by Stacey Ritz
“Hey Cooper.” Rainie pressed the phone to her ear.
“Wow, it’s so loud! Are you in a wind tunnel?” Cooper laughed.
“Walking on the beach.” She spoke loudly into the phone. “It’s the waves you’re hearing.” She smiled and for the first time since she’d arrived to Corolla, she felt grateful.
“Lucky!”
Rainie’s smiled disappeared. “No, actually I can’t wait to get back to the farm.”
“You mean, you can’t wait to get back to your wonderful boyfriend?” He teased.
“Oh, him too.” She tried to force a smile, although her mind began obsessively focusing on the sanctuary once again. How was Grace doing with her medication? Was Sparkles hiding from Rebecca or warming up to her?
“Sometimes I think you might love your farm more than you love me.” His tone was playful, but the words made Rainie’s stomach tighten. Love?
Rainie cleared her throat.
“Those must be some waves.” Cooper commented once more on the roar that consumed the phone line.
“They’re enormous today!”
“Have you been enjoying them? Boogie boarding and stuff?”
Rainie sighed. “Hardly, Cooper.”
“Hey, hey…don’t get upset. I was calling to see how you are doing. Come home if you’re miserable at the beach. Drive home today.”
“I can’t. We haven’t…Dad’s ashes…” Her voice trailed, drifting off into the roar of the waves.
“It’s hard to hear you…”
Rainie tried to repeat herself and then added, “Mama asked me to stay for the week. I said no. But I have to stay today and I plan on driving back tomorrow…”
“Okay…it’s really tough to hear you with the waves and all. We can talk later. So, you’re coming home tomorrow?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Okay…well, enjoy the beach!” Cooper said cheerfully. “See you tomorrow, Rainie.”
Rainie said good-bye, wanting to throw her phone into the ocean. She would have tossed it had it not been for the sanctuary and Rebecca’s updates. She sighed again, running her fingers through her loose hair. Cooper McCarty was very handsome. At thirty-five, Cooper was financially secure thanks to his über-successful career in real estate. His sandy blonde hair and lightly tanned, toned body were easy on the eyes. He cared about Rainie, too. He’d called her, after all. And, of course it was a plus that he cared about animals. He shared his home with a dog he’d rescued from the city animal shelter. He’d come to volunteer at the sanctuary, although it was a mandatory work gig, he’d appeared to enjoy himself that day. Had that been because he’d met Rainie or because he actually enjoyed being at the farm, Rainie wasn’t totally sure. Now that she thought about it, he hadn’t been back since to volunteer on his own accord and he could have easily done so since they’d been dating.
Rainie was consumed with thoughts of Cooper. She wondered if she was being too hard on him. He’d called to be nice; to check in on her. She needed to give him a break, she silently scolded herself.
It was time to turn around and head back to the beach house. The beach-goers were beginning to arrive with their brightly colored towels, volleyball nets and bottles of sunscreen. Rather than walk the full half mile back on the beach, Rainie opted to cut between two beach houses and take the sidewalk that sat along the one and only main road of Corolla, Highway 12. She needed a change of scenery. As she reached the pavement, she slid her flip-flops back onto her feet, hearing her phone buzz to life once again. Looking at the screen, she read a text from Cooper: “I love you.” She read the words three times before shutting off her phone and tucking it back into the pocket of her overalls. I love you? They weren’t anywhere near saying those words to each other, not yet. And the first time he said them, he chose to say it with a text?
Looking ahead, Rainie searched for the yellow beach house in the distance, although she knew she still had a while to walk. Traffic was light and the sun beamed warmly on her skin. Up ahead, Rainie noticed someone crouched on all fours outside of a grated sewer drain. As she neared, she noticed the individual had his head tucked beneath the drain. Curiously, she watched as his arm emerged, placing two yellow chicks onto the sidewalk where the mother duck was anxiously watching and waiting for her little ones. A moment later, two more chicks were pulled up from the drain and placed safely near their mom. The duck quacked and shook her feathers. Rainie counted seven little ones in total. Once the duck determined all of her little ones were safe, the family formed a line and waddled toward the calm waters of the dark blue Sound. They didn’t have any additional roads to cross, as they’d made it through the only one, with the help of a stranger. Rainie smiled, forgetting about the phone call and text from Cooper and feeling at ease about her sanctuary back home. Her blue eyes followed the duck family as they happily made their way to the water, together.
