Resolution (Saviour)

by Lesley Jones

  “Well don't. We've just had three days apart and a lot of heart ache because of your proposal bullshit. So I don't find it funny and I don't want to joke about it.”

  He looks a little hurt at my words but I feel irrationally angry at the fact he can find it a laughing matter so soon. Before either of us has a chance to say anymore my phone rings so I stand up from the family room floor. We have slept lying on one furry throw, with another over the top of us. My head spins as I take in the scene and I suddenly feel nauseous. I close my eyes and put my hand out to try and steady myself.

  “Shit... You okay? Did that fucker hit your head last night?”

  Gabe jumps up and steadies me.

  “No, I'm fine; it's just a head rush. Go and make some coffee. I'll get the phones, they've both been going off all morning.”

  I stand on tip toes and kiss him on the cheek and turn and walk off toward the bedroom to retrieve our phones.

  “You need to eat. Your arse looks too skinny Lauren,” He shouts as I leave the room.

  My arse isn’t skinny, I’m a size twelve, that’s average, bloody cheek.

  “Well cook me something and I will eat it,” I shout back.

  “Oh I’m good enough to cook for you but I’m not good enough to marry. Fuckin cheek ‘Marriage proposal bullshit’ that wasn’t a bullshit proposal, that was a fair dinkum proposal, I don’t know what her problem is, I thought all women wanted to be proposed to and get married.”

  I stand in the doorway and smile as I listen to his mumblings, he still doesn’t get it, he still thinks this is me rejecting him and not about me not believing in the concept of marriage, I can see this being a sticking point for us; oh well, I won’t be swayed, not for the time being at least.

  I grab our phones, pull Gabe’s T shirt over my head and head back to where he's making us coffee. He's leaning on the bench top waiting for the hot water to pump through the capsule in the coffee machine. He is totally stark bollock naked and looks like a god. A coffee making God – Nespressios. Ha! Imagine him bringing you coffee every morning, women across the world laying in their beds in anticipation, men too probably. Naaa, you know what? Scrap that thought, I’m not sharing him with anyone, call it selfish but this one’s all mine. I actually stop dead in my tracks and swallow. Hard as I take him all in. I look over his tattoo; he has a tattoo, of me and of him, on his back. He had it done to show me his feelings, for me. Tears well in my eyes for some reason and a wave of guilt washes over me for the hurt I’ve caused him by refusing to marry him but I smile at the same time, my resolve is weakening already. I am such a sap where this man is concerned.

  He senses me standing there and turns around with a grin on his face, “See something you like?” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down as he asks.

  “Yep....the coffee, shove a sugar in mine. I need a fix.”

  I pass him his phone as he passes me a coffee and I go and sit on the sofa. I have several missed calls, voice mails and texts from Jo, Jemma, Sam and both of my sons. I send a text to the girls letting them know I'm fine and safe in the arms of Gabe. I figure I better ring the boys, I try Ryder first but it goes to message bank.

  So I call Sonny, “Mum, what the fuck is going on are you alright?”

  “I'm fine bubby. Why?”

  “Because I'm getting all sorts of texts and Facebook messages about Jarrod White giving you shit in the pub last night. What's going on – what happened?”

  I fill him in on all the details and listen to my son scream blue murder about what he's going to arrange to have done to Jarrod. He's over the moon that Gabe gave him such a battering.

  We say our goodbyes and I attempt to call Ryder again when I hear Gabe on the phone. “No, no she's fine; she's just talking to your brother.”

  Gabe’s on the phone to Ryder? When did this bromance start? I look up at him from the sofa. “Yeah, he's a prick, grabbed her by the throat and pushed her backwards, I don't actually know. I don't really remember. I lost it mate, completely lost it. Not a problem, shoulda killed the fucker. Yeah man you know. Yeah, I'll put her on. See ya after.”

  He passes me the phone.

  “Ryder,” is all that he says.

  He's still naked and for some reason I feel embarrassed, awkward even, I'm not sure what, but it doesn't feel right having a conversation with my son with Gabe standing bare arsed in front of me.

  “Hey bubby.”

