True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3))

by Kelley, Morgan

  “No one ever does, I’m completely invisible,” she said finally, as she pushed into the house they were staying in. “Thanks for dinner, Callen. See you in the morning.” She walked past him and to the stairs. Now she’d run and hide, and try to regroup to face them all in the morning. This was why she hid behind the goth-y clothing, because rejection hurt. She was insane to believe that sexy Callen Whitefox would ever see her as anything more than a one night stand. To her it was more proof of where his heart lived.

  Callen watched her leave, and he had no idea how to fix her or the mess that just started between them.

  “Seem to have a problem?” Elizabeth inquired from the kitchen doorway.

  Whitefox jumped. “Jesus, Lyzee.”

  “Sorry, I was getting some tea.” Elizabeth rubbed her stomach to calm the baby down. “Want to talk about it?” she asked, as he followed her back into the kitchen.

  “We started out great,” he said, then told her everything that happened. “I didn’t try to screw this up,” he stated in frustration. “And yet I managed to make it an epic mess.”

  “Ethan told you to take the night off tonight for a reason. He wanted you to have fun. Any woman wants to be the center of attention when a man takes her out, Callen.” Elizabeth took his hand in hers and they twined fingers. “Doctor Adare isn't the normal woman you screw around with. Get them drunk, bring them home and forget their name after dawn.”

  “I’m out of my element here,” he said hopelessly, spilling his heart to the only woman that knew his secrets and fears. If anyone could help him, she could and would. “I don’t really romance women. The women I bring home aren’t the type.”

  “What does she mean to you?” she inquired, softly.

  Whitefox had trusted the woman before him with all his secrets, to the ones that involved her and anything else. He relied on that trust to keep him afloat when he was adrift in the sea of confusion. “I don’t think I can love two people at once. Can someone be so hopelessly in love with one person, and then still have a relationship with someone else?” he asked her, because he really needed the reassurance and Elizabeth would tell him the truth.

  “Absolutely darlin’.” Elizabeth believed that without a doubt. Love was a multilayered complex thing and couldn’t be bound by normal rules. “I love your brother and I love you too. You can love two people if you really want to do it and it’s meant to be.”

  Callen listened to her words and tried not to read into it too much, especially after talking to his brother today. Knowing that Elizabeth felt the same way about him and Ethan gave him hope in life.

  “I think she’s a really special woman, and I’d like to see if I can fit her into my life. Something about her just throws me off balance, makes my head spin and I feel like I’m completely out of step.”

  “Sounds like the potential to be love.”

  Yeah, he was well aware what love felt like. Elizabeth gave him the same feelings, only ten million times worse. “What do I do now?” he asked, needing her help. “How do I fix this Lyzee? I don’t want to screw this up any more than I have.”

  Elizabeth stood and went to his side. When he leaned against her and rested his head against her body, and the baby bump, she stroked and played with his hair. “You need to make it up to her, and give her a new date to replace the one that got ruined. Do something that makes her feel special and unique.”

  He nodded. “Thank you, Lyzee.” He’d be lost without her, and this was why he loved her like he did.

  “Don’t worry, Callen. If it’s meant to be, nothing will stop it from happening.”

  Whitefox stood up and pulled her into his arms, just relishing the feeling and scent. “I love you, Lyzee,” he said, taking her face in his hands and kissing her softly on the lips. It was hard to not push the kiss too far, despite what his brother said to him.

  Elizabeth felt the tone of the kiss change slightly. It wasn’t odd that he’d drop a kiss on her lips, but this kiss was vastly different than the normal ones. Pulling away she looked up into his eyes, questioningly. “I love you too, Callen.”

  Whitefox allowed his fingers to linger and finally turned away, leaving her standing in the room alone, as he headed to his room.

  Part of him had always been afraid of losing Elizabeth‘s love if he found someone else these last few months. Never could he live with the idea of replacing what he felt for her with another woman. Now he knew he didn’t have to replace her. Elizabeth would stay firmly rooted in his life while he started to build a relationship with the woman upstairs. She’d always be there for him- never walking away.

