Just to Hear 'I Love You': An Alternate Tale of Jane Austen's 'Pride & Prejudice'

by Sarah Johnson

  His own features brightened by her changed demeanor, “That would indeed be the greatest of tragedies as I wish to remember this day forever.”

  She blushed, looking down at where he still held her hand in his.

  Darcy said, “I am looking forward to our trip to the theater.”

  “As am I! It is not often we have the opportunity, and the production is one of my favorites.”

  “Have you seen this troupe then?”

  “No, but I have heard of them.”

  The two continued to discuss the play they were to go see in just a few days.

  Fitz had spent just about every night learning to sign, but when it came to actually using the words he had practiced in the mirror, he could not bring himself to speak to Miss Mary. So here he sat next to her on the bench, listening to Bingley talk non-stop, about what, he could not even say.

  He looked across the pond and saw his cousin sitting on the ground next to Miss Bennet, the two speaking of what looked like a very serious matter. Fitz turned back to Miss Mary and realized she too was watching her sister. All of a sudden she sucked in her breath and her face went pale, her eyes transfixed on her sister. Fitz put his hand gently on her arm and she broke from her stare, looking to him. “Miss Mary, are you well?” he quietly asked.

  She swallowed hard and nodded, then relaxed a little and looked down at her trembling hands in her lap.

  I will have to ask Darcy what they were discussing, Fitz thought. He dearly wished to know what made her react so strongly. He was amazed at the deep need within himself to bring comfort to the lady beside him. It was even pushing him to learn signs he could not yet bring himself to use to his advantage.

  They sat there for a few more minutes until he saw Darcy and Miss Bennet stand and begin making their way towards them again. He stood, this time able to offer Miss Mary his arm before Bingley even knew they were ready to leave. With his shoulders held high and his chest puffed out just a little more than usual, he walked back to the Gardiners. The gentlemen remained for tea then took their leave, Bingley going to his brother’s house and Darcy and Fitz returning to Darcy House together.

  A few hours later the two were playing pool, Fitz lining up his shot, when he asked, “Darcy, what were you and Miss Bennet speaking of today at the pond?” He saw his cousin’s demeanor and knew he would not get an answer without pushing harder. “I do not wish to pry, I was just curious. Miss Mary saw something her sister said and had a rather harsh reaction to whatever it was.”

  Darcy leaned his hands against the table as Fitz stood straight, looking at him. “We were speaking of our parents.”

  “You both spoke of your parents?”

  Darcy nodded.

  Quietly he replied, “So this is serious.”

  Darcy nodded again, no words coming out and his face showing neither displeasure nor joy.

  “Are you prepared to ask for her hand?”

  “I am.”

  “You know my side of the family will not approve.”

  “Do you approve?” Darcy asked sincerely. Fitz did not say anything, so he continued, “I am a man of great means and have relied on my own mind for many years, but it would be nice to have my family’s opinion, and seeing as you are as close to a brother as I will have, I just thought...”

  Fitz slowly walked over to his cousin. Putting his cue stick on the table he patted Darcy’s shoulder, “My only wish is to see you happy, and if she makes you happy, then I will stand beside you no matter what the rest of the family says.”

  “Thank you.”

  “And with that, I will bid you good night.” He then left Darcy alone.

  Darcy retired as well, but, unable to sleep, he sat up reading his father’s old journals. They read more like a text book from school than the words of an individual telling his story. His decision was made within his heart already, but reading the journals made Darcy realize just how solemn his life had become. He needed joy and happiness, and he knew Miss Bennet was where he would find that for the rest of his days. Now he need only find the opportunity to ask for her hand and hope she too felt as he did about the future.

  Mary sat with her journal in hand, ink stains evident on the fingers and thumb of her left hand as she silently read the words she penned just a few minutes before. She found, many years ago, a great release when she wrote her feelings down on paper, and tonight was no different. It was one of the most difficult nights of her life, but what helped her get through the struggles she faced was knowing Elizabeth was so very happy on the arm of Mr Darcy.

