Handle Me

by Kira Sinclair

  Van’s heart broke. It was a familiar sensation, but somehow far more acute today.

  The slam of Ty’s car door as he got out made Van jump. The sound felt loud, inappropriate considering what had sent Kaia running.

  Kaia’s body twitched. Slowly, her head moved, just enough so that those big brown eyes could take them in as they approached.

  Ty, ahead of Van by several steps, began talking in a low, soothing voice. Words of comfort and reassurance. How many times had she used a similar tone with a scared patient in the ER?

  He closed in, crouching down beside Kaia. Slowly, he moved his hands over her body, methodically checking for any sign that she was injured...at least injured physically.

  After the way Kaia had reacted to those firecrackers, it was obvious she was carrying plenty of emotional scars. Just like the rest of them.

  When he was satisfied she wasn’t hurt, Ty plopped down onto the grass beside her. He stretched out, pillowing his own hands behind his head.

  The sight of the dog and the man together, with that stark gray stone standing tall behind them, sent something sharp lancing through Van’s chest.

  “What’s your plan? To stay out here with her all night?” Her voice was harsh, and yet weak. Filled with emotion she didn’t want to feel, but couldn’t stop.

  It hurt. The whole thing hurt.

  And she was so damn tired of hurting.

  “Nope. That would just be asking for trouble. Fourth of July and all. Considering her reaction to a firecracker, she’s likely to lose her mind when the rest of the fireworks start going off later tonight.”

  Shit. She hadn’t even thought that far ahead.

  “Okay, so what is the plan?”

  “I’m going to sit here with her for a few minutes until I’m sure she’s calm and then we’re going to take her home. We’ll deal with tonight when it comes.”

  We’ll. Not her and Kaia. Not even him and Kaia. The three of them together.

  There was a part of her that instinctively wanted to protest, to tell him she didn’t need his help. To push him away and give herself the space she desperately needed. But the fruitless act of bravado would only hurt Kaia.

  And Van wasn’t willing to do that.

  The dog had been through enough today. So Van would ignore her own aches and pains if it meant doing what Kaia needed. She bit her tongue and nodded her head.

  Crossing her arms over her chest, Van stared down at the man and the dog. She tried not to let her gaze stray to the headstone sitting silently, just a few feet away. But it was difficult.

  Ryan Nicholas Cantrell

  Beloved son, brother and soldier.

  The words were simple. Maybe too simple. They did a poor job of summing up her brother’s life. His sense of adventure and unwavering loyalty. The way he’d take up any cause when he felt like someone was being taken advantage of...a trait he’d picked up from Ty, actually.

  It did nothing to convey the sound of his laughter or the way he’d tormented her the first time she’d gone out on a date. Nor did it touch on the way he’d consoled her when that same boy had broken her heart four months later, making her laugh even through her tears by offering to break the guy’s kneecaps.

  And, yet, they were the most important words about his life. He had been loved, by everyone who knew him.

  Reaching behind him, Ty pulled the baseball cap that her mother had left just this morning off the edge of the memorial.

  “God, I remember this hat. He wouldn’t take the damn thing off during senior year.”

  A choked laugh slipped through Van’s tight throat.

  She watched Ty’s hands, hulking and strong, bend and straighten the bill. It was from Baylor University...where Ryan had planned to play until their stupid stunt cost him his football scholarship.

  Ryan was good, but not good enough to overcome the bad publicity of an arrest, even if the charges had eventually been dropped. Mostly because everyone knew they’d been guilty.

  “I really wish I could go back and do it all over again. I never would have told him what I was planning that night.”

  No, she couldn’t do this. Not right now. Not here.

  Turning on her heel, Van headed for the car, but Ty’s words followed her anyway.

  “You know, I didn’t even ask him to come with me. I was just telling him what I was going to do. And he...showed up. I tried to argue with him. I mean, it was my problem to deal with. My crusade. But it didn’t matter.”

  No, it wouldn’t have.

  Her feet refused to move. They just stopped, and despite the fact that she wanted to run away—as Kaia had done earlier—she couldn’t make her body respond.

  Instead, she found herself turning back to the man, the dog and the headstone she couldn’t escape. She wanted to scream at Ty. If he’d just kept his big mouth shut, they wouldn’t be here right now, at her brother’s grave. Van’s gaze pulled to Kaia. With her brother’s wounded dog.

  “Like he would have let you do that alone.”

  The idiots.

  During a class project sophomore year, Ty had become involved with a local animal shelter. They were severely understaffed, underfunded and overrun with animals. Whenever he wasn’t working or at school, chances were you could find him at the shelter.

  Van had thought the shelter provided him an escape; the dogs and cats he took care of gave him unconditional love and affection when he rarely received that from anyone else in his life.

  It didn’t matter that he did the grunt work, cleaning cages, washing dogs, scooping litter. Ty did it without complaint and without compensation.

  The staff at the shelter were great...until the manager left and the city brought on someone new. The guy had taken one look at the overcrowding and decided a large number of the animals needed to be euthanized.

