From A Distance
Page 22
Tyler meets me at eye level.
“I swear to God I never touched her. Never!”
“Then why do you owe her? Why is she your responsibility?”
His chest rises and falls in defeat.
“I should’ve warned her.” He shakes his head sadly and blows out a puff of air. “I should’ve protected her from him.”
I swallow the bitter, venom-filled words, keeping them locked away. I don’t want to hurt him even though my heart is shredding.
“It’s not your job to protect her. Or me for that matter.”
The hard expression on his face indicates his disagreement.
“I love you so I will protect you.”
“And what about her? Did you love her?”
Tyler closes the space between our bodies and brings his face centimeters away from mine. I can feel the heat radiating from his skin.
“Listen to me and listen good because I have two things to tell you. One, I have never in my life touched that woman.” His eyes tighten momentarily. “Ever.”
Softness and love replace the hardness of his countenance.
“I love you. I love you so much I can hardly see straight sometimes. I love you so much and the thought of ever losing you chokes me and I feel like I can’t breathe.
My chin quivers as my emotions burst at the seams. I throw my arms around his neck, burying my face into his chest and sob quietly. His hands rub circles on my back as he consoles me with loving words.
I wipe my nose with the back of my hand and look up at this incredible man.
“You smell like her.” I smile sadly.
“Want me to roll in the dirt? You know I’ll do it just to get rid of the smell.”
I slap his chest playfully, stilling my hand over his heart then tapping it twice.
“You’re a good man, Tyler Strong.”
“You are the better half of me. You make me feel strong. You make me feel like I can do anything in the world.”
I absorb his words and embrace him once again.
“She’s not as nice as you think she is.”
“I never said she was nice. I’ve seen first-hand how vicious she can be.”
In agreement, I nod and tell him about the bathroom incident the day before. “She’s not worth it. I actually feel sorry for her daughter and the new one on the way.”
“Me too.”
Something in Tyler’s voice raises questions in my mind.
“Are you giving her money? Are you supporting her?”
Gone is the sun-kissed glow when Tyler’s face pales. Blinking rapidly, I can almost see his thought process working.
“Yes and no.” He releases a deep exhale.
My body, from the hair on my head to the tips of my toes, tenses.
“Let’s go inside,” he says, glancing at the few people meandering around, all within earshot of us.
“I want you to tell me everything, Tyler. Everything.”
He holds my gaze before nodding once.
***
TYLER LEADS ME by the hand to the truck before opening the door.
“Give me two minutes,” he says when Penny walks over.
If her goal was to drive a wedge between us, she failed miserably. Our bond is stronger than ever.
I suppress a chuckle when she leans in for a hug and Tyler steps back out of her reach.
He climbs into the truck and starts the engine, briefly checking for any other vehicles as we pull out of the nearly empty parking lot. Tapping the dial on the radio, Tyler finds a country station. Tim McGraw sings about being humble and kind.
I smile, thinking about how the song describes Tyler perfectly.
“Tell me everything.”
Tyler’s hand turns palm up, seeking its mate.
I lace my fingers with his and squeeze, reassuring him that I’m ready to hear why he’s supporting my ex-husband’s lover and baby mama.
“I knew what he was like better than anyone. I knew what his plan was.”
I feel an ache in my heart.
“The day I brought her in to the clinic, she was terrified. She knew he didn’t want kids and would force her to have an abortion. She saw him as a way out of her life. She thought if she could give him something you couldn’t, he would stay. I felt sorry for her.”
“But…” I start but then say nothing, choosing to listen instead.
“What?”
“It’s not that I couldn’t have kids, he never wanted them and… we didn’t have sex often.”
Tyler looks upward as if seeking help from God.
“When he found out she was pregnant, he went berserk and beat the crap out of her.”
I cringe, a cold shiver running through my veins.
“She threatened to tell you. She even called your phone once, but I snatched it away. I could hear you on the other end and I wanted so much to tell you to leave him. I wanted to tell you to run as far away as you could.”
“Why are we talking about this? Alex is dead. He doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. Nothing.”
“Before he died, he changed his mind and promised he would take care of her and the baby. I knew then that he was going to leave you. I tried so hard to wrap my mind around the fact he was leaving you for her. You were perfect and he was willing to walk away.”
Hearing Tyler recall the story fills me with sorrow, but produces a renewed sense of strength.
“When he left everything in his will to me, I didn’t want it. None of it. Not a single dime. The only thing of his that I ever wanted was you.”
He brings our linked hands to his mouth and places a soft kiss.
“Because he said he would take care of her and the baby, I wanted to honor that. It’s not that little girl’s fault her father was an asshole. I asked Roger to set up a college fund for her. I wanted to give her the opportunities her mother never had.”
“Why was she yelling at you tonight?”
“Because she’s flat broke with another kid on the way. She wants the money now not when the kid goes off to college.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to ask Roger for advice, but I’ll probably have him cut her a check for the lump sum. Then I’ll be done with her.” He turns to me. “What do you think?”
