Role of a Lifetime: Out of Hollywood Romance

by Cora Davies

  "I only saw the one she got when you were here-the picture of the two of us." Eric thought about the red ink. "Did that ink end up being...?"

  "Blood. Sheep's blood specifically." A long pause followed Scott's statement. Hailey had sheep, but she did not say anything about one missing or injured. But then, did they know? Did the farm hands count their sheep every day? And why would someone send her a note written in blood?

  "Look man, either get her to tell you what's in those letters so you know what you're getting yourself into, or get out of there." Eric did not say anything. He looked down at his boot; the tip was stained dark from Bill's blood. "Eric?"

  "Yeah, I heard you." Eric hung up and slid the cell phone into his jeans back pocket.

  Over at the ambulance, the EMT seemed to be finishing his exam while a policewoman questioned Hailey. The EMT tossed a bag of gauze to his partner in the back of the trailer, and Hailey flinched as the small package passed by her head. The EMT did not seem to notice, but Eric's insides clenched.

  The policewoman touched Hailey's shoulder and asked her something. Hailey nodded, wide-eyed and fragile.

  Eric had only been gone an hour. That is how quickly life can change. Hailey had already lit something inside of him that wanted to change. If Hailey had not gotten away, the flame she lit would have been extinguished just as it struggled to find it's way into the rest of Eric.

  "Mr. James?" A young police officer approached Eric. No way this kid was any more than a year out of high school. Inexperienced and young-Eric swore he heard the man's voice crack. His name badge read, Officer Smith. "Have you thought of anything else you want to add to your statement?"

  "Nothing." Eric heard the cold in his voice and noticed the officer looked intimidated. He probably grew up watching my movies. He watched me kill a hundred bad guys and thought I was capable of anything. Anything short of protecting my girlf- Eric jerked himself from his thoughts before he could finish the word. Whatever Hailey was to him; he was sure girlfriend was not the right word.

  "If you think of anything, you can come down to the station whenever you want," the police officer said looking at his feet before handing him a piece of paper. "Do you mind? My sister-she's a huge fan."

  Eric grunted and scribbled his autograph rapidly across the blank page. The real world. Going days without signing an autograph had actually started to feel good. It started to feel natural. He handed the paper back to the kid.

  "Thank you, sir," Officer Smith said as he turned and walked back to the house. Eric still watched Hailey. Fear was invading his blood and he told himself it was because she had been hurt. But it was not about her-not really. He was afraid if he touched her or heard her voice, he would not want to leave her side. He would not be on the jet tomorrow and filming a new movie in a couple days. If she touched his shoulder, he'd stay. That was not the only thought that scared him. He was afraid to go, too. Afraid of what he would go back to being if he was not with her.

  Hailey smiled weakly at him waving him over. He pushed off the tailgate and walked to her-steeling himself against the protective beast that was forcing itself up from his core. With the next step, he reminded himself that he had a morning flight. Another step. Sandy's press would blow over almost instantly if Eric was gone. Another step. Without a movie star around there would be no story about Hailey for the tabloids. Another step. Their lives did not blend together. Another step. Hype City is waiting on Eric. Another step.

  He was a foot from her. He forced his eyes to match hers and not concentrate on the swelling and bruising on her face. I can't leave her.

  "I am so sorry," she said looking at his crotch where he still held the bag of peas. The bag felt mushy rather than frozen by then and was probably not doing any good. He dropped it to the ground.

  "Holy shit, Hailey," Eric said, gently grasping her shoulders. He did not know where all she was hurt yet and was afraid to hold her as tightly as he wanted. He studied her bruised face. "Don't apologize to me. That was a good kick. It would have done good if I had been another one of... whoever that was."

  "Officer Stricken is sure Bill is-was my stalker. The only one." There was something in her tone of voice that told Eric she did not believe Officer Stricken. The tone also said that Eric did not know the whole story. Just like Scott said.