  Deep in his heart he locked that part that she owned up, saving it for the first woman he’d ever fallen in love with. It would always be there for the rest of his life. Now he was able to focus on Desdemona. Now he just needed to figure out how to make everything all right.

  Elizabeth watched the man walk away and she was even more confused than before. Maybe it was all the pregnancy hormones. Man, she couldn’t wait to have her emotions and body back.

  Desdemona took off all her makeup, slipped out of the skirt and shirt and into a night shirt. As she climbed into bed, she could hear Callen moving around in the room beside hers. A part of her felt guilty for making him suffer with her. Just because she was completely unlovable and a lost cause, it didn’t mean she needed to make him pay for it. She wished he’d find something redeemable in her and want to be with her for something other than sex. She wished Callen saw her the way he saw Elizabeth.

  As she curled up in her blanket, the tears came. Her heart wept openly, because she’d fallen in love with him. His bossiness, his possessiveness, and now she’d pushed him away. Damn it, she was a hot mess that ruined everything. Lying in bed, she gave in to the tears and just purged it all.

  Whitefox was getting undressed, and thinking about the woman in the room beside him. Come hell or high water, he was going to fix this and make it right. Then he heard it, the soft crying, and his heart broke. Damn what a mess he created. Work could have waited one night. How many times would he get a chance to have dinner with her and have her be his complete focus? Going to the door that connected their room, he gently twisted the knob and stepped into her room. She was lying in her bed, so small and broken by his blatant stupidity.

  “Desi?” he whispered her name softly, as he walked towards the bed.

  “I’m fine, Callen,” she answered, as she sniffled.

  At that moment he wasn’t sure what to do, but he took the chance. “It doesn’t sound like you’re okay,” he said, climbing onto her bed and lying beside her.

  Desdemona froze. She was in no mood to have sex and she really was disappointed that he was thinking it was a possibility. Her whole body tensed.

  Whitefox felt her freeze up. “Come here, Desi. I know when I’m hurt it helps to just not be alone.” When she didn’t move, he went to her, curling protectively around the back of her body. Slowly she relaxed.

  When she realized he was just there to make her feel better, she welcomed it. Maybe he did understand.

  “Go to sleep, sweetheart. I’ll watch over you tonight,” he said, leaving a simple kiss on the curl of her ear. “I promise.”

  Desdemona felt the anger floating away, and she closed her eyes. “Thank you, Callen.” She felt a little better, as hope filled her. Maybe there was a chance, deep down he did understand that she was hurting.

  “No problem, Desi,” and he meant it. It was time to convince her that when this was over, the only place she was going was with him.

  Home.

  * * *

  Angrily she brushed her hair in long vicious strokes to punish herself. In the tree line she had the perfect shot to kill the woman that was after her man. The perfect opportunity wasted, and then the other woman had to warn her. Damn them! They must both be after her men. There was no way she was going to let those cheap whores get to the love of her life. He was her true love, and a woman must do anything to protect what was
hers.

  ANYTHING!

  She looked in the mirror and checked out her appearance. Why would he pick them over her? It was inconceivable. She’d done everything he’d asked and wanted of her, and even gone as far as offering him her heart and her soul.

  After all, she’d given up her life for him.

  * * *

  When the phone rang, they both jumped at the sound. When a call came in the middle of the night, it only meant one thing. Something bad had happened and there was an emergency. Desdemona Adare quickly answered the phone, and it took her a few minutes register what it was all about. When it sunk in, she knew there was a possibility that she may get sick.

  “I’ll be there in a couple of hours, I’m out of town,” she said simply, and then hung up the phone.

  “Desi, what’s wrong?” asked Callen Whitefox. They must have just fallen asleep not too long ago. He’d laid there listening to her easy breathing, making sure she slept first and keeping his promise to watch over her while she slept. Looking down at his watch, he noticed it was three in the morning.