I chuckle darkly. “I think you’re a much better person than I am.”
After a quick stop at a local BBQ restaurant, we trek back home, talking about anything and everything, never once again mentioning Penny and Alex. During the middle of the night, the stifled emotions emerge and I end up bent over the toilet, purging my dinner and my hatred for Alex Parker.
“OH MY GOD, Pam!” I laugh as Tyler pokes his head through the open window of my car, his crossed arms resting high on the top of the door frame. His bare chest fills the open space.
“Call me on your lunch break.”
I click my seat belt in place after sending an emoji in reply to Pam’s inappropriate text and drop my phone in my purse before looking at him.
“Babe, that’s not until two o’clock in the morning and you’ll be sleeping.”
“I’ll be up working on my bike. They need to drain the gas and change the plugs.”
My nose wrinkles with curiosity as I lean over for another kiss, the hold of the restraint limits my reach.
“But last week I thought your bike went faster than it’s ever gone and you set the new track record.”
“It did,” he confirms confidently.
“So why are you changing things on your bike then?”
“Because records are meant to be broken.”
I raise my eyebrows and widen my eyes. “Yeah… just as long as you don’t get broken!”
***
“WHAT A BUSY night!” Odessa grumbles, throwing herself onto the vinyl-covered seat, stretching her legs out on the table. I look over my shoulder and eye her black Crocs, commenting that she needs to buy new ones based on the worn sole.
“Oh shut it!”
“I make ends meet. I cut corners when I need to.”
The counter is covered with a smorgasbord of ethnic foods for our monthly pot luck dinner. I reach for the ladle and scoop some of Odessa’s Guyanese stew over yellow rice.
“Take that dish you’re about to eat, for example.”
After combining the gravy and rice, I look at her while shoving yet another forkful into my mouth. I hum my appreciation for the savory meal.
“Mmm…so good.”
“It’s goat liver.”
My stomach immediately revolts and I gag, spitting the food back onto the paper plate. I gargle half a bottle of water and rinse my mouth out over the sink. Turning to face her, I wipe my mouth and give her a horrible side eye.
“Why would you do that?”
Clutching her stomach, Odessa laughs.
“It was on sale.”
I dry heave and press my hand against my stomach.
“That’s disgusting!”
“But you said it was so good.”
“Yeah, but that was before I knew it was goat liver. Who the hell eats that crap anyway?”
“My people.”
She rises and stands next to me as she jabs her palms over her eyes, wiping away tears of laughter.
“Oh God, that was funny!”
Perusing the dessert table, she reaches for an Italian cookie with white icing, but I slap it out of her hand.
“No dessert for you!”
“Don’t be such a baby! I’ve made this before and you loved it.”
“I hate you!” I walk over and toss my dinner into the garbage.
“You love me.”
Hours later, my stomach reminds me that I ate goat liver and rises once again in opposition, sending me sprinting to the nearest bathroom.
“I think you poisoned me,” I bark at Odessa as we walk side by side to the waiting ambulance.
“Good Lord, woman, you’re fine.” She rolls her eyes dramatically.
“Says the goat liver eater from Guyana.”
“Maybe you’re pregnant.”
The EMTs unload a man in his early thirties, his neck fastened securely by a brace. His moans emerge as he cries out in apology. It’s reported that he is the cause of a motor vehicle accident involving alcohol. He is the drunk driver who crossed the road and slammed into a tree.
The scene is familiar and still heartbreaking.
Thirty-three minutes later, he is pronounced dead.
Overwhelmed by the death of a stranger, I find a storage closet and sob. I cry for the man whose life ended. I cry for the family now left behind. I cry for missed opportunities and chances not taken.
In this moment, I need Tyler. I need to hear his voice. I need to know he is alive and well.
“Hey babe. I was just going to text you.” The quiet tone of his voice indicates his fatigue.
I open my mouth to speak, but only silence emerges.
“Karrie, you okay?”
I quickly nod my head, not realizing he can’t see me so I muster the strength and release a squeaked “yes.” My single word resembles that of a small mouse.
“Are you crying? Are you hurt?”
I swallow hard and reply, “No.”
The shuffling sound on the other end of the phone makes me think he’s getting dressed.
“Where are you? I’m on my way.”
“No, it’s okay,” I say quietly, sighing into the phone. “I just needed to talk to you. I needed to hear your voice.”
“What happened?”
I desperately long to step into his arms and be comforted by him.
“A man died tonight. It reminded me of—”
He exhales and murmurs, “I understand. I don’t think you’ll ever get over seeing Alex die.”
“Alex?” I gasp. “This isn’t about Alex. This is about you.”
I slide down against the door and pull my knees to my chest.
“Tyler, that night when you were brought in, I worked on you. I held your heart in my hands and prayed so hard that you’d live. I didn’t understand why I needed you to live. I didn’t know then that you were the other half of me.”
