by Ariana Rose
“Where the hell did that come from?” I shake my arms out, spraying us both.
She pulls her arms up to wrap around her freezing frame. “I… I don’t know. I should have watched the weather more carefully.” Her teeth begin to chatter.
“Are you cold?” I roll my eyes at myself. “Of course you are. Here.” I remove my black leather jacket, shake it off, and wrap it around her shoulders. “Better?”
She manages to eke out, “Th…Th…Thank you.” As a large clap of thunder rattles the earth around us, she jumps forward, landing right in my arms.
“Whoa!” I look skyward as she buries her head in my chest. I let out a small laugh to try and make her feel better. “It’s all right,” I say softly, wrapping her up. I know I shouldn’t be with her like this, but I can’t stop. She feels perfect against me…too perfect.
“I’m sorry, Julian. I’m not a fan of storms.”
“I’m usually not either…until this one.” I think I catch her off guard by my declaration. She looks up into my eyes, finally. My thoughts become as dark as the storm clouds swirling overhead. “Alexandra, I haven’t been able to get this morning out of my head.” I’m completely disarmed in the comfort of her body so close to mine.
“This morning? What do you mean?” Her voice is so quiet.
I remind her, “The script read… You…me…us.” Did I just say us? I haven’t used that word outside of work since Lainey.
“Us?” She’s not looking up. I need to see her eyes again.
“Yes.” I tilt her chin up. “Us.”
She pulls back from me and our eyes lock again. I can’t tell if the electricity in the air is from the storm, or from Alexandra and me.
She shrugs her shoulders, still shivering. “I don’t know what you…”
Just then, the lightning flashes. I feel this panic wash over me and my breathing even changes. I can’t let her go. She takes a step back. I should let this moment pass, but I can’t. She takes another step back. To prevent her from taking another, I swiftly take her face in my hands. Before she can even utter a protest, my lips are harsh against hers. I back her into one of the concrete pillars, and her arm quickly reaches around it to try and steady herself. I leave her lips to kiss across her jawline and suck softly on her neck. My jacket falls to the ground as her hands dive in my hair, giving it a firm tug. I open my eyes for a moment and catch her watching me. Her eyes glisten in the light bolting from the sky. She arches her neck to feel my lips over her pulse. I let my teeth graze across her skin and I press myself hard against her. My whole body is aching to be one with hers. I haven’t felt a sexual pull like this in months. For a long time, they didn’t know if it would be an option for me again. I can assure them now, that is not the case. I thought it died the same day Lainey did. My heart and soul didn’t want it without her. Alexandra has shocked me back to life.
My fingers press into her back, my thumbs graze her rib cage. Panting, I try to find my voice. “Alexandra…” I let out a deep growl, calling her name again. “Alexandra…”
Her hands grip my shoulders as I dive back for her lips, the weather raging on around us. Did the storm create this moment, or did the storm know we were coming?
“Julian…” She moans out sounds of ecstasy. It cuts above the thunder, right into my soul. She calls my name again. “Julian…”
I pull back, breathless. “What?” I don’t want to stop. I’m still craving more.
“Jordan...I hear Jordan calling for us.”
“What? Fuck me!” In the lull between rumbles, my ears catch the sound of his voice. Shit! He’s screaming for her and looking for me, and he sounds pissed. In a panic, I pick up my jacket from our feet, wrapping it back around her shoulders. “Lex, can you stand in front of me?”
Her hands are running through my hair, trying to hide our very public display. I push the dripping strands of hair away from her lashes. With a dazed nod, I see the confusion in her eyes as she asks, “Why?”
I look down. Her eyes follow mine and they widen as the issue is all but evident. She smiles just a bit. “Oh...right...of course.” She strategically places herself in front of me just as Jordan reaches the dry cover of the gazebo.
