Underwater

by Doe, Anna B.

  Caleb leans forward, his nose brushing against mine. I can feel his warm breath touch my skin. Touch my lips.

  “If only for one night, you’re completely and utterly mine, Marissa.”

  His words, his nearness, leave me stupefied.

  Just for a second, when he’s so close, he opens up to me again. Just for a second, his green eyes shine brightly and I get to see inside his heart. Inside his soul. And what I see there both scares and excites the hell out of me, but then the wall comes crashing down as his lips touch mine. And I’m gone.

  Completely, utterly, irrevocably gone.

  Marissa

  Caleb’s lips crash over mine, and it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. He kisses me with so much passion, so much need, it’s hard to breathe.

  His lips are hard and soft at the same time. The metal ring digs into my soft flesh, cooling my heated skin and making me shiver with the difference in temperature.

  His lips lock over mine, strong and commanding. Tilting my head to the side, he demands entrance that I give willingly, his silky tongue slipping past my lips and inside my mouth. A loud whimper escapes me once our tongues tangle together.

  “Caleb…”

  At first, I’m surprised, but I regain my composure quickly. My hands go around him, one at the small of his back and the other getting lost in the wild curls at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to me. The strength of my grip leaves him off balance and he falls forward, his body pressing into mine.

  The weight of his body on mine surprises me. I expect him to pull away; after all, the scales must be digging into the naked skin of his legs, but he ignores it all, not moving away from me. Not in the slightest. If it’s possible, he comes even closer.

  His tongue touches mine in a slow, sensual dance for dominance. One of the hands that has been cupping my cheeks gets lost in my hair, holding me hostage to his kiss. Not like I’d actually want to run away. The other one slides down my arm, exploring my almost naked upper body.

  “Caleb…” His name is a soft breath falling from my lips, and then his are over mine again.

  The palms of his hands are rugged, and as he slides them over my skin, he leaves shivers behind. Or maybe it’s not about the way his hands feel on my skin. Maybe it’s just Caleb.

  I don’t know how, or when or why it happened, but somewhere along the way he started to affect me. And if this is the only thing that can ever be between us, so be it. I’ll enjoy every second of this moment we have together.

  Sighing, he pulls away from me, breaking the kiss. His breathing is hard and rugged, matching mine, and our heated skin a complete contrast to the chilly ocean. Caleb presses his forehead against mine, his green eyes boring into mine, and I can feel myself shiver under his watchful stare.

  “What have you done to me, Mar?”

  I let the hand at the nape of his neck slide and cup his cheek, my thumb brushing against his cheekbone in understanding and support. That’s the only thing I can give him. My silent support, because I can’t give him the words he wants to hear.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper, closing my eyes. His broken, green stare and silent plea are too much to bear.

  I’m hurting him, I know I’m hurting him, but I also know there isn’t another way. If there were, I’d have already figured it out. But nothing about this whole situation is normal. Normal ceased to exist the moment I grew a tail.

  “Shhh…” Caleb places a finger over my lips.

  Slowly, I open my eyes to look at him. He’s so beautiful washed in the bright light of the full moon, droplets of water clinging to his tanned skin and dark hair messy from my fingers.

  “Tonight nothing else matters. Just you and me.”

  His green eyes transfix me.

  Enchant me.

  Own me.

  “Just you and me,” I agree.

  This time I don’t wait for him to make the first move. Maybe the knowledge that we have mere hours left finally settles in my mind, making me desperate.

  With both of my palms settled over his pecks, I push him back. Caleb falls on his back with a splash, leaning against his forearms and looking at me. I come closer, hovering over him. My wavy hair falls around us, shielding us against the rest of the world as I touch his lips with mine.

  This time the kiss is slow. Painfully so, but no less desperate. I brush my lips against his over and over again, trying to memorize the shape and taste of him.

  Playfully, I pull at the ring in his lower lip, the small movement making him growl deep in his throat.

