by Ariana Rose
I finally finish all my paperwork at the main office, then take my golf cart chariot ride to the active set. I thought Jordan would be at the meetings this morning to at least greet me, but it wasn’t meant to be. They are behind on the filming schedule; the weather hasn’t been very cooperative as the kind security driver explains to me on the ride. He is very sweet, and I think he can sense my nervousness. When we get to the studio they are filming in, he helps me out, and gives me a thumbs up. “Alexandra Taylor…welcome to the set, and knock them dead.”
I offer him a small smile. “Thank you.”
Once I’m alone, I need a minute to just gather my strength. I hear my mom telling me I can do it. I feel my dad’s pride and hand at my back, guiding me to the door. Lastly, I hear Camryn telling me that this is my chance and to take it.
Once the red light goes off, I’m allowed inside. It’s not at all like I expected. There are so many different sets in my view…some that look like rooms, others that look like outside replicas. I guess if you could be in a live snow globe, this would be what it feels like. Just to my left, I notice the active set. I hear a deep intense voice set at a constant bark. I was warned of this tone. That must be Jordan. I gather all the courage I have and walk, or should I say, hobble, in his direction.
“I need you to do that scene again. The lighting was just a bit off, and Quinn, you weren’t giving me enough. I want to feel that inner struggle.” Just as I’m about to take a breath, he turns in my direction. “Alexandra?”
“Yes. Yes, sir.” I extend my hand. “I’m Alexandra. I prefer Lex.”
“You say ‘sir,’ and I look for my father. You can call me Jordan.” His hand is rough and his shake even more so. Camryn said he was abrasive. I need to grow a thicker skin and quick. “Are you legal?”
“Excuse me?” I ask.
“I mean, is all your paperwork complete? Are you fit to work?”
“Yes, I’m all set. I should warn you. I did twist my ankle a bit yesterday. It shouldn’t be a problem. I’m just moving a little slower than normal.” The words just keep coming. It’s an obnoxious habit I have when I’m nervous.
“Do I need to worry that you are accident-prone?” he asks, sounding a bit irritated.
“No. No, sir… I mean, Jordan. It was a random one-time issue that shouldn’t happen again.” I wish it would—not the ankle part, but I do wish the players would.
“Then let’s get you started with your duties, expectations, and your formal introductions.” I hardly have time to take the screen lock off my tablet before he begins with his list. “You oversee making sure the sets are right and organized for the day. The script edits will be the first and last thing you do every day. Things move fast and change often, and you need to adapt. The actors are your largest concern. The only person whose needs come before theirs are mine. I will need you to begin to anticipate me as quickly as possible.”
“You mean your schedule? Your plans?”
“No. I mean everything about me. I know there will be a learning curve here, but the curve will be short. It must be. I have one main simple rule, Alexandra. If you’re early, you’re on time; if you’re on time, you’re late. Understood?”
All I can think is fuck, what did I just agree to? “Yes. I understand completely. I will be available to you and I’m a quick learner.” I hope I didn’t just lie my way into a corner.
Just as we finish my to-do list, he begins to introduce me to the cast. “Alexandra, this is our lovely star, Quinn Davis. Quinn, this is my new PA, Alexandra.”
I extend my hand to her. “Lex is fine. It’s nice to meet you.”
Her hand is limp in mine, and when I look up, chills run through me. Her smile is there, but it doesn’t go all the way to her eyes. It reminds me of…
“Pleasure,” she says. I wouldn’t call her bitchy, but I see that the potential is there. “Jordan”—she turns, basically ignoring I exist at this point— “what you said about that last take, I was giving you what you asked for.”
Jordan heavily exhales. “Alexandra, will you excuse us, please?”
“Oh…yes, of course.” I take about five paces backward before I turn right into another human. A very male human. My eyes go right to his chest. My hands land square on his arms. Oh God… not again. How does this even happen? I look up and those same eyes from the other day are staring back at me.
***
I look down at the petite bulldozer at my feet. Her eyes rise to meet mine. Those blue eyes that have haunted me for the last nearly twenty-four hours. “Alexandra?”
