Chasing the Wild Sparks

by Alexander, Ren

  “Yes. Thanks ever so much for your help in doing that,” Becks says sarcastically. Gee, sorry I ruined your night, sweetheart!

  He replies, “Not a problem.” Looking from Becks to me, he asks, “Hey, man. What happened? You look like you were run over by a bottle of Jack.”

  “Repeatedly.”

  Ricky shakes his head. “Hadley, what the hell did you do to him? Didn’t you let him give you a Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against the Wall?” No, but I tried to give her a Fast Hot Fuck in a Corner Booth. She declined that, too.

  “Hysterical,” she ridicules.

  “Did you break his heart? Is that why he was drinking?”

  She answers, “No.”

  I contend, “Yes.” Ricky apprehensively sends his gaze to Becks before looking at me again. Believe me. It is confusing, my friend.

  “Interesting,” he says. I glance over at Becks and she has her head down, her shoulders subtly shaking. Oh, fuck. She’s crying.

  She mumbles, “It’s really not. It’s rather sad.”

  “It shouldn’t be like this,” I reply.

  “Why can’t you drive my boy home?” Ricky asks.

  “I don’t have my car and I can’t drive a stick.” Ricky beams at the opportunity to turn something into a sex joke. “What are you going to do with your car since Hadley can’t drive your stick?” He laughs. Not the time, jerkwad.

  I sigh. “Don’t know.”

  From the corner of my eye, I see Becks quickly shift her body to me and hold out her hand, so I turn my head and look down at her. Even with smeared makeup under her eyes, she’s still so utterly beautiful. “Give me your key.”

  “You’re not driving my car. You’ll fuck it up since you don’t know how to drive it.”

  Ricky interjects, “I can pick it up later. I don’t get off until six. I’ll need someone to pick me up from the precinct. I don’t know if you want to leave it here that long, though. If you talk to the manager, they might not have it towed.” Yeah. Towed. Exactly what I want to happen to my car.

  “Ivan will take it for you, okay? Just give me your key.”

  Persistent, isn’t she? I’ll make it worth her while then. I grin at her. “You’ll have to come and get it.” I raise my arms so she can get into my pockets. This should be fun.

  She looks questionably at my crotch. “Which pocket?”

  “I guess you’ll just have to frisk me.” She sighs as she moves over behind me and puts her arms around my waist. She carefully begins to pat my pockets, deliberately avoiding my dick.

  “Don’t grope him too much. I don’t want to have to arrest him for indecent exposure.” I look over at Ricky and smirk. He rolls his eyes and looks away.

  From under my arm, Becks asks Ricky, “Isn’t this your job?” She slides her hand into my right pocket. I try to get her to graze my balls, but she yanks her hand out before I’m able to execute my plan. Fuck. She never wants to touch me. I have to either guide her to do it or beg her to. Don’t I turn her on? Why doesn’t she ever want to touch me? To turn me on without me steering her in that direction? I want so much for her hands to have a mind of their own, not to mention that mouth of hers. What she can do with that tongue would be fucking out of this world if she ever sucks me off. Just once. That’s all I’m asking of her. She wouldn’t have to swallow. Hell, she wouldn’t even have to finish me off in her mouth. She could move and let me come on her tits, or she could bring me to the brink and then climb on and ride me out.

  “Damn, Finn! That’s not a good sign when your woman can’t wait to not touch you!” Tell me about it.

  “I’m used to it.” I don’t see Becks’ face, but she moves away from me rather fast.

  Ricky observes, nodding, “I now see why you were drinking.”

  Becks interrupts, “Can you just get him home? Ivan will bring his car over shortly after.”

  “Sure thing.” Ricky walks over and opens the back door of his car. As I step over to it, Becks grabs my hand, but I can’t look at her. I know that I said some things to hurt her. I’m hurt, too. She ungraciously dumps my hand and I duck my head to sit down. Feeling her eyes etching into me even though it’s fucking cramped back here, I prop my arms on my thighs and put my head in my hands to try and shield myself. Nevertheless, I can still feel her. Ricky gives me some relief by shutting the door. The driver’s side front door is open, so I can hear some of what is being said.