“There you are!” he addresses me as if Alexandra wasn’t there. “We all scattered to the four corners of the earth. We were concerned you weren’t safe.” His anger turns to her. “Alexandra...why did we not know about the impending storm? This was a key part of your job. Was my explanation on day one not clear enough?”
She opens her mouth to answer but I immediately intercede on her behalf. “J... how is she supposed to predict Mother Nature? You know she can be a real bitch.” I flash that smile Lainey said could, and has, helped me get out of many a situation.
“Well...” Jordan stares Alexandra down. I feel her shrink in size. My instincts are screaming in conflict. I want to protect her, but I can’t raise questions by saying too much. “Julian, we need to get you back to the trailers. We can’t chance an illness at this point. This storm has set us back at least half a day.”
“Understood!” I salute him sarcastically. I get a half-angry, half-exasperated look from Jordan, who tosses an umbrella at her. “I’ll see you back at the command post, Alexandra.”
Once Jordan is safely out of earshot, I turn my attention back to Alexandra. I want to say something, apologize for Jordan’s fit, for me not doing enough. Just as I begin to find my words, she cuts me off.
“Julian...” I can tell she’s searching for what to say, and I have so much and nothing all at once. “I... we should get back to the trailers like he asked.”
I know this is not the time, and stoically agree. “Yes, I suppose we should.” I feel a burn deep inside me. “This isn’t over, Alexandra…not even close.”
I’M STARING OUT the car window as Becca drives me back to my apartment, the rain coating the window in streaks, creating a perfect mess. It’s mirroring what I feel in my head. What just happened? Was it real? Was it a test? I know I felt something and it all makes me feel so uneasy. I could tell he was responding but was it to me or just the moment.
I keep playing that moment, that final moment, in my head. The rain, him, the kiss… the way it abruptly ended. I couldn’t save it. Without words, I handed him the umbrella. He took it, opened it into the rain, and was gone. I pulled his jacket tighter around me. I suddenly felt more than alone. What is more than alone? I’m not sure but whatever it is...I felt it.
“Are you ok?” Becca asks. I can feel her curious eyes on my face.
My gaze never leaves the scenery as it flies by outside the car window. “Yes...I’m fine. Why?”
“Because you’re awfully quiet. It’s not normal!”
I sigh at her attempt at late night humor. I roll my head on the headrest in her direction and fake a smile. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long night. It’s two a.m., I’m soaked to the skin, and I’m…” I take a deep breath, “It’s been a long night.”
“Did something happen out there, Lex? You weren’t fired, right? I mean, shit! Jordan was pissed, but that would be total shit.”
“Yes, I think I’m in deep shit but no, he didn’t fire me on the spot.” I try my best to evade any real conversation. “God, you are full of questions for so late. Don’t you ever switch off?”
As her car finally rolls to a stop outside my apartment, she laughs. “Was that a real question?” We end up laughing together. “Are you sure you’re ok?” she presses still.
“Yes, Mom! May I go now?”
“Okay, fine!” She smiles back, sticking her tongue out. I think she bought it. “Get some sleep, and I’ll call you later this morning.”
“Well, I’ll thank you and hate you for being my alarm clock!” I give her a bear hug. “Sounds good, Becs…Love you!”
“Love you too, Nerd!”
I slam her car door quickly, dashing through another downpour as I enter my building. Each drip off my hair or clothes is a memory of just before midnight.
I feel like Cinderella, but he was the one who left the ball. I get to my door and into the apartment. I can’t think of anything but him. Each clap of thunder is his hand somewhere on me. Each bolt of lightning is a moment of that kiss.
I’m really exhausted but I know sleep is not coming anytime soon. I need to relax somehow. I remember the bottle of scotch I bought for when my dad is here. Even if it’s only once and not for a while, I needed to have it on hand. I decide to crack the bottle for myself. After pouring a double shot, I light a lone candle in my kitchen. It illuminates my living room with a soft glow, starkly opposed to the storm going on both outside and in my head. Music is next. I must have music. It’s the only thing that can comfort my soul at this point. I scan my playlists, searching for a way to soothe this ache I feel. I scroll and scroll until I land on an old friend...Annie Lennox. She begins to ask one of the questions rolling in my head...Why?
