Falling Under

by Lauren Dane

  “They don’t see you and understand how much it means for you to help the people you love. That the way you step in and take care of your family is that you make things easier for them in whatever way you can. They don’t know you like I do. Like Asa and Mick do. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. It means they don’t know you.”

  “Like you do, yes. That was it. The epiphany. I’ve had this stick up my butt about them not coming to me. And how why didn’t they because I give great advice. But they’re not rejecting me or my advice. They just don’t think to need it. It’s not about me. Not like that. Not how I was seeing it,” Duke said.

  “Wow, that’s pretty freaking smart.”

  “I love you, Carmella. Because you know me. You understand me. You don’t need me to live, but you want me around. That distinction wasn’t one I even really got until tonight. Just a few minutes ago. I came back here to you to seek your advice. To bounce ideas off you, and because you always make me feel better when I’m around you.”

  “What time do you fly out?” she asked because hadn’t he just said she understood him?

  “I’m probably going to wait until the end of the week. Only two people get to see him in ICU for five to ten minutes. My parents are there, but my dad said Danny’s ex showed up and they’re thinking of letting her have one of their spots.” And Duke wanted to be with Carmella as her mother left town.

  “Do you think the ex is a good thing? Like maybe she left because she thought if she gave him an ultimatum, he’d get it together? Or did she use with him and it would be bad?”

  Duke kissed her again quickly. “I hadn’t thought of it that way. Truth is I don’t know. I just don’t know enough about the situation to say with any certainty and I don’t want to make things worse.”

  “That must have been hard.” She wasn’t teasing. She knew what it meant to him that he could give the people he cared about good counsel.

  “I don’t like it. It makes me feel useless. I can’t fix this the way I can an engine. I don’t have the skills I need for this problem.”

  She hugged him tight and then lay facing him, resting her chin in her hand. “And you feel like what? You’re bad because you don’t?”

  “If I did, it would be fixed.”

  “Maybe if they’d opened up to you more, gotten to know you, they would have shared and you’d have seen and you’d have the skills. Maybe if you’d called that morning, Danny would have left later and wouldn’t have gotten into an accident. Or if your mother had a cold and went to sleep the night you were conceived instead of making you. Or. Or. Or. You don’t have superpowers, no matter how much I joke. You are intuitive and smart about people. But how can you be with them if you’re not part of their lives? If you don’t know them any better than they know you?” Carmella asked.

  “They’re a great family.”

  “You just don’t feel like they left enough room on the couch for you.”

  He paused with a snort. “Again, I wish you listened to your own advice. It’s really good advice and you need it. What are you going to do about your mother?”

  “There’s nothing I can do. I can’t make her leave him as you pointed out. I can’t stop her from going to Spokane. She’s forty-three years old. She managed to survive all this time.”

  “You’ll be here when she needs you. She’ll remember that when she has to,” Duke said.

  Carmella breathed him in at the crook of his neck. “I can see why you like to sniff me here. This is a nice place for all your sexy smell to collect.” She nipped the skin there. “I don’t want her to go. I’ll worry about her. If something happens, I’m going to blame myself.”

  “I know. And you’ll be wrong. I’ll tell you so. I expect your uncle and aunt will too. Sometimes the best option is still a shitty option. I’m sorry. I wish I had better advice to give.”

  “Aren’t we a pair?”

  He flipped her to her back, looming over her. “We are. Who else gets me the way you do? Who else truly knows me and never turns away?”

  “Would you like me to come with you when you go down to see your brother?”

  “I would. But then I’d be worried about you and if they were being nice enough and I wouldn’t be focused on Danny and getting down to the bottom of this problem.”

  Which was what he needed. Though she wanted to be there to soften what would likely be a tough visit, she knew she couldn’t do this for him any more than she could live for her mother. Thank goodness he only had a penchant for driving too fast and fistfighting.

  “You know I can entertain myself. But I get it. I’m here if you need me. I can be on the next plane down there.”

  CHAPTER

  Twenty-nine

  Carmella smiled at the bouquet of roses on her dresser. Next to the vase sat a brown paper sack that, once opened up, appeared to hold more bulbs.

  “He’s really slick, that guy.” PJ came in. “I’m assuming those are from Bradshaw?”

  No card had been necessary. She’d known they were from him.

  “Yes.”

  He was coming home that day. With his parents, and they were all going to dinner in an hour.

  Duke had left nearly two weeks before. The morning after her mother and Steven had driven away from Seattle in a rickety truck she wasn’t sure would make it over the pass, but that wasn’t her problem anymore.

  She worried, though, and couldn’t deny how relieved she was when Virgie had called to say they’d arrived in Spokane. She’d even said she loved Carmella before she hung up.

  PJ was there to help her pick out what to wear as she had zero meet-the-parents experience.

  “I think that black dress with the embellished collar. It’s feminine and fits you so well. You can bend over and your boobs won’t pop out. Black hides it if you get a little food flecks here and there. And it makes your hair look even more red.”

  Carmella changed into the black dress and PJ helped her zip it up.

  “I’ll do your makeup. I promise it’ll be pretty.”

