True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3))

by Kelley, Morgan

  Blackhawk lost control, he pushed up from the loveseat and grabbed his wife, dragging her to the bed and tossing her into the middle. First he ripped off the G-string and then he dropped his pants, and dove onto her, burying himself in her. “No control,” he whispered, as he slid in as far as he could, and then back out. The scent of wife, the feel of her body wrapped around his was maddening, and he’d never get enough.

  “You don’t need control with me, Ethan,” she whispered, holding on for the ride, while her very sexy Indian warrior found and gave pleasure.

  Blackhawk felt the last restraint snap, as he started pounding into his very willing and bewitching wife. She arched to meet each stroke and was whispering so many things to him and driving him crazy with her words.

  Elizabeth moaned his name, as she felt the heat building and bringing her to the precipice. She held on with nails and sheer will until she could tell that her husband was about to lose it.

  As her body exploded, it forced his pace to falter, and he shouted her name as he slammed into her one last time. Ethan’s entire body shuddered as hers milked his, and forced his release hotly into the only woman in the world that would ever have his heart.

  She was his true love.

  Elizabeth started giggling, as she lay trapped beneath her husband.

  “Did I hurt you,” he asked, without even looking over.

  “No you didn’t, but wow Mr. Blackhawk that was some pretty fantastic sex. It took me nine months to make you lose complete control, and it was so worth it,” she snickered and bit him on the earlobe.

  “I love you, Elizabeth.” He finally had his breath back, and he rolled bringing her to his chest.

  “Oh, I love you too. Very impressive,” she laid kisses across his chest.

  “I don’t think I’m done with you yet Mrs. Blackhawk.”

  “Goodie.”

  Callen was enjoying dinner with Desdemona, and he was greatly turned on that the men in the place were staring at her. He didn’t mind them looking, because tonight she was all his. Then the little voice in his head asked about what after that. What did he want after that with the woman? She was sweet, funny and filled a hole in his life. Just thinking the words brought back the guilt.

  “Callen, you’re staring, what’s wrong?” she asked, beginning to feel paranoid, like she was doing something completely wrong. After spending most of her time with the dead, she’d lost practice with the living.

  “I’m sorry, I was just thinking about you,” he answered, taking her hand.

  “I hope nothing bad,” she said, softly.

  “Oh no, there was nothing bad.” He didn’t want to scare her away, but he was thinking about what he was going to do about her when this was all over. Part of his mind was dwelling on the Rez and his grandfather, the other part on what she was wearing beneath that skirt and shirt.

  “So, tell me about your life outside the FBI,” she asked. Since it was a date, they shouldn’t talk shop, or death for that matter.

  “I’m pretty simple. I like to go hunting, and I like to hike and camp too.”

  She thought about it for a second. “I’ve never been hunting, and I think I’d pass on that one, but I’ve been camping and hiking.”

  “You have?”

  “Why are you surprised? I know I don’t look like the average woman who does normal things, but I assure you, Callen. I even watch TV once in a while too.”

  He laughed. “I don’t own one. If I watch TV it’s always at my brother’s house and it’s generally sports related.” Then he thought about it, and took the first step to seeing if they could have more after this was all over. “Would you go camping with me when spring comes?”

  She didn’t even think twice. “My tent or yours?” she asked, picking up her wine glass and taking a sip.

  “Your tent, my sleeping bag,” he quipped, grinning. “I like to be fair.”

  “I think that sounds completely intriguing.”

  Whitefox grinned the infamous ‘Blackhawk grin’. “That wasn’t the word I was thinking of going with, but it works for me.”

  Desdemona laughed. “Then I think you have a deal.”

  When she laughed, his whole body tensed at the sound of it crossing his body. It was like silk stroking his nerve endings and pulled lust from deep within his body. Part of him wanted to go get a sleeping bag right then and there and drag her into it. He was about to suggest some other creative things they could do in the sleeping bag when there was a crash of glass and angry voices.