  To her disappointment, Mr Bingley was his usual, amiable self, so she could not put the blame for this disastrous evening on him. It was her—all her. Because of her own physical deficiencies she needed an escort who could guide her through the obstacles presented by being out in society, and Mr Bingley, though he was gentlemanly in every sense of the word, did not understand her needs enough to be of much assistance. She knew he did not understand the struggles she faced when being out in public, and that alone was enough to make her wary of going to the theater in the first place, but she acquiesced against her better judgment. It was clear she was not meant to be there, and especially not on the arm of one of the Ton’s most eligible bachelors. Mr Bingley might have ties to trade, but his income and his friendship with Mr Darcy made him quite the catch. That he was a nice looking did not hurt his position either. He knew just about everyone in attendance, and Mary was introduced to more people tonight than she ever remembered meeting in her entire life.

  The crush of the crowd everywhere she turned made her want to find the nearest door and run back home, but she overcame her deepest fears and stayed, clutching to the arm of her escort so as not to get lost. The chaos of the lobby soon gave way to the bleakness of the play itself. She had read Shakespeare’s play before, but the sheer tragedy as it was acted out before her made her uncomfortable. It might have been different if the play had a happy ending, but the suicide of the two main characters was not to her liking.

  What made her even more nervous were the looks she received as Mr Bingley once again led her through the crowds upon their exit from the theater. All eyes turned to the two sisters, very alike in looks, and Mary knew they would be the talk of every drawing room on the morrow. If there was one thing Mary hated more than anything, it was to be fodder for gossip.

  With a deep sigh, she closed her journal, setting it down on the table beside her bed. She had hoped writing of her feelings would help clear her mind of the events of this evening, but it did not. She looked over at her sister who sat on her own bed holding tightly to the pillow clutched in her arms, a far—away look in her eyes. Mary walked over and sat down, garnering Elizabeth’s attention. She was shocked to immediately be pulled into a tight embrace.

  When she finally let go, Elizabeth signed, “Oh Mary, the most wonderful thing has happened to me this evening! It was such a magical experience—the theater, and Mr Darcy even found one of my favorite plays! He was so solicitous of my being on his arm and he introduced me with such pride.”

  Mary curled her feet underneath her, settling into their usual manner of sitting face to face so they could easily speak. “I can see you had a good time tonight—I am very glad.”

  “But that is not the best part of the evening,” Elizabeth quickly signed back. “I am to be married!”

  “Really? Oh Elizabeth, how wonderful!” Mary hugged her older sister again. When she pulled back both had tears in their eyes and they began to giggle at the display of emotions. “You must tell me everything.”

  “After supper tonight, when he offered to show me a case of his mother’s collectibles...” And so the story unfolded.

  “It is right over there,” Darcy indicated to Mr Gardiner. The uncle gave a nod of approval and turned back to continue his discussion with Mr Bingley while Darcy lead Elizabeth over to the case.

  “What a lovely collection.” She fingered the birds and made mention of the lifelike characteristics o
f a few of the larger pieces. When he said nothing in response, she looked up at him. He was staring down at her, and when their eyes met Elizabeth felt her heart begin to pound.

  Darcy’s plan to ask tomorrow in the Gardiner’s garden went awry when he suddenly blurted out, “Will you take my hand?”

  Elizabeth was confused as such a request. “Yes, of course, sir.”

  He shook his head, trying to make sense of what he wanted to say. “I did not mean... that is.” He took a deep breath and reached for her fingers, “I meant, will you take my hand in marriage? Will you stand beside me all the rest of our days on this earth? Will you face life’s tragedies and triumphs with me?”

  She certainly did not expect to hear those words come from him this evening.

  He stepped a bit closer, lifting her fingers to his lips. “Miss Bennet, I find I have lost my heart to you, and I hope you feel the same. I have certainly felt you have encouraged me in my regard, and I do not wish to frighten you at such a question, but I find I cannot wait any longer. Will you marry me?”

