Cautious (Sequel to Disastrous)

by Montes, E. L.

  We all drove back to the hotel in silence as I counted the minutes before I could rejoin my grandparents and get to know them even better.

  Marcus sensed my brighter mood as we entered the hotel room. He slightly shook his head and smiled as he removed his clothing. “Your grandparents were nice.” He flung his boots off.

  “They were so cool, especially William.” We both stripped down to our undies and climbed into bed. I snuggled into his arms. “I can’t believe I actually have a family, Marcus. Is it wrong or cliché to actually have such strong feelings for them, despite everything that’s happened?”

  He ran his fingers up and down the side of my arm as he pressed his lips on top of my head. “No, baby, it’s not. They’re your family no matter what. That’s what’s most important. Even if you feel betrayed for what they’d done in the past, you can only hope for the best in the future.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut and tightened my arms around him. I knew deep down that what Marcus had just said was more of a realization for him than a speech for me. We lay in bed the rest of the night that way, until we both drifted into a deep sleep.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  MARCUS

  At noon that Saturday, Mia and I had a quiet breakfast at one of the hotel restaurants. Afterwards, we walked around the city before heading back to the hotel. As I waited for her to finish with her shower, I sat on a chair in the living area of our suite. When we first arrived three days ago, I was distraught, and although I felt more at ease by now, I’d almost forgotten that it was the day that marked fifteen years since my father passed.

  Fifteen long fucking years.

  All the memories I’d had of him were good, not one bad memory. And even though each day since his death I had grown sturdier, I asked myself, “How different would my life have been if he was still alive?” I didn’t blame him for how my life had turned out. As he told me once, if I wasn’t happy with my life, I alone had to do something to change it. I couldn’t wait around and expect it all to work out. But that was a difficult saying for me to put into practice, when I had no fucking clue how to change it.

  The person that I wanted my life to be better for had just padded her way out of the bathroom. Just out of the shower, she dropped her towel, revealing the soft skin of her naked body. Bending over to grab a bra from on top of the bed, she slowly tilted her head and looked over at me. A smile formed along her lips as she caught me watching her. She straightened her posture and, with confidence, walked in my direction.

  My earlier thoughts vanished as pleasure rushed through me with each stride she took. When Mia reached me, she leaned down and pressed her hands along the armrest of the chair. Mia gently stretched her neck, and with her lips, she grazed my jawline. “You like what you see?” she whispered. The warmth of her breath along my skin aroused me.

  “I do.” I drew my fingers along the soft skin of her torso.

  She brought her head around, and her eyes filled with desire and burned into mine. “Well, what are you going to do about it?” She then grabbed the hem of my t-shirt, pulled it over my head, and tossed it to the ground. “Better yet, the question should be, ‘What am I going to do about it?’”

  I cocked my head aside and flashed a grin. “Tell me. What are you going to do?”

  A playful smile formed along her lips, “Well, for starters, you’re too covered up. I need to get these jeans off of you.” Her fingers danced along my belt buckle. Unhooking it, she pulled it from the hoops of the jeans, and threw it along the floor beside my shirt.

  Mia stood up and crossed her arms under her rounded breasts. I sucked in air, pleased and completely turned on with her playfulness. Her eyes traced down to my jeans. She then raised a hand toward her face and tapped a finger along her chin as if she were thinking. She gently shook her head. “See, that’s a problem. What I need is hidden under those jeans.” Her eyes flashed back to mine. “They’re getting in the way of what I want.” I leaned back in the chair as I felt myself grow underneath the denim fabric. Fuck. She managed to do that every time: even a simple word spoken by her gave me a fucking hard on.

  Mia reached over and began to remove my jeans and briefs. She tossed my shoes off along the way. Excitement and craving washed through her eyes as she caught sight of my full-blown erection. Without hesitation, she straddled me, both of her legs on the outside of mine, not yet allowing me to fill her. She rested her forearms along my chest as her fingers dug in the back of my hair. “Have you decided what you’re going to do?” I asked my voice hoarse.

