A Dangerous Love 6: A Thug's Heart

by J Peach

  “You got some rocks?”

  My brow rose at his question. “What?” I asked in confusion making Blaze laugh.

  “I felt it, that’s why I asked. Peaches, you know you ain’t gotda worry about shit. Don’t let that little bitch get you like this. Baby, don’t worry about her. Boss, I got you, i’ight?” Blaze said, staring down at me.

  “I know you do. Now go before Blake has a tantrum.” Kissing my forehead, Blaze walked over to where Blake stood before taking him the swings. I knew Blaze had me just as I knew I had his back, but I couldn’t depend on him always making it there in time.

  ESo, I still had to do it for myself. More so now because I knew some bitch was still out there plotting. And she wasn’t going to stop until Blaze stopped hustling or until he was dead.

  But Blaze wasn’t going to stop hustling, he made that fact perfectly clear. And wasn’t no bitch or nigga gon’ scare him. For that reason alone, I was always going to be on the lookout.

  My phone started vibrating, which pulled me from my thoughts.

  “Hello?” I answered not looking at the caller ID.

  “Hey, Peaches. Girl, I’m surprised you answered. I’ve been trying to get up with you for the longest. What you doing?” Tish’s cheerful voice boomed from the other end.

  “Nothing, but I’mma call you back.” I didn’t give her a chance to ask why or if I was okay, which she was bound to do. I just hung up then text King and my girls letting them know I was out with Blaze and Blake and was turning my phone off.

  I just didn’t want to be bothered with no one else right now. Especially not Tish for the simple fact I didn’t know her like I did my girls. She hadn’t done anything to me, but I didn’t trust her.

  Blaze and King didn’t want to speak on it. But I just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was somebody they knew.

  That was just my thoughts and feelings on this whole thing and I found myself getting pissed as I thought on it because I didn’t fuckin’ know and I hated not knowing.

  “Mommy Peaches, help!” Blake’s scream filled laughs reached my ears, pulling me from my distracting thoughts.

  I needed to get myself together and fast, this shit wasn’t healthy.

  I focused on my screaming little boy and just watched Blaze toss him in the air before he caught him and then lightly drop him on the ground when he was an inch away.

  A smile came to my lips as I watched Blake get up, trying to run but Blaze tripped him making his little body fall down.

  Blaze was a good dad although he didn’t have much patience. And because he and Blake were so much alike, they stayed into it. But he was doing a great job. He kept Blake most nights, which surprised me. I was expecting for him to dump Blake on me but he didn’t. He took his responsibility for his son, unlike a lot of those no good ass niggas that hustled.

  They played together, fought constantly and went shopping at malls and stores a few hours away from Gary a few days out the week. The same with lunch and dinner, he always took a two hour drive.

  I was beyond impressed with the way he was handling being a dad. But seeing that side of him also made my depression deepen. I often wondered if he would’ve been the same with our baby. Would he have taken ours out like he does with Blake?

  But then other thoughts of how he kept Blake always made me wonder if he didn’t let him stay with me as much because I wasn’t his biological mother.

  Even though I knew most of what I thought wasn’t true, it didn’t stop me from thinking them.

  Seeing them interact made me want to be a part of their world, in their little family. And although I was family in their eyes, I sometimes felt out of place as I watched the pair.

  “Mommy Peaches, what’s the matter?” Blake’s little voice asked as he climbed into my lap. His dirty little hands wiped at my eyes.

  Tears ran down my cheeks as I was watching them and I didn’t even realize that nor did I see him walk up until he suddenly appeared, wiping my tears away.

  “Nothing. The wind blew dust in my eyes, is all. Are you hungry, sweetie?” I asked, running my hand over his hair.

  “No, I wanna play.” He grabbed my bottle of water and took the top off and started drinking it. After drinking half of the bottle, he gave it back to me. He hopped off of my lap and took off running back to the slide.

  “Blake, be careful. You bet not walk up that slide!” He ignored my yelling as he ran his little butt right up the board.

  “What I tell you? Leave him alone, he good.” Blaze sat next to me on the bench. “You i’ight?”

  I felt his eyes but I didn’t look at him. “I will be.” My shoulders shrugged.