“I’m really sorry. I haven’t gotten my balance fully back, obviously,” she says.
“Are you here to see me? How did you find me?” Shit…this is not what I needed right now.
“I work here. Well, at least I do now. I’m Jordan’s new Production Assistant. This is my first day.” She keeps rambling. “Obviously it’s my first day, aaaaaaand I can’t seem to stop talking.”
“How is your ankle? You’re upright, so that’s a plus.” I step away from her touch, immediately missing it. I can’t have that here…especially not here.
I watch her hands fold back across her body as if she’s protecting herself. “It’s better, yes. Even if it wasn’t, I would be here anyway. I didn’t want to get fired before I even started.”
Her eyes. I can’t look away from her eyes. They have a kindness to them I haven’t noticed in anyone for a long time. I feel this anxiety inside me. I don’t want this connection, but I can’t break it either. I’m not sure I want to.
“Listen, about yesterday… I…” Before I can finish, Jordan and Quinn come into view. She is making a beeline for me. I can’t have these worlds get any closer than they already are.
Jordan pipes up, “I see you’ve met my new assistant.”
I cover quickly. “She ran me down. I think she needs to carry a ‘watch out’ air horn.” Fuck! I hate the words coming out of my mouth right now. Alexandra is looking at me like I’ve grown horns and a tail. “We haven’t been formally introduced. I’m Julian Stone.” As I extend my hand, she glances down at it, then back up at me. She looks disappointed in me. Trust me. No one is more disappointed in me than I am.
Finally, she takes my hand and in the most formal tone, says, “Pleasure to meet you, Julian. I’m Alexandra Taylor, you can call me Lex. I will have that air horn as requested tomorrow.”
There’s that amazing quick wit, only this time I know she’s using it because I’ve hurt her. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
No sooner are those words said when I feel the daggers of the brunette next to me. Quinn might be Lainey’s sister, but they are nothing alike. Where Lainey was kind and compassionate, Quinn is brash and selfish. She’d think of herself first, second, and third, before anyone else. It’s genetics in its most interesting fashion.
“Jules?” Quinn’s voice pierces the conversation. “I know meeting the new girl is fun and all, but we do have a scene to finish. Jordan made some revisions for us and I think we should rehearse. I’m sure Alex has other people to meet and things to do.”
The breadth of her rudeness knows no limits. “I believe her name was Alexandra or Lex, as she prefers,” I half-growl. “I will rehearse in a minute.”
I look back toward Alexandra and her disappointment is palpable. She wanted more from me and even if we weren’t in front of an audience, I know I can’t give her what she wants.
“I’m sure we will talk again,” Alexandra says, as she turns her full attention to Quinn. “Don’t let me keep either of you. I wouldn’t want to cause trouble on day one. Jordan, I’m ready to be wherever I’m needed or wanted.”
As Quinn pulls me away, I give one look back and watch Alexandra listen to Jordan with intent, but her eyes follow me.
“I can’t tell if she wants to fuck you or fight you,” Quinn says.
I take hold of her arm. “What did you say?”
“I know you heard me.” Her face lights up at my disgust. �
��You really need to get a grip, Jules. You’re going to blow this before it ever gets off the ground.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Riding Daddy’s coat tails and the memory of your late sister. How do you sleep at night?” I bark.
“I sleep just fine. If you came around like you were supposed to, you’d know that,” she snidely replies.
“I’ve only been back in my apartment for a couple of weeks. Things are intense enough without having to deal with you.” As her eyes darken, I wait for the explosion.
“Deal with me? Is that how you see it?” she huffs. “If you were truly dealing with me, you’d be acting like the partner you were supposed to be…like you agreed to be.” I watch her look over to make sure Alexandra is paying attention. Quinn takes hold of the back of my head and kisses me. It’s not the kind of kiss you find in a script but one of knowing someone intimately. She’s really becoming a good actress because that is not how this is for me. Not in my heart.
I pull away from Quinn. “That was a dick move, even for you. How you and Elaine have the same DNA…”
She quickly cuts me off, “You mean had, right?”
I try to control the monster growing inside of me. “I suggest you take the revisions, go to your trailer, and rehearse right now. Your little insecure display is done here.”