  Both of them looked across the restaurant to a woman standing beside a table. The blonde woman was angrily pointing at the man and she was just about to throw her wine on him.

  “You’re a cheating bastard, and it would be shocking if you could stop staring at every woman’s ass that walks past you in here, but you have no self-control.” She dumped the garlic bread into his lap, as the waiter tried to calm her down. For his efforts, he received an elbow to his solar plexus.

  “But Courtney, I just looked that was all! It’s a guy thing!”

  She dumped the wine in his lap and turned on her heel, but just before she gave him one last look. “Rot in hell, I hope someone cuts out your cheating, lying heart.”

  “Wow,” said Desdemona. “That was something.” She really couldn’t blame the woman. She’d feel and probably do the same thing. Who was she kidding? Elizabeth would be ballsy enough to do that; she’d probably scurry away and hide. Then again she was finding that she was stronger than she thought she was and had a lot more in common with her friend than she believed.

  Whitefox forgot it was supposed to be a date and was back on duty. “Yeah, we need to find out who that woman was, just in case the poor bastard is the next one on your table.”

  Desdemona just nodded and tried to not be disappointed that their dinner alone turned into a work thing again. There was this intense wave of sadness that she so easily lost his attention, and yet she wasn’t surprised in the least.

  “Yes, I suppose we should.”

  Elizabeth sat in bed with chopsticks, her husband and dinner. After rolling around in bed, her husband seduced her into joining him in front of the fireplace, where the love making was gentle, sweet and seductive. Blackhawk had taken his time and where the first time was fast and hard, the second was slow and achingly sweet. He whispered words of adoration, love and what was in his heart for her.

  “I love you, Ethan,” she said, touching his cheek.

  Ethan grinned over at his wife. “I love you too, baby. Now come here!” He pulled her under his arm, and she began feeding her husband Chinese food while they curled together in bed and watched the flames flicker in the room.

  “We need a fireplace in our bedroom,” she stated.

  He laughed. “I’ll put it on my list of things to do,” he said, “I’m still not quite finished working on the tree house for the back yard. It’s just about completed.”

  Elizabeth thought back to the time they snuck up into his childhood tree house and had an incredible time. “What do you think is going to happen between Callen and Desdemona?” she asked suddenly.

  “Worried?”

  “Yeah, I am. I really like her and I hope if this doesn’t work out between them she’ll still want to be my friend.”

  Blackhawk knew that once his wife found someone she loved, she would collect them for life. It’s how her heart worked and one of the things he loved most about her. “I think it’ll work out.”

  “I miss having a girlfriend.”

  Blackhawk snickered. “You want a girlfriend?” he wiggled his eyebrows, lecherously and took a shot to the ribs because of it.

  “You know what I mean,” she laughed. “I miss Livy, she’s so far away, and she’s so busy with the kids. It’s nice having a friend,” Elizabeth said, honestly.

  “You have us,” he offered. He knew that she was close with the men in her family, but he could understand. A woman friend offered a different kind of friendship.

&n
bsp; “You want me taking Callen lingerie shopping to buy things for us to use?” she questioned him, grinning. “Because he’ll do it and enjoy every second of it too.”

  His earlier conversation with his brother came to mind, and exactly how willing he was to share his wife with him.

  “Can I come shopping then too?” Blackhawk started laughing at the look on her face.

  Elizabeth lifted an eyebrow. “You did just hear what I said, right?”

  Blackhawk nodded and then figured he should tell his wife about the conversation he had earlier in the day, since it had everything to do with her.

  Elizabeth listened to everything her husband said, and she wasn’t quite sure what she should say to him. When he was finished she took his hand in hers. “I think you’re an amazing man.”

  “I want to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me, Elizabeth.”

  “Oh great, my first name and not Lyzee, so I’m sure this is going to be one of ‘those’ talks.”

  “Are you in love with my brother?” he asked, with zero emotion in his voice.