  Carmella put on her robe while PJ did her makeup and hair.

  When she was done, she got pretty close to what she hoped a woman who deserved Duke looked like.

  “You look gorgeous. Asa said he and Mick talked to Duke day before yesterday and all he did was moan about how much he missed you.”

  Carmella smiled. “Good. Because I’ve missed him too. I’d rather that than have him realize he really just isn’t that into me after being gone for two weeks.”

  PJ got on the floor with Ginger. “As if. Take it from me, Duke Bradshaw is totally in love with you. You. Not the idea of you. Or only while you’re around. This is the real deal for him.”

  “How do you know? I mean, he’s got everything on the ball and I don’t. I’m a glorified secretary renting a house and he owns a business and has, like, eleven cars.”

  “Where the hell would the world be without secretaries, Carmella? And anyway, you’re not a glorified anything. You’re amazing. And smart and really organized. He loves you.”

  Carmella hoped so because she’d begun to really believe it. And to believe she loved him too. Which was scary!

  Carmella hugged PJ, who’d stood and was giving her the once-over.

  “Perfect. You look classy.”

  “Classy works. I should get going. I said I’d meet them all downtown. He took them to their hotel and was getting them checked in.”

  “Why don’t I drive you and drop you off and you can catch a ride back with him?”

  Twenty minutes later she walked through the front doors of Metropolitan Grill and was being shown to the bar, where they were all waiting for a table.

  She saw Duke before he’d noticed she was there. He sat at a high-top table with the people who had to be his parents. His father was an older version of Duke, only softer in the middle and clean shaven. His mother was a woman Carmella bet had her nails done at least once a week, had her hair done every six weeks without fail, and would never
be caught dead at the grocery store without full makeup.

  He was so beautiful and certainly she wasn’t the only one who noticed. Women all over the place checked him out but he didn’t notice them at all.

  As she approached, his gaze flicked up from the beer in his hand to Carmella and there was no other way to put it than that he lit up when he saw her.

  Relief nearly made her legs go out from under her. He still looked at her like she was the only woman in the room. It was going to be okay.

  He stood and in three of his gigantic strides he was hugging her.

  “Gorgeous, damn you’re a sight for sore eyes and a lonely heart. I missed you so much.”

  She hugged him back, glad she’d worn her highest heels so she wasn’t so much shorter than him.

  “I missed you too.”

  He rested his forehead against hers for a last moment and then straightened. “Ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  He turned and walked with her over to the table where his parents were. He introduced her; they shook her hand and said they were pleased to meet her.

  Over dinner they made small talk. Asked about Carmella’s dog and how the shop was doing in Duke’s absence.

  They seemed to be looking forward to the grand opening the following night, though they were headed back first thing Saturday to be with Danny.

  They were cordial and Carmella noted the way Duke and his father looked back and forth to one another as they filled her in on the situation with Danny. She hoped they had done some major work over the time they’d had together. Duke deserved it.

  The strain showed around his eyes, though. As the evening wore on, the toll of the time he’d been gone grew more and more plain on his face.

  Finally, when she began to wonder if his parents would ever see how tired their son was, or if Duke would just admit it and they could leave, Carmella was done waiting.

  “Duke, why don’t we finish up so your mom and dad can get some rest,” she said before looking at his mother. “You must be so tired. The last two weeks have been so hard on you all.”

  He signaled the server and turned back to the table. “They’re getting the car from the valet.”

  Carmella and his mother headed to the ladies’ room and had inevitable mirror chitchat.

  “Duke talked about you a lot.” Here and there, a lot like Duke, her accent would come back. Just a word or two. She tried harder, Carmella bet, to get rid of it. Duke didn’t seem to care. It only made him sexier anyway.

  Carmella had to leave a good review for the stuff she put on her hair earlier because it was doing a decent job of keeping her hair from tripling in size in the wet weather.

  She turned to face Carmella because the woman didn’t need to smooth down flyaways, even on a rainy day. Her hair was perfect.

  “I was uneasy when he told me you worked for Twisted Steel. A romantic entanglement with an employee is something that could go disastrously wrong for him and his business. He doesn’t think we’re proud of him. But we are. And he talked about you in the same way he talks about Twisted Steel. Both make him happy and appear to be pretty central to his life. He hasn’t talked to me about a girl since he was in high school. She was a redhead too.”

  Carmella relaxed, laughing. “I’ll have to thank her for tossing him back so I could have him instead. He makes me happy too. Your son is pretty much everything I always dreamed of but figured I’d never find.”

  “Like what? Tell me something you love about him.”

  “He’s got an unswerving sense of loyalty. You can see it when he’s around Asa and Mick. They have this connection, a deep sense of brotherhood. These burly dudes with facial piercings and ink from neck to toe are so funny together. Like naughty little boys. Quarreling. Breaking things. But they’re thick as thieves. Would—and did—risk their lives for each other. He does that with people he considers family. I am astonished and humbled that your son loves me and considers me part of that family. You did a good job with him.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “He’s the way he is now and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. He learned it somewhere.”