  “I have to go, Callen.” She hopped out of bed, and started to pack her suitcase. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and fear was creeping up her body, preparing to freeze everything into one solid useless mass.

  “Go where, sweetheart,” he asked. Part of him knew if she ran now, he’d never get her back, and that left two choices. Talk her out of it, or run with her.

  “The police just called. My alarm company was alerted at my house. Someone broke in and wrecked the place,” she said, ready to cry. They didn’t have to tell her who did it, she already knew. The stalker that haunted every step of her life had accessed the one place that was sacred and destroyed it on her. Her home wasn’t safe anymore.

  “I’m going with you,” he said, sliding from the bed. “Give me a few minutes to get dressed, I’ll drive you.” He was already moving to the door adjoining their room.

  “Callen, wait, you have a job to do here. I’m finished until the next victim turns up, I can go. You can’t.” God, she hoped she couldn’t talk him out of it. Inside her head she pleaded with the mystical higher powers to not let her push him away, even as her words did just that.

  Whitefox walked back over to her, took her face in his large hands and looked down into those green eyes that intrigued him. “I’m going with you. I can’t let you face this alone. I promised you Desdemona, so stop asking me to when it’s just a useless waste of time and breath. I always keep my promises, because that’s the foundation to everything in life. If you break those you have nothing.”

  “Callen.” Desdemona said his name, as her eyes filled with more tears.

  Leaning down to her, he kissed her delicately on the lips, no push, no hardness. Just gentleness that he thought she needed at that moment to keep her from shattering apart. “I’ll meet you downstairs, and I’ll tell Ethan and Elizabeth that we’re leaving.”

  Doctor Adare nodded and watched him walk away. Hope bloomed; all the while terror began feasting at her heart and soul.

  Callen packed his bag fast, as he clipped his gun to his hip and tucked in his badge. Next was trying to convince his brother that he had to go, and if it came down to it, he’d quit in a heartbeat and worry about the consequences later. Desdemona was going to take precedent over work, and he wasn’t letting her do this alone. Tonight he screwed up, but he’d at least keep the woman safe.

  Walking to his brother’s door, he knocked lightly.

  “Come in,” came his voice.

  Whitefox opened the door and immediately he noticed both Elizabeth and Ethan were sitting up, but his brother was still protectively around his wife. Just in case.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, relaxing as his eyes focused on his brother before him. Whitefox had taken a seat beside his wife.

  “Desdemona just got a call,” he paused, linking fingers with Elizabeth, for support and strength. All he could hope was his brother didn’t fire him. “There was an alarm at her house, someone broke in, and wrecked the place.”

  “The stalker?” asked Elizabeth, squeezing his hand.

  “They didn’t say, but who else could it be? Some random coincidence?” He stated in doubt. “She’s packing to head back, and I’m going with her.” Whitefox put it out there waiting for his brother to tell say he wasn’t going.

  “Head downstairs, and give us two minutes to get down there. I’ll have the FBI tech team at FBI West go in and run it for prints and for any trace.”

  Callen loved his brother more than words would ever be able to express. Yeah he was his boss, but he just put brotherhood first. “Thank you, Ethan, for understanding.”

  “It’s what family does, especially the Blackhawks.”

  ~ Chapter Twelve ~

  Thursday early morning

  Desdemona lugged her suitcase downstairs, and she was surprised to find everyone waiting for her. Both Blackhawks and Callen stood having coffee and leaning against the counter in the kitchen. There was this little wave of worry that kept pushing at her and making her scared, but she knew she was an adult and needed to handle the messes that she found waiting for her. Telling her bosses she was leaving the assignment was probably going to be one of those messes.

  Callen immediately took her bag and placed it by the back door. The Denali was heated up and they would begin their trip as soon as she was ready to go.