  “What happened in there? Did you two really break up?” It sure in the hell feels like something happened between us in there. Whatever it was, it’s dire.

  I hear Becks’ sobs. I want to hold her, but who’s going to comfort me? She wasn’t the only one whose fucking heart was ripped out in there. Even if I wanted to, I can’t get out of the car with the steel and bulletproof cage between the front and backseats and the inability to open the back doors from here. I’ve never been arrested before, but now I have a consensus of what kind of hell it would be like. I’ll pass. I’m a prisoner in every fucking sense of the word.

  “I don’t know. He said some really horrible things to me.” I wasn’t the only one! She tore my heart out and stomped on it!

  “He was so worried about you, Hadley. When he called me from work, he was so flustered. He’s never been that upset about you before. You two are always happy.”

  “We used to be.” That’s like a bullet straight to my heart. I wish Ricky would put me out of my misery right now.

  Ricky sighs. “What happened?”

  “He started doing shots. A lot of them.” I drank more on Friday night when she didn’t want to stay with me.

  “Just out of the blue? Did he tell you he was going to be drinking?”

  “No. I don’t think he was planning on drinking since he drove.” No, I wasn’t going to get drunk again this weekend. Once was too much. “He went ballistic when he saw me dancing.”

  “Dancing? With another man? Dressed like this?” Ricky better not be checking her out more than necessary or I’ll gauge his fucking eyes out. Becks looks so hot that I almost fucked her on the dance floor, which is not even an exaggeration. I thought about it when I put my hand in her skirt, feeling her through her underwear. I would have if she had let me unbutton that skirt another button.

  “I don’t usually dress like this, Ricky. You know that.” True, but she can dress like that just for me anytime she wants. Though, I’d rather her only at home where she can straddle me over the bed without anything on underneath her skirt. Fuck. Thinking about her body is driving me insane.

  “I do, but I’m sure that drove Finn crazy to see you looking so… And hanging on someone else.” I wanted to lick more than her delicious mouth. My Becks is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.

  “I wasn’t hanging on strangers.” No. Just Rod—the one that wants in her underwear. Not a chance in hell. What do I have to do to show him that she’s mine? Fuck her in front of him to prove my point?

  “Who might you be?”

  “Greg Rodwell. I’m friends with Hadley.” Friends. Like I said, he’d better not be fucking her. I’ll kill him before my broken heart kills me.

  “Is he the reason why Finn is so upset?”

  “Part of it.” A big part.

  “Are you two seeing each other? Are you cheating on Finn, Hadley?”

  The moment of truth… Maybe.

  “No!” she screeches. Wow. She sounds pained and heartfelt, wrenching my soul through the alcohol haze. I’ve never heard her like that before. I actually believe her. “Greg and I are coworkers and friends. That’s all!”

  “Then, why is he so…broken?” Because Becks rejected me…yet again.

  “He thought we did break up earlier today.”

  “Thought?”

  “We had an argument about him not wanting to introduce me to people.”

  “That’s how he wants it with you. It’s not to hurt you.” Even Ricky understands!

  “Yes, but it’s driving me crazy! He keeps me a secret, Ricky!” No. I ke
ep her to myself. Big difference.

  “Finn’s always been a private person, even with his career choice.”

  “I know, but it’s like I don’t matter at all.” She’s wrong. Not my career, my car, or all my autographs and sports junk. Not even my religion. Becks and Jesus Christ. That’s all I need in my life.

  “You’re all he talks about. Becks this or Hadley that. It gets old.” Ricky nailed that.

  “Something’s been bothering him lately. I guess you two didn’t resolve it?” Ricky, where are you going with that?

  “No.”

  I hear Ricky heavily sigh. I know he’s in an awkward position out there. He’s trying to defend me, but also protect Becks. Despite his faults—because I have plenty of them, too—he’s the greatest friend a guy could ever ask for.

