I like it down, it might look more corporate if we did something else to it.”

  “I don’t want to get it cut,” Phoenix says with an edge of panic in his voice. “I’m growing it out for little kids who need wigs.”

  I run my fingers through his hair. “I’ll miss it when it’s gone, but it’s for such a great cause — so I guess that’ll be okay. I wasn’t expecting you to cut your hair today, I just need to know how you wanted me to get it out of your face for the interview?”

  Phoenix throws his arms up in the air. “I don’t really know.”

  I hug him lightly before I ask, “Trust me?”