  Blaze put his arm around my shoulder then pulled me into him. He tucked me against his side, kissing the top of my head.

  ***

  We both sat there quietly with me laying against him, watching Blake run around the park. There were a few times he fell down and I wanted to run to him but Blaze held me tighter, telling me he was alright. Sure enough Blake bounced right back up and tried to climb up the fire pole again. After a few failed tries, he gave up and just ran to something else in the park.

  Suddenly, Blaze removed Cherry’s leash from off of my wrist and picked up me.

  Blaze had me turned sideways against his side with his arm holding me securely at my waist as he ran toward the park.

  It took me a minute to realize nothing serious was happening and Blaze was just being playful.

  His big ass ran us up the jungle gym to the big swirly slide. Never once putting me on my feet, Blaze brought me to his front. He held me to him.

  I knew his big ass wasn’t.

  Oh, yes he was.

  With me now on his lap, he got in the slide. I don’t know what he was expecting to happen once we were in there.

  Blake had to have seen Blaze run to the jungle gym because not even two seconds later, Blake was behind us yelling.

  “Go, go, go! I wanna go!” Blake shouted.

  I didn’t think Blaze thought his plan through. Instead of getting out, his stupid ass started scooting into this small ass tube some more. “Shit, we stuck.” Once he said that, I broke out laughing. I couldn’t help myself.

  “No shit. What the hell was you thinking?” I asked still laughing.

  “Shut the fuck up. If I was thinking, I wouldn’t have got in this small ass tube. Why the fuck you let me?”

  If even possible, I laughed harder at the seriousness in his voice. “I swear you are so damn dumb. How did I know what you were thinking?” As I was talking, he continued to scoot but instead of going backwards he went forward. “Stop moving forward and go back, you dipshit.”

  Blaze slapped me in the back of my head.

  No this nigga didn’t.

  “Who the fuck you talkin’ to? Peaches, don’t make me beat yo ass in this fuckin’ slide.” He pushed me in my back.

  “Nigga, I’m talking to yo ass and you ain’t gon’ do shit.” He shoved me. “Blaze, stop fuckin’ hitting me. Ain’t nobody tell yo big stupid ass to get in this little ass slide.” He slapped me upside my head again and I tried to elbow the shit outda him but ended up hitting the slide. “Ow,” I moaned while grabbing my elbow. “You made me hurt my damn elbow.”

  Blaze let out a deep chuckle that echoed throughout the slide.

  “I wanna slide down. Go! Go!” Blake yelled before sending Blaze’s upper body jerking forward.

  “Did you just kick me? Blake make me beat yo little ass.” Blaze snapped only to have his body jerk forward again.

  “Then go,” Blake told him, making me laugh.

  “You think that shit funny?”

  Glancing over at him, I laughed. “Yeah, it is. If you let me go, I can get out.”

  “Fuck that! You ain’t about to leave me in here by myself. I’m scared of the dark.”

  All I could do was laugh at him.

  Blaze pulled me more into him as I laughed harder.

  “No, no, no. Blaze, let me go. No I ca
n’t believe you. Oh, my God!” I laughed, feeling him get hard. At a time like this he would get hard.

  “Blake, get out and turn the other way. Stand watch, make sho nobody coming,” he instructed.

  No he wasn’t coaching my baby to be a lookout. “Nigga, no you ain’t. Blaze, stop,” I said, grabbing his wrist as he tried to slip his hand in the front of my pants.

  “Come on, man. It’s been four months, just let me play with it.” Blaze whispered in my ear.

  “No. Blaze, we in a kid’s slide and secondly, my pants gon’ be wet if you do. You are such a damn perv.”

  “Then pull them down. I’ll pull my shit out and you can sit on it.”

  I burst out laughing.

  “Somebody coming,” Blake suddenly said, making me laugh harder.

  “Don’t be having my baby being yo damn lookout. Blaze, let me go. I gotda get Cherry!”

  “I got Cherry, mommy,” Blake said before getting back in the slide and pushing at Blaze again. “Daddy, go.” Blaze let out a heavy sigh before mumbling under his breath about not getting none, making me laugh.