She smiles with a bit of a raised voice. “I’ll see you in my trailer soon, Jules.”
It was loud enough for Alexandra and Jordan to turn. Mission accomplished, Quinn. Alexandra’s eyes look at me with the same disgust I feel for Quinn, which is good.
I’d like to say I’m sorry any of this ever happened, but I won’t. I need Alexandra to think I’m an asshole. It’s safer for her around here and it’s safer for me everywhere. I can’t handle the way she looks at me, or the way I look at her. I can’t handle the storm that is building inside me. I can’t afford for anyone to see.
I KNEW THIS job would be hard work. I’m not afraid of hard work, but this? This is a trial in patience and thinking on your feet to the extreme. It’s only been four days and it really feels like four weeks, yet sometimes only four hours. I’m a quick study and have a master’s degree in bullshit if I need it, but damn!
Currently, I’m on another mission from Jordan. I really think he hates me. Why did he hire me if I’m so incompetent? Camryn said he would run me and boy, she was not kidding. I have a short turn around while the cast is getting updates to the schedule. I need to copy the sides for today so those are ready to go. Nothing like doing everything at the last minute. I knock on the makeup trailer door; my hands are way too full. The stacks are over my line of sight as I stumble less than gracefully in.
“Hey Becca...Jordan requires your…” I finally look up and focus. It’s not her I find, it’s Julian. Shit, this is all I need. He’s in wardrobe already. His dark hair is a perfect mess. I should quit staring but I’m finding it hard to look away. I then recall the chill he gave me the other day. “Oh...I’m sorry. I was looking for Becca.”
I want to crawl into a hole… shit, any hole at this point. I want to call him out, but then, I just want to talk too. I start reorganizing my piles, along with my thoughts.
“She’ll be right back. Something about running to the front office for a moment. Wait if you like.” He motions to the makeup chair across from him. If I like?! Part of me likes too much. The other part wants to run.
“Are you sure you want me to? You acted like you didn’t know me the other day, and now you want me to have a casual seat?” And there goes my mouth. I expect him to bark back. That’s what I’m used to.
He says again, “Alexandra, you can wait with me if you like.”
“I can’t. I mean, I shouldn’t.” My knuckles are turning white over the scripts I have in my hand. My feet feel like they are stuck in quicksand. I can’t let nice blind me. I’ve done that before and ended up trapped.
He breaks the chill between us. “You have quite the number of volumes there. Is one of those for me?” he asks.
“What? Oh...yes. Sides for today, and some rewrites for tonight’s location shoot and tomorrow.” I hand his copy over.
“Last minute...nice.” He does a quick flip through the pages, already studying them. He seems really put off by this. I go into usual fix-it mode.
“It’s really not as bad as you think. Most of your dialogue is the same—”
“Is it now?” He looks down and flips through to his scenes. “You’re right...only minor, and mostly blocking. Do you memorize all the scripts?”
“It’s a gift, or a curse.” I feel a heat rise in my face and I stare down at my feet. “I have a near photographic memory.”
“You do?” Julian cocks his eyebrow, flashing his now famous half-smile. “Impressive! Can we put it to the test?” He opens the script to some random page and clears his throat. “Are you ready?” he quips, sitting back quite cocky as he looks up at me.
I swallow hard. “Here? Now?”
“Yes.” His voice lowers. “Now.”
Those two words have never had more meaning. I take a deep breath. “I suppose I can. After all, Jordan did tell me your needs come only second to his.”
I clutch the scripts tighter in my hands. His hot and cold attitude is so confusing. It reminds me of what I’m trying to forget but also with him, I don’t seem to mind of fear it as much.
“Come...sit.” He spins the makeup chair next to him. I pray silently to the walking fairies. Please don’t let me trip over my feet. Please don’t let me trip over my feet. I think I repeat that statement a thousand times until I sit, and I’m pretty sure he could tell because he’s almost laughing.
“So…” Julian licks his lips slowly. I can’t take my eyes off them…him. “I can pick any scene?”
“Su-Sure...” I stumble. “I’ll do my best.”