  My eyes snap open when I hear the sound, only to find his already open and staring into my face, the green gems hazy from lust.

  “Do it again,” he demands.

  A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. “Like this?”

  Teasingly, I touch our noses together before I brush my lips against his. I nibble at his lower lip, sucking it softly into my mouth.

  “Mar…” Caleb’s voice is low and husky. Needy.

  Chuckling, I let his lip go and do as he asks, slowly pulling at the ring in his lip before I give up on all the teasing and kiss him for real. My tongue slips past his lips and tangles with his in the world’s most heated tango.

  I don’t know how long we stay like that. Making out in the shallow part of the ocean, water barely covering us as we kiss until our lips become swollen red.

  Sometime later, when the morning light slowly starts to shine through the dark night sky as the moon falls down the horizon, Caleb picks me up and helps me get out of the ocean. He lays me on the towel and joins me.

  His arms curl around me as we lie there, watching the darkness disappear under the power of light, his hold on me strong and secure.

  It should be empowering, watching the new day form right before your eyes. Seeing the light drive away the darkness. Only it isn’t. It makes me feel dread and hollow inside.

  We don’t say anything. The whole time, we keep quiet, the silence our companion in those last minutes. Nothing can be said or done to change our destiny.

  And when the orange glow of the early morning sun shines over us and my body returns back to normal, I know this is it.

  Time to say goodbye.

  Caleb gets up, giving me privacy to put on my clothes. I can hear him walking behind me, probably picking up his stuff, so I do the same once I’m decent.

  At the same time, we turn around, facing each other. The lump that formed in my throat grows bigger.

  We stare at each other, and then, like one, like there is something between us, pulling us together, we walk closer. His hands grip my face as I hold onto his shoulders. Our foreheads touch, and in this moment, in these final few seconds that are ours, we just are.

  “This is it.”

  “This is it,” I agree.

  “Knock him out, Mar,” he whispers.

  Tears burn in my eyes as I swallow the lump in my throat.

  “I’ll give it my best,” I promise. “Even if I don’t succeed, I have to know I tried. I have to know I gave it my all to get my life back. I can’t give up without a fight.”

  His grip on my face tightens, not too much to be painful, but enough I can feel it. “You’ll get your life back, Marissa. I believe in you.”

  Caleb takes a step back, his hands falling from my face. Mine itch to grab his hand and hold him close, but I resist.

  Step by step, he moves farther and farther away. His lips part, but no words come out. Shaking his head, he turns his back to me and stalks away.

  Away from the beach.

  Away from me.

  Away from what could have been if this wasn’t our life.

  But it is, and there is nothing we can do to change it.

  “Goodbye…”

  Marissa

  “So you guys just… broke up?”

  I give Noel a side glance but quickly return to looking out the window as we drive to school. Today Caleb didn’t pick me up. I knew he wouldn’t. We just “broke up” a couple o
f hours ago, so the days of him picking me up, coming to my front porch with his hair mussed and wet from the early morning surf, are over.

  Thank God Mom went to work early, or she would have probably asked questions I wasn’t prepared to answer.

  “Yup.”

  “But you were, like, perfect together.”

  An unladylike snort comes out of my mouth. “It was all just pretense, Noel. You know that. You suggested it!”

  It feels better if I have somebody else to blame other than myself. I was the one who went and asked for Caleb’s help, but I wouldn’t have done it if Noelani and Caleb himself hadn’t suggested it.

  “Well, I know, but I was kind of rooting for you guys.” She pouts. “Carissa.”

  “Ca-what?” I ask, this time turning fully in my seat to look at her. “Are you drunk, Noel? Should I be worried?”

  She laughs at me, and I narrow my eyes, looking more closely at her. She doesn’t look drunk, and it’s still early in the morning, but maybe she’s hungover. It’s never clear with her.

  “Carissa. Caleb and Marissa. Your ship name.”

  “You gave us a ship name?”

