Underwater

by Doe, Anna B.

  “Years, Ty. How can you not see it? How can you not see her? The way she looks at you?” I shake my head once again, suddenly tired from all of it. All the pretending and lies.

  Letting Mar go has been hard, harder than I imagined, but pushing Ty to do the right thing? To do what he was supposed to do from the beginning? It’s brutal. I’d rather break both my legs than feel like somebody’s ripping my heart right out of my chest with their bare hands.

  “Go to her. Ask her to prom. Be the man she needs you to be. God only knows I’m not.”

  MARISSA

  “School is almost over.”

  The sound of Ty’s sweet voice brings a small smile to my face. I turn around, leaving the job of putting the dishes in the dishwasher to one side for a minute.

  “Just a couple of weeks,” I agree, drying my wet hands on a towel. “Then it’s summer season and work, work, work.”

  Ty scans around the still-busy café, a smile playing on his lips. “I guess you’re right. It’s always busy during the summer in here.”

  “Kids don’t go to school, college kids return home and the tourists come and go. Everything comes alive for a few short months before we return to the routine of life for the rest of the year.”

  “Not quite the same.” Ty laughs, and I can’t help but laugh, too. It’s the kind of effect he has on me.

  “Not quite the same,” I agree. “Do you know where you’re going?”

  Blush colors Taylor’s cheeks. “Stanford.”

  “What?” I run around the bar and hug him excitedly. “That’s amazing, Ty! Congrats.”

  “Thank you. It’s just a partial scholarship but...”

  “You’ll do amazing.” I smile. “I know it.”

  “What about you?”

  The excitement dances inside of me, but I push it down. I’m still not sure if I’ll even get a chance to go to college. The curse still isn’t broken, so I don’t let myself hope for too much. I’ve had enough dreams crushed as it is without adding this one to the pile. But when I saw the college seal on the thick envelope… I knew I got in.

  My dream school.

  “I’m just changing the island.” Or I’ll be stuck at the bottom of the ocean, but that’s close enough.

  Moving back behind the bar, I get Ty a water, then resume the job of putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. My shift is ending soon, and I have to have this done by then.

  “I’ll be going to the big island, University of Hawaii at Manoa.”

  “Oh…”

  The one word, more like a sigh really, is left hanging in the air. Frowning, I turn around to look at him. “What?”

  “I’m not sure…”

  “Taylor.” I give him a warning stare. He can’t leave me hanging now. That ‘oh’ was filled with so much meaning not even a full-length novel could transmit.

  “Caleb is going to Manoa.”

  “C-Caleb?” My voice trembles at the mention of his name.

  Two weeks. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve said it.

  Two weeks.

  Two weeks of not talking to him. Two weeks of only seeing glimpses of him on the beach or in school. Glimpses of him with another girl. Always different. Always beautiful. Always everybody-but-me. Two weeks since he looked me in the eyes. Two weeks since I saw him smile or heard his laugh.

  Two weeks of emptiness.

  “Yes.”

  “But isn’t he…”

  Ty nods his head, a sad smile forming on his lips. “I thought he was going to concentrate on pro surfing; after all, that’s been his dream for so long. I didn’t even know he’d applied, until I stopped by his house and saw the envelope on his desk.”

  He’s going to Manoa, and for the next four years we’ll be there together.

  Butterflies start jumping in my tummy. Slow, barely noticeable flutters. I’m not sure if it’s the nervous or excited kind. Probably both.

  I miss him.

  I really miss him.

  I miss his laughter and smiles. I miss the mischief in his eyes when he would look over his shoulder at me. I miss seeing him conquer the waves so perfectly in sync with the ocean. I miss the way the piercing in his lip glistens under the sun as he quirks it upward in a smirk only somebody like Caleb can pull off. Somebody confident and maybe slightly full of himself. I miss our midnight swims and playing with the dolphins together.

  But overall, I just miss him.