  With a sparkle in her green eyes, her lips curled into a devilish grin. “Oh, I have a few things in mind.” She raised her hips and slowly sank down on me. My head settled back into the wingback chair at our joining. There was no greater feeling than when I was with her. She was always ready for me—wet and sleek as she glided up and down my cock. Her lips parted with a gasp, her body trembled, and her nipples hardened as she continued to ride me. She was a beautiful sight.

  I gripped her hips and thrust her up and down in a faster motion. Mia’s breathing became unsteady. She tightened her walls around my cock, and I groaned at how fucking good it felt. Her nipples peaked in yearning, and I leaned in, sucking on her breast. A moan escaped her, inciting her to move faster. My tongue twirled around, and I tugged on her nipple. Mia began to pant; she gripped my jaw, shoved my head back, and crushed her lips against mine.

  Ferociously, she sucked and tangled her tongue with mine. The minty taste of the toothpaste, the scent of her body soap, and the way my cock felt inside of her as she slammed her hips down into mine drove me in-fucking-sane. I gripped the back of her hair and pulled her in, needing and wanting her closer. She moaned as our tongues crushed against one another. My other hand continued to grip her hip, forcing her deeper as she slammed down with each descent. She cried out, and I groaned as she tugged at my hair.

  A deeper craving coursed through me: I lifted her from the chair and slammed her back against the carpet floor. Kneeling between her legs, I lifted her hips from the ground and pounded inside of her. She whimpered, as she arched her back, tightened her eyes shut, and gripped my wrists. Digging her nails into my flesh, she cried out my name. Her body jerked beneath me as she released the building pressure. The pleasure in her expression as she came ignited me, causing me to pound into her harder over and over again. Her breasts bounced as I continued to nail her. The sound of our hips slamming against each other, her continued cry of my name, all of it took me over the edge, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I fucking exploded deep and hard within her. “Fuck.” I groaned beneath my breath.

  I collapsed beside her. Both of us tried to catch our breath as we stared at the ceiling. Mia let out an exhausted and pleasurable laugh, causing me to do so as well. After we calmed and our heartbeats settled, she laid her head on top of my chest. I traced my fingers up and down her spine as she sighed in contentment.

  With all that had been going on, I knew I had to tell her what happened and the reason I’d been acting the way I was. It wasn’t fair to keep her in the dark. Mia didn’t push the issue, allowing me to deal with the problem on my own, but I knew she wanted in, to know more. I loved that about her—how she was so passionate about me that she wanted to be a part of my struggles, stress, and pain.

  As a guy, it was hard to express my feelings, not because I couldn’t, but because it was more of a way to show strength, to show that I could handle it on my own. Sometimes it was difficult to deal with all the bullshit. I would use liquor as a way to escape or cope. I was trying to fight against it, to control it in another way.

  Mia was my other way. When she was around, there was nothing else. There was no bullshit, no issues, no lies, nothing. In an awkward way, it was as if we were similar; we both needed each other to fill the emptiness we both had. I understood it and she did as well. It was why we meshed so well.

  Mia lifted her head to look at me. “What are you thinking?” She asked in a low tone. I reached up and cupp
ed my hand under her chin. My stare dropped from her eyes and followed as I began tracing my thumb along her soft plump lips. “I’m sorry if I’ve been acting awkward or off lately. It’s just that I’ve been going through some things, and I’m not sure how to—”

  “Marcus, I need to tell you something.” Mia cleared her throat.

  Puzzled by her instant change in demeanor, I tugged at her chin and brought her eyes back to mine. “What is it?” At that moment I was concerned by the look in her eyes. She seemed to be struggling with whatever she wanted to say. “What is it, Mia?” I asked again, that time my tone a bit stern.

  Nodding as if she knew she had to say it, she let out a shaky breath and continued, “I know why you’ve been distant.” She paused and stared as my eyebrows kneaded in confusion. “I know about your mother.”

  I blinked. “W-what?” I untangled from her and jerked up to sit. What the fuck did she mean she knew about my mother? Had she known all along?

  “Marcus, hear me out, okay?” Mia stood along with me and followed me into the bedroom. Her eyes followed my every move as I pulled on my briefs and then glanced over at her.