  "Let's let Scott look everything over before we make any conclusions," Eric said more firmly than he meant to. He wanted to believe this was over, but he knew it was not that simple. "Either way, they're going to look for Ted. I knew there was something a little odd about the two of them."

  "Bogus you mean." Hailey smiled and Eric laughed in spite of his frustration.

  "What did they say about his cell phone? Anything to you?" Eric had wondered about the phone call. It had to mean something.

  "A disposable phone they said. They're going to try and trace the number that called in, but if that was disposable too..." Hailey trailed off. "They think it was just a coincidence."

  Eric heard the sarcasm in her voice. "More than one guy. There is something going on here other than-"

  "They said I need to go to the hospital and get checked out." Hailey interrupted. "Like a million X-rays, I'm sure. You should see about getting another hotel room. You have an early flight tomorrow-don't forget."

  Eric reached out and traced her cheekbone. Her bottom lip quivered as she looked away. "I can't leave you like this; you should know I'm not that kind of guy."

  Hailey burst into tears. Eric had wondered how long it would be before she released that dam. She was always holding these feelings back. Who had taught her to do that? "I don't know what I think anymore. I swear-I feel like a mess."

  "Well, if it helps... you look like a mess," Eric said and Hailey snorted through her tears.

  "I knew you were an asshole." But Eric was glad to see her smile, no matter what she called him. She pointed at the open ambulance. "Can you take me to the hospital so I don't have to ride in the back of this thing?"

  "Are we allowed to leave with all of these people still here?" he asked looking around at the emergency workers. A coroner's van just arrived.

  "They said I need to be checked out as soon as possible. " She looked pointedly at one of the police officers that had just arrived on scene. "I'm pretty sure he's already called Jason and told him what happened. They're poker buddies. Jason will lock up when they're done."

  "Small towns." Eric shook his head. "Let me get you to the hospital before Jason's list of reasons to hate me climbs up another notch."

  "He can't blame you for this."

  "He'll find a way." Eric reached out to carry Hailey in a cradle position, but she made a face and shook her head.

  "Just give me your arm so I can look like I'm leaning on you, and not like I'm a complete wimp," Hailey said.

  "You just took down a two-hundred-pound man, you are anything but a wimp Hailey Rogers." Eric wrapped his arm around Hailey's waist and helped her walk to the truck.

  "I didn't take him down; his own big feet did that."

  At the door, he refused to let her push him away as he picked her up and placed her in the passenger seat. No sooner had he started the truck when Hailey's phone rang.

  Hailey answered and Eric could hear Rebecca's voice-loud and frantic. Hailey flinched and held the phone away from her ear. "Mom, I'm fine-"

  Eric tried not to eavesdrop as Hailey spoke with her mother, but he could not help it. He felt protective of her, now more than ever. As he listened to her explain the events of the night again, he gripped the steering wheel so tight he felt like he might lose circulation in his fingers.

  ***

  Eric collapsed next to Hailey on the hotel room bed. Eric was fresh from the shower in a clean pair of boxer briefs and Hailey was in a restless sleep. He pulled into the first hotel he found after leaving the hospital. Not only were they both exhausted, but there would be a mess in the living room neither one of them wanted to deal with tonight. He trailed her arm with his finge
rtips, wanting to hold onto her close. Her eyes fluttered open.

  "You smell better." She smiled. "I don't know what was worse... all those damn x-rays or having to smell your stinky ass. Did you have a cigarette at the hospital?"

  Eric did not answer. He had helped Hailey change out of her clothes into a hospital gown. When he saw the boot print shaped bruise in between her shoulder blades, it was all he could do not to smash a window. He decided to find the break area and bum a cigarette off a nurse instead. She seemed pretty excited to give Eric James a cigarette. At least, someone had a good night.

  "I'm glad you're feeling better," he said quietly. She was laying in one of his white tank tops and a pair of underwear. "Can I get you anything?"

  "No, I'm pretty doped up from the lovely pain killers the nice doctor gave me. I don't think I could eat or drink anything right now. No, I could eat it, but it wouldn't stay down."