  “What the fuck Mum, what has gone on, I swear, I’m gonna kill that fucker.”

  “Ryder, don’t swear like that, I'm fine, I'm fine, really I'm fine.”

  Again, this child of mine is also happy that Jarrod copped a beating and actually sounds proud of Gabe as he tells me what every one is saying about the event. Gabe disappears while I'm talking and as I finish my call I go to look for him.

  The bath is running and full of bubbles.

  “Mind it's not too hot before you get in” I jump as I hear his voice.

  He's on the toilet. Of course he is, “Gabe, really?”

  “I've shut the door and put the extractor on. Fucking hell Lauren a man has to crap somewhere”

  “There's another bathroom next door, why can't you use that? Or better still, the one out by the pool.”

  “Yeah you’re funny Lauren,” he shouts.

  Am I? I wasn't trying to be funny, I was being serious but I stay quiet as I ease myself into the bath, owies, it stings a bit, but then I’m hardly surprised. I can’t help smiling to myself at the normality of the conversation we just had, me, moaning at him, for stinking the bathroom out, a conversation that goes on around the world every day between millions of couples, normal, boring, mundane and I love it. I wince as I lower myself further down slowly. I Lay back, shut my eyes and relax. I have no idea what the time is and despite the fact that I’ve just woken up, I feel so tired.

  “Move forward baby. Let me get in.”

  I'm woken from my nana nap by Gabe trying to squeeze into the bath behind me.

  “What - we’re gonna do THAT… AGAIN?”

  “Ha ha! You’re funny Lauren, although I’m more than happy to oblige if you really wanna go there? Were you sleeping?”

  “Yeah, sorry, what time is it?”

  “Just after three o'clock.”

  “Shit, we slept late.”

  “We did, glad I chose to stay wrapped around you rather than going fishing with the ol’ man this morning.”

  Shit, that reminds me, Gabe was supposed to go fishing this morning, I was supposed to see my GP, bugger, another missed appointment, I have actually noticed the spotting has stopped the past few days so I am pretty sure it’s down to the amount of sex we have been enjoying.

  I scoot down and he pulls my back against his chest once he's settled. We lay like this for ages in silence, topping up the hot water every time we get cold. I run my fingers up and down his thighs as he kisses the back of my neck and shoulders and occasionally cups my boobs.

  “Gabe?”

  “Mmmmm?”

  “Do you know how much I love you?”

  “Mmmmm Hmmmm.”

  “Good.”

  “Lauren?”

  “Mmmmm?”

  “Will you marry me?”

  “Not going there Gabe.”

  He nuzzles his nose into my hair and my skin is instantly covered in goose bumps. I smile to myself, we say no more, we just lie in our comfortable silence and soak in the bubbles until the water starts to get cold and we can’t top it up any more and my belly starts to rumble.

  Gabe stands up, “Right... Let’s get some food in you woman, you are going to need energy for what I have planned.”

  “Do I get any say in your plan?”

  “Absolutely not... Get out.”

  He stands in front of the bath with a towel in his hand; I stand slowly, not wanting my head to spin like earlier and step into his arms, my most favourite place in the world to be at the moment, pathetic I know, but hey, you only get to be middle aged and in love once righ
t?

  He kisses the top of my head and rubs me dry like I'm a child.

  “Get something warm on while I go and make us something to eat.”

  Gabe pulls on some jocks while I dig out some yoga pants and a hoodie. It's not at all warm today and is pouring with rain.

  I head out to the kitchen to the sound of Alicia Keys – ‘Girl On Fire’ playing over the sound system.

  Gabe is at the bench top, cooking. Toast!!!

  “We're having toast?”

  “Yeah, sorry, I haven't been shopping. Eat this and then we'll have takeout later when they're open. I have wine though.”

  “Bonzer,” I reply sarcastically.

  “I'm sorry Lauren, we were away last weekend, then, well then everything went to shit and I just haven't been shopping.”

  I instantly regret my tone and feel like a complete bitch. My moods swings today are definitely getting a work out.