Tears flow freely down my face and I hear Tyler sniff then clear his throat.
The door knob jiggles and I hear my name being called.
“I have to get back to work.”
I stand and wipe my face with my hands.
“I’ll be up for a while so call me back if you can.”
“Okay,” I agree.
“I love you, Karrie.”
“I love you more.”
“Impossible.”
I picture his grin as he says the word.
Odessa stands before me when I open the door.
“What’s wrong?”
Choosing not to answer, I smile and shake my head.
“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” she sneers. “You’ve been all emotional and shit.”
I laugh but then freeze in my tracks. Blinking rapidly, I mentally consider her words.
“Actually…I don’t think it’s the goat liver that’s bothering my stomach. I think I might have morning sickness.”
Her dark arm links with mine and she drags me down the hall to an empty bathroom.
“Here.” She hands me a small empty container. “Go pee.”
***
I DRIVE HOME in a fog while the rising sun burns off the early morning dew. My sense of awareness is acute, everything I see looks different. I glance at the trees in full bloom and think about the never-ending cycle of life, knowing a baby grows in me. Tyler’s child. Our child.
After kicking off my shoes, I crawl into bed beside him and watch him sleep. The gentle rise and fall of his chest signals his serenity. My fingers itch to caress his face as my mind wonders about what this child will look like.
Will she have his bluish-green eyes? Will he have darker hair like mine?
Tyler’s eyes flutter open when I finally slide my arms over his bare chest, my thumb strumming as usual over his scar.
He kisses my forehead and offers a “Good morning, beautiful.” The arms I love so much wrap around me and press me flush against his warm skin. “Are you okay? I was worried about you.”
I reply with a tight smile.
“I’m okay. It was a rough night and my emotions were running high.”
He brushes the hair away from my face.
“I felt so bad. I was ready to get in my truck and come see you.”
I smile.
“I know you were. But I’m okay,” I inhale quietly, “I’m just… a little pregnant.”
Tyler shoots up into a sitting position as I tumble to his pillow.
“What did you say?” he asks, looking down at me.
“I’m pregnant.” I announce casually now that the initial shock of seeing a plus sign on the plastic stick has worn off.
He pounces on me, wedging himself between my legs and bearing his weight on his elbows.
“You’re having a baby? My baby?”
I grin at his disbelief.
“No, actually it’s Mr. Magoo’s.”
He narrows his eyes humorously.
“Yes. We’re having a baby.”
“I’m going to be a father? I’m going to be someone’s dad?”
“You are. And you’re going to be an incredible daddy.”
A rapid succession of blinking makes me think he’s overwhelmed, simply running on autopilot.
“Tyler, are you okay with this? I mean…we’ve talked about starting a family after we got married. The timing is a little off, but…”
He snaps out of the trance.
“Am I okay? I’ve never been happier in my life. Karrie, we did this. We —”
His words fall silent as he buries his face in my neck
, the torrent of emotion breaking through the stoic damn.
Moments later with his head hung low, he moves down my body, removing the article of clothing away from my belly.
His lips graze my skin before he places what feels like a thousand gentle kisses.
“I love you,” he murmurs.
I don’t know if he’s talking to me or our unborn child, but either way my heart fills with unimaginable happiness.
FOR THE NEXT several weeks, I rearrange my work schedule to accompany Tyler to races. His name is quickly becoming synonymous with victory and he’s enjoying the perks of being on top.
“Would you ever sell the business to race full-time?” my dad asks, eyeing Tyler carefully over a steak dinner.
“No, sir. As much as I love racing, I know it’s going to end someday and I have a family to support.”
“A family?” my mom interjects suspiciously, setting her glass of wine down on the patio table.
Tyler and I share a quick glance and a smile.
“Congratulations, Gramma and Grampa.”
My mother jumps to her feet and accidently knocks the glass to the ground, wine splattering everywhere.
“You’re pregnant?! How did this happen?”
A loud guffaw rips through me. “Do I really need to explain how it works? You are a doctor after all.”
“Get over here!”
My body is wrapped in her arms as she whispers in my ear.
“I’m so happy for you.”
While still in her embrace, I dart my eyes to Tyler who is shaking my father’s hand, offering an apology for the sequence of events.
“I’m sure you would’ve liked for us to have been married already, but…”
My dad rejects his apology, telling him instead to take care of me and our baby. “You asked my permission before hand and you got down on one knee. At least that’s what Karrie said you did. I’m still waiting to see the video.”
“I keep meaning to pull it from the surveillance tape.”
After a quick switch, Tyler’s face turns bright red when my mother makes a sexual reference and is immediately shushed by my dad.
“Behave yourself, woman!”
“That’s not what you said last night, dear.”
“C’mon here, Kare Bear.” My father lifts me from the ground, leaving my feet dangling. “If you need anything, you know I’m always here for you.”