  Caleb.

  Yet at the same time, I’m dreading the future. I’m dreading what will happen if I do get to go to college and have to look at him every day with another girl like I have the last two weeks.

  I’m not sure I would survive it.

  “Is he…” I swallow hard, pushing the words out. “Is he giving up surfing?”

  “Oh, no! He isn’t giving up anything.” Ty laughs. “Does Caleb look like a guy who’d give up on something he loves? He said he’ll do both. Go to college and keep pursuing surfing.”

  What feels like the first real smile in days spreads across my lips. Bittersweet. That’s how it feels. “I’m happy for him. It would be a shame if he gave up surfing. He’s so talented.”

  “I haven’t seen a guy that talented in years.”

  I nod my head in agreement, then silence falls over us. I don’t know what else to say. I don’t want to talk about Caleb anymore. Talking about him is like taking the first swim of the season, when the water is so cold it’s freezing every cell in your body, but you love it anyway.

  Taylor can feel it, too. He scratches the nape of his neck, looking around. “You almost done? Wanna take a walk to the beach?”

  I scan the café, noticing a few more things that need to be taken care of before I go. “Just a couple more minutes?”

  “I’ll wait outside so you can finish.” Ty drinks what little is left of his water and walks outside.

  Picking up his glass, I let it join the others in dishwasher and turn it on. A couple of hours are left before closing, so the dishes will be done by then.

  I’m wiping the counter when Mom emerges from the back room. She’s been in her office for hours. Probably placing orders and God only knows what else that’s necessary for Azure Pearl to run smoothly.

  “You’re still here?” She pulls a few runaway strands behind her ear. “What time is it anyway?”

  “Yup. I’m finishing now. It’s close to 10 p.m.”

  “Already?”

  Her disheveled look and the surprise in her voice make me chuckle. She’s so cute disorientated like that.

  “Yes, Mom. You’ve been stuck in that cave for hours! Thank God you have me, or this place would fall apart.”

  She narrows her eyes at me and starts waving her finger in warning.

  Puh-lease. Like that’ll scare me. Maybe a decade or so ago, but not anymore.

  “You, missy, better grab your stuff and go home.”

  Laughing, I hang my apron and dash for the back room to grab my stuff. I pull the bag from my locker and walk out. As I pass by her, I give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

  “I’m going for a walk with Ty, but I’ll be home soon!” I throw over my shoulder and then leave, not waiting to hear what she has to say.

  I’ll probably hear it later, but if I can put it off, even for a few hours, it’s better than hearing it right now.

  “I’m ready,” I say when I get on the beach and find Ty playing with his phone.

  He gets up from the sand, brushing his clothes. “Anywhere special you’d like to go?”

  I shrug. “It’s just a walk, right?”

  His eyes dart to the side. “Just a walk.”

  There is an awkward moment when Ty starts walking in one direction and I go in another. We laugh it off, but the nervousness, the tension, is still there.

  As present as ever.

  Everything changed that day at the beach when we almost kissed, and I’m not sure what to do about it.

  Ty didn’t come right out and say he wants something to
happen between us, but he’s around more. He stops by the café, and we joke in school. Sometimes he walks me to class, and some days he sits with Noel and me for lunch. It’s like before, but at the same time it’s more.

  Finally, we decide which way to go and start walking in silence.

  The light is low, since it’s not a full moon, and we’re close to the city, so the street lights impede seeing the stars clearly.

  It’s still beautiful. The light breeze cools off the remains of the daily heat. Waves hum constantly, sliding over the sandy beach and retreating.

  The darkness gives a romantic feeling to the night, and I can see a few other couples walking down the beach, holding hands or sitting together and watching stars.

  Taylor steers me closer to the ocean. Well, as close as I dare to go, which is actually a safe distance from the ocean.

  I can feel the blood start running faster through my veins, the humming of the ocean increasing the tickling feeling underneath my skin.