“Rainie Lynn?” The voice sounded oddly familiar, instantly sending a swarm of fluttering butterflies to her stomach.
Switching her gaze from the ducks to the voice standing before her, Rainie’s mouth formed an O before breaking out into a giant smile. “Oh my gosh! What are you doing here?”
“Nice to see you too.” He opened his arms wide and wrapped them around Rainie, hugging her tightly.
“It’s been a long time.” Rainie pulled back after squeezing him, looking him in his eyes. His short dark hair reflected his familiar high school appearance. His eyes sported the same handsome squint as they always had. And she was glad to see that his dimples hadn’t disappeared.
Clearing his throat, he stood back, placing his hands in each of his pockets. “Fourteen years.” He softly added. “How did we get to be thirty-two? That’s the age of grown-ups! We’re still kids, right?” He laughed easily, his eyes fully engaged with hers.
“I know, I know.” Rainie agreed, nodding. “Fourteen years…really?” She did the calculation in her head. “It really has been a long time.” She pushed her hair nervously behind her ears. “You still look the same.” She said, her flushed cheeks unable to hide her unease.
“Thanks. You look…you look beautiful, Rainie.”
Rainie could feel her heart beating harder by the second. Though her cheeks had turned a deep shade of pink, she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. “Do you come to the beach often to save families of ducks?” She motioned to the placid waters of the Sound sitting to their left. Together they spotted the family of ducks swimming peacefully, the little ones following neatly in a line behind their mom.
He cleared his throat once more, a nervous habit he’d had since he was five years old. Chuckling, he replied, “I was out for a run and the mother duck was pacing back and forth, quacking up a storm. I stopped to take a look and sure enough, a few of her little ones had fallen through the open slats.” He shrugged as if what he had done hadn’t been a big deal.
“You saved their lives.”
Nodding, he said, “I happened to be in the right place at the right time.”
Rainie smiled broadly, knowing fully well that not everyone would have made the effort to do what he’d done. Milo Rivers was special that way. He always had been.
“That’s great you’re still running…” Rainie gestured toward his sneakers.
Milo nodded. “Not competitively…but I run several times a week in the mornings, before work usually.”
There were so many things Rainie wanted to ask him. Her questions, both banal and intriguing, swarmed her mind. Did he ever think about her? Was he married? Her eyes moved to his left hand in search of a ring. None. She drew in a deep breath, feeling relieved. But, why? They hadn’t dated or spoken to each other in fourteen years. She’d been the one who left him. “It’s beautiful here…” Rainie struggled to find something to say. Why was it that when you had the most to say, that’s when words failed you?
“It is. We come here every summer.”
Rainie heart sank. We?
“My brothers, Liam and Wyatt.”
Milo clarified instantaneously and Rainie wondered if it was because her face had given away her thoughts.
She let out the breath of air she hadn’t known she’d been holding when Milo mentioned his brothers’ names.
“And my dog, Buddy.” He ran his hand along the back of his neck. “Liam is an accountant and lives in Richmond, Virginia with his wife and two children. Wyatt is a veterinarian, too and lives in Knoxville, Tennessee. He got engaged last month.”
“Of all places, I can’t believe this is where we’d run into each other…and after so long.” Rainie shook her head in disbelief. She watched as Milo looked down at her hands, at least she guessed that’s what he’d been doing. Was he looking to see if she wore a ring, too? And wait, did he say ‘Wyatt’s a veterinarian, too’?
“How long are you here?”
“I’m not sure, to be honest.”
“Not sure?” Milo smiled, showcasing his dimples once more.
“Well…I…” Rainie’s voice trailed and she looked around at the cars passing by, at the vacationers toting their beach gear toward the beckoning of the ocean waves. “I said it was going to be a day or two…but Mama asked me and Ronnie to stay for the week and…well, I’m thinking about it. With work and everything…I need to get back. I can’t be gone long.” She knew she was babbling, but she couldn’t find a way to stop herself. She hadn’t seen Milo in over a decade. Milo Rivers, the love of her life. Milo, her high school sweetheart. Milo, the kindest human being she’d ever met. Milo.