“I’m certain you will.” He scans to somewhere in the middle. “All right, this is the scene where Nora and Andre are talking in the park. You’ll take Quinn’s dialogue.”
I close my eyes and nod my head slowly. I’m already running the scene in my head. My instincts take over and the words roll off my tongue.
“You should go. You have to go.” Nora is telling Andre to go and, in my head, I’m thinking the same about myself. Get up and run, Lex!
“Why should I? Give me one reason. Just one.” Julian turns into Andre in a heartbeat. He’s so good at turning things on and off. I saw this the other day. Again, I know I need to get up and go, but my feet won’t move.
“You shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be here. Your father wouldn’t approve. There are your reasons.”
I open my eyes and stare directly at him. I’m sure the color is all gone from my face. Julian is concentrating on the new blocking surrounding the words we are speaking. He’s methodically drumming his thumb on the black leather arm of his makeup chair. I wonder, does he always do this when he is studying?
“Do I make you nervous?”
That line can apply to me and Nora. I close my eyes again, thinking, Hell yes, you make me nervous. Nora is supposed to be silent at this moment and so am I. I can’t hear anything but my heart pounding in my ears. Wait…I know what’s coming. A kiss! Oh, shit! He chose the scene with Nora and Andre’s first kiss. He wouldn’t…would he? He’ll stop. There’s no way.
“I thought so.”
Without warning, Julian leans forward and kisses me… hard! At first, I’m stunned. The scripts that were finally back in order in my lap fall to the floor again. I lean into him; my hands cup his face. His lips are so warm, so soft. I completely forget where I am and softly moan against them. I can feel him pull back. My eyes are still closed, but I can feel his pools of blue heating my face. When I open my eyes, we’re staring, both completely lost for words. The creak of the trailer door opening is what snaps us back to reality.
“All right, Julian, we can get started.” Becca sets down her kit and turns to me. “You need a touch up too, Lex?” She laughs at her own attempt at
a joke.
“Uh-huh,” I mumble, Julian and I are still lost in each other’s eyes. I swear my heartbeat can be seen by the satellites orbiting the earth.
“Did I interrupt something?” Becca asks.
“No...” Julian breaks first, clearing his throat. “Alexandra was kind enough to run a rewrite with me for tomorrow.” I watch him rise from his chair. He makes what only I know is an excuse to create instant distance. “I have to make a quick call, Rebecca. I’ll be back in five.”
Julian walks past me and slyly lets his hand brush against mine. I turn what I’m sure is a shade of red yet to be discovered.
“Thank you, Alexandra.” He leaves, closing the trailer door behind him and I finally start breathing again. He kissed me. I’ve never been kissed like that before, ever. It had an intensity I’ve only read about but never felt.
“What the hell was all that about?” Becca pries.
“Nothing…it was nothing.”
I quickly move out the door after gathering my pile of scripts before the inquisition begins. The squawk of Jordan’s voice on my walkie snaps me back from my living dream. He’s barking at me to check and double check everything for the night location shoot. This is my first one. Please don’t let me screw anything up.
***
The roar was becoming so loud. A massive rainstorm swept in from nowhere. We were completely unprepared. I know Alexandra will hear about this. This was one of the things Jordan expected she was responsible for. The few of us who were still filming at our exterior location scattered to any shelter we could seek. The gazebo set up was nearby. I begin to run as light splits the sky. Soon, I only hear my footsteps. Then, as another bolt spiders across the sky, a small frame comes into view. Alexandra. My strides outstep hers nearly two to one. As I pass, I take her tiny hand in mine. Even in the short distance, we are completely drenched. The temperature seemed to bottom out instantly. Safe under the dimly-lit cover of the roof, I can see that the last thirty seconds is registering with her. She’s looking up, expecting to see the rest of the crew right behind us, but they aren’t there. We are alone; me, and her angelic brown eyes with a hint of gold. Her hair is completely clinging to her face. Water is dripping from every corner of her body. The thunder is rolling in louder and closer together. Our eyes meet as the flashes light us from behind me. She looks so different. She’s looking at me, much the same way she did after that kiss this morning.