  “Well, duh!” Noel playfully rolls her eyes, concentrating on the road before her. “All the greatest couples have ship names. Take, for example, Olicity. You two are even cuter than they are, and you don’t even see it! Sometimes, being next to you makes me want to puke.”

  I run my hand through my hair in exasperation. “It was all pretense!” I repeat.

  “So you keep saying,” she deadpans. “But what if underneath it all there is something more?”

  Could she be right?

  “You’re delusional.” I say, shaking my head. It’s not possible.

  What Caleb and I had was a mutual understanding. A friendship based on the secret we shared. Not a love story.

  In the weeks we kept up the charade I’ve grown to know him. I started to care for him, but what I feel for Caleb doesn’t even come close to what I feel for Ty. What I’ve felt for Taylor for years. It can’t be.

  “Whatever.”

  Noel shrugs, concentrating so not to run over all the kids in the school parking lot. But I know her better than that. I didn’t convince her in my reasoning, and this is far from over.

  The day went smoothly, for a while that is.

  When I came to school with Noel next to me, some people did give me strange looks. I guess I wasn’t the only one used to having Caleb pick me up and bring me to school. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence, but it was most days.

  The good thing is, we didn’t have any classes together, so I didn’t have to look at the back of his neck all day long these last few weeks of school. Or have people’s curious eyes stare at me wondering what happened, assuming and talking about us behind our backs like we can’t hear them.

  Or so I thought. Then lunch happened.

  My English teacher asked me to stay behind because she wanted to discuss something from my essay, causing me to run late. I’d hoped to find something edible in the school cafeteria, because my stomach was grumbling so hard it was embarrassing. I spaced out, so I didn’t see the doors open before I crashed into somebody’s hard chest.

  “I’m so sorry,” I mutter, humiliation heating my cheeks. Then the all-familiar scent of the ocean assaults my nostrils, and my hands recognize the hard chest beneath them. The hard chest I was leaning against only this morning.

  Slowly, I lift my gaze until it settles on hard, unreadable eyes.

  “C-Caleb,” I stutter, surprised that out of all people, I had to stumble right into him.

  Figures.

  He nods curtly, taking a step back.

  Then I see her. Tucked beneath his hand and close to his chest. Her perfectly curled, dark brown hair bouncing off her shoulders, make-up accentuating her bright blue eyes.

  Hurt like I haven’t felt before slams into me. It burns in my veins, and I can feel it in every cell of my body. Hurt and something else. Something unnerving and ugly eating at me from the inside out.

  Jealousy.

  The realization hits me hard, but I hold it back. My lips press into a tight line as I shake my head in disappointment and walk around them quickly. I can’t look at him like that. It would be hard enough to see him in school or on the beach alone, but with some other girl?

  No. Just no.

  So much for this all not being a sham, Noel.

  Quickly, I grab something to eat. I don’t see what, but I don’t care either, because I lost my appetite along the way. I pay for my food and start walking, looking for a place to sit, but I’m so lost in my thoughts, I don’t see Noel waving at me or Ty coming my way.

  “Hey, are you okay?” His hands land on my shoulders. They’re almost as big as Caleb’s but don’t feel the same. Not quite right.

  I lift my gaze to look at his face. Blue eyes shine with worry, and he nervously nibbles at his lip, probably wondering whether I’ll lose it or not.

  “I’m…” I look around myself, as if waking from a dream. Only this dream is a nightmare. Probing eyes stare at me from all sides. I can feel hundreds of curious glances looking at me at this moment. Sighing, I tune them out and concentrate on Taylor. “I’m fine.”

  “Are you sure? Caleb…”

  “Caleb can do whatever the hell he wants.” I stop him from saying anything else. “I’m hungry and half the break is already done. Talk to you later?”

  For a second longer he looks at me before nodding his head in agreement. “Sure, later.”

  I turn on my feet and walk to my best friend.