  "Are you a lightweight, Hailey Rogers?" Eric asked smiling. "That was the last thing I expected to hear from you."

  "Just when it comes to things in needles. Aren't you a lightweight when it comes to needles?" Hailey's hands were in front of her face. She turned them slowly and seemed to be inspecting them as if they were new.

  Eric frowned. They had been so physically intimate since he met her-in a way so different than he had been with other women. There was still so much Hailey and Eric did not know about each other. His mind went back to his conversation with Scott earlier about the letters. They were both people living in their secrets. No matter what he wanted from Hailey, they could not move forward without knowing more about each other. "I'm going to tell you something; it can't leave this room."

  Hailey dropped her hands to her chest and her eyes went wide with faked innocence. "Didn't we agree to keep each others secrets?"

  Eric rolled on his back and looked at the cheap popcorn ceiling. There was a dent in the ceiling in the shape of Maine, and he studied it like it was the most interesting thing in the world. He could not look at her when he said this. "This is the longest I've been sober in years."

  Hailey did not say anything and the silence stretched on. He wondered what she would say if he told her there was some truth to many of the rumors about his wild parties. If she had been able, he was sure she would walk out of the room. He stole a glance at her from the corner of his eye.

  She was still looking at Eric but he could not read anything in her expression. It was empty. He rolled to his side. "Since I was sixteen I feel like I've been high-unless I was on the job. My acting-pretending to be someone else-it replaces the drugs. If the character I'm playing doesn't need it, then I don't need it. That's why I'm always on set. Why I almost never turn a movie down. Then I got here... and I haven't used once."

  Hailey reached out and Eric thought she was going to run her fingers through his hair. But she flicked him on the forehead. "Because you're on the job here-playing pretend."

  Eric pulled away from her and stood up, rubbing his forehead. He had to pace to physically force each word out. "I'm not on the job Hailey, please don't say that. I was when I first got here, but then you walked in the room... I haven't felt like I was on the job since the night you took me to the bar. You were humming off-key to Say It Ain't So-"

  "That was the Weezer song..."

  "-I didn't even know it was possible to hum off key." Eric ran his hands through his hair as he reached the other end of the room. He turned to walk back to the bed again. Those bruises made such a statement of contradiction from how strong and brave she had been fighting Bill. "I haven't been on the job since that moment. I feel like... I may have only known you a week-but it's been forever, too. I can't figure out why. Is it because I've read your books? They were all written with your voice, and your voice seems to soothe me. Is that what fans mean when they say they feel like they know me already?"

  Eric felt like the words were tumbling out of his mouth and he could not hold them back. He knelt down on the floor, resting his elbows on the mattress. "Whatever it is, in the few days since I've met you I feel like you've made me a better man."

  A tear slid out of the corner of Hailey's eye and fell on the pillow. She shivered once and he stood, pulling the sheet and blankets up around her shoulders before kneeling back on the ground. Hailey took in a labored but deep breath. "No one can make someone else a better man. You have to do that for yourself."

  He shook his head. "This isn't me-this is what you've done to me. I'm so scared that when I go back..."

  Hailey reached out and grabbed Eric's hand. She winced in pain at her own quick movement. "Eric, this isn't about me. This is about you, and only you. This is your life. Maybe Hollywood is too toxic for you, and maybe the reason you feel so close to me-like you know me when you don't..." She squeezed her eyes tight for a second. "It's because I'm Addy."

  "You're Addy?"

  "The Passenger's Control was Paul's life. I wrote it to work through my emotions after he died. I never expected it would be published. Let alone become a bestseller. Let alone that it would lead to Eric James banging on my door. I would never have let my mom convince me to send off the manuscript for a critique. Not if I had known all this would happen. Paul didn't belong to just me after that, but I still tried to hold him close like he did. I have been living in Thomas and Addy's shadow for so long. Like I would never let go and never breathe on my own again." She was talking slower now and Eric could tell the pain medication was making her sleepy. "I think I had to let go."