  “Toast and wine perfect. As long as I’m with you baby, just don't put any of that Vegemite shit on it or on yours, else you'll be getting no pashing from me.”

  “Lauren, I love you an all that, but do not ever tell me not to eat Vegemite, I’m an Aussie, it would be illegal for me not to put it on my toast, one day, if you’re lucky, I might tie you up and eat it off of you.”

  Tie me up and eat off of me. I quite like the sound of that, but then again, this is Vegemite we’re talking about.

  “I’ll just take the tying up thanks, I’ll pass on the Vegemite.”

  He raises his eyebrows at me and gives me his full on knicker-shredding, heart melting, blue eyed, lopsided Aussie boy smile. Fuck, He can eat what he likes off me, I don’t really care as long as he keeps looking at me like that.

  We eat toast and I drink wine while Gabe drinks beer, then bourbon, all while we lay on the sofa and talk about nothing in particular.

  We end up getting a pizza delivered as Gabe has drunk too much to drive anywhere and I basically, cannot be arsed to leave the sofa. This is a first for me, in all the years I was with Jay; we never stayed home just the two of us and had a really good drink, a glass of wine or a few beers with dinner was always our limit but Gabe drinks with me like we are mates having a drink together, like how I would drink with my girls. I'm not saying getting drunk is the right thing to do but it's just a nice thing to do together and after the week Gabe and I have had; it's just so nice to relax and enjoy each other’s company.

  “Do you like Tequila?”

  Gabe is pouring himself another drink. I've slowed down, I've already drunk a bottle of wine to myself and I feel woozy but he seems happy to just keep drinking, I think he just needs to unwind.

  “Yeah it's okay, why, you wanna do some shots?”

  He looks at me over the top of his glass and our eyes lock, his are bright blue and the look he gives me is so intense, I feel myself sway, my insides heat up with desire, the sensation slides down through my body, settling between my legs. I lick my lips, unaware of my actions until his eyes move to my mouth and he repeats the action with his own lips and my breaths suddenly come at double speed, my eyes now on his mouth, his tongue. The whole atmosphere in the room is electric.

  “Go and wait for me on the bed.”

  Oh….My….God... My brain swims with desire as I take a few seconds to react to his words.

  I go straight to our bedroom, clean my teeth, take off my clothes and lay on the bed.

  CHAPTER 8

  The sensation comes up from my toes and I’m instantly awake. I lay perfectly still for a few seconds as I gather my senses and try to work out what’s happening; Gabe is wrapped all around me and as usual making me feel far too hot. The nauseous feeling that woke me up has now gone from a thought in my head to a sensation in my stomach and I have to fight not to heave, my mouth starts to water and I just know I have about thirty seconds to get to the bathroom. I jump out of bed and run for the toilet, trying to ignore the fact that someone is firing a nail gun into my head at half second intervals. Fuck, of all the times Gabe has actually listened to my complaints and put the toilet seat down, it would have to be now…I just make it as I hear him calling out my name from our bed. He would be under no illusion as to what I am doing because when I’m calling for Hughie, the whole street can generally hear me. I empty the contents of my stomach and sit back against the toilet wall. I know Gabe’s behind me, I can feel him, and I look up as he passes me a face cloth with a look of concern on his face.

  “You okay?”

  Great, stupid question time, “Do I look okay?”

  “Well, no sorry, I was just asking, can I get you something, a glass of water, coffee?”

  I am a bitch. A complete bitch.

  “Just some water please.”

  I go to stand up and he grabs me and pulls me to him and I feel instantly guilty and mean and so fucking hung over. God my head. I press down on it with both my hands and try to stop my brain from moving about inside my skull. Gabe kisses both my hands and my forehead.

  “Go and get back in bed, I’ll get you some water and pain killers.”

  He walks me back to bed and tucks me in before going off to fetch my water. God, I really need to get my inner bitch under lock and key. I seriously don’t know what is wrong with me. I really don’t deserve him. He comes back and sits on the edge of the bed; I take a few sips of the water but refuse the Panadol in case it makes me sick again.

  “How come you drink beer, bourbon and tequila and wake up fine, I stick to wine and wake feeling like shit?”