  The room around them began to spin and she felt him reach out to steady her. She then felt her aunt at her side.

  “Elizabeth? Are you well?”

  She looked around in confusion. “What? Oh Aunt, I am well.”

  “It is getting late. Perhaps it would be best if we take our leave,” she said, turning to get her husbands attention. When he did not seem to notice, she turned back. Noticing the color was back in Elizabeth’s cheeks, and she was once again steady, she smiled, “I will give you a moment, then we must leave.”

  “Thank you, Aunt.” Elizabeth watched as her aunt walked away, then the turned back to the gentleman beside her. “Sir, I know not when it happened, but I can assure you I feel the same.”

  He once again reached for her hand, “You do? And will you...”

  She smiled, “Yes, of course. It will be an honour to stand beside you the rest of my days.”

  Darcy could hardly contain the joy he felt inside, but since the others were just a few feet away he thought it best to bring her hand to his lips for a soft kiss on the back of her glove. “I know how much your sister means to you, and please know that in offering for you, I know it would please you to have her by your side. If you think she would like Pemberley, she is welcome to join our household as well.”

  It was all he had time for, as their privacy was interrupted and the visitors all took their leave. While helping her on with her cape, he was able to tell her of his intention to visit her uncle tomorrow, and he would forever remember that pink that rose in her cheeks when his whispered breath touched her ear. She gave a simple nod, and within minutes they were gone.

  Mary could not help the tears that began to fall down her cheeks as Elizabeth described the scene, “I am so happy for you!”

  Elizabeth pulled a handkerchief off the bedside table and handed it to Mary, “Please do not cry—if you cry I shall surely start again, then we will both have swollen eyes tomorrow.”

  Mary giggled, drying her eyes. “We cannot have that, now can we?”

  Taking a deep breath and grasping her sister’s hand, Elizabeth continued, “There is one other thing I wished to tell you. Mr Darcy made a point of saying that when we marry you will be welcome in our home as well. Oh Mary, please say you will come with me when I marry? I cannot imagine living apart from you.”

  “What would Aunt and Uncle say?”

  Elizabeth reached for her sister’s hand, “If you wish to come with me, they would be happy to let you.”

  Mary smiled, “Of course I wish come with you.” Remembering what the colonel had said about Pemberley, she knew how much she would love it there.

  The two spent the next hour discussing in great detail what Elizabeth felt and her hopes for the future. Mary finally returned to her own bed, falling into a deep sleep almost immediately. Her dreams were of a wonderful life with a loving husband and children all around, but when she awoke in the morning and the reality of life once again came into focus, she was disappointed that it would never come to be. She readied herself for the day and tried to forget her own grim future, instead focusing on the happiness of her beloved sister Elizabeth.

  Mary and Elizabeth were both tired as they sat in the drawing room awaiting Mr Darcy’s expected visit to their uncle. Their aunt was upstairs with the little ones when a letter arrived for both of them. They eagerly opened it, reading the invitation to attend a ball given by Mr Darcy’s aunt in almost two weeks’ time.

  Aunt Maddie came into the drawing room just as the ladies were excitedly reading their invitation. Looking it over when Elizabeth handed it to her, she smiled. “We must send your acceptance immediately.”

  “Please do not include me, I do not wish to go,” Mary stated.

  Maddie walked over and sat beside her niece, “Mary, I know how uncomfortable you are in public, but we cannot offend the Darcys by refusing such an invitation.”

  Mary bit her lip as she thought of all she wished to express to her aunt and her sister, but she knew even as close as they were to her, they would never truly understand her discomfort. With a small nod of her head, she gave in, assuring them of her attendance.

  “Wonderful,” Maddie said as she stood. “Come—we must answer this invitation and go to the modiste immediately to have new gowns made for each of you.”

  “That is not necessary...” Elizabeth started to say, but was interrupted by her aunt.

  “I will not be gainsaid in this. You will both have new gowns, and that is the end of it. You cannot expect to wear one of the gowns you currently have in your closet to a function such as this. We can well afford a little expense for your first ball.”

