Straight from the Heart

by Breigh Forstner

  “It gets worse, Bryn. We do get protection so none of us end up deaf.” He pulled a bag of ear plugs from his pocket and gave it to me. “Here, for tomorrows show so I don’t have to hear you complain. Sorry I forgot to mention it earlier.”

  “Hey Schaefler, you were brilliant!” Vince came from behind me and hugged me, interrupting Cale. “That dual stuff worked out flawless, not to mention you looked hot.”

  Cale shoved Vince away humorously and he landed against the tour bus. “Enough interrogating Bryn, dude.” He shooed Vince off, leaving us alone again. “So are you ready to have even more fun?”

  I raised my eyebrows in question. “What’d you have in mind?”

  “Ha. Well, only just a big party to celebrate our first show. No big deal.” No big deal. Which meant more drinking, and whatever these people did after they were done with their sets.

  “Do you ever sleep, Pelton?” I asked him. He blew a piece of sweaty hair out of his face and held out his hand.

  “Hell no. Not unless you are willing to escort me.” I slapped him on the chest playfully. This guy kept trying every chance he could to get me to go to bed with him. I had to keep telling myself not to give in, but dang…it was hard not to.

  “Not a chance, Cale.”

  He chuckled. “At least I asked!” Then he brought his lips down near mine, now speaking in a dull whisper. “Next time I’ll get you so drunk you pass out naked in my bed.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, not giving him any more opportunity to scope out my bulging cleavage. “Cocky much?” I asked him.

  He bent down to kiss the corner of my mouth, immediately pulling away. “You love it, B.”

  “In your dreams, lover boy.” I whispered back and hurried onto the bus so I could get out of these clothes. While I was taking a breather I could hear the fellow tour mates close by, shouting obscenities and glass breaking, and it wasn’t even midnight yet. I pulled out my phone seeing I had a few missed texts from Gina and Bethany.

  Gina: BFF I haven’t heard from you! How’d your first gig go?

  Bethany: Bryneeee I miss you…

  Gina: I have dirt to dish, hun. You better call us or else I’ll come back and drag you to Cali…

  It was times like tonight where I wished Gina and Bethany were here with me celebrating. Before graduation, we had been the three musketeers ever since elementary school. Nothing came between us. Here I was sitting on a tour bus by myself, when I could be out there partying with the rest of my band mates and the people on the tour. Gina and Bethany would’ve loved it more than I would. I’d drank a little, I’d gone to parties courtesy of Ethan sneaking me out, but maybe it was because they were my comfort zone, and I needed to get out of my comfort zone and act crazy.

  “There she is.” Lucy spotted me from her tour bus, where everyone was gathered, and music was blaring. She put an arm around me, and yelled over the music “You put these other guys to shame, chica.” She had also changed out of her show outfit, into a pair of short shorts and ripped up tank top.

  “Thanks, Lucy, I really liked your set too.” I said truthfully. I had only heard of Ignite the Flames just a few weeks ago when Cale said that’s who was opening the tour, and I was already a big fan. She was like a wild animal on stage, thrashing the bass around like she was having amazing sex or something. But it worked; the crowd went nuts for them.

  “That shit? We only put it together in a few days, idiots over there were fighting over which songs to play because Pauly ‘Wanted to play his solo’,” She mimicked Pauly, one of the guitarists in Ignite the Flames. “So how is it working with them?”

  “They’re really good guys. It’s definitely a new experience but they’ve all been really supportive and made me feel welcome,” I told her, and she formed a look on her face, as if what I just said wasn’t possible.

  “Most of them. But Pelton, he’s a different story.” Lucy frowned, putting the cup she was holding to her lips. I tilted my head, signaling I wanted to know more, but she waved it off like it was no big deal. “Don’t worry. He can be a dick, trust me, but he’s a softie at heart. Just don’t let his cockiness fool you.”

  “Did you date him at all?”

  She giggled and stretched her arms behind her back. “Yeah. But it’s not something we talk about now. We had our music careers, and our own lives, to worry about.” Now I felt uncomfortable. From the way she explained their situation, it sounded like she still cared about him. “How about you? Did you leave a boyfriend behind at all?”