Why did this happen?
Why did Jordan have to find us?
Why did Julian walk away so quickly?
The biggest question of them all was…
Why me?
I dig a towel out of my yet to be folded laundry sitting in a basket beside my couch. As I begin to try and dry off, her voice isn’t calming; it’s haunting me further. I have his number, for emergencies, as Jordan would say. Maybe I should use it. As I go to sit in my overstuffed chair, the rain off my balcony begins to fall harder and harder.
I can’t get warm; even the scotch isn’t helping. The last time I was warm was in his jacket. I take the throw from behind me and curl up in it. Just as I take a huge hit off the tumbler and let it burn its way down, there is a knock at my door. I set my glass down, calling out, “Becs, seriously! I told you I was fine.”
I toss my blanket aside and, while towel drying my hair, I fumble with the locks. Once I get the door open, my jaw drops. Julian is standing there, nearly as wet as I am, with a look as ominous as the storm raging outside.
“I warned you this wasn’t over, Alexandra.”
Before I can speak a word, he dives at me, pinning me to the wall next to my open door. The towel drops to my feet. His lips are on me, even more urgent than at the gazebo. That was chance. This… this was desire.
He kicks the door closed with his foot. His hands run down each side of my neck into and across the exposed skin beneath my soaked floral. He tugs at the buttons and sends them flying to the hardwood. Slowly and painfully, he peels the cotton off, tossing it to the floor beside my towel. His hands on my skin raise each hair one by one.
I can’t breathe; he has literally knocked the air clean out of me. He kneels on the floor, dragging his fingers across the band of my jeans. The pads of his thumbs trace lines from my hips, meeting at the zipper. His eyes are hyper focused. He opens the button and drags the zipper south. Leaning in, he places a soft wet kiss at my navel. My head hits the wall with a thump. It rolls slowly left then right, and a soft moan escapes my lips. I can honestly say I’ve never known such pleasure at the hands of another. It’s like his hands were made to touch me and only me. Without thought, my hands grip his dark locks and take hold.
As quickly as he captured my body, he breaks free from my hands, pinning his body to the wall across from me. His hands become fists, as if he is fighting with himself. I’m trying desperately to catch my breath and keep from breaking into tears. I want him. I want him so much it scares me.
“Wh-What?” My voice is desperate, not only for his touch but an answer.
“Where did you come from?” he pants. “Why...fuck....why can’t I stay away from you?”
His words tell me all I need to know. He’s asking the same question I have. His eyes are glossy. What is he fighting? I take a couple of careful steps to close our gap and place my hands on his black V-neck t-shirt. His heart is pounding as fast as mine is. I slide my hands down to the hem and his eyes roll closed. I lean in and kiss his right cheek first, then the other.
My music switches. It’s as if it knows what lies before us.
Something always brings me back to you… never takes too long…
I lift his shirt over his head in one swift motion. His perfectly sculpted body is now exposed to me. I step closer and press my still wet body to his.
I finally have a moment of clarity. “Does it matter why, Julian?” I ask, looking up at him through my lashes. He shakes his head at my question and runs his hands down my body. He anchors them at the back of my thighs and lifts my legs around his waist. We are all lips and tongues, save one word from his mouth. “Bedroom!”
I haven’t been with anyone since… I hadn’t planned on it. I can’t deny this. I can’t, even though I should. This is a need for both of us and I don’t think either of us knows quite, well, why. My back pushes the door to my bedroom open. I’m gripping his shoulders harder than I intend to, I can feel my nails digging into his skin. The tension is so thick. Is it sexual? Could it be fear? I could be asking myself those same questions. My mind is fighting with my body.
He lays me at the end of my bed on my back, my legs just off at my knees. My toes flirt with the carpet below. He stands for a moment, just staring down at me, like he’s plotting his attack.