  “You knew? For how long, Mia?”

  She reached for a t-shirt and tossed it on. Then she sat down on the bed, staring at me, her eyes pleading with me to understand. I couldn’t understand at that moment because I was upset. Pissed. Fucking irate. I widened my eyes for her to go on. “A few weeks ago, your mother came to me and confided her secret. She begged me not to say anything.” Mia bowed her head and focused on her fidgeting fingers. “I wanted to tell you. Many times I almost did, but it wasn’t my secret to tell.”

  That was un-fucking-believable. My stare hardened as I waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. “So, you’re telling me that for the past few days you’ve known what I’ve been dealing with?”

  “Yes,” she said in a whisper. “But, you have to believe me. I wanted to say something, but I just couldn’t.”

  I was angry with her, but it wasn’t for keeping the secret at the time it was told, it was for something way worse. “You want to know why I’m upset right now, Mia?” I kept my tone low, trying my best not to flip my lid.

  She nodded. “Because I didn’t tell you.”

  “No, I can understand why you kept that to yourself. You’re right, it’s not your secret to tell, but the past fuckin’ three days, you waltzed around here,” I swung my arm indicating where we were, “as though none of it had occurred. What happened to being honest with each another, huh?” I shook my head as I threw on my jeans and tossed on a shirt. “You knew that it was out of the bag—that I finally knew about it and that was why I’ve been upset—yet you pretended as if nothing was wrong. Why? Why now? Why did you choose to tell me this very second?”

  “I-I don’t know—maybe to finally be honest with you. I also couldn’t keep it hidden any longer. I was hoping that you would finally confide in me, tell what was wrong with you, but you wouldn’t.” She stood from the bed, her voice a bit higher. “You want to throw honesty out there, Marcus? Tell me. Why weren’t you honest with me? I thought our relationship was at a point where you would be able to tell me anything that was on your mind. I didn’t want to push the issue, force you into it, hoping that just for once, you’d spill your thoughts and feelings to me.”

  Anger surged through me. I couldn’t believe what she’d said. I may not be fucking perfect and tell her everything, but I was trying. I was fucking trying. With a raised voice, I blurted, “Is that what it was to you? A fuckin’ test to see if I would spill my feelings? You don’t think I spill my feelings to you, Mia? Do you think it was easy for me to talk to you about my dad? Lou? How Jimmie found our father dead? That was me spilling my fuckin’ guts to you.” Frustrated, I raised my arms in the air. “It may not be every damn day or every time something occurs, but I do. Other than Jimmie, you’re the only person that has come close to knowing what goes on in my fuckin’ head.” I finished with a hard stare, my breathing heavy as she stared back at me.

  Tears filled her eyes, and I couldn’t look at her any more. I tore my gaze away and pressed my hands at my hips. With my head bowed, I looked down at the floor, my heart pounding against my chest. “You’re right. You did. Sometimes you’re so distant when you have a lot on your mind. I know you go through a lot, Marcus. I can’t help it that I want to take away all of your stress and worries and make them mine, to somehow ease your burden.” She sniffed a few times. At that statement, I shut my eyes and shook my head. I knew that she worried for me, but I didn’t realize how many of my burdens had stressed her as well.

  “Mia, I’m . . .”

  Before I could finish, the sound of my phone ringing had cut in. I looked up at her wet eyes and had an urge to reach out and grab her, to comfort her, but I looked away and headed toward my phone. “Hello.” I answered on the fourth ring, forgetting to check who it was.

  “Uncle Marcus, guess what I did today?” Elle’s enthusiastic tone chirped through the phone. Even after the entire mess Mia and I had just gone through, I was able to smile at the sound of my niece’s voice.

  “You got me. What did you do?” I asked as I walked passed Mia. I stopped in front of her and covered the speaker of my cell with my hand. “I’m going in the hallway to talk with Elle. I’ll be back soon.” I tilted my head, hoping that she would make eye contact with me, but she didn’t. Instead she gave me a curt nod, turned on her heels, and entered the bathroom. With a heavy sigh, I closed the door to our hotel room behind me as I walked down the hall and turned my attention back to my niece.