  “So, you’re not going to move in with him?” he asks her testily. Ricky wants to see me happy. He knows how much I’m in love with Becks and how much I want her to live with me. He does like Becks. A lot, actually. He’d do anything she asked of him just because she’s mine. That’s how close Ricky and I are. Although, when I first introduced her to him, he was annoyed he didn’t get to her first. He was going to stop by the ER to see me that night since he was on patrol nearby, but he was needed on a drunk driving call. Sometimes I wonder if Becks still would’ve picked me or if she would’ve gone for Ricky, not that he would’ve kept her around for long. She’s not his type. He likes his women extremely adventurous and uninhibited. He also goes for the tits. The bigger, the better. Becks is absolutely perfect for me…in every way.

  I can’t believe how much of a prick I was to her back there. I deserve to have my fucking ass dumped no matter how upset or wounded I am. She has her reasons, as do I for wanting her to be with me. Funny how I’m able to think this in my head, but when I speak, it all comes out as a fucking mess.

  Alcohol is a spiteful motherfucker.

  “No.” Hearing that again only kicks me while I’m down.

  “Oh. I get it now. That’s why he’s so upset. Finn never gets like this when he’s drunk. He’s a loveable, fun drunk. This isn’t like him.” The alcohol isn’t the only thing fueling my actions right now.

  “So you’re saying this is my fault?” Yes. No.

  “Sort of. I mean, he’s not a big drinker and this is the second time this weekend he’s been trashed.”

  “And you think I’m driving him to drink?” No. Yes.

  “I don’t know, Hadley. He was pretty upset Friday night, too.” Shit. He needs to shut up.

  “Why? He told me he was going out with you after working on your bikes.”

  Ricky closes the cruiser’s front door a little more. Stealthily moving my head to the side, I see them walking away. Why? So I can’t hear them? What the fuck is he going to tell her? I don’t have any secrets from Becks, except for one, and Richmond Charles Tesco had better not spill it.

  I will shoot him with his own gun.

  Revive him.

  And then shoot him again.

  What’s my best friend telling my girl? I peek over my arm again and out the window. Becks has her hands on her face and Rod is standing beside her, looking pissed off. What the fuck did Ricky just tell her? I can’t hear a damned thing over the constant radio communications and the engine running.

  Now I’m worried. He wouldn’t tell her? Would he? I’ve known Ricky for six years now. I trust him and I don’t trust many people. I think I trust Becks, but then again, I’m afraid she’s cheating on me with Greg Rodwell. But even though they were dancing the way they were, I don’t think Becks would actually cheat on me. They’re already friends, so they have a connection, but it’s not intimate like ours…I’m almost positive. What we have is special and soulful. I want to be the only one to experience it with her.

  If I didn’t just fucking threw it all away.

  After what feels like a year and a day, I hear Ricky approaching and my eyes furtively slide up. I don’t want to lift my head because I don’t want to see Becks crying anymore. I also don’t want her to see the shame or tears in mine, either. She has never seen me cry, and she won’t. Ricky saw me on the verge of crying Friday night after I started downing shots.

  I’m turning into a damn pussy.

  “Alright, Wilder, buckle up. Let’s get you home.”

  “Get me the fuck out of here,” I growl into my lap through clenched teeth. I don’t want to say more because I’m already on the edge of not being able to hold it together. He shuts the door and exhales a long and bothered sigh.

  “Finn, what happened, man? She said she didn’t know if you two broke up or not. What did you do?”

  I ignore his inquiry and ask one of my own as I swallow my sobs, refusing to let them out. I need to get a fucking grip. “What did you tell her?” I rasp and wipe my eyes with my thumb.

  “I told her this was the second time this weekend you were trashed. She asked me if I thought she was driving you to drink. I said yes.”

  I immediately lift my head. “Fuck, Ricky! Why’d you tell her that, you jackass!”

  “Whoa, Finn! Do not fucking tell me that she’s not the reason why you’ve been pounding them back! I was there, man!”

  I grab my hair and bend between my legs. “Fuck!”

  “This is killing you! You need to tell her!”

  “Fuck you!” I yell to the floor.

  “Shit. I will then.”

  Lashing my head up from over my legs, I lean closer to the divider and darkly warn, “You fucking do that, I’ll tie you up, and grind your face underneath my bike’s back tire.”