  “What the hell was that?” Noel asks as soon as I slide into the seat opposite hers.

  Thank God, today she’s sitting alone, because I’m not ready to be in the company of other people. Or any company, but I’m not running away from here. Now that everybody knows Caleb and I broke up, they’ll expect a spectacle. This town lives for drama, but I’m not going to be the one giving it to them.

  “Nothing.” I shrug and start picking at my food, pretending I’m interested in eating while the mere sight of food makes my stomach crawl in disgust. “Caleb and I broke up. I told you that.”

  “So he can have a hussy on his arm first thing the next morning?”

  “It’s afternoon,” I point out, which only enrages her more.

  “Don’t you dare patronize me, Marissa Davenport.” Noel wiggles her finger in my direction, her brown eyes tight slits. “He’s acting like a jackass, and you know it!”

  “We were never actually together, Noel,” I hiss quietly in her direction. “It was all a sham to get Taylor to notice me, and it’s working, so we broke things off. I’m sure Caleb was just waiting for the deal to be done so he could go back to his womanizing ways.”

  I lean in my chair, pushing away the platter in front of me. If I didn’t do it, I’d probably get sick and then the real assumptions would begin. Not only would I be dumped by the hottest guy in the school, I’d probably also be pregnant with his baby.

  Which I’m not, just to clarify.

  “It’s not right,” she insists stubbornly.

  Sighing, I look at her angry face. She’s angry for me, her best friend, her sister. And I can’t help but feel lucky. Lucky I have this amazing person in my life who will take my side no matter what.

  I take her hand in mine, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

  “A lot of things aren’t right, but they still keep happening. There is no helping it.”

  “How can you be so calm?”

  “I’m not.” I lift my gaze from our joined hands and look her in the eyes. “I’m just good at pretending.”

  Caleb

  The sound of footsteps marching up the stairs is so loud I can hear it even with my headphones in my ears and the music blasting. Taking them off, I turn in my chair, just in time for my door to open and Taylor to barge into my room.

  He’s breathing hard, but I think it has more to do with the anger rolling off of him in waves than actual p
hysical exertion.

  “What do you think you’re doing, dumbass?” he demands. His hands are by his sides, fingers curling into fists until his knuckles become white before he makes himself release the tension, only to do it again.

  Taylor is pissed.

  “What do you think you are doing?” I ask him, leaning more into my chair.

  My pose should be relaxed, as if there is nothing in this world that could get a rise out of me, but I know better. My muscles are tense, and I’m just waiting for Ty to make the first move.

  “Why do you have to be such a dick, Lawrence?” Taylor’s jaw is clenching so hard I’m surprised he hasn’t broken any of his teeth. “Whatever happened, Risa doesn’t deserve to be treated like you’re treating her.”

  His words sting, and I feel my own hands clench tightly. I get out of the chair and stand in front of him, raising to my full height. We’re almost even. Almost but not quite and I use those couple of inches to my advantage.

  “You don’t know shit, so don’t you…”

  “I don’t know shit?” He stops me mid-sentence, his finger stabbing into my chest. “I don’t know shit? You’ve been all over her for weeks now, and suddenly you two break up and the very next day you have a girl hanging off your arm? Nobody deserves that kind of shit, especially not somebody like Risa.”

  “Marissa’s the one who broke it off with me. Not the other way around.”

  Ty opens his mouth, only to close it at the loss of the words.

  “Shocking, right?”

  “It doesn’t make sense. Why would she do that? You were so happy.”

  I chuckle, although there isn’t anything funny about the whole situation. “You don’t know her at all.” I shake my head. “How can you be so blind?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Marissa is in love with you, you idiot. She’s been in love with you for years.”

  “But…”

  He looks so confused that if it were a different situation I’d sympathize with him, but it’s not and I don’t. Ty doesn’t deserve Marissa, but he’s the one she wants so it’s not like I can do anything about it. I tried, I really did, but now it’s too late.