  The invitation was answered and the sisters dressed for their trip to the shop. Elizabeth was a little disheartened to possibly miss Mr Darcy’s promised call, but she knew her aunt was right. If their dresses were to be completed in time they must be purchased immediately.

  A few hours later, Mary stood uncomfortably in the back room, bolts of cloth all around her and every surface of the table covered in various patterns. The pushy lady came back into the room, and while Mary could not hear her voice, she knew it must be screeching just by the look on Elizabeth’s face. The lady pulled Mary’s arms out straight from her sides and began to measure, writing down notes as she went along and continuing her intense conversation with Elizabeth. There seemed to be a problem with a particular pattern, and the modiste was determined to have her way. Finally Aunt Gardiner put her calming hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder and stepped in, finding a compromise between what the two ladies wanted in the dress.

  Mary was pulled down from the stool and Elizabeth’s turn to be measured quickly took precedence. Mary watched as the three ladies continued to talk of specific fabrics, some being held up to each of the girls’ faces to see if they would work. In the end it was decided what each would wear and the three left with a sense of accomplishment at the day’s outing.

  They returned home and were taken aback when they saw the colonel pacing in the sitting room.

  “Colonel,” Mrs Gardiner replied, “we did not expect to see you today. Have you been waiting long?”

  He bowed, “Mrs Gardiner, Miss Bennet, Miss Mary, it is a pleasure to see you all again. I came to call with my cousin.”

  “Oh? Where is Mr Darcy?” Mrs Gardiner looked around the room.

  “He is speaking with your husband at this time, madam.”

  “You did not wish to join them, sir?”

  He looked at Elizabeth, a small smile lifting the corners of his lips as he said, “My cousin needed to speak with him alone so I offered to wait in here for your return.”

  Maddie saw the look between the two and focused on her niece’s cheeks as they turned a bright pink. Ahhh, she thought to herself, it seems Mr Darcy has finally made his decision. She turned back to the others, “We are glad to keep you company then, sir. Please excuse me while I check on my children and arrange for
some tea.”

  When her aunt left the room, Elizabeth spoke, “Colonel, would you like to join us outside in the garden?”

  “Yes, of course,” he said, putting out both of his arms to escort the sisters out the door and down the stairs to the bench beneath the shade of the oak tree.

  When they sat, Elizabeth looked at the colonel, “Is something amiss?”

  “What makes you think so?”

  “Colonel, I saw your face when we entered the drawing room. You were pacing, and somehow I doubt it was from nerves over your cousin’s discussion with my uncle.”

  Fitz looked at her, carefully assessing her demeanor before he finally replied, “My father saw who my cousin escorted last evening at the theater and came to visit Darcy this morning. He let it be known how he feels about this match.”

  Elizabeth took a deep breath, the words she was about to say cut short when she noticed Mr Darcy entering the sitting room. She excused herself from the two others and joined him, both sitting on the sofa to talk.

  “What have you decided?” Elizabeth asked, her eyes barely showing how frightened she was at what he might say.

  Darcy was immediately filled with compassion and wrapped his arms around her, resting his cheek on her hair as she relaxed in his embrace. “Oh, my Elizabeth, please do not doubt my feelings. I love you, and no matter what my family says, we will marry.”

  Fitz sat beside Miss Mary, both watching the couple inside. When Darcy drew Elizabeth into his arms, he turned away, giving them privacy. Before he could even think of what he was doing, he signed to her, “How are you today?”

  Mary’s eyes brightened and she smiled as she signed back, “You are learning to sign?” Fitz was confused by the unknown gestures, and Mary drew out her paper and pencil from her pocket, writing what he did not understand.

  Fitz reached into his jacket and pulled out her well—worn book, “Your uncle allowed me to borrow this.”

  Mary blushed at the gesture, “You are doing very well, sir.”

  He grinned, “I am just trying to increase my charms, madam.” The smile on her face made his heart beat wildly. “You will also have to teach me how you tell from people’s lips what they say.”