  Ethan. “Just broke up with a guy. It was hard, but we had different goals,” I lied. I never told anyone, especially my parents the real reason we broke up. That was our little secret.

  “Ahh, well, nothing like a nice heaping cup of alcohol to cure your misery.” Lucy handed me another cup that was sitting on a table. She filled hers up once more and we slammed our cups together. “Cheers, Schaefler, I’ll see you around.” Patting me on the back, she went over to talk with some of her bandmates.

  “Hey,” Damon Charming slurred from behind me. I whipped around and he had his signature cigarette in his mouth. I hated the smell of smoke; always have, especially when my dad would chain smoke in his parlor on a daily basis.

  My head felt woozy from the drinking so I put my hand on his shoulder so I wouldn’t fall over. “Hey yourself. Didya watch our set?” I enquired, my words slurring.

  “Yes I did. You were pretty sassy up there with that guitar, have you played long?” He questioned me, slipping an arm around my waist and kissing me on the top of the head.

  I shook my head “Not too long, only for a few years.” I nestled my head into Damon’s neck as I sipped on the last of the liquid goodness I had been enjoying almost all night. I told myself this would be the last drink, or else I knew I would have a hangover and being on the bumpy roads wouldn’t help my head. Choices, choices. “You should teach me how to move all over the stage like you were doing, it was sooo…”

  “Alright Bryn I think you need to go lie down, hun, that alcohol is making you say things you’ll regret,” Damon warned me and picked me up so my legs were dangling in the air and arms flailing.

  “Put me down!” I half shrieked and half laughed as Damon carried me off. I recognized the smell of Cale’s cologne and knew he had brought me back to my bus. “Why are you bringing me back here, I want to stay out and partyyyy…”

  He laughed and tightened his grip on my waist, directing his way back to the beds and climbing up the ladder to my bunk. “I figured we could spend time in here alone.” He spoke in a low growl. I didn’t think anything of it. All that was on my mind at the moment was I needed to close my eyes. Damon laid me down against my pillow as his mouth neared mine. “You are absolutely beautiful,” he whispered.

  “I, uh, I’m awfully sleepy,” I murmured, wiping my eyes and shielding my face. “Stay with me,” What was I thinking, inviting a near stranger to sleep in my bed? For all I knew he could take advantage of me in my sleep.

  Damon lay on his side facing me, and all I could smell was that ungodly smoke; that and the little bit of cologne in the air. He leaned down to me and quickly kissed me on the mouth, slowly pulling away, and then his lips were on mine again. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck as he slid his tongue into my mouth. His hands, slow and gentle, roamed from my neck, making their way down the sides of my waist, unbuttoning my shorts.

  “You want to do this?” He asked as he pulled his mouth away. I was barely conscious to realize what I was doing, but as I felt my shorts being pulled off of my legs, I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t give away my virginity to some gorgeous lead singer of a big time rock band we were opening up for just like that.

  I shook my head, grabbing my shorts and covering myself up. Where were the other boys when you needed them? Or Hal, I hadn’t seen him all night, where the Hell was he? “No, I can’t do this.” I snapped, trying to climb down the few steps of stairs, or jump from the bunk
, whatever was quickest.

  Damon laughed at my drunken attempt to get away from him. He gripped my arm before I could go any further. “Where are you going? We were just getting started…”

  I jerked my arm away from him hard enough to where I bumped my elbow into the wall and heard a crack. “Please go.”

  “First you say ‘stay with me.’ Then you turn around and say ‘Please go?’” He raised his voice, “I’m not missing out on this,” He tried to finish where he left off, and my first instinct was to scream.

  So I did. I screamed loud and long enough until my voice felt numb. I kneed him in the stomach and rolled off the bunk, falling onto my butt. I felt so stupid trying to run away from someone like this. Call it the alcohol, but I wasn’t going to be taken advantage of when I was drunk. I knew better than that, at least for now.