He nodded, taking in everything she was saying. “And your dad, is he here, too?”
Shaking her head, Rainie told him, “He passed away. Car accident.”
“I’m so sorry, Rainie…when?”
“Recently. I’m actually here in Corolla because of him. Mama asked Ronnie and I to come here to spread his ashes. I haven’t seen them in…well, a long time. It’s not a vacation or anything. I’m here because…” She gulped, not knowing why she was choking up. Talking to Milo, standing in the salty air, it all felt suddenly overwhelming; surreal, in fact.
“Rainie…that must be difficult.” Instinctively, Rainie leaned into Milo’s familiar arms. She pressed her cheek against his chest, feeling her pounding heart begin to slow at the weight of his embrace. She’d read once that hugging causes a decreased heart rate and a drop in stress hormones such as cortisol and norepinephrine. Hugs can also release oxytocin, which is known to increase levels of the feel-good hormone’s serotonin and dopamine. She reasoned, that must be what was happening to her now. In his quiet embrace, Rainie felt safer than she’d felt in years. Fourteen years to be exact. After a moment, Rainie pulled herself back from Milo, not wanting him to think she’d completely gone off the deep end.
“It’s so good to see you, Milo.” She looked into his warm brown eyes. The hug had opened something inside of her; something that had sat dormant for years. She suddenly found herself wanting to tell him everything. Most of all, she wanted to tell him how much she had missed him. She wanted to know everything he’d done in the previous years. She wondered if he was dating anyone. And was he married or engaged? He didn’t have a ring on now, but she knew sometimes people removed their rings before exercising.
“Well, I should get going.” Milo pointed south. “Liam and Wyatt signed us up for a surf lesson this morning. I don’t think surfing is going to be my thing…” he chuckled. “But I’m giving it a try. I don’t see those two often enough these days.”
“I should get going, too.” Rainie pointed in the opposite direction. The two awkwardly stared at each other before moving their separate ways. “Milo?”
Milo turned, his eyes squinted beneath the bright summer sun.
“You said Wyatt is a veterinarian, too?”
He nodded. “You’re looking at the other veterinarian in the family. I set up my own practice in Morehead.”
“You went back to Morehead?” Rainie’s eyes widened. When she’d broken Milo’s heart after high school graduation, he’d left for The Ohio State University in Columbus. She wondered if that’s where he’d completed all of his schooling. She wondered everything about him.
“It’s my home.” He smiled warmly, allowing his dimples to shine at her.
“Congratulations.” Rainie pressed her lips together nervously. “…on becoming a veterinarian…that’s amazing.”
Milo dipped his head bashfully. “Thanks. I enjoy the work.” He turned, as if trying to coax himself to leave, but then stepped closer to Rainie instead. “What about you?”
“Me?” Rainie’s mind raced. She couldn’t think straight.
“What do you do for a living?” He looked at the road, watching a car pass. “I bet you’re a big business executive…I have no doubt you’re a huge success in whatever it is that you do.”
Now it was Rainie’s turn to feel bashful. She nervously picked at her nails, looking up at Milo. “I run a non-profit, Kentucky Farm Sanctuary.”
“No kidding?” Milo beamed. She could sense his unspoken words. She knew he was wondering why she’d broken up with him after graduation. She knew the fact that they both worked with animals struck him as more than simply ironic. Ronnie would have said this was a sign. The fact they’d run into each other here, at the beach, was obviously a sign, too. Ronnie had always been a big believer in signs. Since her arrival to the beach, Rainie knew this was something that remained. Some things never change, Rainie reasoned. “Congratulations to you…that is…that is something.”
Rainie swore she saw sadness in his eyes. Even though it had been so long, she still knew Milo’s eyes like the back of her own hands. They’d been best friends since kindergarten. They’d been high school sweethearts. Their senior year, Milo had called them soulmates and Rainie told him she didn’t know if soulmates existed or if soulmates were something more reminiscent of a fairy tale. He’d argued that they did exist; he knew it because he knew her. She’d told him she needed to think it over. But instead of getting back to him on the topic, she’d broken up with him and moved away, refusing to answer his calls although he’d never known why. What he had known is that she loved him and she’d known he’d loved her. Neither party had ever questioned the validity of the feelings they’d shared.