  "So everything in that book, that was your life?" Eric felt his head spinning. Why had she not said anything sooner? He remembered what Jason said to him that night out in the field, the first night Eric had kissed Hailey. Jason said going after this book would only cause more confusion for Hailey. That made sense now. He wanted to play her husband on the screen; at the same time, he worked his way into her bed.

  Hailey kept talking as if she had not heard Eric. "I had to give away the rights and let go of the little piece of my life with Paul. I am living in his shadow. But now I have to deal with Paul's... Paul's life coming back from the grave to attack me in my living room."

  "Hailey, I think the drugs are doing more to your head than just making you tired." Eric was confused by Hailey's words and did not want to hear anymore until the morning. When she could explain what she meant.

  "The letters aren't in the book." Hailey closed her eyes one last time.

  "The letters? I am pretty sure the book is filled with letters. And words. And page numbers. And even some complete sentences." Eric rubbed her shoulder, hoping the gentle touch would coax her the rest of the way to sleep. She was confused. It was not hard to believe that between the pain killers in her system and the adrenaline wearing off, that she would start to speak nonsensically. Eric was feeling pretty tired himself.

  He lay down next to her, watching her for a few minutes as she slept. It was not long before he drifted off too. Eric's sleep was restless and full of dreams of bloody sheep leaping over fences.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  With the warm sun on his bare back, Eric awoke and stretched reaching to Hailey's side of the bed. His arm fell across her pillow and when he opened his eyes he saw dust floating in the streaming sunlight-but no Hailey. The emptiness made his heart slam against his ribcage. He had not slept well last night; he continuously woke up with the feeling someone was watching them sleep. He sat up.

  "You're right," Hailey said. She was sitting at the edge of the bed before the tiny hotel table sipping a cup of coffee. Three trays of various food sat in front of her ranging from breads and pastries, to breakfast meats and eggs, and a large tray of fruit.

  "Of course, I'm right." Eric smiled and forced his heartbeat to slow to a normal pace before she could tell he had woken up disorientated and needing her. Needing to make sure she was all right. Her bruises were darker this morning. "But, about what specifically this time?"

  "When I mention your name they'll do anything for you at the front desk." She pick
ed up a chocolate donut and spun it on her finger. "They don't even have donuts here. I don't know where they got this from. And the rest is from their continental breakfast-which I didn't even have to go downstairs and get."

  He snorted, amused at her excitement. "It's called room service."

  "No, I'm telling you... normal-people hotels don't do stuff like this."

  Eric got out of bed and stretched, as Hailey's eyes ran over his body. His body was tired and stiff from another night in a cheap motel bed, and he looked forward to getting back into his own twenty-thousand-dollar mattress. Maybe he could buy one for Hailey too?

  "My eyes are up here," he joked. She blushed and looked back to her plate. He immediately wished she was still staring at his body. "Hey, I was kidding."

  He crossed the small room and stood behind her, pulling her hair away from her neck to kiss her. He almost jumped at the sight of the bruises from Bill's hand around her neck. He touched her gingerly first to test the waters. When she did not protest his touch, he kissed her from the bottom of her earlobe to the point where her neck met her shoulders.

  She purred. "Good morning."

  Eric pulled the other chair up to the table and sat down next to Hailey. He wanted to drag her into the bed, have her body one last time. He knew with the state she was in, he would hurt her too easily. He grabbed a piece of bacon and began to chew. The TV was on; the volume was so low Eric just now realized it was on. The news anchor was reporting that Jon Duncan and the other helicopter passengers were declared dead. He felt a moment of sadness for the lives lost.

  "I'm sorry." Hailey motioned to the TV with her donut finger. "You knew him, didn't you?"

  "When we were young," Eric said. He set the bacon down and began to snap it into tiny pieces. There seemed to be a million choices he had to make today. "They offered me his role in this movie, Hype City-"

  "Hype City?" Hailey asked with surprise.

  "You've heard of it?" Eric did not figure Hailey for one to follow movie news. She shrugged.