  He was crazy if he thought we were going to have a quickie in a kid’s slide. Let alone with my baby standing right there. Blaze was outda his damn mind. Then again if Blake wasn’t with us, I just might have.

  “Here, take him.” Blaze leaned all the way back to let Blake climb over him to me. “Slide down with him.”

  Blake got on my lap with Cherry on his. Scooting off his lap, Blake and I went down with ease. Blake laughed the entire way down. His contagious laughter had me cracking up right along with him.

  “Can we go again?” Blake asked excitedly, literally bouncing. “Daddy, ooh!” Blake pointed to the top of the slide.

  I turned to look where he was pointing and my mouth fell open. “Blaze, get down before you break the slide or your neck,” I yelled, staring at this over grown fool standing on top of the slide.

  “I’m on top of the world!” he hollered, making me laugh, that’s all I could do. “How I’m supposed to get down now?”

  Shaking my head, I bit my bottom lip trying to contain my laughter.

  “The same way you got up there! Blaze, for real get down before you slip or something.” As I was trying to coach him down, Blake was yelling.

  “Jump! Jump! Daddy, jump!”

  Looking at Blake, I popped him on top of his head. “Shut up, don’t tell him that,” I said, laughing at how excited he was.

  “Move out the way,” Blaze said before turning his back to us. He was not about to jump backwards? What the hell was he thinking? I wanted to yell at him but I was afraid of scaring him and making his stupid ass really fall and break his damn neck.

  He looked behind himself to make sure we were out of his way. He gon’ have the nerve to wink at me before turning around. His arms swung back and he pushed himself off of the slide flipping backwards and landing on his feet.

  My mouth dropped.

  Blake’s reaction was totally different. “Oh, shit! That’s tight. I wanna do it. My turn!”

  I stood there speechless. Why didn’t I know he could flip. Wait what? I turned to look at the excited boy next to me. “Blake, I bet not ever see you doing that, you can break your neck.”

  An irritated look came on his face as he his lips formed into a pout and he rolled his eyes making Blaze laugh, which brought my attention to him.

  “Peaches, shut yo fussing ass up. He ain’t gon’ do it,” Blaze said before winking at Blake, bringing a smile to his little face.

  “Don’t be giving him the wink. I know what that means and I bet not catch you trying to teach him how to flip.”

  Blaze’s lips twisted and his eyes rolled up in his head. “Whatever you say, momma. Blake, mommy said you can’t do it.” Blaze turned me around so I wasn’t facing him but Blake’s sudden smile told me he was doing something behind my back.

  “That’s cool, Blaze. Let my baby get hurt and I’mma F you up, know that.”

  Humming, Blaze’s head came to the side of my neck biting at the skin, causing a laugh to leave my mouth.

  “Whatever you say, momma. He good, but I’m hurting, though. You gon’ take care of me?”

  I looked at him, catching what he meant and I started laughing. “N’all, daddy, the candy shop closed and will be for a long time. Should’ve took it earlier when it was open.” I told him in a serious tone.

  “Man, I want some candy,” Blake said.

  “Shid, daddy do too but mommy acting stingy and shit,” Blaze replied.

  Elbowing him in the stomach, I laughed. “We got candy in the bag. You ready to eat?”

  “Yeah, I’m hungry.” Blake then snapped at Cherry as she jumped on him. “Stop, you stupid rat.” All I could do was shake my head.

  I swear he was his father’s son.

  ***

  “Blaze, don’t backwash. I do not wanna be drinking yo chewed up food.” Blaze’s head reared back as I said that before pushing my head back. “Gon’ somewhere, Blaze.”

  “That’s what the fuck I’m thinkin’. Don’t backwash? Get the fuck outda here. I don’t backwash and so what if I do, a little food ain’t gon’ hurt you. Yo ass put more parts of me in yo mouth and you fussing over some food?”

  My mouth parted slightly as I stared at him in disbelief.

  “Open a little wider.”

  I punched Blaze in the chest before I shook my head, turning away from him. I grabbed Blake’s little blanket and pulled it over him and Cherry’s sleeping forms before kissing the top of his head.

  “Don’t try to act mad,” Blaze said, wrapping his arm around my waist then pushing his lower half against me.