“I’ll let you get back to your brothers…to your surfing lesson.”
Milo stood staring at Rainie. His look pulled her toward him; what she wouldn’t give to go back in time. “I’m really sorry about your dad.” He added.
“Thanks.”
“Would you want to grab a bite to eat and catch up before you leave?” She couldn’t be sure, but she thought his voice had caught in his throat when saying the word leave.
“I’d love to.” She tried not to seem too eager, yet wanted to convey how much she really missed him. Rainie couldn’t help but catch the word she’d chosen. Love. She’d love to grab a bite to eat. The word had rolled off her tongue with ease.
Milo handed Rainie his phone and she entered her number. “We’re staying in the yellow house on Lighthouse Road. It sits on the beach.”
“I’ll wait to hear from you.” Milo tucked the phone into his pocket and turned to finish his run.
Rainie waved, watching him jog away, her heart thumping loudly. It must be the heat, she convinced herself. They’d been standing in the sun for quite a while; she was probably dehydrated. She would call Rebecca and tell her she was going to stay at the beach for the week, as long as everything was running smoothly at the sanctuary. For the first time since she’d arrived in Corolla, she felt the urge to stay. She hoped Ronnie would stay for the week, too. And she knew her mama would be pleased. Maybe she needed this trip more than she’d known.
〜
“Rainie, take Ronnie and go under the bed in Ronnie’s room. Lock the door behind you and cover your ears.” Sarah-Jayne whispered frantically to her daughters. Rainie knew the drill. Her dad was rude and demanding, he was a chronic manipulator and a liar, but he was rarely violent. Still, Rainie knew when her mom�
�s voice lowered to this level, when her eyes widened, she needed to listen. “Will you be okay, Mama?” Rainie asked quietly.
Sarah-Jayne nodded her head. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Hurry along now…take your sister…” She shooed the girls with her hands.
Rainie did as she was told, holding Ronnie’s little hand and leading her into the bedroom. She locked the door and together they slid beneath the double-bed.
“What are we doing?” Ronnie cried.
Putting her finger over her lips, Rainie made the “Shhh” sound. “We’re playing a game.”
Ronnie thought about it for a minute. “What game?”
“Hide-and-seek.”
“Who’s looking for us?”
“Mama.”
“Okay.”
“Put your hands over your ears, like this.” Rainie demonstrated.
The two sisters sat quietly together, their stomachs against the carpeted floor. Dan had been missing for more than a week. Rainie overheard her mom on the phone telling someone that Dan hadn’t been to work in six weeks. Rainie knew he couldn’t have been delivering letters for the North Pole again, because it wasn’t anywhere near the Christmas holiday season.
Covering her ears only muffled the shouts. She cringed at the sound of screaming and breaking glass.
“Rainie?” Ronnie whispered a while later. “I don’t think Mama’s very good at this game.”
“Game?”
“Hide-and-seek. The game we’re playing! Remember, silly?” Ronnie giggled.
Rainie felt relieved that Ronnie was oblivious to what was happening; to their dad’s drunken fit. “Oh, right.”
“Let’s give her a few more minutes…this is a really good hiding spot.”
Ronnie gave her big sister a thumbs up and the two sisters continued hiding in silence as Rainie waited for the shouting to end.
The next day, Rainie’s dad called a family meeting. The four Amburger’s sat at the kitchen table, a place they rarely gathered as a unit.
“Girls…” he looked all three of them in the eyes. “I’m truly sorry for the outburst yesterday. I wanted to let you know that I thought a lot about it last night and I’ve changed.” Rainie had lost count of how many times he’d said those words: I’ve changed. And not once had he ever changed. She didn’t know what Ronnie thought, but she wondered about her mama? Did she actually believe him when he said the words? “I promise all three of you…” he pointed at each of them individually. Rainie shifted her eyes down to her hands. “Things are going to be better around here. I’ll be better. Trust me.”