  “I love your brother, but you know that.”

  “I mean are you attracted to my brother?” He tried another route to the answer.

  “Ethan, I am attracted to him, because you two are very similar. You know that I think the Blackhawk gene pool is very alluring.”

  He thought about her words.

  “Are you asking if I’m going toss over my husband and shack up with his brother?”

  “I think I am.”

  “Nope.”

  Blackhawk looked into her eyes and saw nothing but honesty and he felt immediate relief.

  “I think your brother is sexy and I love him a great deal. But I hope you realize that I married you for a reason, and that I wouldn’t cheat on you behind your back,” and then she teased. “Besides, have you seen your wobbly wife?”

  “I told him today I’m perfectly fine with you two being close.” Then he contemplated his next words. “If anything were to happen to me, he’d take care of you. I know my brother would step up and make sure you were safe.”

  Elizabeth didn’t like this conversation at all, but she listened because he obviously needed to get it out. It was beyond her comprehension how the night went from wild sex to talking about his brother. “I’m not worried about that, Ethan. You aren’t going anywhere.” Then it occurred to her this was all a segue to what he really wanted to discuss. “Are you worried about Callen?”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  Ethan accepted some Chinese food and chewed thoughtfully. “No, I think we’ve discussed it plenty for tonight. I just wanted to let you know that he and I had a conversation.”

  “Okay Ethan.”

  Blackhawk changed the subject.

  “I do think you need to go shopping with Desdemona for some fun things,” he wiggled his eyebrows.

  “Well this was all her doing.”

  “Shop with her on a regular basis,” he said, grinning. “In fact, spend lots of money on anything that resembles or reminds you of tonight’s little outfit. In fact, I’m physically fit; my heart can take even more risqué.”

  “You’re going to regret saying that.”

  Blackhawk thought about a big bill and lots of sex with his gorgeous wife. “Uh, yeah don’t bet on that.”

  “Do you think I’m too much of a tom boy?” she asked, suddenly.

  “Baby, where did that come from?” he asked, turning her face towards his and looking into her eyes.

  “I don’t know, but maybe I shouldn’t be so…”

  “Tough? Bad ass?”

  “Yeah. Do you want me to soften up, wear dresses and dress more like Desdemona was tonight?”

  At first he thought she was kidding, but the look on her face was serious. “I happen to like you just as you are, Elizabeth. If you want to change, do it for you not for me. I like that my wife comes across as tough and hard at work, and that she wears frilly aprons when she’s making me breakfast at home.”

  She didn’t look convinced.

  “I get the best of both worlds. You in jeans is a thing of beauty,” he said, lecherously. “Then you catch me off guard when I find out you’ve painted your toes pink. I like the little moments of femininity. It’s a big turn on.”

  Elizabeth kissed her husband and cuddled against him. “Well then darlin’, I aim to please.” Now she was thinking back over their conversation. Of all the conversations, this was the one she had to over think and figure out where her husband was heading with it.

  Callen Whitefox could feel the evening going to hell in a hand basket, and he wasn’t quite sure why. Something changed between him and Desdemona. They were laughing, flirting, and having fun, and then she put the wall back up between them, and he had no clue why. He kept replaying it over and over again in his mind, and then just went with safe topics. Like work.

  “I see the sheriff’s here,” he said, nodding to the bar.

  Desdemona looked over and swirled the drink in her glass. “Yes, he is.” She was definitely having a hard time being jovial and happy as she realized this wasn’t a date; it was a stakeout. She was just part of his disguise and that made her sad and angry all at once.

  “And he looks awful cozy with that blonde woman,” he answered, wishing Desdemona would come over and sit by him, like the blonde woman was with the sheriff. Now he just couldn’t figure out how to swing it. The ‘available’ sign was gone from her mood, and he was struggling to find a way back.