  “Thank you for saying that.” His mother headed toward the door. “I invited Duke—and you, of course—to Thanksgiving at our house. I would love it if you could come down. Having him around has made me realize how much I miss him when we don’t see him more than once a year, if that. His sister would love to meet you. And the kids love their uncle Duke.”

  “Thank you. I hope we can make it. I don’t know what the shop does as it’s my first year there.”

  Carmella blushed as they headed to the front of the restaurant, where Duke and his father waited.

  The car pulled up and she gave Duke a look.

  “Don’t worry, I didn’t buy another car. This is a rental.”

  He took them back to their hotel and then drove to his place.

  “I need to get inside my house. Go get our dog so she can sleep with us tonight.”

  Carmella laughed. “She’s going to lose her mind when she sees you. She’s mad at me because I think she’s suspicious I did away with you somehow.”

  “Come on. I’ll go with you because I admit I’d really like to see her too.” Duke unlocked her door, calling Ginger’s name. She barked and hopped around as he knelt and let her lick his face.

  “You’re soft for my dog.”

  “I always have been.” He straightened. “Get yourself whatever you need for the night and let’s go to my house. Because I’m hard for you.”

  “I’ve missed your sexual innuendo.”

  “Just one of the services I provide.”

  He looked really tired, so once they got to his place, she urged him to take a shower.

  “I’ll give you a massage when you finish and you can tell me all about it,” she told him.

  “That’s the best offer I’ve had all day.”

  CHAPTER

  Thirty

  When Duke got out of the shower and headed into the bedroom, he had to force himself not to rush.

  And there she was. Candles were lit and he had to grin at the sight of her in actual lingerie.

  “You like?”

  Black against the pale of her skin. Freckles dancing here and there. Creamy white lace framed the cups of the bra and made little ruffle things on the ass.

  “I really, really do. Wow.”

  “I told you that I could pull out the stops for sex dressing from time to time.”

  “You sure did.”

  “I also thought the outfit sort of had a maid thing going.”

  “My mother has a cleaning lady. I was there around her, and I have to tell you, my thing about you cleaning? It’s got nothing to do with anyone else wiping down counters or scrubbing a floor. It’s a one hundred percent Carmella fixation.”

  “I’m not complaining. On your belly. I’ll give you a massage while you talk to me.”

  He shucked the sleep pants and shorts.

  “I’ve missed you so much.” Carmella stepped close and slid her hands all over his torso. “Missed the way you smell. The way you keep me warm at night. It’s been cold here this week. Missed your voice.”

  He cupped her cheeks. “I missed you too, gorgeous. Damn I love you. Love you, love you, love you.”

  She threw her arms around him and tipped back. “I love you too.”

  He nearly choked. The crap with her mother being so fresh, he really hadn’t expected it this soon, if at all.

  “You do?”

  “I do. I guess I have a romantic fool’s heart too.”

  He kissed her, easing her back to the bed. “There’s nothing foolish about you.”

  “Whatever. Regardless, the situation is this. I realized earlier tonight as PJ was here helping me get ready that I believed you loved me. And that I loved you. And when you looked at me tonight when I came into the bar, I was the only woman in the room for you. There was nothing left to do by that point but love y
ou and stop pretending I didn’t.”

  “You are the only woman in the world as far as I’m concerned.” He insinuated himself between her thighs. “I don’t really want a massage,” he said, kissing her in between the words.

  “You don’t? You should. You looked so tired tonight at the end of dinner. I wanted to put you in a wagon and pull you home.”

  “I can see you doing just that and daring anyone to stop you.” He undid her bra and slid it from her body.

  “See? Five minutes, tops. Why spend the money on that kind of stuff every day when cotton underpants are way cheaper and more comfortable?”

  He tried not to smile but gave up. “I have no complaints about your white cotton panties. All I want is what’s in ’em anyway. But I do like this little number. The panties do something for me.” He ground himself against her pussy.

  She shuddered a breath. “That’s worth it right there. Bravo.”

  “Just getting started.” He slid the panties aside to get access to her pussy. Already slick and ready for him. “The problem with finally falling in love after years of being single is that I got used to you. In my bed pretty much every night, or me in yours. Your smell on my hands and on my sheets. The way you feel as I slowly push my cock into you. You ripple all around me and it’s so hot it makes me insane. In the morning first thing when you’re relaxed and easy. In the middle of the night because I woke up and couldn’t not be fucking you.”

  He slid the pad of his thumb over her clit in circles. She gasped and it tore at his control.

  “I got used to your smile when I come into your office or show up at your door. No one told me I needed to eat something besides onion rings, or made sure my DVR is scheduled for all the weird car stuff most people don’t know anything about. Being away from that made me realize a thousandfold how much I have in you. Hot and sticky sweet. Strong.”

  Her nipples beaded hard and dark and he stretched up to flick one. Her pussy superheated around his fingers.

  “You are everything. Give it to me, gorgeous. Let’s get started with a climax to take the edge off.” He twisted his wrist, sliding two fingers deep. She arched her back and then rolled her hips, riding his hand.