  Since the last full moon, the call of the ocean has been stronger. Every time I would come close to the beach—which is almost constantly since my house is on the beach and I work at the café which, yet again, is on the beach—I would feel it.

  The tingling.

  The itchiness.

  The need.

  The need so strong it’s getting harder and harder to resist it.

  So every day, the moment night would fall and I deemed it safe to go to the beach, I would go to my cove and dive in. I would swim for hours, until the sun started to rise and I couldn’t put off going back home anymore. But as soon as I would get out, the satisfied feeling would disappear, replaced with the buzzing underneath my skin. The need to go back. Swim away.

  “Risa?”

  I turn around, zeroing in on Ty’s questioning face.

  “Yes?”

  “Are you okay?” He tilts his head to the side, watching me carefully. “You seemed lost for a bit.”

  Brushing a runaway strand of hair behind my ear, I smile. “Yeah. Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. You said something?”

  He shifts from leg to leg, looking uncomfortable. And… is there a blush on his cheeks? I couldn’t be sure, not in this darkness.

  “I know it’s kind of late…” Ty runs his hand through his blond locks, making them even messier than before. “But it didn’t feel right before so…”

  “Yes?”

  “Doyouwanttogotopromwithme?” he blurts out quickly. So quickly I don’t understand it.

  “Do I… what?” I chuckle lightly, now positive that his cheeks are flushed.

  He takes a deep, calming breath in and starts again. “Prom. Would you like to go with me?”

  My heart skips a beat.

  It’s happening. It’s really happening.

  I want to jump in excitement and cry all at once.

  I never thought Ty would notice me as more than a friend, much less ask me to prom. But maybe… maybe this wasn’t all in vain. Meeting Caleb, our fake relationship and breakup. Maybe all of it did serve a purpose, and that was to get me and Ty together. And break the curse.

  Is Caleb going?

  Who will he take? One of the girls he was with since we “broke up” or some new girl?

  “I wasn’t sure if, with everything that happened…”

  “I’d love to,” I say, stopping him from continuing with his rambling.

  I can’t keep thinking about Caleb. There is no Caleb and me. There never was. And there never will be. I need to concentrate on Ty. The guy I’ve been in love with for as long as I can remember. The guy who’ll save me from the curse. That is, if he says the magic words.

  “I’d love to go to prom with you.”

  Caleb

  My hands grip tightly into fists by my sides as jealousy, hot and heavy, slams into me. I want to go there, move his hands off her body and slam my fist into his face, but I rein in my anger.

  This is what she wants, I remind myself.

  This is what she needs.

  Him.

  Not me.

  Him.

  Marissa believes he’s the one who can break the curse. And maybe she’s right. If Ty really is the one who owns her heart, then he’s the one who can fix this.

  The one who can save her.

  It’s always been him for her. Taylor. Your best friend. She never really saw you. Never will.

  The devil on my shoulder keeps taunting me, fueling my rage. I turn my back to her, to them, and start walking away.

  It’s hard. My footsteps slow and heavy, because everything in me rebels against it.

  She’s mine. Mine. I shouldn’t be the one turning my back on her while he’s there, holding her. It should be me.

  Every footstep takes me farther away from them, for which I’m grateful. I don’t trust myself when I’m so close to her. I don’t trust I’ll keep my word and stay away from her.

  That’s why I need the puppets. The girls who stand as a shield between us. Girls who will tell Marissa to fuck off and remind me why I shouldn’t run after her no matter how much I want to. Why I shouldn’t grab her hand and spin her around, hug her tightly to my chest and beg her to choose me over him. To let me be what she needs.

  I’m not sure how far I walk or how long I’m outside. It doesn’t matter where I’m going, as long as I’m not close to her. After all, I’m on an island. It’s not like you can get lost on an island. Eventually you have to return right back where you started.