  Ty had a fit, campaigning tirelessly to stop the intended killing. He even organized half the school to show up at a city council meeting, begging them to pass a law making the shelter no-kill. He managed to delay the action for a little while, but it was inevitable. The city just didn’t have the funds to provide for the animals.

  Van had watched frustration and anger build inside Ty, recognizing both emotions as a facade covering up the grief and pain he was so adept at hiding. And she was frustrated because there was nothing she could do to help him.

  The night before the vet was scheduled to come and put the animals down, Ty broke into the shelter and took them, in a last-ditch effort to save their lives.

  Loading twelve dogs into the back of his pickup, he and Ryan drove them to the outskirts of town and set them free.

  No, it wasn’t the best option, but in their minds it was better than watching them die.

  But an eyewitness came forward, so they were quickly caught. And so were the animals, eventually being put down anyway.

  That was the heartbreaking part. Watching Ty and Ryan both pay for the attempt when it was fruitless.

  The staff at the shelter, everyone but the manager, had all showed up in court to lobby for Ty and Ryan.

  The judge had decided to be lenient, charging them with a misdemeanor and sentencing them to community service.

  No one could have anticipated the ripple of repercussions for Ryan’s life.

  There was the rub. Van wanted to be so pissed with both Ty and Ryan. Had even managed it for several years. But how could she stay angry with either of them when their hearts had been in the right place? They’d done something seriously stupid, but they’d done it for the right reasons.

  If she was being honest, she’d actually stopped blaming Ty years ago, recognizing that Ryan had been old enough to make his own choices, regardless of the consequences. But she’d used the incident to keep Ty at arm’s length. To protect herself from the certa
in heartache that would come from giving in to her conflicting emotions.

  Ty sighed, murmured, “I’m sorry,” and then replaced the hat on the headstone. It was clear those words weren’t meant for her, but they still reverberated through her body like a punch.

  Pushing to his feet, Ty looked down at Kaia and issued the command to heel.

  She just rolled those deep brown eyes up at him and stubbornly stayed put.

  A frown tugged at his full lips. “Kaia, heel,” he said again, his voice with a harder edge.

  This time, the dog dropped her gaze to the ground, as if she could ignore him if she didn’t see him.

  Hooking a hand into Kaia’s harness, Ty gently pulled. Kaia resisted, using the weight of her body to stay right where she was. Ty pulled harder, raising her up onto her haunches.

  Kaia’s body went limp and she whimpered.

  The knot Van had been fighting since they drove up grew to the point where she felt like it was choking her. She couldn’t breathe.

  Bending down, Ty scooped Kaia into his arms.

  She didn’t struggle. She just lay lifelessly against his body. As Ty turned, her head tracked, her gaze lingering on Ryan’s grave.

  “Open the door for me,” Ty said, his voice low and gruff.

  Van rushed ahead, opened the door to the backseat and turned in time to watch the man stride across the soft green grass, a seventy-five-pound dog cradled in his arms like she weighed no more than a teacup Chihuahua.

  But the expression on his face nearly killed her. Every bit of pain he was feeling splashed across his features. Grief cut grooves around his mouth. And his stormy-blue eyes raged with turmoil.

  It wasn’t the first time Van had seen that expression on his face. Hell, the boy she’d known had been no stranger to pain—both physical and emotional.

  But it looked out of place on a man who now carried such strength and confidence.

  Maybe it was the innate healer inside her, but she wanted to make it better.

  He set Kaia gently onto the seat, made sure she was comfortable and then closed the car door.

  Standing, he pressed his hands against the roof of the car and hung his head. Weariness coated him like a blanket.

  Reaching for him, Van cupped his cheek in her palm and turned his face so she could look straight into his eyes. The agony there nearly had her knees buckling.

  Four months ago he’d been there for her, giving her exactly what she’d needed at the moment she’d been her weakest. Could she do any less for him right now?

  Pushing up onto her toes, Van pressed her mouth to his.

  The kiss was sweet, soothing. The gift of simple comfort. At least, it started out that way.

  But one moment she was offering him solace, and the next her back was pressed against the side of the car and his hard body was flush against hers.

  Her head spun. They touched from shoulders to hips to knees.

  He was demanding. Heat. Need. He poured everything inside her, all the pent-up frustration, grief and passion.

  She could feel herself losing control. As if she’d ever really had it to begin with.

  Her body went liquid, giving him a soft place to land. Her fists curled into his shirt. And she opened for him.

  Whatever he needed, she’d give.

  They were both panting when he finally pulled back. His forehead pressed to hers, he whispered against her lips, “We need to get Kaia home.”

  8

  THE ENTIRE WORLD was out of control. Hell.

  Nick’s words from the other day echoed through Ty’s head as he sat in Van’s passenger seat heading for her house.

  What did he want?

  His body wanted Van. Clearly, since his dick was throbbing incessantly from nothing more than a few powerful kisses.

  But his brain knew he should keep his hands off her. The Cantrells were the only family he really had. By some miracle, they didn’t seem to blame him for Ryan’s death, even though everyone knew he was indirectly responsible. If he messed with Van...