  “Blaze, stop before somebody sees, its kids out here.” I pushed his hops back. Blake stirred in his sleep, rolling over on his side facing us.

  Smiling down at him, I ran my hand over his head.

  Blake wore himself out. After he finished eating, he ran around for a little bit playing with Cherry before came and sat next to me. Then before we knew it, he was knocked out.

  We were now laid on the big blanket I brought with us just enjoying the midday sun, while talking shit, laughing and joking around.

  I had to admit I haven’t felt this good in well over a few months. I was actually enjoying being around Blaze like I used to. All in all, today turned out amazingly.

  “What’s that smile for?” Looking up, my eyes locked with his.

  “Why are you watching me?” I asked not being able to wipe the smile from my lips.

  “Why wouldn’t I want to?” That had my smile widening as well as a laugh leaving my mouth Even so, I didn’t reply just turned my head to look back at Blake. “What you thinking about?” He kissed my shoulder then my neck.

  “How this day has turned out to be great and how much I’m attached to Blake. I’m thinking about everything.” Rolling on my back, I looked up at Blaze.

  I took his hat off and turned it backwards so I could get a good look at his face. “Why couldn’t you be like this a long time ago when I wanted you to?”

  “I don’t know how to explain that besides saying I’m a dummy ass nigga that didn’t know how to separate street from home. And as far as getting blow, I ain’t consider that shit as cheating because we ain’t never fucked. But I guess that falls under me be a dummy ass nigga. Shid, this us right now. But in ten maybe twenty minutes, I might be that dummy ass nigga choking the shit outda you. Who knows? Shid, I don’t.

  “What I do know is that I want you to give me another chance, not right now I’ll give you yo time but when it’s over I want my chance, i’ight?” For a long minute I didn’t respond.

  I just looked at him honestly not believing this was the same man I met so many months ago.

  He had just been so sweet and understanding these past few months it was hard to believe. I mean I knew he could be this man but now that he was slowly becoming him, I couldn’t believe it.

  “Daddy.” A little girl called as she came to
a stop in front of us, pulling me from my thoughts. The little girl couldn’t be no more than five maybe six. A pretty brown skinned little girl with long black hair. She stopped at our blanket looking at Blaze with her brows furrowed in confusion.

  Daddy?

  That had me looking at Blaze. What the fuck? Now I know bitches not about to start coming out claiming he’s their baby’s father.

  “N’all, shorty you ain’t mine.” Blaze told the little girl shaking his head. “Now gon’ somewhere. Go find yo momma.” Blaze waved his hand at her like he was shooing her away.

  “Naddie, get over here.” A young girl who looked to be around my age called to the little girl as she came our way.

  “He’s not my daddy?” The little girl Naddie spoke again pointing at Blaze and I let out a relieved breath. The woman looked slightly embarrassed by her daughter’s words and immediately started to explain.

  “I’m so sorry, I was talking to my girl about how you look like my daughter’s father from the side and Naddie overheard and thought I said you were her dad. I’m so sorry about this. With your whole get up, it was an honest mistake.”

  “It’s cool.” Blaze stated before pushing me on my back then rolling his big ass on top of me, dismissing old girl. He is so rude I swear. But I loved the hell out of his rude ass.

  “Is that your son?” Ol girl suddenly asked. I opened my mouth to answer but Blaze beat me to it.

  “N’all we just let random ass kids lay next to us. Fuck kinda question is that. Get yo dumbass on.” Blaze snapped at her.

  “Blaze, seriously? Shut up.” This man did not know how to talk to folks. “You have to excuse him.” He bit me to turn my attention back to him. “Blaze, stop that shit hurts.” Snapping at him, I slapped him on the back of his neck as he bit harder into my cheek this time.

  “You didn’t answer my question, is I’m gon’ get my chance?” Blaze asked, staring down at me. I guess ol girl got the hint because she walked away while dragging her daughter along.

  “As long as no more kids come running calling you daddy, then maybe.” I joked before getting serious. “If you’re willing to wait, then I don’t see why not.” If Blaze was willing to wait on me, then yeah I’d give him a chance. But right now, I just wasn’t ready for a relationship. I needed to take a break from dating.