  Finally, my legs start to hurt, so I decide to sit down. It’s not like random people will wander around here. It’s too far from the city. Even the street lights don’t reach this far. The night is darker here, the moon and stars illuminating the sky.

  A sense of melancholy assaults me.

  Marissa and I used to watch the night sky after we’d return from our nightly swimming expeditions.

  Is she swimming right now? Watching the night sky with me, although we’re not together, and wondering the same thing? Or maybe she came clean to Ty about her being a mermaid. That she’s the one who saved him. Maybe he’s the one swimming with her right now. Maybe they’re the ones stargazing together.

  Just the thought of it makes my stomach turn and my teeth grit tighter.

  She better not. It was our thing. The dolphins and I were the only ones who knew the real Marissa.

  Child of the ocean.

  A soft noise interrupts the quiet of the night.

  I tilt my head to the side, listening carefully. I came this far away because I wanted to be left alone. If some couple wants to have a make-out session here, they’ll have to find another spot.

  The sound of feet nearing gets louder. I turn over my shoulder, ready to tell whoever is coming here to fuck off, when I see her.

  The white dress dancing around her naked legs, her feet bare. Extremely long, wavy black hair cupping her angelic face. And her eyes. I’ve seen that shade of green on only one other person.

  Aqua-green gems.

  The color of the ocean.

  Marissa’s eyes.

  MARISSA

  Diving out, I throw my head back, long strands of hair falling with a thud when they touch my back. It grew again, falling all the way to my waist. The golden streaks are brighter, more pronounced since the sun is stronger, and give my brown hair a honey touch.

  Today I’m alone, the dolphins nowhere to be found. I guess they are out there somewhere playing or maybe sleeping since it’s night. Who knows. Do dolphins even sleep?

  I turn on my back, floating and watching the night sky. Out here, away from the beach, the stars shine brighter. They twinkle happily, illuminating the night, the main source of light since the moon is yet to be full again.

  Only half a cycle is left for the moon to complete its third and final rotation.

  Only half a cycle to be a mermaid.

  Only half a cycle to stay a mermaid forever.

  Which one will it be?

  A soft chuckle parts my lips, although
the last thing I feel right now is amused.

  It’s so peaceful out here.

  Quiet and serene.

  All the things I once upon a time loved about nightly swimming, I now hate. It’s too quiet. Lonely.

  “Where are you, Caleb? Are you, too, looking at the night sky?”

  Tears burn in my eyes, so I dive in again, letting the ocean wash away my sadness.

  Nothing will ever be the same. Even if everything else returns to normal, I won’t be the same.

  I’ll never look at the ocean the same way. There are too many secrets hidden in its depths. Secrets humans don’t know and will probably never figure out. And maybe it’s better that way. I’m not sure we’re ready to open our eyes and hearts to the magic that’s happening beneath the waves.

  I’ll never look at the beach the same way. The place that was once my home is now tainted with all these memories, good and bad. Filled with loneliness and laughter, broken hearts and magic.

  I’ll never look at the night the same way. The beautiful dark sky that once gave me peace now brings me loneliness.

  And it’s all because of him.

  He’s the one who changed everything.

  Sighing, I turn around and start swimming back to shore to head home. It’s still early, and I’ll most likely regret my decision as soon as I get there, but I can’t take any more of this quiet. The thoughts that assault my mind are too loud. Overwhelming.

  I swim close enough to the land so I don’t miss my cove, but still far enough in case somebody is at the beach. It’s more of a precaution than anything else. I’ve never seen anybody wander around here this late at night, not in our small town. And even if there is some adventurous tourist who wants to go on a nightly swim, they tend to stay away, close to the city.

  That’s why I almost miss it. I don’t expect to find anybody out this late, but I’m wrong. There is somebody.

  Hidden in the cove, surrounded by darkness. They sit so close together, their thighs touch on the sand. Her dress is pearl white, sticking out in the darkness of the night. Her black hair, long and wavy, falling all around her.

  Nymph.