  Elizabeth felt sympathy for her new friend and poured her a cup of coffee, pushing it across the counter to her, noticing that she looked worried. “You’ll need this,” she added. “It’s bitching cold out there.”

  “I’m sorry.” It was all she could think of at that moment.

  Elizabeth went to her friend and hugged her. “Hey, you didn’t sneak to your house and wreck the joint, so stop apologizing.”

  Desdemona hugged her back, and knew that part of her would love this woman forever. She’d accepted her and offered her something no one else ever had. Unconditional friendship. “Thank you for understanding.”

  Blackhawk spoke up. “The other tech team is in en route to your house. They’ll sweep for anything they can find and then run it.”

  “But this isn't FBI related!” Desdemona tried to object.

  He knew it wasn’t and again the curiosity rose to the surface of how his wife pulled it off. “You heard Director Rothschild. Elizabeth and I are going to handle this, so just give them the next two hours to do the initial sweep and then you can enter the house. Don’t drive like maniacs to just be in their way.” That was meant for his brother. “You have our house key. Take Desdemona there if the tech team is still busy working the scene. Use the quiet there to crash for a while. You know the alarm code.”

  Whitefox nodded and went to Elizabeth. “Thank you,” he rubbed her belly and his yet born nephew.

  “Come back in one piece, Callen,” she whispered back, taking his face in her hands and looking into his eyes. “Promise me.”

  He kissed her on the lips, and made the oath. “No worries beautiful. You keep an eye on my brother.”

  Elizabeth nodded, releasing his wrist.

  Next he went to his brother and hugged him. “Thank you for understanding.”

  “Watch your back, Cal,” he whispered in his ear.

  “Yes, Sir!” Callen saluted, and his sister-in-law laughed.

  “Come on, Desi. We’ll go take care of this, and get back here before anyone knows we’ve even gone,” he said grabbing the bags.

  “Thank you,” she said, following him out the door into the bitter night.

  Both Blackhawks watched them leave, and he looked over at his wife. “Worried, baby?” he asked, noticing the look on her face.

  “Yeah, Cowboy I am.”

  “Me too,” he said, locking the door and pulling his wife away from the kitchen door. They had a few hours until they needed to be back at work. “I’m not going to be able to sleep.”

  “Me either.”

  “I think we need to talk.” It w
as time. “We need to discuss how you got our boss to allow the FBI to foot the bill for Desdemona’s problem.” Blackhawk knew the minute his wife registered what he wished to discuss. Her whole body went rigid and tense.

  Elizabeth’s first instinct was to lie, but then she remembered who she was talking to and couldn’t bring herself to damage the trust between them.

  “Well Elizabeth?”

  Again she didn’t speak. She wasn’t sure how to broach the conversation.

  “How about we bring our coffee upstairs, I light a fire and we discuss what you’re hiding from your husband?” Blackhawk knew tossing out the title of husband was playing dirty, but then again, keeping secrets was just as dirty.

  Elizabeth grabbed her coffee and his. “That sounds good to me. I love a crackling fire,” she answered, trying to keep it light and airy. Once she told him the truth, she might lose her husband and his respect.

  Blackhawk led his wife up the stairs to their room, and he released her hand. He went to the love seat, and he noticed she chose to sit on the bed, placing distance between them. This had to be very bad sign of what was coming.

  “When I was back in the FBI under Gabe Rothschild, my last assignment with Livy was a bad one. We were sent in to work on a serial killer assignment. It was one of my firsts. I had just transitioned from violent crimes into Gabe’s department. When he was promoted, he pretty much took me with him.”

  Blackhawk sipped his coffee and just listened.

  “The killer became infatuated with Livy,” she paused, slipping back into her memories to find the secrets she’d buried so deep.

  “Infatuated?”

  “He was stalking and killing redheads. Maybe you remember the case. It was in Boston, ‘The Irish Butcher’. Elizabeth watched the look on her husband’s face. Ethan was the king of poker faces, and it was bad when his suddenly cracked, when the information hit its mark.