  “Shit, man! You just threatened a police officer!”

  I glare at him in the mirror. “Shut the fuck up, asshole.”

  “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you two tonight, but Friday night you were in shambles, too. I had to stay fucking sober so I could pick your ass up off the floor more than once. I’m not a cop for nothing. You were even drunker than this. I mean, yeah you’re tanked, but I can still carry on a conversation with you, unlike the other night when you didn’t even know your ABCs.”

  I sit back and run my hand over my mouth. “I know.”

  “So, did you break up with her? She said you said some ‘really horrible’ things to her.”

  Ricky looks at me through the rearview and I turn my head to look out the window. “No. I didn’t break up with her, but shit, after the things I said… I don’t know.”

  “What did you say? Just talk to me.”

  I rub the back of my neck as I peer out the window. “I got mad because she was staying with her friend, Morgan, tonight instead of us going back to her apartment.”

  “She turned down hot sex with you to paint her friend’s toenails?”

  “I guess. Then, I had propositioned her to have sex with me.”

  “Where? The club?”

  I look back to the mirror, where he’s gaping at me. “Yes.”

  Ricky continues to gawk in amazement. “Did you?”

  I shake my head and look away from him. “She turned me down.”

  “Good. That would’ve been an awkward call to respond to.”

  “No shit. Although, it wouldn’t have been as awkward as that time we took home those two sisters, Mavis and Cindy, who waitressed at Jake’s.”

  “Oh, yeah. The almost-foursome?” He laughs. I had become friends with Mavis since it was one of the bars we frequented between Ricky’s marriages. One night, I drank too many and Mavis offered Ricky and me to stay with her sister and her. They shared a bedroom in a tiny apartment and offered us their couch and recliner, but that’s not where Ricky and I ended up.

  “Almost? We were all in the same room, but there was no way I would’ve ever been that close to your junk.”

  Ricky shakes his head. “Same here. It was dark enough, but I still had to hear you fucking her.”

  I rebut, “I had to hear you squealing like a girl.”

  “Well, I had to stick close by in case you needed
advice.” I can hear his smile in his voice. “You know…to show you what to do since you’re so virginal.”

  Grinning at me in the rearview, I flip him off. He says, “I still can’t believe you slept with her. You never went home with anyone. I have to pay you to relax when we go out. An old lady at bingo is more fun than you.”

  I shrug. “I got drunk, which I usually didn’t do because I was always the DD. You weren’t exactly sober to guard my virtue.”

  He laughs. “Still, you fucked her and I was shocked because I was there to witness it.”

  “It was dark,” I counter.

  “I wasn’t deaf.”

  I narrow my eyes and argue, “I had to hear you, too, Ricky. Your dirty talk is extremely disappointing. You were reciting ‘The Pledge of Allegiance.’”

  “Fuck you, Wilder!” Ricky whines.

  “After that, Mavis and I did get together a few more times, but you weren’t invited. You were…busy…elsewhere. It wasn’t the same without your squealing or pledge reciting.”

  He looks over his shoulder to gripe. “Go to hell.” We both laugh, making me feel slightly better.

  Turning his head back to the front, he states, “We’ve gotten into some crazy shit together.”

  I protest, “No. I’ve been caught up in some crazy shit with you. That was the only time I went home with someone from your bar excursions, and she was actually someone I knew. You didn’t even know her sister Cindy before you slept with her.” I offhandedly mumble, “That was shortly before I met Hadley.”

  “I tried tarnishing that halo some more, but damn, you’re stubborn. I’m sorry I failed to corrupt you.” He laughs and I faintly smile back.

  I sigh and am quiet. Ricky asks, “What else happened back there with Hadley?”

  “It turned into me blowing up about her not wanting us to live together.”

  “I know how much you want that, man. I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah. Then I accused her of fucking someone else.” I slide my hand through my hair and close my eyes.

  “She told me she’s not cheating on you.”

  “She told me no, too.”

  “Hell, are you even fucking her?”

  “Fuck you, Officer Tesco.”