  And, when it got right down to it, there was no longevity in whatever this was between them.

  Van was intelligent, forthright, so much better than he was. And her friendship, even if he’d screwed it up years ago, was important to him.

  She was Ryan’s little sister. So he needed to keep his goddamned hands to himself and concentrate on his reason for being here in the first place—Kaia.

  Twisting, Ty took in the dog stretched across the backseat. She was miserable. You didn’t need to be an expert dog handler to know that. Her eyes were sad and downcast, her body language lethargic and listless.

  Pulling into the garage, Van shot from the car. It was difficult to miss the rosy flush of passion that still colored her creamy skin. She avoided looking straight at him. Ty wanted to crowd her up against the wall, right then and there beside the spotless workbench with the tools neatly organized above.

  Instead, he went to the backseat and reached in for Kaia.

  She didn’t protest or attempt to jump out of his arms, something that told him just how upset she really was. Her tags jangled as her head settled against his shoulder. She was big and heavy, but Ty barely noticed as he followed Van inside.

  The large crate he’d brought in a couple days ago had been set up in the living room. The door stood open, the bottom covered in soft blankets with a camo pattern.

  Ty set Kaia down, glanced at the bedding and then at Van. Raising a single eyebrow, his lips quirked up into a half smile.

  “What? I thought maybe it would be familiar. Make her feel more at home.”

  “Savannah Cantrell, underneath that take-no-nonsense, straight-laced exterior you’re just a huge softy.”

  She made a rude sound in the back of her throat, turned and disappeared into the kitchen. A minute later she reappeared with Kaia’s bowls, one filled not with dog food, but shredded chicken, peas and carrots.

  “You’re going to spoil her,” he warned.

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Her tone taunted him to say more.

  Instead, Ty ducked his head to hide the smile he couldn’t avoid.

  Kaia sniffed at the bowl when Van set it beside her, but didn’t eat. Instead, she walked into the kennel and curled up, her head on her front leg.

  It was almost dark, the last rays of bright sunshine bleeding through the curtains to splash across the hardwood floor.

  “Anything I need to watch for tonight?” Van asked, her arms crossed protectively over her chest.

  She was putting up walls. He should let her. It was the best thing for both of them. But for some reason, the signs that she was pulling away made him want to smash through them even more.

  “Not really, since I’m not leaving.”

  “What do you mean you’re not leaving?”

  “Do you really think, after what happened today, that I’d leave either of you alone? Van, she freaked out at a single firecracker. I can’t imagine Watershed has changed all that much in the years I’ve been gone. In a few hours the entire place is gonna be lit up like a ninety-year-old’s birthday cake.”

  Van’s mouth tightened. Her shoulders stiffened. He could see the protest forming on her lips, was already waiting to counter it, but it never came.

  “Fine. But I’m not entertaining you.”

  “If that’s your way of saying you’re not sleeping with me, I’m already aware of that. If that’s your way of saying you’re not interested in killing time by surfing through old movies on Netflix, that’s also fine. I’m a big boy, Van. I can take care of myself.”

  Something flashed through her eyes, a bright flare that was there and gone before he could really analyze it.

  “Good.”

  “Great.”
<
br />   “But I suppose we both have to eat.”

  He watched as she bit her lip thoughtfully. “Eventually,” he said.

  “You stay with her. I’ll see what I can come up with for dinner.”

  She didn’t wait for his response before disappearing again into the kitchen. He really wanted a drink, but something told him it would be smarter to wait a little while before following her.

  Dropping down to the floor beside Kaia, Ty reached inside the cage and slowly stroked down her soft fur.

  “I don’t suppose you have any wisdom to share, you know, being a woman and all.”

  Kaia just rolled her soft brown eyes up to him. She snuffed, her entire body rising and falling with the motion.

  “Yeah, my thoughts exactly.”

  * * *

  THE NIGHT HAD been interminable. Van had thrown together a warm grilled chicken salad for dinner, wasting more time than necessary in the kitchen.

  She’d needed the space—not to mention the relief from Ty’s physical presence in her home.

  After that kiss they’d shared at the cemetery...her body’s signals were definitely going haywire.

  Part of her wanted to ask Ty what happened now. The rest of her wasn’t ready for the answer.

  So she’d curled into one of the side chairs in her den, flipping on the TV to watch some mindless show followed by some special highlighting the Fourth of July program in Boston. It didn’t matter which channel she picked, they were all showing the same thing. In deference to Kaia, Van muted the sound.

  Which only made the tension seeping into the room worse.

  Her entire body felt strung tight, ready to burst at the softest touch.

  Assuming that touch came from Ty’s hands.

  What bothered her more than anything was that he seemed completely oblivious.

  He was perfectly content to sit on her sofa and shovel the food she made into his mouth—only pausing long enough to praise her culinary skills and thank her for feeding him. He didn’t make any attempts to fill the silence with chit-chat or mindless drivel.

  Normally, that would have been a good thing. Her life was so hectic that when she did have a few minutes of downtime, she liked to just...breathe.