  Of course, as soon as I stood back up Damon had a hold of me again. “Leave me alone, I told you no,” I struggled with the words as he grabbed my hips tighter and pulled me against him. “STOP!” I screamed higher and louder with every fingernail that dug into my skin.

  “I should’ve known.” Damon joked as he whispered through his teeth. He was starting to move his fingers up from the bottom of my shirt when I heard the door to the bus slam open. I already knew who it was.

  Cale.

  “You muther fucker.” Cale pushed Damon, causing me to fall to the ground. He looked down at me with sympathetic eyes and growled “Stay up front, B, I’m going to take care of this idiot.” I nodded as I rose to my feet, holding onto the walls and making my way to the driver’s seat. Over the course of the next few minutes I heard an argument and punches were being thrown.

  “Is everything okay, Bryn?” Hal walked up, looking concerned and worried as I curled my knees up to my chest, trying not to cry. Once again. I blamed the alcohol. “I heard screaming and shouting coming from the bus, I wanted to make sure no one was hurt.”

  I pointed towards the back, where a bloodied up Damon stormed past us without a word, nearly bumping into Hal, who would’ve taken him down with one punch. Cale soon followed, his fist covered in red and his eyes filled with anger.

  “I think it’s about time we grab the rest of the group and go to a hotel, Pelton. You can’t afford to fight him.” Hal placed his stocky hands on Cale’s shoulders, “We have altercations like this and the word gets out about it, you lose your chance at a big time record deal. No more indie label.” He turned his attention over to me and looked at me apologetically. “Next time he tries to put his hands on you like that again, I have pepper spray in the glove compartment. Use it, you hear me?” I smiled slightly, trying to fight back tears.

  “I’ll go out and get everyone,” Cale suggested, but Hal stepped into his way.

  “No. You stay here and clean up, macho man. I’ll lasso everyone up.” Hal replied before taking off.

  Cale stood there in silence as I stared at the window in front of me out into the busy main street. I felt like I was in shock. I had a guy try to force me into having sex with him, and this other guy punches him to a bloody pulp? On day one?

  “Was that liberating for you?” I asked Cale, still not making eye contact.

  He took a step forward and reached for a towel that was behind the seat, trying to wipe the flowing blood from his hands. He seemed a little too calm about what he just did, which surprised me. “Actually, yes. Damon’s not the kind of guy you want to get involved with. I’ve seen him drink more than he did tonight, and he would’ve kept taking advantage of you with no stop in sight, B. You were screaming and I was coming back to get some sleep when I heard you.”

  “It’s just me overreacting, which was all it was.” I admitted. “I told him to sleep in my bunk with me and then pushed him away. It’s my fault.”

  Cale laced my hand with his and stood me up. “Don’t worry about it, Bryn. We played an amazing first show; Hal’s going to take us to a hotel so we can all rest. Just try to stay away from Damon as much as possible.”

  “That’s going to be a little impossible you know. It was just an overreaction Cale, he’s a nice guy.”

  Cale snorted. “If you say so.” Then he put his hands up in defense. “But that’s up to you. I know what this guy does and I don’t trust him, despite being a Hell of a singer.” And then he walked back towards the back as the other guys come aboard, slurring their words and bumping into me not knowing.

  I stayed in the front, making casual conversation with Hal until we pulled into a hotel about an hour away. I was relieved when Hal got me my own room next to the guys so I could hopefully get some peaceful sleep.

  Chapter 6: One Thing

  Everlasting played every night for the next week straight. It became like a ritual. We woke up, got breakfast, drove to the next venue, played our show, got back onto the bus, and started over again. I kept in touch with Gina and Bethany, telling them in a few weeks we were playing out in California near L.A. for a couple of shows so I’d get them tickets.

  My mind flickered every so often to Ethan. Some part of me missed him. Besides completely humiliating me my last year in high school, he had been a good guy. He kept no secrets from me. He turned me on to music and drove me to buy my acoustic guitar that I held onto dearly. He was brought up in the same kind of lifestyle that I was raised in, wealthy and messed up on all levels. His parents were more lenient and laid back than mine though, but still had no compassion for Ethan or their other children.