  I slide back down into the bed as Gabe climbs in beside me and pulls my back to his chest, kissing into my hair, making me breathe deeply and squeeze my legs tightly together. Even feeling like death he has an effect on me. I wiggle back and push my bum into his erection, which I just knew would be right there waiting for me.

  “Because,” He replies.

  I had actually forgotten I had asked a question as my brain went off on a tangent thinking about how much time was needed for my recovery before I would be capable of sex this morning. One hour, two, I don’t want to wait at all, I want him now but I need to get back up and clean my teeth.

  “I am a true blue Aussie bloke who can hold his liquor. Whereas you are just a POM.”

  “Get fucked, I am not a POM. The POMS are who we sent here to build up this country and make it the great place it is to live in now. Just remember what language you speak and whose head is on all your money.”

  “Well you’re obviously feeling better, you light weight, and can I get some loving now, seeing as you passed out cold on me last night?”

  “Shit, did I?”

  I actually don’t remember anything after cleaning my teeth and lying on the bed in anticipation of what Gabe had planned for me last night

  “Yes you did, I left you five minutes thinking you might wanna dress up for me and when I came in the bedroom, you were curled up on my side of the bed, snoring.”

  “I was not snoring,” I probably was, I know I snore, badly, especially when I’ve had a drink.

  “Yeah that’s what you always say, so this time I filmed you.”

  “You did not?”

  He reaches to the bedside table for his phone and plays the video back to me; Sure enough, I’m under the doona on his side of the bed, there is only a lamp on so you can just about make me out as I’m so snuggled down. I actually look quite cute.

  Suddenly Gabe’s voice cuts into the film, “This is Lauren, the woman I love with all my heart, and some. Look at her, how beautiful does she look?”

  Before he can continue, the loudest of snores comes from me, followed by the sound of Gabe laughing, okay, not so cute! I am sitting up in bed now, with my hand over my mouth, partly to shield him from my vomity morning breath but mostly because I am just trying to hide. How embarrassing.

  Gabe’s voice continues on the video, “I have begged this woman to marry me,” another loud snore from me, “Because after all, who wouldn’t want to spend the rest of their life,
sleeping with this every night?”

  I can hear that Gabe is having trouble not laughing as he speaks on the recording and as I look at him sideways, I can see he can barely contain himself now; he wipes the smile from his face as I glare at him.

  On the video I let out another massive snore as Gabe sniggers. “Oh and just to add to the attraction and the main reason I love her so much. She farts all night as well.”

  The recording ends with the sounds of my snores and Gabe’s drunken laughter. He’s lying back on the bed and laughing next to me now. I get up and go and clean my teeth and rinse my mouth with mouthwash, I splash my face with water and realise that I actually feel okay now. When I turn back to the bedroom, he’s lying on his front, elbows pushed up with his chin on his hands. I raise my eyebrows and look at him. He looks at me sheepishly and my heart melts and I can’t help but smile.

  “Are you mad?” He asks.

  “Yep. Well and truly pissed off.”

  “Sorry.”

  “No you’re not.”

  “No I know, but I don’t want you to be pissed with me.”

  “Well get back into bed and give me a cuddle and I might think about forgiving you.”

  We spend the rest of the morning in bed as it takes a lot of loving before I can bring myself to forgive Gabe and he seems more than happy to keep apologising, so I let him.

  Later we have an uneventful trip to the supermarket and restock the cupboards and I buy all that I need to make us a full on Sunday roast, I call Jo up and she comes and joins us and the three of us have a perfect Sunday, Jo and Gabe drinking wine and me sticking to water, because I just can’t face a wine.

  Around six o’clock as Gabe and Jo are discussing who will win the next election; I hear the gates to the drive slide open, I look across the dining table to where Gabe is oblivious to the sound and ask him, “Are you expecting anyone Gabe? The Gates have just opened.”

  He hears the worry in my voice and immediately stands from the table, I hate the sound of those gates, twice now bad things have happened after I have heard that sound, I know it’s irrational and I’m sure it will eventually wear off.