  “Daddy took me to my first dance class!”

  “That’s awesome, Elle. Did you learn anything in your first class?”

  “Lots of stretching, but today was ballet, which was okay. Next week is jazz! I’m totally looking forward to it.” I chuckled at how damn cute she was. “So when are you coming back home? I want to show you and Mia some moves I learned.”

  “Soon, sweetheart.”

  “Oh . . . Okay. Daddy wants to talk to you, Uncle Marc. I love you.”

  “Love you too, Elle

  “Elle go play in the yard. I’ll be there in a little while.” Jimmie’s voice came through the phone. “Hey, little bro,” he said after a few seconds in a low tone. I guessed that he wanted to make sure Elle was no longer around.

  “What’s up, Jimmie.” I leaned against the hallway wall and looked down toward our room, hoping I didn’t find Mia running off.

  “So, Mom stopped by last night . . .” He paused, and with a heavy sigh, he continued, “She told me what was going on.”

  “She saved me the trouble, huh?”

  “Bro, trust me when I say she was not happy with my thoughts when she left, but she’s still our mother and a damn good one at that. Her issues with Dad were buried right along with him fifteen years ago.”

  “You don’t think I know that? But she had an affair with that fuckin’ bastard, Jimmie. Out of all the men she could have had an affair with, she had it with Lou! It fuckin’ disgusts me in more ways than one. You know the fuckin’ excuse she had?”

  “No, what was it?”

  “That Dad was never around. She never felt lonelier in her life. That he was always out on jobs—”

  Jimmie blew out a low whistle. “I know, man. I know. I can’t imagine what she was thinking when she messed around on Dad.” He paused for a second. “Are you afraid that Mia will run off and do the same?”

  “What? No.” I was shocked by that random question. I hadn’t thought of it that way. Well, maybe deep down, there was some part of me that was concerned. My mother had always seemed to be perfect in every way; she always took care of her husband and her children. Then, suddenly, after all these years, I found out that she had been unfaithful to my father. What made me think Mia wouldn’t run off and do the same as well? My life now wasn’t much different than my father’s was back then.

  “Look. Trust me when I say that having complete trust in someo
ne is not the easiest part of a relationship. The five years I was married to Cynthia, it wasn’t easy. Fuck, we argued all the time, but I loved her, and we made it work. Building a relationship is never easy, Bro. You have to accept and trust Mia and live happily or don’t and let her go.” He paused, and when he noticed that I wasn’t responding, he proceeded. “I know you’re upset with Mom because I am too, but your anger is not just directed at her, dude. Your anger is based on your insecurities. You lost Mia once. You’re afraid of losing her again. I lost my wife without the chance of ever getting her back. Don’t fuck it up.”

  Fucking asshole. I was pissed that he was fucking right in many ways, and I’d never heard him talk about Cynthia since her passing. “You’re right.”

  He laughed, “What was that? I didn’t hear you well. Can you repeat yourself?”

  “Fuck off! If you didn’t hear me the first time, tough shit.”

  He burst out laughing. “Fair enough. Don’t forget to call Mom. She’s freaking the fuck out and driving me insane. I have to take care of an eight-year-old. I don’t need to be taking Mom in too.”

  “Yeah. I’ll shoot her a text and tell her that we’ll talk when I get back.”

  “Cool, see you soon.”

  After we ended the call, I sent my mother a quick text and tossed the phone in my back pocket. I entered the hotel room and immediately walked around in search of Mia. I was probably gone for twenty to thirty minutes. After a quick glance around the living area and bedroom, I made my way to the bathroom. The door was opened and I spotted her by the vanity. She was fully dressed in a chocolate colored skirt, a teal blouse, and brown knee boots, ready for the early dinner with her grandparents that evening. She looked gorgeous. I leaned into the archway of the bathroom door. With my arms and legs crossed, I studied her. Her expression was somber as she applied her makeup. Her back was facing me, but I was able to see her reflection from the mirror in front of her. She hadn’t noticed my presence yet.