  “Yes, he does. Maybe they’re on a date,” she answered blandly. “If you’ll excuse me,” she stood from the table and pushed in her chair. “I’m going to go check my lipstick.” By now she assumed she’d need a touch up, not that he actually even kissed her. Desdemona walked away, and the tears were building and she needed a few minutes away from Callen Whitefox. Deep down she knew she shouldn’t be mad, they were working, but part of her was hurt that he’d never see her for anything more than just the FBI Doctor.

  Standing in front of the mirror, she noticed the blonde had followed her to the ladies room.

  “Great shoes,” she said, and smiled.

  Desdemona smiled back. “Thanks. Great bag,” she threw back the compliment.

  “Thanks.” The woman leaned her hip on the counter. “You work for the FBI?” She’d heard the gossip around town, and this woman was new around the bar. She needed to stake out the competition and see if it was long term or just passing through.

  “Yes, I’m Doctor Desdemona Adare.” She held out her hand. “I’m the Medical Examiner for the FBI.”

  “Carly Kester. I own the bookstore in town.”

  Desdemona gave her a polite smile. “If you don’t mind, my date is waiting.” Dropping the lipstick into her purse, all she wanted to do was escape. Her mood was questionable, even to a stranger.

  “Yeah, mine too,” and she turned to go into one of the stalls.

  Desdemona hustled out of the bathroom, and stopped at the sheriff’s side. She leaned down in his ear, and whispered to him. Recognition dawned, and then he nodded but remained in his seat. Desdemona crossed the bar and took her seat, shaking her head.

  Callen Whitefox had watched the entire interaction. Part of him was completely jealous that she was smiling at the sheriff and touching his arm. Part of him was curious what she could be saying. When she sat, he spoke.

  “What did you tell him?”

  “That a blonde was drugging men, and to be careful. I didn’t want to see him on the table in the morning.”

  “That was nice of you,” he said. “But he didn’t want to hear it?”

  “Nope. Hey, all in a day’s work, right?” she finished her wine. “I think we should go.”

  “Okay, Desdemona.” He knew he did something, and this was more proof. The woman was ending the date. When she stood and put on her own jacket and headed for the door, he felt his stomach drop.

  This answered the quest
ion of what would happen between them when this was all over, absolutely nothing. Desdemona just made it blatantly clear.

  Callen Whitefox couldn’t stand the silence any longer. She wouldn’t even look at him, and was staring out the window. This was a bad sign, and it made him feel a little panicky. He was attracted to the woman, and he didn’t want her walking away from him, not now and certainly not later. He already had a plan when it came to her.

  “Why are you mad at me,” he asked, carefully. Remembering the woman melting down in the restaurant and hoping she wouldn’t follow suit.

  Desdemona looked over surprised. “I'm not mad at you.” And she wasn’t.

  “Well, we went from a great night to an okay night to a shitty one in the span of two hours. So, something went wrong and I have to assume it’s something I did.”

  “I’m not mad at you, Callen. I’m mad at me.”

  Now he really didn’t understand. How could she be mad at herself? They were having a really nice time and then it all began to head downhill. It all began when the other woman started fighting in the restaurant, and he brought up work.

  She sighed. “I’m mad at myself because I actually believed we were going to have a date, and I dressed up, and it just wasn’t what I expected.”

  Shit! Now he got it. “Desi, I’m sorry.” Maybe he should have been a little more sensitive. Yeah, he needed to watch people for his brother, but he should have been focused on the most important one in the place.

  “It’s fine,” she said, as he pulled up to the house. “It was insane to believe you’d want to take me on a date anyway. I’m just the ME.” Desdemona hopped out of the vehicle and fought to hold back the tears.

  “Wait, you think I wouldn’t want to take you on a real date? Are you serious?” Then he saw the tears in her eyes. Well hell, he just needed to fix this. Desdemona really thought she wasn’t worth his time. Here the entire time he was trying to protect her from Elizabeth, and he was the one that was going to hurt her.