“What about Quinn?” I can’t help but ask. It’s like He Who Shall Not Be Named.
“Please don’t bring her name in here. This is about you and I.” He opens his fly slowly, the sound of his zipper ringing in my ears.
“I’m sorry…”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Alexandra. Your only job right now…” He forces my jeans down, the water in them impeding his progress as they catch at my knees, sticking to my skin. “Your only job right now is to enjoy, because I plan on it.”
He tugs harder; they finally give as he balls them up, tossing them to the floor like a trophy.
I lean up on my elbows. “Then do it…”
The words barely come. I want him and this so badly. He looms over me, pressing closer until I’m forced to lie flat on my back. He runs his hand down the center of my body from my mouth, where his thumb brushes against my lips. To my chest, where he grazes the skin between my breasts. To my hips, where he grabs both firmly, tugging my bottom to the very edge of the mattress.
He drops his jeans and boxer briefs, kicking them across to join mine on the floor. He studies me, and I can literally feel the heat from his eyes across my flesh. It sends a chill through me. Not in the icky way it did with Hunter. This is something way different. I can’t even process it right now. All I do know is that I need him to hurry. I want another kiss. I want to feel the weight of his body. I want to have him inside me, connected in the most intimate of ways.
His finger traces my panty line in the crease of my left leg. He hooks the cotton and moves it left. That lone action sends electricity to my center. My toes curl from that sensation alone. He leans in, placing a perfect kiss to the skin beneath his finger. I reach up and tangle my fingers in his silky dark hair. I can’t take the foreplay. I pull him down on top of me and attack, kissing his chest and his neck. I take his left earlobe in my mouth, sucking on it gently. The groan his body emits tells me he’s ready and wants me as much as I want him.
I reach down between us and guide his hand away to find him ready, covered, and waiting for me. I stroke him just a couple of times, then place his tip where I need, rolling it over the tight bundle of nerves that are currently screaming for attention. I revel in that moment for just the briefest of seconds before I slide him through my folds. I can feel the curve of his tip nudging against me ever so slightly, like he’s asking permission. I give him a gentle nod and he plunges home.
It almost painful, the way he pushes into the depths of my soul, but that pain bleeds into an unexpected pleasure. We grunt in absolute unison, fast and furious. It’s like we are teens who are afraid of our parents walking in, but we can’t stop. He’s pushing up inside me to the point I think we both might shatter. I’m not letting my fear get the better of me. I close my eyes, the sensation i
ntoxicating, but his voice breaks through.
“Eyes… Open your eyes. I… want… to see… you.” His words are staccato, broken only by the thrusts of his body into mine.
I claw at his back and my bed squeaks. The iron frame clatters against the wall, and the sounds create the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard. It’s only improved by the thunder roaring outside, adding the bass line to our performance.
He calls my name on a harsh groan. “Alexandra… I won’t last. I can’t…”
“Don’t… I… don’t…” I pant furiously. I’ve never been a part of passion like this. My body is on fire, burning from the inside out. We come together in a private display of fireworks. I can feel him pulsing, a shudder running over him as he finally reaches the bottom of his peak. After our descent, his weight fully rests on me. I keep my arms tight around him. I’m afraid he’ll evaporate, and this will only have been some extremely vivid dream. I stroke his hair over and over and without even meaning to, I fall asleep beneath him.
***
What feels like only five minutes later, I hear the birds outside my window, mingled with the morning running crew. I roll my head to the right and I find the pillow is empty. Shit! It was just a dream. I pull the covers back and find I’m in my cami and panties from last night. Covers? My blanket was in the other room before he showed up. As I run my fingers through my hair like a brush, I suddenly notice a smell from the kitchen. The smell of glorious caffeine. I wander out into the kitchen, expecting to find a curious Becca on my couch. Instead, I find a fresh brewed pot of coffee and a note…