  “I expect you to be properly dressed for dinner in an hour, Bryn,” my mother said in that neutral tone I couldn’t stand. Her newly painted nails were tapping on my vanity, where I was brushing my hair for what felt like the millionth time today, but if one piece was ever out of place, I would be in deep shit.

  “Who’s even coming tonight? You just had a ‘fancy’ dinner party yesterday,” I replied, trying not to sound too snotty, but my mother caught on quick.

  Her fingers dug into my arm as her eyes narrowed. “Listen here you little brat. Mr. and Mrs. Donahue are coming along with Ethan and Rebecca. They believe Ethan has taken a liking to you, and would like you to start spending time together.” Ethan Donahue? That was out of the question. He was who all of the girls fantasized about when he walked down the hallway. His brown hair, bright green eyes, he was model material and totally out of my league.

  “Just so I can get out of your hair huh?” I snapped back, reaching for the long black silky dress that was laid out on my satin sheets.

  “Keep your mouth shut and speak proper or you’ll be out on the street young lady. You’re only 16 and I would hate to see someone as naive as you on the streets begging for food.” She was now shooting me daggers, which meant I do what she says or I really would have no home. What harm is there in talking? I’ve never had a conversation or said two words to Ethan, now I’m just nervous to be in the same room, let alone having dinner with him.

  “Fine. I’ll be down in a few minutes,” I spoke in my typical fake tone of happiness. My mother spun around on her heels and I heard the clicking down the hall until my room was completely silent again. I turned my iPod on to some classical Beethoven and slipped the black dress over my head. It looked decent on me, a square neckline hiding my cleavage, and the bottom went down almost to my ankles. Very conservative, the complete opposite of what I wish I was. I curled my hair so it formed loose curls down to the small of my back and put a very light coat of eye liner on. I told myself that was as good as it was going to get..

  I slipped a pair of black lacy stilettos onto my feet, studying myself in the mirror. Not too shabby for only turning 16. Smoothing out the fabric of the dress, I took a deep breath and heard the clicking of my own heels as I took slow steps down the staircase, careful not to trip on my dress.

  “You look stunning, my darling daughter.” My father took my hand and gave me a cold hug. “Caroline, doesn’t your daughter look like a beauty?” I knew this nice act wasn’t going to last. It was only because of the company tonight. I was
n’t stupid. My mother looked over from where she was setting up the fine china and gave a slight nod of approval.

  “Help me set up these plates, darling.” She gestured to me and I took a stack of plates from her, setting them in the precise spot in the middle of the placemat between the silverware. Once everything was set up, the doorbell chimed. He was here.

  “Welcome Donna, Richard. It’s nice to see you again Ethan. Rebecca, you look ravishing.” My mother gushed as she kissed the cheeks of our guests. “You remember my daughter Bryn and my son Brayden.” Brayden and I shook Mr. & Mrs. Donahue’s hands as they praised how beautiful and grown up we looked. I looked over at Brayden and he did look handsome and grown up for being almost 18. His brown hair was slicked back with a slight amount of gel and he wore a brand new black suit with red tie. We waved to Rebecca and I was last to greet Ethan.

  “It’s nice to see you outside of school, Bryn.” Ethan said as he bent to kiss my hand. Up close, I could see why all the girls flocked over to him. His dark blond hair was cut short, but not buzzed, showing off his bright blue eyes. They reminded me of the river that flowed behind downtown, always shiny and the prettiest mix of turquoise and baby blue.

  “Same here. It’s nice to get a chance to get to know you in different circumstances.” I replied, smiling from ear to ear. We stood there for a moment in awkward silence, and then mother announced it was time to eat.

  I couldn’t wait to get dinner over with. All our parents talked about was the upcoming benefit dinner for some mayoral candidate…I didn’t listen to half of it. All I could think about was the guy sitting across from me, casually nudging my foot with his leather shoes. It was a little gesture, but it was driving me wild.

  After we ate our main course, which consisted of lamb chops and garlic herb mashed potatoes, my father told us kids to take a break while the “adults” discussed business. I could tell Brayden wanted to screw the shit out of Rebecca, and Ethan led me out to the back patio.